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SexyWVcouple102

First time swinging and need some help!

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Hello all,

Well yesterday we had our first sexual experience outside of our marriage. It was a mfm threesome and it was great. The guy was hot and my wife really took a liking to him.

 

The only thing is that the guy was way nervous and had some performance anxiety. He was using a condom (wouldn't have it any other way) but could not keep it up at all. He did finally get hard and cum and it was great. The only problem is that the experience was bad for my wife. She left thinking that he couldn't stay hard because he didn't like her. Keep in mind my wife is extremely hot. She is 5'9" 125 Lbs long hair and very long legs.

 

I haven't met a man yet that hasn't wanted to have sex with her so I don't think that was an issue. It has really upset her so that she isn't sure if she wants to continue. Anyone out there with a similar experience that can help out?

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First, congratulations on your first experience!

 

Second, performance problems are quite common, even if all people in question are sexy, horny, etc. Check out this thread:

Performance Problems

 

You mention the guy was nervous. Sounds like maybe it was his first experience too? Nerves, first experience, having another guy there watching him have sex with someone else, having that person be the husband of the person he's having sex with...plenty of reasons to deflate the erection.

 

Not to worry.

 

Communicate with the guy in question; tell him how great of a time you both had, and you'd like to have another experience with him. Talk with your wife and assure her that the performance problems are normal, and almost definitely have NOTHING to do with how sexy she is. There's no sense in getting worked up over performance issues; just makes it more difficult to erase the problems next time around due to anxiety!

 

Let us know how it goes!

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First off, CONGRATS on your first experience.

 

Second . . . equipment failure happens. And there's a 99% chance that it had nothing whatsoever to do with your wife. It could be he was nervous, it could be that the condom gave him issues, it could be a medication he's on, it could be the phase of the moon and Jupiter misaligning with Mercury. You just never know.

 

Unfortunately, you'll probably never know for sure, unless the guy happens to know and tells you. I've no doubt your wife is beautiful, and the best you can do is reassure her and try to move on. Hopefully, a positive experience will turn things around for you both.

 

Hugs.

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I've no doubt your wife is beautiful, and the best you can do is reassure her and try to move on. Hopefully, a positive experience will turn things around for you both.

 

Yep, keep reassuring her that this is common and it was not her fault. You might also want to look for a new MFM partner who is more experienced in the lifestyle and has no performance issues. They are pretty easy to find! ;)

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A similar thing happened to us on our first (and thus far only!) experience but with both guys. We put it down to nerves and I actually showed some of the posts on this site to Mr Kat to assure him it was something that happened a lot. Maybe you could show your wife some of the threads too?

 

Cheers, Mrs Kat

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We participated in a few MMFs and some voyeuristic experiences. I've often wondered, when we've set up these adventures in advance, whether some guys have "left it in the tissues". In other words, masturbated the night before in anticipation that they'd not really meet a willing woman. My lady has felt similar to yours. I've consoled her with the idea I've just offered. I think nerves and prior pleasure could be reason for any failure on "game day".

 

Enjoy the "lifestyle".

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Well I did as suggested and brought the issue up, letting him know that we understand and want to try again but now he won't return any of my wives emails or calls. This has left a bad taste in my wifes mouth (pun not intendid). Does anyone know of where we can get a quality partner that is used to these situations? We tried CL and there is just too much crap to wade through. Were really new to this so forgive our ignorance.

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Congrats!

 

As others have said, it's very common on the first go round.

 

If she liked him, do encourage her to give him another chance. The first time meeting anyone, even in the vanilla dating world is chock full of nerves.

 

It's very hard to find someone you're attracted to and hubby is ok with, so it's worth it to give him another go.

 

Mrs. T

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All I can say is it happens. It has happened to me more times than not. I felt at first that I wasnt attractive enough but that was more or less a fleeting thought. Men can get nervous their first time with a new woman and usually the second time is much better. Also the guy is not only nervous about being with a new woman, but the wife's hubby is there too which can cause a little anxiety. We have found that playing too late in the night ( or wee hours of the morning) doest help with this situation either.

 

Dont let this effect you two negatively, it happens. If the guy wont return her call after she and you have tired to console him on the matter then that is too bad for him, move on. But if you both really like this guy then keep trying maybe he will come around.

 

Best of luck!

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It was a mfm and it was great. [snip] The only problem is that the experience was bad for my wife.

 

Something about this is a little confusing... it was great except it was bad?

