Don't just grab me! For the ladies and Men

[jdavisauto 73]

Ok here the setting. You at the swingers club with your husband, he's talking to a friend and then some guy comes up behind you and grabs you and starts rubbing your body. You try to move away but he just will not let go of you. Has this happen to you and if so how did you take care of it?

 

This happen to me and the guy just would not let go of me. I hollow for my husband to help because this guy just would not let go of me. My male half came up and grab his neck in a pressure hold and took him down to his knees and then pick him up and took him out of the room into the lobby for the security staff to get rid of him. (My male half was a martial arts instructor before he got sick and he knows al the holds).

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Y'know - as soon as you say "stop" or ask to be "let go" and they don't - that pretty much means it's open season to throw that person OUT of the party by whatever means necessary.

 

You shouldn't have to even wait for the boyfriend / husband to do it - if anyone witnesses something like this... step up and stop it from happening.

 

I may just be a layman to the terms - but I believe that uninvited "grabbing" like you describe is borderline "sexual assault" -- and that's not a good thing

[bbarnsworth 2,643]

No means no. If a person is unwilling to accept that, they need to be gone from the lifestyle. End of discussion.

 

Continuing past no/stop isn't borderline sexual assault. It is sexual assault. Of course, trying to get a conviction much less an arrest is probably impossible, given the scenario. Therefore, the best way to handle it is to have the on site security toss the person in question out...permanently!

 

People that behave in this way destroy what the community builds. It's like building a sand castle and having the local beach idiot tromp right through the middle of it.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

jdavisauto said:

You at the swingers club with your husband, he's talking to a friend and then some guy comes up behind you and grabs you and starts rubbing your body. You try to move away but he just will not let go of you. Has this happen to you and if so how did you take care of it?

You have to do more than just "try to move away." Things like this will happen at a club so be prepared for it. I feel woman can/should be able to handle these situations themselves. Rarely should your husband have to step in.

 

I have had men I've never met walk by me and grab my ass and I don't like it. I look to see who has coped a feel and when I see they are a stranger I give them a look that let's them know I wasn't pleased. If any man would stand there and continue to try to touch me when I didn't want it, I'd look them in the eyes and loudly say "STOP TOUCHING ME, GO AWAY." I wouldn't turn away from him until he walked away. I'd stand my ground to make sure he got the message. If he pursued I'd walk away to the security person or owner and report the guy and let them handle him from there.

 

Using physical force on someone should be avoided at all costs. Think of it this way, with just you and this guy there may be people 6 feet around you who will notice (and hear) what is happening. When your husband came in and got physical, people 50 feet away would then notice something happening and it would look like your husband is the ass. How is anyone to know what happened that preceded your husband's physical actions towards this man? Your husband may appear to be the bad guy and that's not doing you any favors. In the eyes of the club crowd you may have just placed yourselves on their "no way - stay away" list.

 

Regarding bbarnsworth's comment: Talk of sexual assault and "getting a conviction" is silly. A swingers club is a highly sexually charged environment where people often drink too much.

 

People pushing themselves on you at a club can happen. Be prepared for it and handle it without drama and you'll be better off.

[jjtrindc 142]

It's unfortunate that this happened, but it is not the norm. My wife has been treated with the utmost respect at on-premise clubs and places like Desire. Interestingly, it's when we go to the "off-premise" club where there are less experienced couples or even a vanilla dance club where she has issues of getting groped.

 

We all have different takes on how the situation was handled, but do know that what he did was completely wrong. I would add that in the lifestyle or just in life, I encourage my wife to be a strong individual and not to take crap from anyone. She can be a bit of a passive personality and is reluctant to call someone out...but more and more she realizes that standing up for herself means that people will not take advantage of her.

[bbarnsworth 2,643]

LikeMinds321 said:

Regarding bbarnsworth's comment: Talk of sexual assault and "getting a conviction" is silly. A swingers club is a highly sexually charged environment where people often drink too much.

 

I know it's silly, which is why I caveated it the way I did. I'm just noting that it isn't "maybe" sexual assault. If you unequivocally tell a person to stop grabbing you, and they continue to sexually grab you, it's sexual assault. There isn't any maybe about it. That doesn't mean the husband should come up and beat the living daylights out of the person assaulting his wife. But, it should be treated in a firm manner to make it stop if words are not enough, ala going to the security or club management. Treat it seriously.

