"Beautiful People Only!" Swing Clubs/Groups

[incommunicado 228]

Anyone encountered this "Beautiful People Only!" thing? Anyone been to one? Thoughts? Reactions? Feelings on the subject?

[BradAndJanet 70]

We would be staying away, as we are not 'beautiful people', at least on the outside. If some folks want to limit themselves to that, then, by all means, they're free to do so. I think they're missing out on some wonderful, funny, intelligent people, but everybody has their own idea of what they're looking for.

[naughty A 23]

yes it is fairly common. These clubs also tend to form cliques and do not welcome newcomers of any kind - beautiful or not. They tend not to be very fun evenings for people outside the group.

 

And vain as it sounds I do consider myself among the beautiful people.

 

I prefer to find my partners among people I find physically attractive to me but I personally am looking at more than just physical attributes. I don't reject someone only on looks (My number #1 prerequisite is that they not smoke)

 

It is the easiest quick screen method. I'm sure I'm not the only one with a mental check list of what I want and don't want in a playmate.

 

Having said that I often find that a personality can be more attractive than someones physical appearance and mental attraction can be better than physical.

 

Trying to confine myself to the question at hand.

[CanadianCouple 18]

This subject has come up in various locations on the board. It invariably boils down to whether or not a person's physical appearance and features should be the sole criteria for choosing partners -- or in this case, admitting people into a club. As far as the latter goes, I could look like Brad Pitt and I'd still tell that club to go to hell - that's no different than admitting people only of a particular race. It's also the reason why I've railed numerous times against ads that specify pretty people only. People who seek only the physically beautiful are petty and pretentious IMO, and while I recognized everyone has their preferences, that doesn't necessarily mean being completely exclusionary to everyone else out there. We all have something to offer, if not a 25 inch waistline.

[fun_pairTX 26]

There is nothing wrong witn good looks, I get a major laugh from some of the types that sport them however. On the dance floor I love to roar at the folks that compete for mirror space. In personal experience I can say that women with a few extra pounds are MUCH better playmates. Not a prejudice, but a personal experience.

[incommunicado 228]

I posted the topic because I just read an article about it in Playboy, and found it interesting. By referral only, people with the right look and all the right stuff, can find there way onto the ground floor of a swinger's network that culminates at the top in some pretty racey parties where only the most beautiful women and their dates are allowed to play. Apparently, quite a bit of hooking up can occur on your way up the ladder.

 

I will admit though, the concept only reinforces my anxiety about trying the club scene. My wife and I are in our early to mid thirties and I will admit I am interested in keeping our swinging to our own age range. The dilemma, is that others in that range can be fairly demanding. This would be no problem for my wife, who is attractive, sexy, intelligent, and sexually aggressive. I, on the other hand am short (5'2") , boyish and cute. I will also admit, while I'm on the couch, that I'm just normally endowed (6" hard) and I keep hearing that most of the women who run in the up to 35 age range are seeking some extra-large alternatives.

 

I just like the idea of making good friends that we can also have sex with if the mood strikes us. It would be nice to have a club adventure, but, I would at least like to leave with my ego intact.

[naughty A 23]

Quote

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

This subject has come up in various locations on the board. It invariably boils down to whether or not a person's physical appearance and features should be the sole criteria for choosing partners -- or in this case, admitting people into a club. As far as the latter goes, I could look like Brad Pitt and I'd still tell that club to go to hell - that's no different than admitting people only of a particular race. It's also the reason why I've railed numerous times against ads that specify pretty people only. People who seek only the physically beautiful are petty and pretentious IMO, and while I recognized everyone has their preferences, that doesn't necessarily mean being completely exclusionary to everyone else out there. We all have something to offer, if not a 25 inch waistline.

 

Did I say any of this in my post - NO

 

I was addressing the ORIGINAL question - does it happen - the answer is yes.

 

Can you deny that you Never - Ever ruled someone out because their looks didn't do anything for you?

 

And to the original person who posted - you'll be fine - everyone eventually finds the environment/particular club that they are comfortable in.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by naughty A

Did I say any of this in my post - NO

 

No, I said it.

 

I was addressing the ORIGINAL question - does it happen - the answer is yes.

