Why are you so rude to people on your profile?

[jdavisauto 73]

We was looking through some profiles on SLS and found that many people are just rude on their profile. This is not just on SLS but other swingers sites as well. Just seems like on SLS there’s more (that could be because we are on SLS more then the other sites). Some came right out and call people fatties, ugly and old fucks on their profiles. One profile stated: “If you are a ugly person you need not to contact us. We only want people as good looking as us“. Some of their profiles makes them so unattractive no matter how good looking they think that are. We know that everyone has their preference but why be so rude to people about it? Are they so full of them self’s that they just can’t find a nice way to state their preference?

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

We was looking through some profiles on SLS and found that many people are just rude on their profile. This is not just on SLS but other swingers sites as well. Just seems like on SLS there’s more. Some came right out and call people fatties, ugly and old fucks on their profiles. One profile stated: “If you are a ugly person you need not to contact us. We only want people as good looking as us“. Some of their profiles makes them so unattractive no matter how good looking they think that are. We know that everyone has their preference but why be so rude to people about it? Are they so full of them self’s that they just can’t find a nice way to state their preference?

 

In any sufficiently large group, there's bound to be a few jerks. I don't know if SLS exhibits more or less of this. No idea.

 

Personally, when I view a profile and see people refer to others that aren't quite like them in derogatory terms, I don't care if I'm like them or not. Next!

 

There's a huge difference between "We're physically fit, and hope you are too" and "We're in good shape and won't play with lazy physical slobs" but the goal is the same.

 

Some people are just rude.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I would rather found it on their profile that they are assholes versus meeting them in person and wasting more time to find out.

 

It doesn't matter how good looking you are, someone else is tired of your shit.

[socolais 696]

let sleeping dogs lie.

 

If they're getting all the action they want, then I'm happy for them.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

It doesn't matter how good looking you are, someone else is tired of your shit.

 

There's plenty of people you can take a look at and think "OH MY GOD! HE IS *#()@$*()@# HOT!"

 

Then, when you get to know them and find out what a total kneebiter they are, you can never look at them in the same way again. Instead, you think "Oh, yeah, whatever. he's got a great body, but I can't even begin to imagine being in bed with that thing!"

[spvcouple 123]

We agree with Biloxi...better to find out a bit about them upfront...before you waste anytime with them. Personally, we have rarely met this type of person. But when we have, it doesn't matter how hard he is, how wet she is or how perfect the breasts are... we walk the other way.

 

K and D

[two42lovers 273]

We haven't seen much of that - certainly isn't a majority...

 

Sounds like they are morons - why give them a second thought?

[rpu3 630]

There are plenty of people who are rude jerks in real life. Why would a profile on a swinging website be any different?

 

At least the profiles are honest as to their mode of operation and those who don't in such a way can pass those profiles on by. Saves some of us a lot of time by their "honesty".

[Guest cpl4funindel]

We've seen those types of profiles on SLS as well... A real turn off.

 

While physical attraction has a part to play in all this, if that's the way it's presented they just went ugly in our views. I suppose in some respects though, it's nice of them to make it obvious they're jerks up front...

 

P&S

[PB&J 1,086]

There was a profile on a site we're on which was all in caps, horribly spelled, and really really bitter because as far as I could tell, they'd never been able to hook up. They changed it daily, it got more and more shrill, and then they just.... disappeared. What a relief.

[good times 991]

Interesting, while I think a lot of times people could say these things a little more diplomatically, they are stating what they want or don't want. Being a person who pretty much says what is on his mind in real life, these profiles don't bother me at all. Furthermore, based on all the emails we get from people who obviously haven't read our profile, I can kind of understand the direct blunt approach some use. And honestly, if we thought they were hot and that we matched what they were looking for it wouldn't keep us from contacting them.

 

So I have to agree with what someone else said above, if it works for them, it doesn't bother me in the least.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

There was a profile on a site we're on which was all in caps, horribly spelled, and really really bitter because as far as I could tell, they'd never been able to hook up. They changed it daily, it got more and more shrill, and then they just.... disappeared. What a relief.

 

Probably a relief for them too.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

There was a profile on a site we're on which was all in caps, horribly spelled, and really really bitter because as far as I could tell, they'd never been able to hook up. They changed it daily, it got more and more shrill, and then they just.... disappeared. What a relief.

 

Their profiles give you an insight into their personalities.