 

If this person was willing to do this to you, they're willing to do it to someone else. That kind of person can ruin things for everyone, and needs to be gone. I don't care what someone does with my wife so long as she consents. I do care greatly if someone does something after my wife has clearly spoken she wants it to stop. I would never physically assault someone, but I will take action as needed to stop the situation.

[two42lovers 273]

Very, very creepy... maybe this kind of crap is something we've managed to avoid by sticking with more intimate settings? We tend towards private parties where everyone is a known quantity, or at least they have explicity agreed to the Ask First rule as a condition of being invited.

 

We think the whole premise about him stopping when you said stop is wrong. He should never have touched you at all until he asked and you said yes. Ask First is the Golden Rule of swinging. If you have to say "stop" they've already crossed the line.

 

Totally agree about the big down-side to getting confrontational. Naturally when the guy didn't listen, you got louder telling him to stop - bringing on your husband's intervention (as it should.) But maybe if your hubby gave you a little more time to stand up to the creep and stare him away, it might have worked, and been the end of it?

 

The best bet is to go to the host or bouncer, and ask them to deal with it, but how do you do that if you can't get away? If your husband saw what was going on he could step between you and the creep (but not lay a hand or even raise his voice) and walk away with you. It would be pretty hard to do...

 

Who knows, maybe the guy will be assinine enough to follow you to somewhere more private...

[jdavisauto 73]

What my lady half didn't tell you was that this guy had both arms around her and she was borderline on screaming at him to let her go. I along with 3 of the security and a few other guys heard her and was going to help her. I just got there first and I just reacted. The great security staff was right there to stop things from getting out of hand they escorted the intoxicated man from the club. In our 9 years of swinging, this was the first time anything like this has happen.

[sweet_tna 680]

I'm sorry this happened. I have to admit my advice would have been very similar to LM's, had I not read the additional information from the Mr. In this case, I'm glad to know security was aware of the incident and helped you to remove him.

 

While I sincerely hope that this never, ever happens again, one trick I've learned is that if your hands are not free and someone's bothering you (assuming you've told him no already), then stomp on his instep. If you have heels, it can be very effective, and less likely to result in an altercation.

[SEXYCUBANCOUPLE 7]

Yes, this has happened to me as well at our swingers club...I normally call security.

[Opportunists 17]

We have a few regulars at our club that like to 'cop a feel'... nothing on the level that the original poster had, but still enough to make her feel uncomfortable.

 

One of these guys is the nicest guy, just gets all goofy sometimes in that environment. She has basically told him that it's not going to fly with her and he doesn't really grab at her any more.

 

The challenge that she has... as I see it... is that there are some guys that she doesn't mind rubbing on her, and others that she does. But, she manages to handle the boys in her own way so that they all seem to walk away smiling... which probably wouldn't happen if I had to get involved.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It's been a LONG time since anyone has tried anything like that with me. I don't just move away, I turn around and give them "the hand" and a dirty look and make sure they get the message to stop.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

Fortunately, this isn't an issue for us. The only people who grab us are those with whom we already have a close relationship, so we don't mind it from them. We can't recall a stranger ever approaching us this way.

[HotMoCpl 20]

Even if you were not my significant other, they would have had to call an ambulance for him. I'm no martial arts instructor but I did over 22 years in the Army. Oh yeah, and I slept at a Holiday Inn the night before.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

This has only happened to me at vanilla bars! I've had my butt manhandled, my tits pinched, guys try to grab around my waist to pick me up and take me "somewhere," guys grab my face or head to try to make out with me....not all at the same time of course.

 

If I can physically get away, I will usually tell him in a stern, loud voice that xyz is NOT acceptable, then tell every staff member and manager what happened (in case he's doing this to other women too). If the guy has a hold on me, I will yell "LET GO OF ME, I DON'T KNOW YOU" repeatedly while trying to get away. Once I'm free, I'd go talk to the staff/ security. I used to wrestle in high school (boys' team), so I can usually slip out of the drunken holds.

 

Speed has never had to step in -- good cause he's waaaaaay more lover than fighter. Besides, he needs to save that energy for playtime!

[HappyCpl 89]

Mrs. H and I were at the club with a younger couple a few weeks ago, and the young woman got cornered by a long-time member of this club and groped. She tried to get away from him, and finally did, but not before the groper nearly ruined her evening. We didn't find out about this until the drive home.... hours later. Talking to her the next day we reminded her that 'no means no' and she was surrounded by people(members, security, friends)who would have taken care of things for her..IF she had only told someone. We talked extensively about 'code-of-conduct' beforehand, but I guess she was afraid to say anything right then..