 

Yes, it does happen. That doesn't make it right, but it does happen.

 

Can you deny that you Never - Ever ruled someone out because their looks didn't do anything for you?

 

Based on their physical features alone, yes, I can safely say we've never ruled anyone out based on that alone. Dirty and unkempt is another matter, entirely preventable, and we certainly have ruled out on that.

 

And to the original person who posted - you'll be fine - everyone eventually finds the environment/particular club that they are comfortable in.

 

I'm not sure why, but based on your response to this and another comment you made in another post, you seem irritated by my response. Care to explain why?

[Roxysbayou 20]

I would not go to a club like that. Who are they to say who I can choose to swing with? I can decide that on my own. I have attended a party where I was shunned. I think that I am nice looking so I don't think that's why. I think it had more to do with age and being an outsider. But I know how it feels now. And I will never attend another one of their parties.

[naughty A 23]

Quote

I'm not sure why, but based on your response to this and another comment you made in another post, you seem irritated by my response. Care to explain why?

 

As it happens I felt and do feel personally attacked for expressing my views. Not just in this forum by yourself but in others where I have posted my opinion.

 

I was welcomed for my experience and was asked to hopefully contribute some things that I have learned. I have been simply trying to do that.

 

The point that I was trying to make to you and those people who use quotes is that if you quote back ALL my words I can't tell what specifically you are referring to.

 

The original point that I was trying to make to the questioner is that being beautiful does not always get you into the clique. AND that I have been excluded not based on looks but on the fact that they were a closed group - not open to newcomers.

 

I get that impression here as well. This is a closed group. I get it. Only here it isn't looks you discriminate against its opinions.

 

In telling Incommunicado that people do find the right niche for them - well hey- you try different clubs until you find one that fits what you are looking for: be it your same taste in music or same age group or level of hygiene or number of tattoos or some other common interest that you share with that particular group.

 

Clubs that have beautiful people cliques are not fun. I don't go there either, but then they don't need or want us, Dan, do they.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by naughty A

As it happens I felt and do feel personally attacked for expressing my views. Not just in this forum by yourself but in others where I have posted my opinion.

 

I was welcomed for my experience and was asked to hopefully contribute some things that I have learned. I have been simply trying to do that.

 

The point that I was trying to make to you and those people who use quotes is that if you quote back ALL my words I can't tell what specifically you are referring to.

 

The original point that I was trying to make to the questioner is that being beautiful does not always get you into the clique. AND that I have been excluded not based on looks but on the fact that they were a closed group - not open to newcomers.

 

I get that impression here as well. This is a closed group. I get it. Only here it isn't looks you discriminate against its opinions.

 

In telling Incommunicado that people do find the right niche for them - well hey- you try different clubs until you find one that fits what you are looking for: be it your same taste in music or same age group or level of hygiene or number of tattoos or some other common interest that you share with that particular group.

 

Clubs that have beautiful people cliques are not fun. I don't go there either, but then they don't need or want us, Dan, do they.

 

 

Bad day?

 

How on earth do you interpret my post to you as an attack? Cripes lady, get a clue.

 

I often highlight an entire quote when addressing that post, that way I can have both your post and the answer I'm composing in the same window while I'm actually writing a reply. I can't believe you think it's something to bitch about, I've never heard anyone complain about it before.

 

I certainly hope you're easier to get along with in person than in here. Lighten up, sweetie.

 

Dan

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

This subject has come up in various locations on the board. It invariably boils down to whether or not a person's physical appearance and features should be the sole criteria for choosing partners -- or in this case, admitting people into a club. As far as the latter goes, I could look like Brad Pitt and I'd still tell that club to go to hell - that's no different than admitting people only of a particular race. It's also the reason why I've railed numerous times against ads that specify pretty people only. People who seek only the physically beautiful are petty and pretentious IMO, and while I recognized everyone has their preferences, that doesn't necessarily mean being completely exclusionary to everyone else out there. We all have something to offer, if not a 25 inch waistline.

 

Dan

 

How on earth did she interpret this as a personal attack?

