This Thread is Useless without Pictures. Help the men out!

[Chicup 41]

OK ladies I need your help.

 

This, as a subject has come up before, as clueless men asked this age old question, but still it wasn't good enough to really work out the details.

 

Let me set this up....

 

After taking a two year break from looking for new couples (we still have our long standing friends) we are getting back into 'swinging shape' and will be doing the add thing again soon.

 

The problem....

 

Prior to our last break for family reasons (aka having one) I had someone who I got along with on the board take a look at our profile for a critique. She was not impressed with my pictures. No it wasn't the manly physique, the strong features, the intelligent stare she found fault with, it was the clothes.

 

I am of the subset of men who think khaki pants and a polo shirt is all a man needs in life. From what I understand in Europe I would stand out as 'American' this look is so stereotypical. You could venture to say it is a 'native garb'. Maybe 500 years from now, men will dress in khakis and polo shirts as part of some future ritual honoring the past. The problem is right now, apparently, this does nothing for the attraction of the opposite sex.

 

So you are at a swinger club, its early so everyone still has their clothes on, you are stalking your .... I mean you are looking for compatible couples and THIS guy catches your eye, what would he be wearing?

 

No don't tell me, show me. I'm 100% male, I have the fashion sense of a Neanderthal, you could explain it in great detail, but I need pictures to figure it out.

 

If you need help finding images, google image search can help.

 

Please, you know you want to help men dress better at the clubs, this is your chance to make a difference!

[knb2004 364]

I have forwarded your request to Mrs. knb. I have the fashion sense of a blind Neanderthal. She, on the other hand, can turn even the biggest dweeb into a fashion god.

[knb2004 364]

here are a few sites that might help you out with the clothing

 

Hot Bodz Clothing Company

 

OBOY! ™ exclusive fashion 4 MEN!

 

I also suggest looking at any fashion magazines also catalogs that you may get in the mail (e.g. Macy's) to get an idea of what is in style.

MrsKnB

[mmm_yaya 15]

I can only hope MrsKnB is joking when she posted the above sites. Unless you're under 25 with about 6% bodyfat, you'd look like a moron in any of the clothes on those sites. I.e. trying waaaaay too hard.

 

Try looking at ASK ANDY ABOUT CLOTHES or Style Forum - Discussion of Men's Clothing, Streetwear, Denim, Health, & Lifestyle . The former site is for older folks, the latter is for younger folks (hence, more BS to sift through).

[slevin 1,374]

Where do you live? I only ask to see if there is a good mens store nearby that I can recommend to you. I am also pretty bad at the fashion sense and what I have done is to go to a high end mens clothing store here in my city and found a guy around my age working there who has a talent for picking out clothes that fit my style, personality and body type. I walk in and tell him what kind of occasion I am looking for (formal, summer, casual, club, beach) and let him pull out what he thinks would look good. I still pick from those things the pieces/outfits that I like the most, but it has transformed my style dramatically.

 

It's kind of an expensive store though so I don't always buy directly from him. I often take the idea that he picks out and then go look for a similar shirt/pant or whatever from a cheaper mens store. I do try to buy what I can afford from him, but when I can't I will look for similar pieces elsewhere.

 

For guys who struggle with fashion that is the greatest, and most immediately impactful, advice that I can give. It's worked wonders for me. No pics though so maybe this is worthless! lol

[Jeepgurly 38]

I like dark jeans and a white button down shirt, buttoned up except for the top 2 buttons. Not fully tucked in maybe just the front to show off your belt. Think thats a nice look thats casual, sexy and not trying too hard.

 

Don't know if you ever watch Bravo's Date my ex, if you have or can, anything at all that Slade wears on that show is fabulous Here's a link to his myspace, theres a slide show of him (even a pic of a button down white shirt with jeans outfit)

 

Even love a baseball cap and t-shirt on an attractive man. Says you're just confident and can look naturally sexy and not too posy for pics. Wouldn't suggest it for a date but for a pic or 2 I definitely think sexy men can look even sexier with a ball cap.

 

Oh wanted to mention H&M, they have awesome clothes for men and women. Not your khaki and polo kinda store for sure.

[ncmd_couple 597]

I let my wife pick my clothes! Seriously, she greatly enjoys buying me clothes. I get lots of compliments about my clothing since I let my wife do what she wishes with my clothes.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Without seeing you in person, watching how you move, and express yourself, I couldn't advise you in any meaningful way.