 

Said groper grabbed the wrong woman later in the evening, though, and was finally ejected from the premises. Weird, the guy's been going to this club for a long time, and(from people who know him much better than I)from most accounts, is a decent dude...

 

NO MEANS NO, YOU TOOLS!!!! There is no more sure buzzkill/mood killer than seeing someone get the " bum's rush" while trying to be Mr./Mrs. Smoooooooooth...

[tscpl 93]

This has never happened to us but it can no doubt be very frightening at the time it occurs.Going to the assistance of ones wife is very instinctive but it would be very helpful if the assistance of Security could be enlisted asap by other members present on the scene.This could prevent serious injury.

[dumbasarock10 49]

Wow, I didn't realize there were that many ballsy people in the system like that. I'm too skiddish to grab anyone with out almost written consent. Even with people I've known and played with for years, they just may be in no mood to be touched that day. And it would be the day that I think it'd be funny to pinch a cheek, and then get a tooth knocked out. I'm sorry that situation ever presented it's self to you guys, but I think given the circumstances I don't know how else it could have gone down. Excuse the pun. I hope it's the last of it's kind for you.

[lovinher 505]

As far as I'm concerned your husband did exactly the right thing and I would have done the same considering the circumstances. Outside of a club he could have been charged with assault and I may have been too when I was done with him.

[sexylady1970 69]

As a humorous side note to this thread. We were at one of our regular clubs a few weeks ago. We were not planning on playing that night, just there to drink dance and have a good time with friends.

 

There is a gal there who from behind looks exactly like mrs sexy. Hair color, height, body shape etc. In fact that night they were wearing similar dresses. Admittedly, I had probably one too many and was feeling no pain but in complete control. Innocently I came up behind her and rubbed her butt. I was mortified when she turned around and I said OMG, I thought you were mrs sexy. I'm so sorry!

 

She said to me "that's a compliments since she looks hot tonight" Perhaps someone else would not have been so cordial, but I guess it was innocent enough and not intentional. We all had a good laugh about it afterwards though.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I've never had anyone grab me but I did have this man (60+ at least) kiss me on the arm when I had it stretched over a doorway. I made the mistake of saying "please don't" while shaking my head instead of "no" and he continued to do it. Fortunately security witnessed it and he was escorted out. That definitely gave me the creeps.

[it'sso 198]

It appears this board has changed it's attitude in regards to one feeling the need to physically restrain an offender when in a club. I was looking for the usual "reputation" citations, and see none. Oh well, it's nice to see that ol It'sso isn't the only one who might feel the need to "overreact".

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

it said:

It appears this board has changed it's attitude in regards to one feeling the need to physically restrain an offender when in a club. I was looking for the usual "reputation" citations' date=' and see none. Oh well, it;s nice to see that ol It'sso isn't the only one who might feel the need to "overreact".

 

Not sure what you mean on "reputation citations". You can leave a reputation on any post using the reputation button found underneath the username next to the post. It looks like a little (justice) scale.

 

As for feeling the need to get physical when someone oversteps their bounds, I think it depends a lot on how far over the bounds they've stepped and if they've already been warned. I don't know if it was in this thread or another one where BiloxiCouple said it best (IMO) if you make a scene when there's no need you are just pointing out to the rest of the party that there are two potential problems at the party (the person over-stepping the boundaries and the person who doesn't know how to properly deal with issues in public).

[lovinher 505]

The guy would not let go after being told to do so. If it gets to the point where my wife has to yell for help then what other people think at the club, or here for that matter, means nothing to me.

[dlflorida 52]

We were at an OP club last Sat. night. We had been talking to a couple for a couple of visits. The man was obviously attracted to my wife and she to him (but then who isn't!) but I didn't feel a connection to his partner as she was a smoker - deal breaker. He came up from behind my wife and grabbed her around the waist. He asked her if she was "ready to go back" to the private rooms. While she felt complimented on his advance, she knew how I felt about his partner so she politely declined. She doesn't like to hurt peoples' feelings but it was what it was.

 

It was an awkward situation to say the least.