 

Dan

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Originally posted by incommunicado

I, on the other hand am short (5'2") , boyish and cute. I will also admit, while I'm on the couch, that I'm just normally endowed (6" hard)

 

Dude, if you are 5'2" with a 6 " cock, you are over endowed for your proportion At worse, you are middle average cock size on a slightly smaller than average frame. I wouldn't complain a bit if I were you.

 

As far as clubs, check out TPA. It's with in an hour of Baltimore. There are ALL types of people there. From the very pretty to the maybe not so pretty. There are short ones, fat ones, tall ones, skinny ones- but most of all, they are all pretty friendly ones.

 

If there is some sort of beauty pecking order I haven't seen it. Of course God knows I would never be invited into it

 

Good luck!

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

How on earth did she interpret this as a personal attack?

 

Dan

 

Well, Dan, since you asked...

 

"Cripes, Lady! Get a clue!" is both condescending and doesn't impart a great deal of information. You often post about those stupid "liberals" who seem to be anyone who disagrees with you. You give us the impression that if we don't think you are right on any given subject, it's because we're stupid, never that you may have made a mistake or just have a different opinion. I'm not saying this is the way it is, just that it's the way you come across in your posts.

 

You are kind and generous in your postings on sexual matters and very helpful; I'm sure many swingers, potential and experienced have learned a lot from you. But folks who are fit and prefer to swing with those who are fit are "petty and pretentious." We, like you, look for people we can enjoy talking with. Others look for folks whose bodies fit theirs well. Each has the right to their own focus.

 

You're a great guy, Dan. If you'd just lighten up on people who don't agree with you, you'd be perfect.

 

Mr. Alura

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by naughty A

 

The original point that I was trying to make to the questioner is that being beautiful does not always get you into the clique. AND that I have been excluded not based on looks but on the fact that they were a closed group - not open to newcomers.

 

I get that impression here as well. This is a closed group. I get it. Only here it isn't looks you discriminate against its opinions.

 

This is not a closed group, Naughty A, and I, for one, have enjoyed your posts and consider you a real asset to this board. We are open to newcomers; at least this "we" is.

 

Mr. Alura

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by Alura

Well, Dan, since you asked...

 

"Cripes, Lady! Get a clue!" is both condescending and doesn't impart a great deal of information. You often post about those stupid "liberals" who seem to be anyone who disagrees with you. You give us the impression that if we don't think you are right on any given subject, it's because we're stupid, never that you may have made a mistake or just have a different opinion. I'm not saying this is the way it is, just that it's the way you come across in your posts.

 

You are kind and generous in your postings on sexual matters and very helpful; I'm sure many swingers, potential and experienced have learned a lot from you. But folks who are fit and prefer to swing with those who are fit are "petty and pretentious." We, like you, look for people we can enjoy talking with. Others look for folks whose bodies fit theirs well. Each has the right to their own focus.

 

You're a great guy, Dan. If you'd just lighten up on people who don't agree with you, you'd be perfect.

 

Mr. Alura

 

The get a clue remark was a frustrated response to her assertion my first post to her was a personal attack. My apologies.

 

I'm still waiting for her to explain how she could interpret it as such. And I still stand by my assertion that if anyone judges others only on their physical features and nothing else, yes, they are petty and pretentious. Obviously this doesn't include naughty, she made it clear in her first post she takes personality into consideration as well. Perhaps I should have highlighted only that section of her post.

 

Speaking of, I'm still scratching my head over her railing against having her entire post highlighted.

 

Dan

[naughty A 23]

petty and pretentious

 

yup that's what I thought.

 

Dan, It was not the first time that day someone had quoted back my entire post at me without clear explanation.

 

Quotes my "writer's guide" tells me are to be used selectively, and in brief, the explanation which follows must be longer than the quote. In my experience they are used only to illustrate a point in your argument.

 

Can we just chalk up my "sensitivity" to newness, too much caffeine, not enough sleep and the fact that I have a deadline approaching and cannot answer your post just now. The stupid computer keeps popping up with mail messages and I don't need that distraction either.

 

Thank you Mr. Alura for restoring my faith in this community.

 

I'm not interested in continuing this discussion any further please.

 

back to WORK.

