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Similar Content
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By let's do it again
I haven't seen this addressed here, so I was wondering if anyone has been scammed or attempted to be scammed while swinging? Now we have had single guys lie about having a partner or one couple wanted me to loan them a sizable amount of money. So has any swingers tried to blackmail or scam you?
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By foozballnow
Hey everyone,
I know it has to have happened to some or most of you. You are in the middle of your full swap having your way with the other spouse when all of a sudden you or they realize the condom came off!
Knock on wood this has not happened to us yet. We would just like to know what everyone's course of action was after this happened? A friendly fishing expedition maybe?
Did you put a new one on and go at it? Or decide that it was a moot point by then...
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By Spoomonkey
This may be the most important thread for men in recent recorded history. In fact, it may be so important that I could be the first primate winner of the Noble Prize. Chances are, if you don’t find value in this thread you hate pie, cute babies and all the things that make our country great*
Here’s my theory about haunted houses. They really aren’t that scary. But, if you buy into them, they can be creepy as hell. Mrs Spoo and I love haunted houses because we know how to buy in, to really let ourselves be scared. And we always get our money’s worth!
You see, being scared is what the haunted house guys are trying to do, but I can spoil that simply by not letting myself get into it. Being scared, therefore, is not so much their job as it is mine. They are doing their part – and when I do mine, it is an amazing experience!
So – let’s apply that to sex.
Men – the good ones anyway – obsess about their equipment and/or ability to please a playmate. I know for me, I read as much stuff as I can, I work out, I try to make myself fun for the person I am lucky enough to be with (which is usually Mrs Spoo – and I consider that the greatest luck of all!) So – I will start with the assumption (which, admittedly, often doesn’t fit, but for most of the men around here, is probably workable) that the men are doing their part.
Where the theory comes in is with the women buying into the experience. I am quite sure that it is not me who gives a woman an orgasm as much as it is her who allows herself to have one. Women can certainly block the best efforts.
There are two keys to this (as I see it):
Chemistry, which is unpredictable and impossible to manipulate. It is either there, sometimes in the form of visible sparks, or it is not.
Comfort, which is just a positive rapport that two people have that makes each able to relax and enjoy a situation.
Both can increase the other, I think. Where there is chemistry there will be more comfort. Where there is comfort, chemistry can be found.
“Buying in” to the experience does not mean pretending you are enjoying lame sex. Not at all! There will always be lame experiences – mostly because I can’t make ever male read this, the most important thread in the history of the written word. But, for those of us who do read it, the questions are these:
What can a man do to help increase your comfort level?
What helps you relax in a situation and “buy in”?
That’s it! The answers to those questions – from women who are familiar with themselves and with what works, what doesn’t – are the Holy Grail that we men seek! It is not the dozens of penis enlargement spam we receive in our email every week. It is right here, in this thread. Your answers will raise this from the best board for swinging information on the net to the single greatest resource for mankind – a monolith of wisdom and evolutionary potential, ala 2001 – A Space Odyssey. Help us evolve, ladies. Help us help you
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By TakeAPicture
So my wife and I are both very excited about getting into the lifestyle, and our only real hang-up is genital herpes. We don't have it and really don't want it. We've read all the literature, understand the risks, and are well-versed in safer sex practices. I see a lot of posts on here about education and fears of contracting an STD through swinging...but have any of you or anyone you know actually contracted an STD through swinging? Not through random hook-ups but through organized activities with other responsible people? What were the circumstances under which this happened? Were safer-sex practices employed?
I guess I'm trying to run the numbers, and since about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have herpes, it seems like there's a pretty good chance you're going to encounter another couple who has it. Since it's estimated by the CDC that 90% of people with herpes don't even know they have it, you can't count on someone saying "I'm clean!" to really mean anything. They could either be lying, or simply not know. Since condoms only provide about a 50% risk-reduction, with drugs increasing that reduction to 75% and most transmissions are from asymptomatic people, why doesn't everybody have it?
I've been reading through this board, and I don't see any posts from people saying, "Oh crap, I got an STD from swinging last weekend!" It just seems like there would be more. Are there ones I'm just missing?
Thanks for any help you can offer.
Alex
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By sunbuckus
I have heard from several members here that the more they get to know a couple, the less they want to have sex with them. Maybe we just haven't been fortunate enough to get to know a couple that well that it reaches that point or maybe I'm not wired that way. Or perhaps there's something else in play (like maybe they meant in terms of seeing them pick their nose or exhibit an unbecoming personality trait). However, for myself, I have found that the more we talk and get to know a couple, the more comfortable I feel with them and I'm more interested in engaging with them in sex. In fact, finding more about other couples almost endears them to me. I know that sounds too intimate but the more I get to know a person, the more I care about them as a person and their well-being. Even if we witness something that is a turn-off, it's even more of a reminder to me that they aren't perfect...not some unattainable, flawless couple who sits on their lofty pedestal.
Is this feeling felt more in those who are open to poly or is it not poly-specific? Is the desire of not wanting to know too much about another couple a "protective barrier" so feelings won't develop? Is it just the mindset that swinging is for sex and nothing else so everything outside of that is irrelevant? Or am I just looking too much into this? Please share your thoughts on the matter!
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