[magnum 78]

jdavisauto said:

Ok here the setting. You at the swingers club with your husband, he's talking to a friend and then some guy comes up behind you and grabs you and starts rubbing your body. You try to move away but he just will not let go of you. Has this happen to you and if so how did you take care of it?

 

This happen to me and the guy just would not let go of me. I hollow for my husband to help because this guy just would not let go of me. My male half came up and grab his neck in a pressure hold and took him down to his knees and then pick him up and took him out of the room into the lobby for the security staff to get rid of him. (My male half was a martial arts instructor before he got sick and he knows al the holds).

 

I would say that you and your husband did the right thing and handled it correctly. These types guys need to know that some behavior is not acceptable.

 

Cheers

[Rackir 159]

magnum said:

I would say that you and your husband did the right thing and handled it correctly. These types guys need to know that some behavior is not acceptable.

Cheers

 

Yup. Some things transcend etiquette, and holding my wife after she says unequivocally "no" is on the top of that list.

[Sunswept 161]

We were at an OP club last Sat. night. We had been talking to a couple for a couple of visits. The man was obviously attracted to my wife and she to him (but then who isn't!) but I didn't feel a connection to his partner as she was a smoker - deal breaker. He came up from behind my wife and grabbed her around the waist. He asked her if she was "ready to go back" to the private rooms. While she felt complimented on his advance, she knew how I felt about his partner so she politely declined. She doesn't like to hurt peoples' feelings but it was what it was.

 

It was an awkward situation to say the least.

 

Maybe it's just me, but it seems to me like there are a few more people that claim to be "in the lifestyle" who's sense of entitlement seems to exceed their common sense or ability to maintain respect than there use to be.

 

That said, by far most swingers are not that way, but the clueless sure can throw a pall over things. It is possible to politely and firmly let someone know they have crossed the line without creating a scene. If they can't take a hint, take it up with management or the host, but don't just let it slide... or this is just going to get even more common.

[2plus2fun 143]

If someone did that at our club it's grounds for immediately being tossed out on his ear. That said... Sharon has a cute little ass and she likes to wear short skirts that show a little of it... there have been a couple of occasions where men have decided it was ok to lift the back of her skirt without permission or put their hands on her... Honestly, when that happens, it is all I can do to remain calm... I immediately feel the heat rising up my neck and my heart start to pound.

 

I have only threatened physical violence one time at the club and that person got thrown out... but any person who thinks that it is ok to grope someones wife without permission is a fucking idiot... period. Just because we are at a swinger club does not mean it's open season.

[TheLorax 173]

Y'know - as soon as you say "stop" or ask to be "let go" and they don't - that pretty much means it's open season to throw that person OUT of the party by whatever means necessary.

 

You shouldn't have to even wait for the boyfriend / husband to do it - if anyone witnesses something like this... step up and stop it from happening.

 

I may just be a layman to the terms - but I believe that uninvited "grabbing" like you describe is borderline "sexual assault" -- and that's not a good thing

 

Technically unwanted touching is battery. Assault is something else and while the two often occur together, it's possible to have battery without assault and assault without battery.

 

Clearly though, the perp was way in violation of the both unwritten, and often clearly expressed code for swing clubs. If they happened to sustain minor injuries in the process of being thrown out I doubt anyone would cry for them.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here--this only happened once and Ed had the guy in a light hold, sort of looks like Spock the Vulcan giving that famous neck pinch. The guy dropped to his knees and Ed saying,"In Star Trek the person goes unconscious. in your case you are going to feel a great deal of pain." He did nothing more as the guy was escorted out. No matter what, there's no excuse for that type of action. As far as it being a sexually charged environment, so what ? Sexually charged does not mean a license for any form of abuse. Perhaps that is naive, but I refuse to accept unacceptable behavior because some goofball thinks he as a 'right' to act a certain way. And, as always, 'no' means 'no'. w

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Mrsfun doesn't care for a stranger to grab at her. Proceed with caution!

 

Personally, I like it very much. (when a woman grabs or touches me)

 

I guess my question is....

 

Do women not do it, because They/women don't like it, or is it because they think we don't like it.

[TheLorax 173]

Mrsfun doesen't care for a stranger to grab at her. Procced with caution !

 

Personally, I like it very much. (when a woman grabs or touches me)

 

I guess my question is....

 

Do women not do it, because They/women don't like it, or is it because they think we don't like it.

