What do swinging females think of male bi sex?

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

I am curious as to how the female members here really feel about bi male sex?

[Ashley 22]

Once at a swing club I jokingly suggested that my bf kiss the male half of the couple we were swinging with....I will never forget the look on his face...lol. Basically, he would never go there and I think that is pretty typical in the swinging community...the men tend to be strictly het while they appreciate bisexuality in their women....good ole double standard.

[babydragon 16]

Quote

Originally posted by Ashley

good ole double standard.

 

Havn't you noticed in so many adult movies, the FF action is a must but the major lack of MM action is kinda the norm

 

I guess the idea for most straight men is "I am a batter not a catcher". But then again I notice a lot of men dont mind a girls finger popping in for a visit

[OhioCouple 40]

Originally posted by Ashley

I will never forget the look on his face...lol.

OMGoodness....ROFL!!! I would have loved to been a fly on the wall that night! I think if I were to say something like that to my husband in the heat of the moment....it would be automatic 'deflation'....party over! ROFL!!!

 

On the other hand if you really don't care for the couple you are with....could be an easy way out of a sticky situation! ROFL!

 

 

Lori

[Brit_Pair 62]

From Mrs Brit:

 

I wouldn't want him to go there (the very idea flips my stomach). I don't think he'd want to go there if I did though!

[imsnowman 34]

From Mrs. Snowman,

The right choice wasn't really there so here's an explanation. Kind of interesting that 80% of the 25 votes are "for" some kind of interaction. You'd think from all the discussions and ads that it was almost verboten.

 

I fantasize about it and I'm sure that Mr. Snowman would go there in the right situation but I'm not sure I want to fulfill the fantasy. Confusing enough?

[naughty A 23]

ok I may be off base but my understanding is that a lot of the homophobia has to do with the promiscuity and lack of discrimination of bi males - health risk.

 

My husband is another one of those extreme het's but no longer has the urge to punch someone's lights out when the subject arises. lol. now a simple - we're leaving signal is enough. He says its not the just the health risk - the idea is enough to gross him out.

 

I see a lot of polls that say bi-male fantasy etc is some high percentage but I don't think there are that many in the club scene anyway.

 

love that batter and catcher reference.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

The polls are coming out to just about what I figured they would. My predictions were just from observing the comments, some of which surprised me, from board contributors.

 

The people on this board represent a group of very open-minded breed of swingers. They seem much more mature, and less hedonistic or narcissistic as so many club attendees seem to be.

 

Thanks for the participation and great comments from everyone. At the least the results are entertaining.

[Brit_Pair 62]

The question has been asked elsewhere on these boards as to why women and men seem to be different when it comes to confronting and exploring their own (potential) bisexuality. Perhaps it owes something (even a great deal) to the issue of ego.

 

Is a woman’s self-image less threatened by the prospect of having (and enjoying) sex with another woman? Is that why we generally seem to find the idea of two women together easier to deal with than the idea of two men?

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Quote

Originally posted by Brit_Pair

The question has been asked elsewhere on these boards as to why women and men seem to be different when it comes to confronting and exploring their own (potential) bisexuality. Perhaps it owes something (even a great deal) to the issue of ego.

 

Is a woman’s self-image less threatened by the prospect of having (and enjoying) sex with another woman? Is that why we generally seem to find the idea of two women together easier to deal with than the idea of two men?

 

I wonder if it is ego. I think that if you polled people in general the results would be way different. Overwhelmingly the non-swinging oriented community would abhor even the thought of male bi-sexuality. This is pretty well documented. Considering this is an expression of strictly swingers, what do you think the implications are amongst strictly swingers?

 

I also wonder what the results would be at a real life as opposed to online swinging oriented community. My experiences have been that male bi-sexuality is VERY frowned upon at most clubs.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

I wonder if it is ego. I think that if you polled people in general the results would be way different. Overwhelmingly the non-swinging oriented community would abhor even the thought of male bi-sexuality. This is pretty well documented. Considering this is an expression of strictly swingers, what do you think the implications are amongst strictly swingers?

Fair point.

 

Consider this though. If a woman has sex with another woman, is her femininity (in her own mind) threatened in anyway? As a lay person and non-sexual psychologist, it doesn't seem so to me, generally speaking. But is the same true for the average man's feelings about his own masculinity, if he were to engage in either the fantasy or reality of having sex with another man?

 

Obviously, there are men out there who do not feel their masculinity is compromised in anyway by their homosexuality or bisexuality. But I'd guess that there are those out there who feel conflicted by their feelings of desire, and their need to preserve what they consider to be the stereotypical image of maleness. And - adding one more thought to the pyramid - perhaps those women who find the idea of two men together a turn-off do so because they also identify their partner's masculinity very closely to his sexual orientation.