 

It continues to amaze me how little time some people actually put into their profiles and expect so much in return.

 

Just like when you go to party/club looking for a hookup. You look at how they look, how they dress, how they talk and many other factors. Certain things will interest you and other things will turn you off. These things give you an insight into their personalities just like the profiles that are listed online.

 

First impressions are important even on-line. So you really should take your time and have a well written profile with appropriate pictures.

 

So if you want to be taken seriously, take a bathe, use spell check, dress nice, take a nice picture (of both of you), explain what you are looking for, brush your teeth, use appropriate punctuation... Got the idea:cool:

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Sometimes I think they put something in there because of what happened. Either when they met someone in the beginning, or recently.

 

Some just seem that way to me. Like they are taking a jab at someone on purpose.

[Fox n Hound 16]

No one has mentioned that some profiles are just not real to start with, just some clown jerking us while they jerk themselves. They just want to see what they can stir up, but maybe we could be wrong.

 

The one statement we have seen most is, "no previous fatties" what a shame to make that statement. Diplomacy is worth a kings ransome.

 

Fox N Hound

[Chicup 41]

Honestly I wish I could be more rude in our profile.

 

I'd love to say in excruciating detail of what we are NOT looking for, mostly because such people waste so much of our time over the years. I'm not talking 'no fatties' or the like but like.......

 

If you really aren't sure you want to swing and want to just meet so you talk about it more with your spouse who really isn't into it please don't contact us.

 

The problem of course is how human nature approaches negativity.

[jdavisauto 73]

The one statement we have seen most is, "no previous fatties" what a shame to make that statement. Diplomacy is worth a kings ransome.

 

Fox N Hound

 

Just some common courtesy will go a long way with people. Calling people who is looking at your profile fatties is not a good first impression of the way you think. All that does is show your superficial mentality. One profile on another site said that they don’t want any black race to applied, but they did not say it so nice, they had another word for the black race. This lifestyle is made up of many people, race, shapes and sexual preference. No matter what, there is no reason to be that way in the profiles. Thank god that they are so intelligent that they have no ideal that they are telling us how much that they are lacking in intelligence. It's like they are warning us on how much of an bass sole they really are.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Why are you so rude to people on your profile?

 

Same reason why they're rude on the highway, or at the grocery store, or at work....

 

I blame it on poor social training. Seriously, they're telling you what you need to know. I'm all for owning up to who you are from the very start. If you're an asshole or a bitch, please let me know up front. So, I don't see anything wrong with people not sugar-coating themselves online. Sure as hell saves some time...

 

Pepper

[BiloxiCouple 695]

No one has mentioned that some profiles are just not real to start with, just some clown jerking us while they jerk themselves. They just want to see what they can stir up, but maybe we could be wrong.

 

The one statement we have seen most is, "no previous fatties" what a shame to make that statement. Diplomacy is worth a kings ransome.

 

Fox N Hound

 

Alot of profiles are not real. Guys just jerking around. Kids goofing around and so on. You have to filter thru the trash to find the quality.

 

"no previous fatties" again a statement that gives you an insight into their personalities. Who knows, you may seem them out and about at a club/party and then you know what/who you are dealing with.

 

Diplomacy. Yep. Swinging is actually a small world and there is no telling when paths may cross whether directly or indirectly. Rumors spread viciously and quickly.

[good times 991]

Seriously, they're telling you what you need to know. I'm all for owning up to who you are from the very start. If you're an asshole or a bitch, please let me know up front. So, I don't see anything wrong with people not sugar-coating themselves online. Sure as hell saves some time...

 

Pepper

Exactly, same reason I have no problem with the people that put gross or unflattering pictures on their profile. great time saver for us.

[realcplub2 513]

Ahh yes but you are ruling out the beautiful MIND factor....

 

 

Sorry couldnt say that with a straight face either... I suppose we are one of the people that piss people off with our profile for one reason.. We expect those that are interested to READ..

 

We spell out for anyone caring to read what we are and arent into, what we would like to find and what we dont really care for.. and it still draws attention from those that dont bother to read..

 

And yet, they write back when we write them and ask " you really didnt read the profile did ya?"

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

One profile on another site said that they don’t want any black race to applied, but they did not say it so nice, they had another word for the black race.