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

,,, I still stand by my assertion that if anyone judges others only on their physical features and nothing else, yes, they are petty and pretentious. Dan

 

I can't fully disagree with you on this one, Dan. I think there are probably more "beautiful" people who seek "beautiful" people who also have pleasant personalities than those who seek only good looks. The latter are probably more at ease in an on-premises club having sex with "beautiful" strangers, something Mrs. Alura and I don't understand at all.

 

We'll continue our policy of "friends first" and hope for the best on the "attractive" part. Come to think of it, we haven't done too poorly in the past in both categories.

 

Mr. Alura

[DragonsLair 26]

I just want to know who decides if you're beautiful or not? I may look at someone and think they're beautiful and you may think differently. We all have different ideas of what constitutes beauty.

[Alura 2,774]

Yeah, I wondered that too, A. I also wondered if a "beautiful" couple invited a couple they thought to be "beautiful" but the other playmates at the party thought otherwise, what would happen?

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by Alura

I can't fully disagree with you on this one, Dan. I think there are probably more "beautiful" people who seek "beautiful" people who also have pleasant personalities than those who seek only good looks. The latter are probably more at ease in an on-premises club having sex with "beautiful" strangers, something Mrs. Alura and I don't understand at all.

 

We'll continue our policy of "friends first" and hope for the best on the "attractive" part. Come to think of it, we haven't done too poorly in the past in both categories.

 

Mr. Alura

 

Tomorrow evening, we're meeting a new couple for the first time. We've discussed this very topic with them via the computer and over the phone, we've exchanged photos with them, and while none of the four of us will ever grace the cover of a magazine, we're all comfortable with the fact none of us are physically perfect. Thus far there seems to be a good gelling of personalities, and this is what is paramount to us.

 

I get the feeling Annette thought I was calling HER petty and pretentious (NOT the case), even though she stated personality was equally important to her, or words to that effect. I was basically agreeing with her post, but expanding beyond what she'd specifically addressed.

 

Dan

[CanadianCouple 18]

Quote

Originally posted by DragonsLair

I just want to know who decides if you're beautiful or not? I may look at someone and think they're beautiful and you may think differently. We all have different ideas of what constitutes beauty.

 

True, but I think we all know what beautiful constitutes to the public at large. Your avatar is a good example, agreed?

[CanadianCouple 18]

Lori --

 

Thanks so much for the kind words. We feel the same about you two as well.

 

I took what I thought was great pains to explain to naughty that I did not think she was 'petty and pretentious', by rote of the fact she clearly stated she considered personality as important as looks -- which I have no qualms about whatsoever. The shallow people I alluded to do NOT include her, judging by what I've read in her posts thus far.

 

Naughty, I apologize once again, and accept your apology warmly.

 

Lori, mind if I ask a question? In another thread you alluded to the fact you and Gene weren't meeting any new couples. Are you taking a temporary hiatus, or have you given up the lifestyle altogether? I hope everything's okay with you both.

 

Last Wednesday, we met a wonderful new couple for the first time. They live about three hours away, and were in our city on a work related visit. We ate dinner with them in a local restaurant, and spent three terrific hours getting to know each other. In fact, after the first half hour or so, it was as if we'd known each other for years. The ladies laughed so hard tears came to their eyes, and the other fellow and myself got along great as well. Time will tell where this goes, but regardless, we've made wonderful new friends.

 

Dan

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

Time will tell where this goes, but regardless, we've made wonderful new friends.

 

Dan

 

That's what the lifestyle is all about, Dan. We're glad to hear it was a successful meeting and that y'all enjoyed it.

 

Alura

[Guest xerogirl]

I know that "Beautiful People" get more action in the lifestyle, we live in world that is shallow and narrow minded. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but, it seems NO MATTER HOW UNATTRACTIVE a lady is if she can wear a size 5-7 she will be picked over a size 18 or larger gal that is more attractive at a club "most times". I think parties that say "beautiful people" don't even care what the face is as long as they can pick you up, see your rib cage thin. I m not saying this is right or wrong I know it just IS! Personally people do want to swing with people who have body types close to their own "even me". I am a BBW many gals write that they are BBW when they are "not" they are just heavy and would not be sexy thin either. I am a true BBW I think i'm very sexy I am getting my weight off slowly. The whole point here is beautiful=thin in America sadly for me

