Were we had?

[xsexycouplex28x 15]

We get a message from what we thought was a couple...to attend a lil party just a few couples..right before we get there we call the guy to see how to get their...he infroms us the his g/f which turned into a friend was still working and didnt know when she would get off....but theres gonna be more couples coming....soo we attend and find out that the couple just left soo now its me my girl and the male part of the couple...drinking and having fun in the hot tub....one thing leads to another and we basically full swap with the guy....even though he is a lil pushy...she likes it ...but it wasnt until afterwards that we thought about it....did we just get played by a posing single guy...?

 

now I feel as we should have stoped what was going on and relized but...It was really just the heat of the moment....

 

And now me the male part feels like I should have stoped it....

 

just wondering if anyone else has had an experince like this......

[LFM2 1,482]

Yeah, it's possible he was NOT part of a couple and it's possible that there weren't other couples invited to this party. Some people will use what ever line works to get what they want. From your post, this guy sounds like a manipulator and a user. Steer clear of these fakers as much as you can.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

The party doesn't start till you want it to.......

[xsexycouplex28x 15]

wow...I dont know what to say....we competly got lost in the moment...and we usually are soo careful...I should have know from his pushyness....

[fun4Ds 1,098]

You really wont know unless you keep in contact with him and find the pattern. Or at least his girlfriend. Did you even get a chance to talk on the phone with his partner ? A call to work or cell phone should have been in order.... I would think

 

Other wise, I hope he was good at sex..... Then at least you HAD him

 

We've HAD a few

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

wow...I dont know what to say....we competly got lost in the moment...and we usually are soo careful...I should have know from his pushyness....

 

Well, you've learned your lesson, so next time just be much more careful about this sort of situation. We always meet couples for coffee or drinks first in a public place before things go any further. This effectively weeds out all the fakes and flakes out there.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

The party doesn't start till you want it to.......

 

That says it all right there!

 

 

I guess if you want to verify his status, you could let him know you'd love to get together with him AND his friend/girlfriend, then see how far he takes it before offering excuses.

(personally I wouldn't bother, but take it as a lesson learned and move on).

[jjtrindc 142]

Interesting that your question is "Were we had?" -- cause it sounds like you had a good time. Now do we think that he was a single guy? Most definitely based on the circumstances. Had we shown up and found it to be just the one person, we would have bailed. That's us. MFM's just aren't are party. But you had fun so that's great. I guess that's one way to learn a lesson the fun way.

[xsexycouplex28x 15]

yea...but I feel like I (the male part) should have steped in and stoped it....and I feel as the guy is just some scum bag who lied to us both...and we should have bailed once we got there but...I don't know what was going threw my head....kinda left us rethinkin the whole lifestyle....

[LFM2 1,482]

kinda left us rethinkin the whole lifestyle....

 

I totally understand why you'd say that, however, I don't have a problem with the lifestyle, but just maybe be more careful in the future.

 

Be a little more wary with men (and women for that matter) who pose as married or having a significant other and then that significant other is "unavailable" when it matters. This is where you have to learn to follow your gut and just leave. Tell him you'd love to meet again when he's/she's there. Also, just for safety sake, we alway meet the first time in a neutral place. Cafe or diner would work.

 

Good luck in the future.

[sweet_tna 680]

yea...but I feel like I (the male part) should have steped in and stoped it....and I feel as the guy is just some scum bag who lied to us both...and we should have bailed once we got there but...I don't know what was going threw my head....kinda left us rethinkin the whole lifestyle....

 

Yeah, sounds like you were HAD--literally and figuratively. But, since your lady wife seemed to enjoy it, then it's not a total wash. That said, I highly recommend you do a better job of following your instincts next time. If something doesn't feel right . . . SPEAK UP.

 

=)

[xsexycouplex28x 15]

yeaa I guess its just a lesson learned.......just felt like we should have known better

 

thanks guys...

[sweet_tna 680]

yeaa I guess its just a lesson learned.......just felt like we should have known better

 

thanks guys...

 

And here's the other lesson to be learned: We all make mistakes, and there's no sense beating ourselves up about it when we do. (Unless, of course, you're into that . . . )

 

Just learn from the mistakes and move on.

 

=)

[realcplub2 513]

We MUST learn a little more each day.. Here is the lesson for today..

 

When invited to a party, and the excuses are fast coming.. and YOUR the only couple there.. Oh yes its a party.. and you are the party FAVORS

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

yea...but I feel like I (the male part) should have steped in and stoped it....and I feel as the guy is just some scum bag who lied to us both...and we should have bailed once we got there but...I don't know what was going threw my head....kinda left us rethinkin the whole lifestyle....

 

Think of it this way...