 

Just yesterday I saw a profile on SLS where the wife in the couple was wearing a confederate flag bikini. They were otherwise an interesting couple, based on the profile. I'm glad she was wearing it because it saved us a little bit of time, and maybe a lot of time. I'm mad that she was wearing it because there's still idiots in this world that think the confederate flag is an innocent display.

 

Early on, before we actually started swinging, my wife asked me if I'd care if she had sex with a black man. I told her, "Of course not, and you knew that answer already!" I care if she's sexually attracted to the guy, if he's good to her, and if she has a great time with him. Beyond that, he can be from Pluto for all I care.

 

Profiles often say so much, yet actually say very little. Profiles rarely do a good job of portrayal of a couple. I think they can be a bit useful for quickly filtering out those you definitely do NOT want to have sex with, but not very useful for finding those you do want to have sex with.

[Chicup 41]

I'm mad that she was wearing it because there's still idiots in this world that think the confederate flag is an innocent display.

 

I'm proud of US history as a whole, I salute the flag, but I'm not proud of everything done in US history by the government.

 

I'm sure the same can apply to the confederate flag by thoughtful individuals who can realize that there was more to the confederacy then slavery, and that the civil war was not a war to free the slaves at its core.

 

I'm not from the south, the confederate flag has no symbolic power over me, and yes a lot of idiots use it as a emblem for their racism, but that does not mean all who it holds meaning to, do so out of malicious intent.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I'm proud of US history as a whole, I salute the flag, but I'm not proud of everything done in US history by the government.

 

I'm sure the same can apply to the confederate flag by thoughtful individuals who can realize that there was more to the confederacy then slavery, and that the civil war was not a war to free the slaves at its core.

 

I'm not from the south, the confederate flag has no symbolic power over me, and yes a lot of idiots use it as a emblem for their racism, but that does not mean all who it holds meaning to, do so out of malicious intent.

 

100% agreed. Ending slavery became a vehicle to prosecute the civil war. I know that slaves in the northern states were not freed by Lincoln's EO, and not freed until many months after the end of the war. I'm not so much commenting on the confederate flag as part of that history.

 

Since the civil war, the confederate flag has come to be a very strong symbol for racism in this country. Very. Even if it had no symbolic value for me, not recognizing how painful of a symbol it is for so many in our country would be very shallow and disrespectful of me.

 

Take another example. The Swastika is in Europe equated to the NSDAP. It's use is outright banned in Germany. However, it has a very long history predating the Nazi party by millenia. Further, the NSDAP wasn't all bad. There were a considerable number of good things that were done prior to the war under the auspices of the NSDAP, especially in economic revival during the depression.

 

I can not in good conscience wear a swastika and think to myself, "This is ok, because historically the swastika was subverted by the NSDAP anyway, and the NSDAP did do some good things" Likewise, the confederate flag has been subverted and strongly equates to racism in this country. I'm not one for political correctness. I think it's stupid and short sighted. I am one for erasing racism as much as humanly possible.

 

Contrast; West Baden Springs Hotel near where I live has swastika symbols built into some banisters and floor works on its veranda. The construction predates the NSDAP by some decades. The symbols there are not in any way related to the NSDAP. Attempting to remove them would be extreme political correctness, and a great injustice to the original design of this National Historic Landmark. In some ways, it'd be just as bad as the Taliban's destruction of Buddhist symbols.

 

Displaying a confederate flag as part of an historical display, say in a museum at the Appomattox Court House National Historic Park is one thing. Displaying the confederate flag as part of a bikini is entirely, completely different and is not innocent of racist overtones.

[jdavisauto 73]

I'm proud of US history as a whole, I salute the flag, but I'm not proud of everything done in US history by the government.

 

I'm sure the same can apply to the confederate flag by thoughtful individuals who can realize that there was more to the confederacy then slavery, and that the civil war was not a war to free the slaves at its core.

 

I'm not from the south, the confederate flag has no symbolic power over me, and yes a lot of idiots use it as a emblem for their racism, but that does not mean all who it holds meaning to, do so out of malicious intent.

 

I serve in the US Army for over 17 years as a airborne ranger (Once a ranger, always a ranger). When I was in the Army I started to study history and found out a lot about me and the country that I served. One day a private who new how much I love history came up to me and asked me which war was the bloodiest? I told him each and every one. The civil war was so much more then just about slavery. But we can never forget our history that drives this nation into our future. We learn from all of our mistakes from our past to build a better world for our children tomorrow.