 

 

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by xerogirl

I know that "Beautiful People" get more action in the lifestyle, we live in world that is shallow and narrow minded. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but, it seems NO MATTER HOW UNATTRACTIVE a lady is if she can wear a size 5-7 she will be picked over a size 18 or larger gal that is more attractive at a club "most times". I think parties that say "beautiful people" don't even care what the face is as long as they can pick you up, see your rib cage thin. I m not saying this is right or wrong I know it just IS! Personally people do want to swing with people who have body types close to their own "even me". I am a BBW many gals write that they are BBW when they are "not" they are just heavy and would not be sexy thin either. I am a true BBW I think i'm very sexy I am getting my weight off slowly. The whole point here is beautiful=thin in America sadly for me

 

 

 

 

Your post illustrates exactly how we feel. Much too often people get the short shrift in this because they're considered too heavy, but our experience has been those heavier people are often much nicer to be around. This pervasive attitude of 'beauty only' also discourages many of the average people out there who are genuinely curious about the lifestyle, but feel their physical features would preclude them from engaging in swinging, or worse still, make them a laughing stock.

 

Swing clubs do themselves a disservice IMO, by only portraying the young and beautiful in their online ads. How many 200+ lb women are going to feel they'll be welcomed there?

 

This is one couple who place no such restrictions on our criteria for potential partners.

 

Dan

[Couple_DFW 15]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX

There is nothing wrong witn good looks, I get a major laugh from some of the types that sport them however. On the dance floor I love to roar at the folks that compete for mirror space. In personal experience I can say that women with a few extra pounds are MUCH better playmates. Not a prejudice, but a personal experience.

 

Just signed up with this board today and have been reading off and on all afternoon. I am finding down to earth honest people and I like that. Thank you for your response to the Pretty People issue.

[Ashley 22]

I would like to know how they pick their members. Do you have to audition or something? LOL I've been to a few clubs where I felt I didn't fit in but I've never been outright barred.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

I've had more than my share of experiences with the so-called "beautiful people" crowd, and I think those experiences are rather illustrative of the mindset of most of the "Barbie and Ken clones", as I call them.

 

The very first lifestyle party I ever attended was at a party house here in Houston. My girlfriend at the time and I, even though we'd had no previous swinging experience, decided to go and check it out. Bear in mind that while we were not cutouts of Brad Pitt or Catherine Zeta Jones, neither would we make a freight train take a dirt road; in her case, while she was what most would consider a BBW, she was still quite pretty. We get to the party house, and about 90% of the attendees were of the aforementioned Barbie and Ken clone sort. And sure enough, to that segment of the crowd, we simply did not exist.

 

At one point, my g/f was in a group of people who were standing around talking. Along comes this paragon of masculine beauty who walks up and literally elbows her aside like she was a piece of furniture. Taking great umbrage at this, I was on my way to taking this miscreant's head off (anyone who disses my woman had better give their soul to God, because your ass is mine), but my g/f saw me coming and dragged me outside until I cooled off.

 

A little later, we decided to get in the hot tub. There were a few other couples already in it, but there was room for us. The moment we got in, everyone else got out. We stayed in the tub about 20 minutes, while the rest of the hot tub users sat across the patio waiting. As soon as we got out, they all piled back in. (It should be noted that neither of us were stupid, nor pushy, and would never come on to anyone who we did not think would be receptive to such an advance.)

 

Needless to say, we left shortly thereafter and never attended another party at that site. In retrospect we were not all that surprised at the reception we got. Both of us had had dealings with "attractive" people before, and we had no illusions on that score. Plus, based on the conversations we listened to that night, none of them were what you would call the brightest bulbs on the string. Yeah, we might have jumped in bed with some of them based on their beauty quotient, but as soon as the deed was done, we would have ran from the room to keep our heads from exploding. The term "shallow" did not begin to cover it.

