Is sending a "I had a great time" email ok?

[Taylor74 28]

I recently played with a fun, attractive couple and the night went well. Great conversation, etc. I was thinking about sending them an email through SLS stating that I had a blast. The problem is, is that I don't want to come off as too clingy, which I'm not. What do you think about this gesture?

[newmajor00 48]

You could write a well crafted certification on SLS, rather than email them directly.

[Taylor74 28]

We both talked about certs on the date. I personally feel they can be a bit tacky at times.

[newmajor00 48]

Give it a day or two, then send them a note. Say you had a great time, but be non committal about a follow on get together. Let them be the ones to suggest it (or not) in a reply back to you.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

We usually send an email the next day, and we keep it short and sweet, just a few lines long. When you get their reply, you'll often be able to gauge their enthusiasm, or lack thereof.

[sweet_tna 680]

Yes, we always appreciate emails like that, though we're usually the first to send 'em. I try to wait until later the next day (after everyone has had time to recover). Long as you keep it short n' sweet, like, "Hey, it was great meeting ya'll, I had a blast last night," you can't go wrong.

 

=)

[aster 20]

i'm new, so take this with a grain of salt....but i'd feel it would be more weird not to say "thanks" if you had a good time.

 

i would email (instead of calling), and wait a couple days. then send something short and sassy like "wow, thanks for the great night...hubby and i are still talking about it. hope to see you around again!"

 

I wouldn't say "hey can we meet next friday?" but i don't think it's clingy to say you hope to play with them again.

[slevin 1,374]

We always appreciate getting an email the next day from whoever we play with. We're always wondering how they felt and it's great to hear from them. We are often the first to send a message as we know that we like to hear from people. so we're not shy about sending a quick email or txt to say nothing more than we had a great time with them last night. A quick sentence or two.

 

If we want to play again we'll talk with them about that later on, unless we all agreed in person before we left that we all wanted to play again soon lol.

[jdavisauto 73]

If thing went very well to the point that e-mails was exchange then yes we would drop a short e-mail. If meet the couple or lady or single male on SLS then I would do a certification on SLS and see what happens from there.

[jjtrindc 142]

Reminds me of the scene from "Swingers" (how ironic) when they were talking about how long to wait until you call a girl (4 days). LOL. As for us, we simply send an email the next day conveying how we felt the night went. If we didn't click we send a very neutral note saying thanks but with no hint we want to see them again. If we did click, then we send a nice note. Short but sweet saying that we had a good time and hope to see them again. Figure there is not point in playing games. If they decide after one email we are too clingly or wanting then probably not someone we actually want to have a long term relationship with.

[rpu3 630]

I and we appreciate such e-mails, and it doesn't come off as clingy to me.

[LFM2 1,482]

Not only is it OK, we think it's totally appropriate! We love getting emails that say they've had a great time and we love to send them mutual emails as well. Kinda keeps harmony with the world.

[Taylor74 28]

Thank you everyone for your input (no pun intended). For the record, I'm a single male so there is a fine line between being enthusiastic and being considered clingy. LOL! I just wanted to make sure my gesture was ok.

[NakedInSeattle 159]

This kind of email is not only OK but really the right thing to do. If a couple "opens themselves" up to you, you should be thankful and say so.

[WeMayTryIt 120]

A short "I had a great time" email wouldn't inherently seem clingy to us. In fact, we would appreciate it, as we do the same thing when we've had a great time. The content and the tone of the message is what would or would not trip the "clingy" wire. Multiple messages without us sending a similar reply would be weird too. Sounds like you have your head on straight, and based on what I can tell from your posts, we'd love to get such a message from a someone like you, single or otherwise.

[PB&J 1,086]

I can't imagine NOT sending a short email to say thanks for a great night... just seems the right thing to do.

[Taylor74 28]

Well, I've learned my lesson. Said couple hasn't replied despite being online every night. Swinging can be truly bizarre at times.

[LFM2 1,482]

You're right... sometimes swinging is truly it's own world.

 

Don't feel bad, though. You have a clear conscience. You did good!!

[Taylor74 28]

Thanks.

[good times 991]

It is interesting to read all of the responses to this thread because, before reading this, I always thought that on this type of thing, my feelings were pretty much average. I guess I am not though because I have to say that I don't really care for the "thank you" emails, don't send them ourselves, don't really like receiving them.

 

If someone writes us saying something like, "had a great time with you guys last weekend, want to get together Friday night?", that isn't a problem. But when people just write us to thank us for playing with them, it just seems weird to me for some reason. Luckily, in the circle of people we gravitate to, this isn't to common or done very often.

[Taylor74 28]

I would think sending an email asking to meet again shortly after our initial meeting would be even more weird. I would assume by me saying "had a great time" would imply that contacting me in the future is ok. Oh, well. As I already said, this swinging thing is nuts.

[sweet_tna 680]

Well, I've learned my lesson. Said couple hasn't replied despite being online every night. Swinging can be truly bizarre at times.