I guess the same can be said about our profiles. We read the ones that are rude and learn from them on what not to say. In a way they do have a purposes.

 

This has gotten deep.

[jdavisauto 73]

Hay I just found out that we can rate these posts. Come on people start doing some rating.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Hay I just found out that we can rate these posts. Come on people start doing some rating.

 

Looks like you've already received some previous good ratings.

 

If you hold your cursor over the little green square under your profile info, you'll see that is says you give great advice!

[Spoomonkey 421]

"What do you mean? We think we are just as attractive as you? Your shitty personality takes you down so far that WE are doing YOU a favor." I would love to send this about two emails into the exchange with such a couple.

 

Frankly, a profile like that works just as well as people coming to a club with a t-shirt that says "Be Warned! Wife if shallow and hubby will be a drunken asshole within the hour."

 

There are certainly people who could be a bit more diplomatic in what they say, but there are jerks in real life as well. At least the "good ones" out themselves early for you!

 

Spoomonkey

[jdavisauto 73]

Looks like you've already received some previous good ratings.

 

If you hold your cursor over the little green square under your profile info, you'll see that is says you give great advice!

 

I be damn, you learn something new everyday, Thanks.

[Willing29 66]

Actually I never noticed this until you pointed it out. I just saw a profile yesterday that stated 'no fat people'. Now that's just plain rude and uncalled for. I understand some people have different things they are looking for but just so 'NO' or disregard the invites. No need to be rude.

[realcplub2 513]

Ok.. as far as the confederate flag debate that went on, sorry I am getting in on it late..

 

Each and everyone of you is right about the lack of respect shown by some people, However, since the early 80's the confederate flag has come to represent, what it truly is, a REBEL FLAG.. set your wayback machines to 1982, Billy Idol, REBEL YELL.. wearing a confederate flag T shirt..

 

For more than a few they have displaced the true meaning of the flag to allow it to represent, a rebel attitude. Down here its even one or two steps beyond that, there are t shirts out down here, that have the stars and bars, all over them with REDNECK this or that..

 

In much the same way the SWASTIKA was perverted by the NAZI regime, taking it away from its true history, As was already commented on by bbarnsworth. Much of the Nazi regime took NORDIC symbols to apply to whatever they wished forgeting the true History behind it. From the SS lightning bolts to the Hammer of Thor, twisting it to represent the image or idea that they were purporting it to mean in the arian image.

 

Wanna bit of a challenge? Look for a DVD, called CSA: the confederate states of america.. its a mock documentary from the point of view that the south WON the war.. taking a look at the current state of america if they HAD won. And pay particular attention at the very end.. as they explain the imagery used in the film.

 

Now its time to ruin MY image to many here who have at least listened to a rant or two, read a post or two of ours..

 

As I asked set the way back machine to 1982, I am sure there are still photos around somewhere, of the 17 yr old kid, looks a hell of a lot like me, wearing a rebel flag sleeveless t shirt, black jeans and boots, Spiked wrist bands, and yes a mullet.

 

we all learn from whats past.. but to be honest, with the PUNK rock stuff, and the HEAVY METAL stuff I used to wear, never gave much of a thought to WHAT it meant, until I got older.. at the time it was in style, just like the BONZI wear was.. and SHOCKER, I wore that stuff too..

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Actually I never noticed this until you pointed it out. I just saw a profile yesterday that stated 'no fat people'. Now that's just plain rude and uncalled for. I understand some people have different things they are looking for but just so 'NO' or disregard the invites. No need to be rude.

 

NO people from New Jersey! Eww! And for god sakes no people with plaid school girl miniskirts!!! Yeeeeucky!

 

[Willing29 66]

NO people from New Jersey! Eww! And for god sakes no people with plaid school girl miniskirts!!! Yeeeeucky!

 

Hoosier? What the heck is a Hoosier? Just kidding somoene from Indiana once explained it to me.

[jojo5555 15]

I still believe in the law of attraction, no matter a person's size, sex or color. Everyone's idea of "hot" is different. Mine certainly is. I'm an acquired taste and a work in progress, for crying out loud. Humans also have ability to look good on paper, or in that couple's case, not looking so good on paper, weeding out us undesirables. I don't know about the rest of you, but that kind of negativity is not my style.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

That's the great thing about profiles, they allow you to learn a LOT about the inner workings of people before you ever meet them.