 

I have been attracted to many man, based on how they dressed, and they all dressed very differently. You couldn't have them put the other guys clothes on with the same WOW! results. These men knew the "look" they could carry well.

 

That's what you need to discover, Chicup. If your wife can't give you direction, ask your playmates who know you well. Have a let's-shop-for-Chicup party and you can be the center of attention, trying things and modeling for your friends - maybe get some dressing room action in while you're at it.

 

Some guys fit the khaki pants and polo shirt standard, maybe it's not exciting to gaze at but it can do the trick. If you want to go outside your usual style zone, go shopping with friends and listen to their suggestions. Sometimes it may be as simple as wearing a new color, or going monochromatic (all black) instead of light pants and red top. Small changes can make a big difference. You might look good wearing a hat, or a piece of understated jewelry.

 

Once you give some new attire a try at the club and get the response you're looking for, you'll know you made a good choice.

 

Have fun shopping!

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

You want to be a snappy dresser, then it's time for that GQ and Men's Vogue subscription!

[jdavisauto 73]

I need to get the lady half on for this one. Regular pants and a shirt. My biggest question on clothes is "with or without holes"?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

To thine own self be true.

[jjtrindc 142]

I think Biloxi Couple is spot on. You can wear the latest styles, etc, but if you are uncomfortable then it's all for not. Style is as much about attitude and how you carry yourself. Same shirt on me may look really terrible on the next guy, and vice versa.

 

That being said, I do try to keep up with what is "hot", if only out of curiosity. Pick up a copy of Details, Esquire, GQ (the last two actually have pretty good journalism). Flip through them, but only for guidance. For us regular folks the prices of the clothes are simply outrageous. But you can find similar looking items for reasonable cost.

 

What I like about these magazines is they provide some basic style guidance. For instance, what color or cut of suit or shirt will be more flattering. Once I jumped from pleated to flat front pants, for example, I really did look much slimmer.

 

Some of the places folks referenced above are good. Also check out the "See Jack Shop" website. Some good blogs include "In Her Eyes" from the Men's Vogue website. Also check out men.style.com, Daniel Billett on About.com, and Dethroner.com

 

And, from my wife, she gives you two thumbs up for caring about how you dress. We've noticed a couple of clubs recently where the women go all out and many guys seem to barely put in any effort at all. Good luck!

[Thrax 384]

jdavisauto said:

I need to get the lady half on for this one. Regular pants and a shirt. My biggest question on clothes is "with or without holes"?

For most men here are the hole/no-hole clothing choices:

 

Without holes: a kilt, toga, loincloth, or kikepa.

With holes: Most others (otherwise, how would you get your legs and arms through the garment?)

 

(Yeah, I know what you meant...I just need to be a smart-ass)

[JustMrJ 178]

I usually wear nice dress slacks and a Hawaiian shirt or other casual shirt similar to this dragon shirt and dress shoes. It's the look I can carry. I love wearing a suit, but it's usually just too much. I NEVER go to a house party or play date in jeans and T-shirt.

 

Hope that helps... Cheers!

[RANDJ4FUN 15]

Does this mean that my bright yellow Wolverine T-shirt and bright red spandex coaches shorts aren't classy enuff??

[Chicup 41]

Ok this thread has had a good start but lets focus it a bit.

 

Women have lamented about the quality of how men look at the clubs for quite a while here, about how poorly they dress, and how its normally a wife that's dressed to kill and a husband that's dressed to surf...the web.

 

Based on some of the links provided let me show you what you all have picked out so far.

 

Ladies, some specific examples of what you think is good on a man could be most helpful.

 

Don't think about helping me, Mr. Chicup, think about what YOU think looks good on an average man, and post it. What works for the swinging crowd for you. Yes styles and taste will vary, but we, the clueless males of swinging, need straight forward input on what YOU the women of swinging like to see.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Chicup said:

I am of the subset of men who think khaki pants and a polo shirt is all a man needs in life.

 

Wait. Are you saying there are more options? I don't HAVE to shop at the Ralph Lauren, Nautica, and Izod outlets?

 

The Mrs tries to dress me in different things, but I am forever stuck on the classics. If it's not a polo and khakis, then it must be an oxford shirt in a traditional color and cloth. Almost always with a tie, and NEVER an oxford with short sleeves (The oxford/tie combo is not for club night!).