 

Just idle musings.

[Flori_DAMAN 26]

Quote

Originally posted by Brit_Pair

And - adding one more thought to the pyramid - perhaps those women who find the idea of two men together a turn-off do so because they also identify their partner's masculinity very closely to his sexual orientation.

 

Just idle musings.

 

Gawd I love it when you talk like that! It arouses me.

 

I think that explains the "I want it but he won't go there" vote.

[a_couple_in_pa 15]

I think the main thing (in my non expert opinion) is that homosexuality is thought of as being feminine. Wether it be m-m or f-f. Men don't like to be thought of as feminine, so the whole concept is a problem. Whereas, woman are expected to be feminine, so f-f interaction makes them even more feminine.

[curious24 17]

Originally posted by a_couple_in_pa

I think the main thing (in my non expert opinion) is that homosexuality is thought of as being feminine. Wether it be m-m or f-f. Men don't like to be thought of as feminine, so the whole concept is a problem. Whereas, woman are expected to be feminine, so f-f interaction makes them even more feminine.

funny that's exactly what i was thinking.. just could never say as well as you did

[LadyCleo 16]

I get really turned on by the thought of another man giving my husband a BJ and the thought of watching my husband give one.

 

That being said, sometimes it's better for it to remain a figment of your imagination. We haven't done it yet and I don't know if we ever will.

 

Although, I have a dildo that can be inserted both ways. He put the base deep inside me and performed an oral show on the end that looks more penis shaped. NOW THAT WAS HOT! I can't wait for him to do it again! Every stroke I felt deep inside, every movement. I HIGHLY recommend trying that one!

[Mike and Jan 20]

Now i really don't feel that male/male interaction during a threesome, or even some male/male experimentation between friends is feminine at all. I think that swinging is a way of experiencing those sexual pleasures that just can't be achieved with just a couple. After years of exploring each other and all of the wonderful things two poeple in love can do sexually there comes a time when you just want more. So you consider adding another person or couple. In a FMF threesome if the 'other' lady was solely for 'his' pleasure I think the wife would feel a bit like she was being conned into simply allowing her hubby to get some some strange. And, if that turns her on then fine. But to also allow her to explore the woman adds the element of sharing this new experience together as a couple. I think the same should hold true for MFM threesomes. Plus there are some sensory things that would require M/M interaction in my fantasies. I'd want to watch my wife receiving the pleasure just like a lot of husbands. But, I'd want to watch very closely, touch, taste, and be part of that intercourse. And, I don't think I'd want to let any of those sexual juices go to waste either. And I'd also want to experience the feeling of hands, lips, and a tongue on us while we have our intercourse afterwards.

[velbuzz 17]

Interesting post about the m-m is feminime and is thus harder than a f-f emphasizing the femininity.

 

Makes me wonder...

 

With males XY and females XX one would think the XY would be more likely to be bi.

 

Good project for a grad student, don't you think.

[Bedmates 46]

Originally posted by a_couple_in_pa

I think the main thing (in my non expert opinion) is that homosexuality is thought of as being feminine. Wether it be m-m or f-f. Men don't like to be thought of as feminine, so the whole concept is a problem. Whereas, woman are expected to be feminine, so f-f interaction makes them even more feminine.

 

What an interesting position! I have to agree to your point about feminism. I think that it has to do with the macho part of the male. Getting "stabbed from behind" could register in the male mind as being submissive and not masculine. I think few "real" men would be able to let themselves go to enjoy the physical-only pleasure of it.

 

How do we feel? Well, she's against any type of male-male interaction. He would like to 69 with her to her orgasm while another man is in there, but that would necessitate some closeness and probably contact of some sort. He's not afraid, but she thinks she'd rather have a female do the licking since the thought of m-m contact in NOT considered a turn on in ANY form.

[Scott_n_Ann6877 15]

This is an interesting thread. Hope it is OK if I post from just my point of view here. I've given this one a great deal of thought. Back in college I hung out in a gay bar. I saw a lot of MM action and it was not as soft and feminine as it is with FF. From my point of view, when two women are kissing and cuddling, it is very feminine. It is not so much about the sex as the intimacy. What I saw with the men was harder. They were rougher kissers and the energy they gave off was about getting down to the deed. Maybe this is more my personal feelings being projected onto what I'm seeing.