 

On the other hand, most people would never represent themselves the same way in person. We've encountered this as well, where we've met a couple in person first and had a good time with them only to read their profile later and think there's no way we ever would have met them based on what they said in their profile (and yes it was a derrogatory comment towards a specific group of people), and thanks to reading their profile we never met them again.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Hi everyone. My first post in a while.

 

The OP brings up a good question. Mr. Fuse and I sometimes look at profiles and wonder why, even if someone really does feel that way about body size, race (especially race, in our area), cock size, breast size or what have you -- why crow about it in your profile? If those people write to you, for heaven's sake, just politely turn them down. No need to announce your shallowness or low-mindedness to the entire community. Unless, of course, you are proud of it.

 

Just yesterday we got an email from a couple whose profile says "we are good-looking and we only want good-looking people". Comments like that make me less motivated to get off my ass and go meet them, because I think they will just be snooty in person too. By the way, they are fairly good-looking (especially her), but maybe not as good-looking as they think (especially him). Sigh... isn't that always the way? {grin}

 

We also got email from a couple we don't find attractive from their pictures. So I just wrote back and said I didn't think there would be an attraction, but it would be nice to meet at a party or meet and greet, since we have a lot in common. No need to say, "We think you're unattractive". Who knows, if we met them in person, they might get us hot. But we won't go meet them if we think it's unlikely. Am I going to put a line in our profile that says "If you're ugly, don't write to us"? No... because it's rude, and just as importantly, some "ugly" people are pretty sexy.

 

However, I can understand a certain stridency I see in some profiles, because I recently noticed it had invaded ours... I got a bit whiny about a pet peeve or two that I have (no pictures of the guy). I revised again, and now I think the negativity is gone. No need to advertise my annoyance when I'm trying to be alluring.

 

In short, I think people are rude in their profiles for two main reasons. One, because they think if someone they wouldn't be attracted to writes to them, it says something about the couple receiving the email. It doesn't. (Well, sometimes it does.) If you don't like some types of people and someone of that type writes to you, it doesn't mean you're that type or that someone would mistake you for that type. Some people just don't want to "get any on them". It's very high school. If you're seen talking to someone who's not cool, maybe you're not cool either...

 

The other reason I think some people are rude in their profiles because they've had one too many aggravating things happen to them, and they are venting. It's just not the most advantageous place to vent.

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

Hey everybody,

I very much agree with the people who say "go for it" with rudeness in profiles. It's soooo much easier to identify the people you never want to meet in person.

Now, if we just had as easy a way to identify those sorts at parties and socials. That attitude that some people put off that says "I AM THE GODDESS OF HOTNESS. FALL DOWN AND WORSHIP ME. IF YOU MEASURE UP I MIGHT CONDESCEND TO SPEAK TO YOU" gets really tedious. I think we need a new color for the swinger bracelet that means "we are hot and are only interested in super hot people."

The shallow folks would be proud to wear it, and the rest of us could just steer clear.

I'd MUCH rather spend my time with a couple who are older, plumper, but nice people than the young, hot, and shallow.

[paradiseclubcpl 27]

In reply: There is no excuse for rude behavior.

We have seen the behavior that Jdavisauto is speaking about.We belong to many lifestyle websites, and run a club. Although in the club setting rudeness is less common, in the lifestyle as a whole the rude behavior does show up to often.

 

We are in a unique position we aren't actively looking for other couples, However In the past we were quite active.

During those active days we have had our moments of weight gain and picture taking techniques that to say the least needed work.

 

We have been on both sides of the appearance issue. With that said, for us we always take the more polite road in declining an incompatible couples interest.

 

One of the major reasons people get rude, is the practice of some singles and couples who fail to read whole profile. We have seen this happen to us and it continues even thought we are now in an exclusive Polyamorous relationship. We state this in our profile and still receive mail from interested couples. We also state and have always stated no interest in single males. They seem to write all the time.

Sometimes you wish you could shake them and say read the profile you ass. LOL

Many people just write because they see a nice body or pretty face. Once you read their profile, you see that you have little to nothing in common with them. That is if they have a profile at all.

 

The bed post notchers, single guys writing couples who are not looking for single guys, and the annoying, open your private pics to us, are way to common. Let us not forget my personal favorite. the people/ guys that send you a picture of their cock and think that is all it takes. Come on now how many of these can one get before getting pissed.