 

I've tried the expressive colors and cuts, but, it just isn't me. I don't have the skin tone to pull off the bright colors, nor the inclination to wear a shirt with flames in the pattern.

 

Good luck with the wardrobe change Chicup. If you can make it happen, then you've created a little hope for the rest of us.

[JustMrJ 178]

So, I guess I'm off the hook or I've been completely ignored... not sure which...

 

Good luck Chicup!

[Chicup 41]

So, I guess I'm off the hook or I've been completely ignored... not sure which...

 

Good luck Chicup!

 

Actually I just didn't get to you.

 

You are a male, you don't really count in this. Sure you think the dragon shirt is all that, and maybe it is, but I thought my look was good too

[slevin 1,374]

1. Don't be afraid to go into those high end brick and mortar stores, get some advice then go look at more reasonably priced stores to find the same things.

 

2. There is a huge difference between a $50 mens shirt and a $150 mens shirt. On a higher end mens shirt, mens suits or mens pants the quality of the fabric, the quality of the construction and the quality of the cut are all vastly superior. I will wear a shirt from the Gap then a shirt from someone like Hugo Boss (which is the low end of high end mens clothing) and immediately get compliments on the Hugo Boss stuff from men and women. I also find women love to touch and feel the Hugo Boss stuff (as well as my other higher end clothes) and that is something they don't do with lower end stuff.

 

Regardless of what kind of clothes you get, make they that you get them altered to fit you perfectly. Find a good tailor and have them take things in or let them out where needed (not just length and waist on pants). It is amazing what a good tailor can do with clothes to make them fit you perfectly.

 

Another option is made to measure clothes. It's surprisingly not too much more than a high end shirt/pant, but is generally something that is more focused on suit style clothes so for party clothes may not be the right thing. But you can check with those high end stores to see if they do casual clothes too.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

I don't think there's anything wrong with khakis. You may just need to "hip" it up. Wear flat front pants instead of pleated ones, or get shirts with a more modern cut and color, or get a new haircut or new glasses (if you wear them). It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and 10 years go by and you're still wearing the same styles. Let your wife pick out some shirts that are a style or a color that you wouldn't normally wear. You may discover you like it. I buy most of Drew's clothes, and at first, he wanted his pleated pants and his brown or green shirts. Now he wears colors and has even conceded that the flat fronts are more flattering.

 

The trick is to still be you, but updated.

 

Pepper

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

If all else fails this works for the Mr. :

 

New Black Jeans - almost any good brand will do, not the Walmart "special" though.

 

Nice leather shoes - plan to spend about $120 on shoes.

 

Nice shirt - an $80 stylish button-up shirt - the Mr. buys a lot of shirts from Macy's.

[mrs good times 73]

Chicup,

 

I think Pepper has done a fantastic job, but I will add one thing - SOFT. I love to touch a man in a silk shirt.

 

Avoid the 100% (stiff as hell) cotton, or the scratchy raised prints.

[jjtrindc 142]

I don't usually "double dip" on forums after I've said my piece, but wanted to second the comments from Pepper & Dew. Their comments are spot on!!

 

As part of my journey to update my look (I too was stuck in the tan pleated khaki/blue shirt rut), I went to a hair salon vs. my usual shop where they yank out the clippers. They actually asked me questions about what I was looking for and we talked about what would work for me given my face shape, etc. As a bonus they have pretty little gals who give you a neck massage after they wash your hair. It's also important for me to have something that works for going out, but can also be toned down for work. I'm also very aware that as I'm in my late 30's I can't have the same cut as the 20-somethings without looking a bit foolish.

 

Same with glasses. I don't wear them all the time (though that's changing lol). I got lucky with a new optometrist who pushed me more into square/rectangular shaped frames vs the round ones I've had for years. They really did change my "look".

 

As for clothes, just changing the cut can make a huge different. Scrap the button downs. Go for "modern cut" or "slim cut" shirts. Swap out the pleats for flat fronts on your pants. Stick with classic shoes.

 

I'd wear pretty much anything P&D linked to. As for other options, try Kenneth Cole (they have great sales), Claiborne for men, Express, H&M (they trend young but worth checking out), Banana Republic, Tommy Hilfinger & J Crew (I like their pants, but find the tops to preppy), and Michael Kors.