 

Another example that comes to mind was the time we went to a swinger's club called Wish's. Wish's is probably the oldest lifestyle club in Houston, and we had heard a great deal about it. We made reservations one evening and upon arrival, made an interesting discovery; the owners of the place decide where you sit when you arrive. And we found ourselves sitting at what I called the "Group W" table; two or three cafeteria-style tables set end-to-end off in a dark corner of the place. We got there fairly early and as the evening wore on, we noted that the good tables (those around the dance floor or up on the raised section of the club) were all given to the Barbie and Ken clones, whereas all of us too-tall-too-short-too-fat-too-thin-too-whatever (by the owner's standards) people were parked at the Group W table. Given that we still had to pay upwards of $100 for the priviledge of getting into this place for the evening, this dog was decidedly not going to hunt, and needless to say, we never went back there either. (We have talked to a number of other less-than-perfect looks who had been there, who also got the same seating arrangement, so it was not just our own paranoia at work here. Since then we found a number of other lifestyle clubs around town that treat everyone the same, regardless of where they sit on the beauty scale, which was a pleasant change.)

 

Don't get me wrong; I have no illusions about the world as it is, particularly where people's relative attractiveness is concerned. (And yes, we have turned couples down due to their looks, although it was more a matter of personal grooming and apparent hygiene, what and how they wrote, etc, than how "pretty" they were or were not, and we at least had the courtesy to write back and say "no, but thanks for asking"). And we certainly don't expect anything from the twenty or thirtysomething "Body by Fisher" crowd, being Mr. and Ms. Average Looks. But there is definitely a dichotomy in the lifestyle between the "beautiful people" and the "Joe and Jane Average" crowd, and by and large each side stays within it's own group. This is just human nature, and only a fool tries to buck that.

 

I reckon my only real bitch is how many of those on the "beautiful people" side tend to be so unremittingly rude about it if someone who does not measure up, so to speak, makes the mistake of approaching them. I guess it's not really so surprising; my wife and I were just discussing how manners and politeness are often no longer taught by parents to their kids anymore, and have not been for some time, so such ill manners are not so surprising.

[M&B 21]

I will have to admit that I would only play with beautiful people. Truth is, and its been some time, we only played with people we found beautiful.

 

Funny thing, though. I never met an ugly person. Ever. I avoid mirrors at all cost.

[Couple_DFW 15]

Quote

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny

I've had more than my share of experiences with the so-called "beautiful people" crowd, and I think those experiences are rather illustrative of the mindset of most of the "Barbie and Ken clones", as I call them.

I could not agree more. Several years back my husband and I would frequent a club in Dallas where it is said that only the pretty people go. I am by no means considered an unattractive woman and I have had to carry a stick around for 14 years to beat a lot of people (women and men alike) off of my husband. I am however what one would consider curvy, voluptuous, thick...... we never hooked up with any of the couples there. We ended up at a party with the "clique" at a mutual friend's house. It amazed me that those people wouldn't speak to us there either. I'm with you....after listening to their conversations I wouldn't have gone to Jack-in-the-Box with them much less to bedroom. I think we all, as human beings, base too much on looks but I feel that it is just human nature and we may not be able to help ourselves. Most everyone chooses their partners based on looks to some degree, be that good or bad. Some of the prettiest people I know started out not so pretty at first site, now they are beautiful to me...after all...it is only skin deep.

[NotsoNew 17]

We actually did have an experience like this. We went to a club where we go occasionally when they were hosting a group we had never heard of before. Internet searches came up with nothing, so we decided to stick with our plans.

 

Anyway, this group (I can not remember the name) only admitted people of a certain age/type (they were VERY young) and it was by invitiation only. Some of them were nice (I spoke to a few and they were the ones that gave me the history of the group) but some others were very standoffish and totally into themselves. In fact, there was one couple there that repeatedly tried to speak with members of the group and were basically ignored. There is nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with a group but I think people should at least be repectful and honest.

 

Some of the conversations that I heard that night were pretty funny. Kind of made me think that I was in high school again.

 

One thing I noticed (and I could be wrong in my observation) that many of the members seemed to not really know the basic concepts of swinging (not that we are experts). But I saw a lot of disrespect and a few "misunderstandings" which I had never seen before at the club. Forgive me if I seem harsh in this statement, but swinging in my mind is not about being a slut. And one woman there fit the true definition. She seemed to be the main cause of serveral of the misunderstandings and showed total disrespect to some 1/2's of couples even in her own group.

