The stigma of single men & swinging.

[mixtupcpl 169]

quivers4me,

 

So you'd pass our test if we were looking for SF For us, anyone who thinks like you (male or female) would be "in" (if there is attraction).

 

The problem for single guys is that most men will NEVER be able to think this way, yet they want to fuck some guys wife anyway. And hence we have the problem that is often discussed here

 

Are there women who just cant think like this? Of course. MOST women can't either. But then most of them dont seek out couples. Thats why they're "unicorns". Guys, thinking entirely with their dick, will just take ANY chance for what they think is an "easy fuck", and often, I think many will even be getting off on the fact that they DO view the couple in a disrespectful way.

 

Its just how the male brain is wired. The reason its often the husbands who are most defensive is b/c we love our wives and know how MOST guys think and MOST of them, for us, just won't qualify.

 

Those that truly think like quivers, and I know we can tell, are in. Its as easy as that. There is no stigma. There are just tons of guys who "want" but dont "deserve" and then a few who are for real.

 

Now of course some couples probably dont care at ALL, but unfortunately, I suspect there arent enough of them to satisfy the seemingly infinite number of single guys who have this high on their "kink" list (fuck some guys wife while husband watches). I think, that many of THEM think, that this is a cuck thing, which it isnt. It's a pattern I notice in the emails.

[iapr 24]

CockStamper said:

WOW....there are so many things wrong with that last statement that I will go through it piece by piece and dismantle it...

 

You can heave personal attacks at me all you want, you won't scare me away. I am intrigued beyond belief. And will continue to learn. Period.

 

Actually it wasn't a personal attack on you at all and not even meant to scare you away. It may have been a bit crude and edgy but it gotcha thinking didn't it?

 

I was just telling like I see it without sugar coating it. Everyone else has been trying to be polite and PC, I'm not.

 

Tell you what, you go out and start hitting the clubs and start interacting with lifestyle couples (not single women and not gals cheating on their husbands/BFs) and then come back in a year and tell us all who was right in the long run.

 

Picking up single chicks doesn't count, that's not swinging that's just picking up chicks. Whether you pick up a single chick it a vanilla bar or from a swinger website it doesn't matter. That's just a variation in venue, it's not fundamentally different. If you are invited into the bedroom of a married couple with the full consent, participation and cooperation of each spouse, that's swinging.

 

Get together with a few couples and tell me how it goes in the long run. They may treat you kindly and respectfully and they may even truly appreciate your company and services but you are a boy toy and a talking dildo to them.

 

They may like you and praise you and recommend you to their friends.......as long as you are jumping through their hoops and performing the tricks they assign and as long as you are fulfilling their needs. Start trying to freelance a little bit or start trying to sway things to how you want it to be and see how far you get or how long it takes you to get kicked to the curb.

 

That would apply to single females as well and truthfully even another couple if things started getting out of hand.

 

I know my statements are shocking to some but I really don't see it as elitist at all. I am not even saying this is right. This is what I see taking place out in the field and I am not sugarcoating it any.

 

Life is not easy for single males in the lifestyle and this is why. Some take to it real well and fit in well and are quite successful. The other 99% flounder for a short time and then fall on their face and go back to traditional meat-market bars or decide that having a steady girlfriend isn't such a bad gig after all.

 

The difference between the successful single males and the other 99% that fall along the wayside boils down to how willing they are to be someone else's errand boy. they all think it will be great to be the errand boy for some hot wife and they may even like the first night or two of hot sex. But real shortly they find out where their real place is in that arrangement and the luster and charm of it all wears off real quick.

 

Don't take my word for it. Go ahead and give it an honest whirl. Play safe, play hard and play fair. Just report back when you see the light.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

From reading your SLS profile I think you might be in the wrong place. All this talk about swinging and I don't think it need concern you. I'd suggest heading over to ALT.com and setting up a profile there. There are more people on ALT who are looking for what you want. The following is from your profile:

 

I am into making a girl feel like a dirty whore. I will spank you, and make you gag on my cock. Tell and teach how to fuck until you worship my dick. I am not joking. I also have a jump-off at the ready if you're into girls and threesomes....

 

Tell us about your fantasies and/or real experiences.

 

Cock Gagging, Anal, Facial, MFF threesomes, domination, dirty talk!

 

I don't think swinging is really going to be your niche. Finding people to fuck is, and you can do that without using the typical swinger sites. You are more likely to find couples on ALT who want what you have to offer. And if you don't, it would seem from your profile that you'd be happy with only women playmates who are looking for a dominating single male.