 

A funny anecdote, when I first was trying to update my look I thought back to the episode of Seinfeld where George said he was just going to do everything exactly opposite what his first instinct was. That was my attitude toward picking clothes. Sure I broke a few eggs, but it helped get me out of my rut.

[Chicup 41]

Ok good good, now we are getting somewhere.

 

The feeling I'm getting from the female crowd is that fitted long sleeve shirts (no pocket), not tucked in, with flat front pants are where its "at" currently?

 

Another subset would be shoes. I think I'm even worse here. I own a couple of pairs of shoes which I wear until they are closer to moccasins than shoes. So whats the recommendation there?

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Chicup said:

Ok good good, now we are getting somewhere, P&D great links.

 

The feeling I'm getting from the female crowd is that fitted long sleeve shirts (no pocket), not tucked in, with flat front pants are where its "at" currently?

 

Another subset would be shoes. I think I'm even worse here. I own a couple of pairs of shoes which I wear until they are closer to moccasins than shoes. So whats the recommendation there?

 

Si, senor..that's the latest style. Also, the cut of the shirt makes a difference. You'll notice that the newer, more stylish shirts are a narrower cut. The athletic cut tapers to highlight broad shoulders and a narrow waist. So, if you've been doing your crunches and bench presses, it's very flattering. You'll look like you've kept up with the latest, but not like you're trying too hard or going through a mid-life crisis.

 

As for shoes, I love men's shoes. Think sleek.

 

If you can't tell, I'm kinda into shopping.

 

Pepper

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Chicup said:

Another subset would be shoes. I think I'm even worse here. I own a couple of pairs of shoes which I wear until they are closer to moccasins than shoes. So whats the recommendation there?

 

 

Mephisto shoes are super comfortable, stylish, but pricey. They're great if you're at a party and are going to be standing up or dancing for a long time.

 

Men's Shoes by Mephisto Online Store

[des1re06 200]

Looks that turn me on:

 

Linen pants - roomy, comfortable and touchable

 

Silk blend shirts - touchable!

 

The "original" comfort-wear Tommy Bahama:

http://www.tommybahama.com/TBG/Men/Shirts/Camp_Shirts.jsp?showAll=1&gclid=CPOl0tD7npUCFQJvswodq0X_kg

 

Then there's "fly" clothing, for a little more edgy:

 

Flyclothing.com

One of my favorite places for "silky" shirts.

 

Good luck!

 

Mrs. D

[PB&J 1,086]

Shoes are VERY important!! As I keep telling the husband when he tries to wear his runners when meeting people. My basic male shoe rule is, LEATHER!! For summer, deck shoes can be nice, esp. since they slip off fast when necessary. Usually I'd say sandals are a no-no, because the male toe is rarely a thing of beauty. For fall/winter, he's got a nice pair of classic black shoes that never look out of place. But he does keep looking longingly at his runners and talking about comfort- as I totter about on my spike-heeled boots.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I personally don't see anything wrong with khaki's and a polo shirt. I find my man quite sexy in just that... but at the same time, it's not what I want to see him in when we go to the club. A nice button down and slacks or jeans works very well.

 

The only clothing that would turn me off at a club is ratty jeans and a tshirt... which unfortunately we see too much of at our local socials.

[JustMrJ 178]

When I go to either a house/hotel party or play date or even just out with my wife for a nice dinner I always wear either a long sleeved collared shirt, or my 'dragon' shirt or something similar like some of my Hawaiian shirts and nice dress slacks and dress shoes.

 

I refuse to wear jeans or even Dickies or similar... and definitely stay away from worn clothing such that I would wear to work on the car or in the garage.

 

I just feel better when I'm better dressed... go figure...

[Chicup 41]

Guess who's going shopping tonight, a year later than posted.

 

Interestingly I need 'sexy casual' not club wear though. Something I'll look good in outside but functional and comfortable for a picture day.

 

Based on what I've seen on SLS this thread needs a good bump

 

So if anyone has any casual but looks good advice, now is the time

[xxxboxy 139]

I feel for you brother...fashion is not something that I've ever paid any attention to, even when I'm in peak shape the trendy stuff just isn't made to fit my form. In my bachelor days I used to have a lot of stuff tailored to fit but the days of even feeling right about spending that kind of money on clothes is long gone.