 

This lifestyle also attracts some very shallow people. The search for great playmates sometimes requires looking at more than a nice picture or hot body.

One must remember than old saying "for every pot there is a cover" and "beauty is more than skin deep".

 

One of the suggestions that I tell all the newbies that come to my club is, try for a friendship first.

[Cpl2share 147]

Our profiles have never been rude (I don't think anyway) but we have had to get rude on a couple of occasions with people who contacted us because of our profile. One couple in particular: They contacted us through every site that we were members of. We use the same name for all of our profiles, so they had to have figured it out by the third time. We kept responding nicely that we were not interested. Finally, on the 5th or sixth contact I got fed up and told them flat out: You whine in your profile that no one ever wants to meet up. Maybe it is because you have pictures on the site that show both of you with very poor hygene (greasy hair, dirty clothes, etc.) Maybe it is because you have photoshopped yourselves into exotic postcards to make it look like you travel to expensive places. Maybe it is because your spelling and grammar are atrocious. If you can not take the time to use spell check and you do not know proper grammar it is going to be very hard to have an intelligent conversation with you. Finally, We do know who you are. We see you at (I named both places of work) and we really can not afford to be seen hanging out with you when you make such a desparate show of being in the LS. Rude, yes, to the point, yes. But they did finally quit contacting us.

[jdavisauto 73]

Our profiles have never been rude (I don't think anyway) but we have had to get rude on a couple of occasions with people who contacted us because of our profile. One couple in particular: They contacted us through every site that we were members of. We use the same name for all of our profiles, so they had to have figured it out by the third time. We kept responding nicely that we were not interested. Finally, on the 5th or sixth contact I got fed up and told them flat out: You whine in your profile that no one ever wants to meet up. Maybe it is because you have pictures on the site that show both of you with very poor hygene (greasy hair, dirty clothes, etc.) Maybe it is because you have photoshopped yourselves into exotic postcards to make it look like you travel to expensive places. Maybe it is because your spelling and grammar are atrocious. If you can not take the time to use spell check and you do not know proper grammar it is going to be very hard to have an intelligent conversation with you. Finally, We do know who you are. We see you at (I named both places of work) and we really can not afford to be seen hanging out with you when you make such a desparate show of being in the LS. Rude, yes, to the point, yes. But they did finally quit contacting us.

 

Sometimes people just don't take No for an answer. You have to get rude toward them to get it through their head that you don't want anything to do with them.

[K&JIntimates 66]

K and I recently put together a profile on SDC. Thus far there are a couple of things that I'm finding annoying about it. First is the people who emphasize over and over again that they will only respond to or are only willing to play with "fit" or "hot" people. I mean, really, who determines hot and fit since it varies so much from person to person? Examples...."PLEASE don't contact us if you haven't been to the gym in the last week ;-)"

This is just a mild version of some of the things people say. I realize that physical attraction is a big part of swinging and I live in Miami where appearance takes on overblown importance but it still annoys me to see people who give the clear impression that if you don't look like hard bodied models than don't bother to email. The cincher is this.....if you look closely at the photos a large portion of the time thin isn't necessarily fit or only one half of the couple has seen the inside of a gym in awhile. The hypocrisy kills me!

Something that I'm seeing recently in a lot of profiles are the ones that state that they will only respond to couples if both parties are in the photos, and usually say it rather rudely, but when you look at their photos there isn't a man in sight. HYPOCRISY! Grrrrr!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

K and I recently put together a profile on SDC. Thus far there are a couple of things that I'm finding annoying about it. First is the people who emphasize over and over again that they will only respond to or are only willing to play with "fit" or "hot" people. I mean, really, who determines hot and fit since it varies so much from person to person? Examples...."PLEASE don't contact us if you haven't been to the gym in the last week ;-)"

This is just a mild version of some of the things people say. I realize that physical attraction is a big part of swinging and I live in Miami where appearance takes on overblown importance but it still annoys me to see people who give the clear impression that if you don't look like hard bodied models than don't bother to email. The cincher is this.....if you look closely at the photos a large portion of the time thin isn't necessarily fit or only one half of the couple has seen the inside of a gym in awhile. The hypocrisy kills me!