 

If you dated a woman who jacked you around, didn't show up for a date, and when she did she brought along another guy and you never got a moment alone with her to even talk, would you be kinda rethinkin dating women?

 

I don't think so

 

If you and your wife had fun, take the fun. Don't over analyze. You probably were had. So what?

 

For the future, decide if you want to accept a situation like this. If you don't, a polite "thanks but no thanks" is all it takes. Let him know that the two of you play with couples only, no exceptions. That's how it works for my wife and I. Couples only, and same room. Else, it's a non-starter and we won't play. The important part here is YOU get to decide, not the person you're meeting up with.

 

To my wife and I, lying is ugly and a complete turn off. We don't care if you don't tell us everything, or even 1%. But, what you do tell us should be the truth.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

If you and your wife had fun, take the fun. Don't over analyze. You probably were had. So what?

 

 

My thoughts as well. As long as you enjoyed what did happen, why let it get to you so much. Yes, the guy probably lied to you and for that I wouldn't want to see him again... but why throw away what was otherwise a good night over it. Ya had fun...

[SandJinVT 23]

but why throw away what was otherwise a good night over it. Ya had fun...

 

I'm thinking the same as Julie here. There's nothing to question yourselves over. You went, you played with him in an MFM, and you left. You had a good time, you've already figured out he's a single male, but that doesn't matter at the moment. The ONLY thing that matters is that you had a good time - the rest is in the past. :-)

[willyoats 324]

We went to a convention that was suppose to be couples only, but the check-in desk didn't verify that the people registering had a partner. Also attending that time was a guy we had known previously who was not married but who had always had a GF with him (with whom we had partied on occasion). This time, the GF always seemed to be somewhere else. At meals, she was "not feeling well and was eating in the room." At the various meetings and party rooms she was no where to be found. We finally concluded that he had faked his way in, although we didn't confirm that.

 

As it happened, he did bang my wife in a group room.

 

A year later we went to a convention run by the same group. When I registered I couldn't get all of the material until my wife parked the car and fronted up to the desk to prove that we were a couple. I asked why there was this change in procedure. I was told that the previous year a single had sneaked in and they didn't want a repeat.

 

I don't think we were "had." We were willing participants with a guy who we found out later was untruthful. So what? It didn't change how much fun my wife had with him.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- As far as questioning whether the lifestyle is for you. You were not taken advantage of by a Swing Couple. You were taken advantage by a single guy, poser wannabe, flim-flam man. That is a very different thing. If we ever arrive and things are not as advertised, we leave, we do not accommodate a weakened or bad situation and neither should you.

 

But hey, your wife had a blast, so I'd just laugh it off.

[VANudistcpl 109]

To agree with just about everyone else, you probably were played by a single guy. In fact we were contacted recently by a "couple" and invited over for dinner. Before we accepted Ms VANudist asked to speak with his wife. That was last week and we still haven't heard from her.

 

Just remember Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

[JustMrJ 178]

This sounds similar to our first encounter in the lifestyle too... we later found out this guy, who poses as a couple on SLS, is also shunned by quite a few of the party groups in our area.

 

Don't let this discourage you in the least, you had great anticipation and expectation and let the moment take you.

 

Now you are wiser and more prepared.

 

If you are to meet with a couple and that couple is not present and the person that showed is making excuses for the other, politely tell them you will have to reschedule when both halves are present as that is a 'rule' you have. Nothing more needs to be said to that person. If they hem and haw, then just leave and don't contact them again. PERIOD.

 

Only do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Remember that you and your spouse need to discuss these things ahead of time now that you know and one can see what the other may not and you can communicate and be able to prevent these situations in the future.

 

Good luck and above all... have fun!

[Malachista 170]

Perhaps the problem is that the wife had fun.

The original poster may feel strange because they (or at least he) only wanted a couple, but now found out that the wife can have fun with a MFM as well, and now feels left out

 

(I came across two couples who left the LS because the guy suddently had a problem because the wife started to enjoy MFM rather then the originally planned couple/couple)

[Chris&Amelia 253]

That's a possibility, Malachista.

 

Me? Personally... I think we would have been "Um... so... tell ya what. Get a hold of us when your girlfriend shows up. I'm sure we could arrange something." But then, neither Amelia or I are fond of pushy people in general, and would have left at that point based on that fact alone. We don't find "pushy" to be attractive at all.

 

Sounds like you guys got conned. Too many odd "coincidences"... other couples already left, girlfriend was still stuck at work, etc. But, as others pointed out, it wasn't a disaster (wife was satisfied) and you learned a lesson.

[Pensacolapair 394]

"were we had?"

 

Yes.. you were. And as has already been said, it should be a learning experience. (really no other options)

 

The really sad part about this is that using these tactics, this guy had success.... which means that there's really no reason for him not to pull it again.