[iapr 24]

LikeMinds321 said:

From reading your SLS profile I think you might be in the wrong place. All this talk about swinging and I don't think it need concern you. I'd suggest heading over to ALT.com and setting up a profile there. There are more people on ALT who are looking for what you want. The following is from your profile:

 

I am into making a girl feel like a dirty whore. I will spank you, and make you gag on my cock. Tell and teach how to fuck until you worship my dick. I am not joking. I also have a jump-off at the ready if you're into girls and threesomes....

 

Tell us about your fantasies and/or real experiences.

 

Cock Gagging, Anal, Facial, MFF threesomes, domination, dirty talk!

 

I don't think swinging is really going to be your niche. Finding people to fuck is, and you can do that without using the typical swinger sites. You are more likely to find couples on ALT who want what you have to offer. And if you don't, it would seem from your profile that you'd be happy with only women playmates who are looking for a dominating single male.

 

Yyyyyeah. No wonder I hit such a nerve with this guy. Sorry I wasted the bandwidth trying to explain it now.

[avid 134]

Gee, and here I was rooting for the guy!

[mixtupcpl 169]

LOL! Same here! Ah who cares...

[CockStamper 26]

That is what my SLS profile says, and it was written before I had an understanding of what this all entailed. So my profile shows that...so what? I've stated repeatedly that I have no experience in all this, and am exploring the context of it all...BEFORE jumping into a scenario that is not right for me.

 

I admitted that my knowledge of this culture was limited to what are probably wrong-headed preconceived notions, and my own selfish desires. And honestly that profile was copy & pasted from a CL ad that I posted. Before I got here, and before I started to understand, and gain a legitimate respect for the culture.

 

To me it's like anything else...the reasons for why you become interested in a subject are not necessarily that important. They can vary greatly. But what IS important is how you approach learning about and respecting that subject.

 

Meaning: You wouldn't expect someone to know the rules of football if they had never played the game before. And you wouldn't expect them to run out on the field and start trying to run the offense...But if they expressed an interest in the game because for whatever reason they were drawn to it, you would probably teach them how to play. Not make them feel like a pariah for being curious about the sport.

 

I am a 28 year old, white male who is looking to play in a safe, and friendly environment.

This is my current profile description on here and a much more respectful approach. Written after considering the gravity of peoples opinions, and attitudes.

 

I saw that you were new to the site like me, and figured I would hit you up since we live in the same state and are relatively close.

 

I am a 28 year old, D&D free, clean cut white male who is looking to play with a couple in a safe, and friendly environment.

 

I am not God's gift to women, nor do I have a monster cock. But I am adventurous and up for some fun. I'm a normal guy, not some weirdo, or judgmental creep.

 

I am divorced with two kids, and can appreciate the need for discretion, and respect of boundaries and guidelines.

 

If you are interested, you can reach me here.

 

Thanks for your consideration.

 

AND this is a PM that I sent in response to an ad I saw posted on here...Both of these are indicative of my shift in attitude since coming here....Does that mean I don't like the above things listed in my SLS profile? Hell NO!...But I NOW understand that that is not what all this is about (again it might be for some;)) But it probably is not for most....

 

To go back to the sports analogies for a second: just because I like to play football, doesn't mean I can't learn how to play golf too....

 

I'm not going anywhere.... I'm enjoying the mental stimulation too much.

[avid 134]

... But what IS important is how you approach learning about and respecting that subject.

 

Meaning: You wouldn't expect someone to know the rules of football if they had never played the game before. And you wouldn't expect them to run out on the field and start trying to run the offense...

 

Honey, by writing that ad, posting it, leaving it there, and making a link to it from here, you act like you wrote the book on football.

[CockStamper 26]

avid said:

Honey, by writing that ad, posting it, leaving it there, and making a link to it from here, you act like you wrote the book on football.

 

LMAO .....leaving it there was an oversight, and am not sure how that brings you to your conclusion. I don't even know what to say to this...Now I'm being attacked for confidence...sheesh.....I'm not saying I wrote the book, that was done by the greats who proceeded me. But I am a student of the game, and feel that I have obtained all-pro status.

 

With that being said, I am done with this thread. I will move on from this topic, and become a productive member of this board regardless of attitudes towards me, or those like me. For those who can forgive me for my initial transgressions, and will judge me based off of the overall content of my posts: THANK YOU...For those who can't: oh, well. I guess our paths are not meant to cross. Good luck to you.

 

Peace.