 

Therein lies the problem. Just because *you* don't mind doesn't mean all, or even most men don't. So how is a woman supposed to know? What kind of venue? When does no mean know? It is basic politeness to not grab or touch (and I mean touching more than a casual touch of the arm or shoulder or hand) without either permission or some type of clear nonverbal acceptance (a direct smile or touch back...). Just because more men might be open to it, or because a man may feel that he isn't threatened by it and can "handle" the person involved when the contact is not wanted, still doesn't make it acceptable behavior.

 

What you need is a shirt or a sign that says "open to gropin!" or something Give the interested gals a chance to know you're welcoming to it. I like the codes some places put on namebadges which indicate the things people are open to.

[The Fuse 1,012]

We were at an OP club last Sat. night. We had been talking to a couple for a couple of visits. The man was obviously attracted to my wife and she to him (but then who isn't!) but I didn't feel a connection to his partner as she was a smoker - deal breaker. He came up from behind my wife and grabbed her around the waist. He asked her if she was "ready to go back" to the private rooms. While she felt complimented on his advance, she knew how I felt about his partner so she politely declined. She doesn't like to hurt peoples' feelings but it was what it was.

 

It was an awkward situation to say the least.

 

Maybe I'm seeing something different here than everyone else...

 

I don't know whether the "grab" was abrupt or not, but if the woman and the man were both attracted to each other, as dlflorida wrote, is it possible he had reason to think his touch was welcome? It's not like the lady was a stranger. He didn't "just grab" her. If we had talked to a couple for a few club visits and I liked the guy, I think that if he embraced, not grabbed, me from behind and asked me to play, it would not be unwelcome even if I had to turn him down.

 

It would have been smart of the guy to establish that he had a four-way match before asking, or perhaps asking if the wife played alone. But without knowing more specifics this one seems like maybe it wasn't that bad?

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Therein lies the problem. Just because *you* don't mind doesn't mean all, or even most men don't. So how is a woman supposed to know? What kind of venue? When does no mean know? It is basic politeness to not grab or touch (and I mean touching more than a casual touch of the arm or shoulder or hand) without either permission or some type of clear nonverbal acceptance (a direct smile or touch back...). Just because more men might be open to it, or because a man may feel that he isn't threatened by it and can "handle" the person involved when the contact is not wanted, still doesn't make it acceptable behavior.

 

What you need is a shirt or a sign that says "open to gropin!" or something Give the interested gals a chance to know you're welcoming to it. I like the codes some places put on namebadges which indicate the things people are open to.

 

Your right, I not only need that "open to gropin" shirt, Im gonna do everything in my power to get one. Maybe it should have an arrow pointing saying "but she dont"

 

I like to think I know many men..... I just cant say I every heard a guy say, " She groped me, and im upset about it ? "

 

I should have said "I" instead of "we", I guess. Just curious A sexy woman grabs you and you don't like it ?

[TheLorax 173]

fun4Ds said:

Your right, I not only need that "open to gropin" shirt, I'm gonna do everything in my power to get one. Maybe it should have an arrow pointing saying "but she dont"

 

I like to think I know many men..... I just can't say I ever heard a guy say, " She groped me, and I'm upset about it?"

 

I should have said "I" instead of "we", I guess. Just curious A sexy woman grabs you and you don't like it ?

 

That depends on the situation, but I can say without embarrassment, not always. And what if she's not sexy? I know there are some men out there who say all women are sexy, but I'm not one of them: I know some very unattractive women. And not all of them are hard on the eyes, eh?

You sorta feed into my point to. By your response you're giving me subtle disapproval (deliberate or not) for "having a problem with it." So the implied message is that I'm supposed to not say anything and pretend to be fine with it. After all, I'm a man so I can take it, right? So how many of those guys you mentioned above just smiled and went with it because they didn't want to act less than a man?

 

(I'm not saying you are doing this deliberately, just pointing out the messages that are sent)

 

I have a strong concept of personal space. While I may not be threatened by a sexy woman coming up to me out of the blue and groping and grabbing me, I'm probably not going to welcome it either unless I'd been giving her plenty of eye contact and other body language or other indication that it is welcome.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

TheLorax said:

That depends on the situation, but I can say without embarrassment, not always. And what if she's not sexy? I know there are some men out there who say all women are sexy, but I'm not one of them: I know some very unattractive women. And not all of them are hard on the eyes, eh?

 

I can appreciate that it depends on the situation for you. I am only stating how I feel. Its the beauty of a discussion forum, I'm glad you chimed in as well.