Something that I'm seeing recently in a lot of profiles are the ones that state that they will only respond to couples if both parties are in the photos, and usually say it rather rudely, but when you look at their photos there isn't a man in sight. HYPOCRISY! Grrrrr!

 

I remember a while back there was a thread here about a club/party website that actually had height/weight scale to help determine if you could attend a party. I guess if someone took that along with some kind of premise that "HOT" could be put on a scale it would save alot of people time in their search and provide them another filter for their searches. And maybe a copy of their gym contract and recent attendance....

[sweet_tna 680]

I remember a while back there was a thread here about a club/party website that actually had height/weight scale to help determine if you could attend a party. I guess if someone took that along with some kind of premise that "HOT" could be put on a scale it would save alot of people time in their search and provide them another filter for their searches. And maybe a copy of their gym contract and recent attendance....

 

HAH! The gym record still wouldn't help me, even when I was there four days a week . . .

 

=)

[Chicup 41]

K&JIntimates - I'm hurt, you quote me in your sig with an attribute

 

Honestly I don't have much problem with the 'one size only' clubs and parties. First they are pretty rare, its a subset of a subset. There are only so many swingers and even less are going to fit that profile. Odds are not matter what your size/looks it won't affect your swinging one bit.

 

Back when we were on LL, their was some sort of 'invite only' group based on looks that had big national events. Again I don't recall any of the party names, nor the couple who ran them log on name, but if you were on LL a few years ago you would most likely recall them. Anyways the guy who ran them was a dill weed personality wise, an we never tried to attend any of them. But the fact that his parties existed did not stop us from attending socials or meeting new people.

 

People who are left out feel hurt of course, and lash out, its human nature, and despite being adults we act the same as 15 year old highschool cliques defending or attacking the practice.

 

Honestly I wish we had a local group who only accepted couples 'like us' who we would be attracted too. It would be nice to filter out everyone you are not interested in and get down to it when you have such limited time. When we started doing this we had no kids and limited responsibilities time wise, now we might see a club once every few months if we push it.

[K&JIntimates 66]

K&JIntimates - I'm hurt, you quote me in your sig with an attribute

 

I wanted to give credit where credit was due but was finding it difficult to cram the whole quote in there with proper credit attached to it.

 

It was a silly question but your answer cracked me up!

[MrkLin 393]

You might say our SLS profile is sort of rude to certain people, but we really try to avoid it. The only people we're even remotely rude to are married, non-lifestyle men out to cheat on their wives. And even then, while I'm rather abrupt, I try to be diplomatic about it. (Diplomacy being the ability to keep saying 'nice doggy' while you're looking for a rock...)

 

We don't put unreasonable limits on ourselves, nor do we try to project that image. We're real people - a little older than some, a little shorter than others, and a little heavier than the rest. We're open to contact from everyone. Now, we understand that nobody can be attracted to everyone, and if we're not interested, we'll tell you in a very nice way that we just don't think we're compatible. About the only thing we ask in return is common courtesy - if we contact you, at least have the decency to tell us that you're not interested. We're grown-ups - we can take it.

 

Oh, and we bypass the profiles that focus on the superficial too. If the profile uses the term HWP more than three times in the first paragraph, my eyes glaze over and my cursor automatically hits that little X in the top right of the screen faster than you can say, "GET OVER YOURSELF!"

[NotSorry 155]

Their profiles give you an insight into their personalities.

 

It continues to amaze me how little time some people actually put into their profiles and expect so much in return.

 

Just like when you go to party/club looking for a hookup. You look at how they look, how they dress, how they talk and many other factors. Certain things will interest you and other things will turn you off. These things give you an insight into their personalities just like the profiles that are listed online.

 

First impressions are important even on-line. So you really should take your time and have a well written profile with appropriate pictures.

 

So if you want to be taken seriously, take a bathe, use spell check, dress nice, take a nice picture (of both of you), explain what you are looking for, brush your teeth, use appropriate punctuation... Got the idea:cool:

 

You are so right. I feel like such a jerk when I am viewing profiles sometimes because I think I am being incredibly picky... However, if you are the type to completely disregard spelling and grammar, use a picture of your butt as your main profile pic or bash others in your profile then you are probably not for us.

 

-Mrs. NotSorry

[Tia Vampire 167]

If we come off as being rude on our profile, we don't mean to be. We just know what we are looking for. The way some people describe what they want and don't want could be cleaned up by less picking or awful descriptions.