 

After reading through this thread I thought about my current relationship and why I do not want to see him with another man. If he is soft and sensual with me, would he not be like this with another man? Probably so. But I just can't see that. I think I don't want to see that because that contradicts my definition of what masculine is all about. Thanks for pointing this out in this thread. It has helped me understand my thinking on this more. So if he is with a man and is all soft and sensual, that takes away from his masculinity. I guess that is what is going through my head. And I don't like that kind of thinking. So I have to work to change that thinking.

 

This has been an interesting thread. It has given me food for thought. Thanks for allowing me to help sort out my feelings and thoughts on this topic.

 

Ann

[WesternSwing 504]

Answering for my wife here... I have not really had the interest in going there, but we have discussed the "what if" scenarios and she is open minded to it. Basically she feels that if I wanted to try it than go ahead. She's a great woman.

[LIZA 20]

i find it erotic......glad to see more people agreeing with me, hopefuly that double standard is fading away FINALLY

 

My husband just isnt into it tho and i have to respect that

[crestviewcpl2 15]

IMHO people who are secure with their sexuality do not see a little playing as a threat. I'm so straight it isn't funny but if a girl touched me I'm not going to become Bi, its just attraction isn't there. I don't find females attractive sexually BUT being heterosexual I do find males VERY sexy and so I can understand a man wanting to play around with a man much more easily. I'm totally open to the guy thing from my side of it, mostly oral but not so much full all out sex plus I know its a lot different from what I have to offer and I feel absolutely no threat. With a girl, she's got what I got and I'm afraid the insecurity would be there that what she's got is better. I like the idea of bi males. thanks for the post.

[St. Augustine 20]

John

 

As always you do raise some very thought provocative questions. This is my 1st day back here in almost a year... been going through some rough times here, but things are straightening out now... so we're back to share and openly respond.

 

Well, all I can say to respond to this question is to share our first couple experience with all of you.

 

Last Saturday, Mike and I went to a Swing Club in Jacksonville.. is was an amazing experience. At the end of the party we decided to rent a room and spend the night there and join the party that happens after hours.

 

A really nice couple joined us in our room and I had my first experience with making love to and being made love to by a woman. Her husband wanted to play with Mike and he consented. As I had the pleasure of his wife going down on me, I watched as Mike gave her husband oral sex. Then watched as her husband gave Mike oral sex. I have to be really honest here and admit to all of you that it was a major turn-on for me to watch this as I was being pleasured. I had never thought that I would feel this way. There were no feelings of homosexuality there at all. This was all about sexual experiences you have secret thoughts and desires about and actually giving in to them.

 

It was a truly amazing night for both of us and our lovemaking has been pretty hot and intense since.

 

We had exchanged phone numbers with this couple and spoke to them last night and we are getting together at their house this next weekend. I have no idea what to expect from this evening, but Mike and I have talked it over and we have come up with signals, that if either of us are uncomfortable in any way to let the other person know.

 

Having actually experienced this, I can honestly say that there was nothing at all disgusting about it. It was just about a sensual experience we shared with each other and another couple. I will not hesitate to be involved in another couple experience again and Mike feels the same.

 

When we discussed joining the Lifestyle, Mike was very strong in stating that having sexual encounters with a woman for a 3some was fine, but he wasn't sure about couples or a 3some with another man. He no longer feels this way. He enjoyed the experience and is willing to experience it again.

 

Cathy

[St. Augustine 20]

One thing that people tend to equate with either homosexuality or bisexuality in males is that they like to have anal sex. Not true, it hurts us as much as a virgin girl.....

[ALilOEverything 901]

I didn't vote. I don't want to mark that I find it disgusting... I don't find it erotic either. It just doesn't do a thing for me but it wouldn't bother me. I put it up there with watching my parents kiss... doesn't turn me on but I'm glad they find enjoyment in it.

[newbie_emily 15]

I am new to this so forgive me if I am posting wrong.

 

First off, I agree that there is a double standard for bisexuality. Our socitey is almost fine with female bisexuality but male bisexuality is still very much taboo. Personally I would want my man to be bisexual. It is a fantasy of mine and I think he could experience so much more.

 

I also agree that two women together is very gentle and feminine and that two men just want to get to the deed. I think this just goes back to the differences between the two sexes and our attitudes toward sex. I mean think about it, two women kissing, and two men kissing. You would expect the two women to be very sensual and gentle. The two men you would expect it to be short, rough and just leading up to something else if it even happened. I am fine with these differences, its just who we are. For a guy, I would want him to be willing to try things like oral and things like jacking each other off, but I will admit, two guys kissing seems a little strange.

[Cheetah 84]

I love bi males. My husband is bi and a crossdresser. I get off watching him suck cock. In fact, I have fingered my pussy while watching several times.