Trying to conceive, should we still swing?

[mr_n_mrs_oz 15]

So here goes. My husband and I are swingers but currently we are trying to conceive and have been trying since November without an results. It is me not him, so therefore I am seeing a fertility specialist and am on fertility meds. We are really leery about swapping with a couple due to me not being on BC and can easily get pregnant (let's be honest we all know condoms break). I guess I am asking for opinions would you risk it and swap or would you only have sex with females (I am bi) or would you soft swap (everything but sex)?

[jdavisauto 73]

Sex with other women and soft swap would be find. If we was trying to have a baby then She would not go full swap and have intercourse with another man. Good luck to you both with your new child.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

do you really want to end up questioning the paternity of your child when you do get pregnant? I wouldn't want that worry. If it were me, I'd put swinging on hold till after you concieve so there are no questions. Then once you are pregnant that's one less thing to worry about.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We wouldn't risk it. As you point out, condoms can and do break.

[sweet_tna 680]

I wouldn't want to take that chance. But best of luck to ya'll with the fertility treatments.

 

=)

[Alura 2,775]

We simply quit playing altogether when we were trying to conceive. The fun is not worth the risk.

 

Mrs. Alura quit the pill but we went several months without conceiving. Our doctor told us to wait a couple of more months and if nothing happened, she'd start tests. The next month the test was positive. Patience is the key.

 

Mr. Alura

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I wouldn't even "soft swing" if I were you.

That way you remove the temptation to do more than that.

 

Why take the chance?

[jjtrindc 142]

The swinging lifestyle will be there once you've had your new baby. Be with your husband and get busy...lol Another thing to consider is that once you get pregnant, you probably will not be that interested in playing, which mean you'll have to say "good bye" to your new friends. I also agree that the risk just isn't worth it. Having a baby is one of the most special times in your life, why have any doubts?

[des1re06 200]

I wish you luck in your conception! Children are a joy and a privilege.

 

I'd have to put my baby and their health first. My sexuality can wait.

 

Mrs. D

[vegaskid 7]

If you still want to swing, go soft-swap, unless you don't care who knocks you up.

[onenastyday 15]

If you still want to swing, go soft-swap, unless you don't care who knocks you up.

 

I would recommend soft swap.

[mr_n_mrs_oz 15]

Which I do care who knocks me up lol I am married And we have been trying for over 9 months now and thank you guys for the kind words

[LFM2 1,482]

Yeah, I thought you answered your own questions pretty well. Reading all the answers just reaffirmed my thought.

[Chicup 42]

So here goes. My husband and I are swingers but currently we are trying to conceive and have been trying since November without an results. Its me not him, so therefore I am seeing a fertility specialist and am on fertility meds we are really eerie about swapping with a couple due to me not being on BC and can easily get pregnant (let's be honest we all know condoms break) I guess I am asking for opinions would you risk it and swap or would you only have sex with females (I am bi) or would you soft swap (everything but sex?)

 

Ok time for Chicup tough love.

 

This is perhaps one of the stupidest questions ever on this board.

 

Its monumentally stupid.

 

Its like a giant landfill of stupid, releasing stupid gas which needs to be lit lest the stupid leak out and consume us all in a miasma of stupidity.

 

What the hell are you even thinking about full swapping while on fertility drugs? Hello?

 

You know whats better than triplets? Triplets that are not your husbands.

 

I know I'm being an asshole but please use your head. Are you so consumed by the lust for swinging that your husband doesn't mind raising another mans child or two, or three?

 

Likewise will you tell your play partners that you may be 'ultra' fertile? I personally love kids but I don't want any to introduce themselves to me 20 years down the road when they figure out they are not really their fathers.

 

Don't even THINK of full swapping. In fact sit down and think about whats more important to you, random sex with strangers or having a normal happy family.

 

This just makes me angry.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Did I miss something or does common sense come in to play here anywhere?

 

[two42lovers 273]

People don't come to SB to be called degrading names or to be told that simply asking something means they have no sense. A woman cannot get pregnant from soft swap or same sex play. Why is the OP automatically stupid, why does sharing her concerns/situation/desires mean she has no sense?

 

For the record, we agree with not full swapping, but she and her husband could have a memorable way to concieve their child.

[rpu3 630]

People don't come to SB to be called degrading names or to be told that simply asking something means they have no sense. A woman cannot get pregnant from soft swap or same sex play. Why is the OP automatically stupid, why does sharing her concerns/situation/desires mean she has no sense?

 

I must have missed the degrading when reading the posts. I personally don't see one poster thinking an idea as stupid is the same as labeling someone as stupid. YMMV, obviously.

 

I thought people were responding very strongly to the thought of her actually swapping, which was one of her three options (with soft swap and bi being her other two options). By posting her request for opinions about what kind of activities she should participate in, she's opened herself to the fact that she will indeed get opinions - and obviously some strong ones. It's a tricky topic; I wouldn't expect any less of a response out of some of these posters.

 

Since she asked for opinions about risking it by having full blown intercourse versus bi or soft swap, my opinion is that if conceiving is the priority, leave the swinging out of it in order to not complicate things. No, I don't think it's a good idea at all to have intercourse. There are two other options out there if she still wants to swing. I personally wouldn't be doing anything if I were trying to get pregnant, because I just don't want the risk of any potential disease (STDs and the common cold and everything in between) while trying to conceive. If I wanted to be pregnant, then my health and my potential children comes first - and I don't need to add risk factors to that.

 

Good luck whatever your decision may be, Mrs. Oz.

[amid 91]

WE rode the fertility rollercoaster 10 years ago and it brought us a nice set of fraternal twins.. boy/girl. I would add that for the time, effort and money we devoted to fertility (5 years!) we would not want to risk impregnation by another during treatment. Play it safe and don't take a chance. On the other side of this.. we have 10 years and nine months of very frequent sex with no BC and no more pregnancies..