 

Yes, it can. But don't assume that just 'cause they've been online means they've both seen your email. There are often times (like this week, for instance) where Mr. Sweet and I simply haven't had the time together to look at/discuss emails. And since we always reply together, it can take awhile.

 

If, however, you don't hear from them, shrug it off and move on. You know you did the courteous thing, which is all that could be asked.

 

=)

[Taylor74 28]

Yes, it can. But don't assume that just 'cause they've been online means they've both seen your email. There are often times (like this week, for instance) where Mr. Sweet and I simply haven't had the time together to look at/discuss emails. And since we always reply together, it can take awhile.

 

If, however, you don't hear from them, shrug it off and move on. You know you did the courteous thing, which is all that could be asked.

 

=)

 

I never really considered that. Thanks.

[WeMayTryIt 120]

I would think sending an email asking to meet again shortly after our initial meeting would be even more weird. I would assume by me saying "had a great time" would imply that contacting me in the future is ok. Oh, well. As I already said, this swinging thing is nuts.

Completely agree. It's a personal thing for each person, but for us, the potential for awkwardness rises exponentially if another play date is asked for until everyone knows that everyone's good. A simple "thanks, great time" message makes a graceful exit much easier.

 

It's easy to say, hard to do, but don't worry too much if they don't respond. Some things work for people, some things don't, and yes, swinging can be nuts. Aside from the point that sweet_tna brought up, for all you know, she loved it and he got freaked out afterward. That, or a million other possibilities, who knows. You'll drive yourself batty if you try to figure it out.

[Taylor74 28]

It's easy to say, hard to do, but don't worry too much if they don't respond. Some things work for people, some things don't, and yes, swinging can be nuts. Aside from the point that sweet_tna brought up, for all you know, she loved it and he got freaked out afterward. That, or a million other possibilities, who knows. You'll drive yourself batty if you try to figure it out.

 

 

Very true. Well, she kissed me right before we all parted ways for the evening. She was very sincere when doing it, too. She was a very attractive woman with a great personality. So, who knows... From my understanding, the male-half operates the SLS account.

[Taylor74 28]

Well, I can rest with ease knowing that I didn't leave on a bad note. Said couple finally responded to me with a great email. You guys/gals gave great advice. Where would us single men be without the this site? LOL!

 

Thanks again.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I don't see why you should be any different than a couple. Any time we meet a couple that we enjoyed spending time with we try to send them a Thank You email within a day or two to let them know that we had a great time, hope they did too and look forward to getting together again.

 

I would advise against saying anything about specific things that made the night great ("I loved it when she..." "she's so beautiful") those types of comments would come off just exactly as you are trying to avoid.

[JustMrJ 178]

I guess I'm clingy then... I respond to emails immediately if I can and send them when I get home from the parties.

 

I do keep them simple "I had a really great time and my wife also enjoyed your husband very much" or "We really enjoyed playing with everyone. Looking forward to the next one!".

 

If it was a play date, then It's a little more personal, but I don't mention WHEN we'd like to play again, just that we enjoyed it and would like to sometime.

 

Cheers!

[sweet_tna 680]

Well, I can rest with ease knowing that I didn't leave on a bad note. Said couple finally responded to me with a great email. You guys/gals gave great advice. Where would us single men be without the this site? LOL!

 

Thanks again.

 

Whoo-hoo! Glad you got an answer. It's always nice to hear back from playmates. (Can I say "I told you so" now . . . ? )

 

=)

[Taylor74 28]

Whoo-hoo! Glad you got an answer. It's always nice to hear back from playmates. (Can I say "I told you so" now . . . ? )

 

=)

 

Yes you can, dear.

[realcplub2 513]

I would take all the suggestions one step further..

 

IF we spent a great evening with a person, such as TAYLOR, and didnt get a note back it would be taken with a bit of offense.. the kind that MIGHT preclude another encounter..

[two42lovers 273]

IF we spent a great evening with a person, such as TAYLOR, and didnt get a note back it would be taken with a bit of offense..

 

We enjoy getting those "had a great time, looking forward to doing it again" emails after a play date - especially if it was a new-to-us single guy. Lets us know they had fun and are open to more. If we don't hear from someone, it almost invariably means we'll not be seeing them again anytime soon. Best bet is to send a note saying you had fun and are up for more when the time is right.

 

It's a fine line for solo guys playing with couples, with pitfalls on both sides. If the guy doesn't send a note, we figure they are pretty-much gonna be "once and gone". If they send an email suggesting another specific play date, we consider it overly eager and a bit pushy. Not that we'd cut them off - but we'd reign them in by saying we'll let them know when we're open (and of course then they can let us know if they are free.)

[Taylor74 28]

I would take all the suggestions one step further..

 

IF we spent a great evening with a person, such as TAYLOR, and didnt get a note back it would be taken with a bit of offense.. the kind that MIGHT preclude another encounter..

 

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

When we've had a good time with a couple or single playmate, we usually send a thank you email. If the person went out of their way to do something to make it special or especially good, we make a point of complimenting that. We also appreciate it when we receive a thank-you from playmates, but we know not everyone does that.

 

Thank you emails are like everything else in swinging: Just do what you're comfortable doing.