 

It doesn't bother "me" plain and simple. In fact, it has a sense of this woman wants and has my undivided attention, sexually. Anything from a tap on my shoulder a touch on my arm as we are talking, to a full grab of my crotch sends that message. I can go with that from that point, without feeling my personal space has been invaded or even worse, assaulted.

 

 

Quote

You sorta feed into my point to. By your response you're giving me subtle disapproval (deliberate or not) for "having a problem with it."

 

Could you clarify this Quote ? I never said that, or intentionally implied this particular message/quote.

 

 

Quote

So the implied message is that I'm supposed to not say anything and pretend to be fine with it. After all, I'm a man so I can take it, right?

 

What I'm implying is that I like it for many reasons. Mainly in a swinging situation it certainly cuts the chase. I can go with that and base my decision on MY sexual attraction. In a vanilla situation, it just generally makes me feel good.

 

Keep in mind, my self enlightenment comes not only from a woman (child hood therapist, and more) But also from the Talks I have had with Mrs fun when we began swinging.

 

 

Quote

So how many of those guys you mentioned above just smiled and went with it because they didn't want to act less than a man?

 

Maybe, more than I know listening to you today. I can agree with that, I only implied most men dont based on my observations from a selected group of men. But we are both entitled to our thoughts and opinions and true feelings. Every human being is. This subject shouldn't be any form of debate its not the intentions of any of my thoughts regarding the subject.

 

Quote

(I'm not saying you are doing this deliberately, just pointing out the messages that are sent)

 

My only real message is I have had it happen to me personally. The touching, grabbing, groping and actually even more as a child/adolescent by women. I've thought about it, digested it with myself and talked about it with my wife in private, as well as the women we consider our friends. I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I'm allowed to change, improve and even find I might be wrong.

 

 

Quote

I have a strong concept of personal space. While I may not be threatened by a sexy woman coming up to me out of the blue and groping and grabbing me, I'm probably not going to welcome it either unless I'd been giving her plenty of eye contact and other body language or other indication that it is welcome

 

I get this, I really can understand and listen.

 

Is it so different than me stating I Like it, and why?

[TheLorax 173]

Quote

"Could you clarify this Quote ? I never said that, or intentionally implied this particular message/quote."

 

Sure. I was pretty sure you weren't intentionally implying that. That's why I wanted to point out that this is how the message can be received. Subtle but strong social pressures can keep someone quiet for something that affects them deeply. Effective communications is not only about what you say, but it's also about understanding how the message can be received. In this case there's a strong and pervasive message to men to just accept behaviors from women that would be completely unacceptable if the genders were switched. Even if that was completely beyond your intention, by using the same type of language, "Just curious A sexy woman grabs you and you don't like it ?" the message to the recipient is that there's something wrong with not liking it. (I'd like to note, *I* really didn't take your question that way, I knew what you were asking which was why I took the time to compose my reply. I'm not debating, I'm explaining).

 

 

Quote

"Is it so different than me stating I Like it, and why?"

 

Nope, I have no problem if *you* like it, I think that's great for you. You asked the question about why women might not do that, I'm expanding on why some women wouldn't. I also think that a lot of issues people have could be cleared up if there were clear and unambiguous signals. That's why I like the t-shirt idea or the namebadge codes. I went to a Halloween party once dressed in hardhat, boots, toolbelt, thong, and nothing else. There was candy in the side pouches and an obvious cut out on the front pouch that didn't show anything, but allowed someone reaching in to get a good grope. Above the pouch I printed "help yourself" with an arrow pointing down.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Perfect explanation!

 

It's good

[Mr.Essex 264]

As someone who suffers from a (clinically speaking) mild level of PTSD, there's nothing more annoying than being touched by someone who doesn't make their presence known. As my supervisor told me after he pulled an April Fools prank with a popped paper bag and a scary mask, "The first two seconds were hilarious. The next fifteen, when you punched me in the face twice and kicked me in the balls weren't as funny." I'm nowhere near as volatile when I'm off-duty, but the higher levels of noise makes it almost impossible to keep track of who is who, and my heart tried it's best to leap from my chest on both occasions when a potential partner "surprised" me with a breasts-on-my-back assault.

 

That being said, I thoroughly approve of being warned about something behind me, then having an amorous woman press her breasts into my back and whisper hot things into my ear.