 

Best place to look for experienced solo guys are swing sites. Look for guys with multiple certifications from couples who've actually had sex with him. (Couples - not single women. How well a guy does 1-on-1 doesn't have anything to do with how well he'll do with a couple in a MFM.)

 

Picking guys with certs will go a long way towards helping you avoid guys with performance issues. The guys on CL tend to be wannabees - there are worthwhile playmates to be found there, but they are mixed in with tons of losers. Same is true for the swing sites, if you are talking about the tons of solo guys with no certifications, but guys who are certified tend to be a much better pool of potential playmates.

 

Inexperienced playmates don't know how they'll perform in an MFM - how can they? There's imagination, and then there is doing. Everyone tends to be more nervous when they are inexperienced, and for guys it often means they won't be able to get or stay erect.

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It's okay - these sort of things happen. I tend to get a bit nervous as well and it definately has nothing to do with the gal I'm with. It can be caused by all kinds of things...

 

Was it after he slipped on the condom that things started to "go down" ?? That's a similar experience to what I have - which I contribute to simply needing to get used to the feeling on condoms again. (I'm with a regular partner and we ride bareback)

 

And during those times - stay FAR away from those "prolong" type condoms which use chemical numbing agents to reduce the sensation for the guy.

 

And it takes a bit of time to get used to the experience and fire on all cylinders.... time to get used to the new things (the condoms), the new partner(s), and just relaxing enough to not feel this "performance anxiety"

 

Trust me... it's not you. It's him.

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Well I did as suggested and brought the issue up, letting him know that we understand and want to try again but now he won't return any of my wives emails or calls. This has left a bad taste in my wifes mouth (pun not intendid). Does anyone know of where we can get a quality partner that is used to these situations? We tried CL and there is just too much crap to wade through. Were really new to this so forgive our ignorance.

 

I just went to swinglifestyle.com, changing my zip code to Martinsburg. I put in age 30-50, looking for single males only, active in the last 7 days, interested in moderate and wild, within 25 miles of 25401. Results? 137 single men out there. Same search, but for couples only? 416 matches. Yes, there might be a lot of fakes. But, with that many there's got to be quite a few good ones. Of the couples, 171 were certified (i.e., people saying they are genuine). Of the single males, 45. They ARE out there, and very close to you.

 

There's also swingers clubs/groups to be tried. There's Martinsburg Swingers Group (martinsburgswingersgroup.com) for example. Check out the club listings at swinglifestyle.com. At clubs, a lot of the fakers are filtered out; everyone there is there to swing or at least check out swinging.

 

Don't sweat this guy that won't respond. If it won't respond in e-mails/messages, he probably wants to break it off. Let him contact you if he wants to. In the meantime, on to the next! The next guy might be absolutely amazing!

 

Your ignorance is ok :) However, if you don't know everything by the time you finish reading the post I'm sorry but you're going to have to turn in your humanity badge :) Asking questions is great, and keep asking!

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OK!!! So we had our second MFM experience with a different male and it went much better. My wife thinks that he might be a keeper for regular meetings. Thanks so much for the help and advice. What I did was search on swinglifestyle.com and found a man that meets our criteria. After that, we went back to his place and he and I played with my wife for 2 hrs. It was great. I reassured her that she was great and I would not have wanted it any other way and then the next day ordered her 18 red roses.

 

I never would have thought that this fantasy would have developed in a much deeper appreciation and love for each other but it has. I find myself holding hands, touching and more PDA's than ever in our 14 years of marriage.

 

So our first MFMF is on Monday. We are going to just try same room fun (maybe soft swapping also) and see where it takes us. We found a great couple that knows what they are doing and if nothing else they are cool with being just good friends. Ill keep you posted on how that goes.

 

Thanks again!!!

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Sounds wonderful... thank you for keeping us posted.

 

Hope it all works out well for you!

 

My sentiments too! The first MFM can be a bit of a disaster and you are handling it well!

 

Keep going and good luck!:cool:

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So out first MFMF experience was last night and it was really fun. We didn’t swap but a little soft swapping happened. Mainly just rubbing legs etc.. Were starting things off slowly and it seems to be going well so far. Thanks everyone for your help!! It was greatly appreciated.

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CONGRATUALTIONS!!

 

See... Just because one experience went wrong doesnt mean it was her!

 

As everyone has said it happens doesnt matter on HOW much experience.. And can happen at anytime.. even after the first or second meeting..

 

Remember, getting Wood and using it in a "active" enviroment with other shit on ones mind CAN be difficult.. And you never know what they are bring with them in their own "baggage"

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      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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