 

We did have fun that night and ended up chatting with a few of the couples that were there. But was definately not a crowd that we would want to hang out with on a regular basis. It was eye-opening to see a totally different side of the lifestyle.

[thekolonel 15]

The good parties here in NYC all have some kind of screening, just as much for attitude as for looks. The guests at the party I went to on Saturday were definitely relatively young and good looking, but it's not like they were all snobbish models or anything. The well-known public clubs around here have a rep for being kinda nasty, so I think some kind of screening is a must.

[suntory 15]

I think it is a great idea for the beautiful clubs!! And it is fair enough!! I am 30yr and my wife the same age. My wife is rather good looking and I nor her could think of anything worse that having sex with a 40 yr old fatty with a ten foot nose!! Sex isn't like just going to a party and choosing who you are talking to. It is much more personal than that!! Christ it is SEX. If over the hill people are offended and have some sort of complex then bad luck, that's how it is, that's life. I know myself I wouldn't want to have sex with a women too much older than I it for me would be a turn-off. I read on one of the posts apart a couple going to a beautiful club and getting in a hot tub and the other couple leaving...perhaps you guys were ugly...bad luck that's how it is!! Would you want to get into a hot tub with people 30 years older and worse for wear!!

 

I think its also great to segregate the ages also...the younger do have a problem with fucking with the older and the beautiful with the ugly...but obviously the other way around has no problem and is insulted when told they are unattractive. GROW UP!! This isn't bible class, this is SEX, FUCKING or whatever you want to call it and people have to be turned on and NOT turned off...that's what it is about isn't it?!

[austxmark 41]

I do not think its so much the fact that the beautiful people stick to each other as it is the rudeness in the response that is given when approached by a couple less attractive. I mean, being polite costs a person nothing and causes less hurt feelings. So when one couple is not interested in another, a simple thank you, but not what we are looking for is sufficient.

 

This being said I will say that sometimes people do not take the hint and more forceful statements must be taken. But the hallmark of class is the ability to handle difficult situations with tact and consideration. So those of you that are physically beautiful on the outside might consider expanding that beauty to the inside and show this class.

[cntrlnjcpl 15]

We are new here and wanted to join in with our responce. New Jersey has pretty much the same types of clubs, open mostly to the pretty people and all others are ignored. And you know what if this is what they want then find do it, after all it is a free country. What we did was start our own meet & greets for ALL PEOPLE in our area. Started it about a year ago, excluded no couples at all, all we asked was that you were a couple. We have now grown from our first party of around 10-15 couples to present where at any given party we get 75-100 cpls. Plenty of different types of people for all to pick from and all have a great night of fun. So to you all that don't like the idea of the clubs excluding people, do what we did and find a nice bar looking for the business and have your own. It does help to find a bar that is in a motel for people to get rooms

[belladonna 15]

Originally posted by austxmark

I do not think its so much the fact that the beautiful people stick to each other as it is the rudeness in the response that is given when approached by a couple less attractive. I mean, being polite costs a person nothing and causes less hurt feelings. So when one couple is not interested in another, a simple thank you, but not what we are looking for is sufficient.

 

This being said I will say that sometimes people do not take the hint and more forceful statements must be taken. But the hallmark of class is the ability to handle difficult situations with tact and consideration. So those of you that are physically beautiful on the outside might consider expanding that beauty to the inside and show this class.

 

Bad manners is worse. I hope the original poster never gains weight or wrinkles with age.

[bbcpl4cpl 17]

Quote

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

This subject has come up in various locations on the board. It invariably boils down to whether or not a person's physical appearance and features should be the sole criteria for choosing partners -- or in this case, admitting people into a club. As far as the latter goes, I could look like Brad Pitt and I'd still tell that club to go to hell - that's no different than admitting people only of a particular race. It's also the reason why I've railed numerous times against ads that specify pretty people only. People who seek only the physically beautiful are petty and pretentious IMO, and while I recognized everyone has their preferences, that doesn't necessarily mean being completely exclusionary to everyone else out there. We all have something to offer, if not a 25 inch waistline.

 

All I can say to this is "Hear Hear"! My thoughts and sentiments exactly. It's so narrow minded to base things on looks.

[thekolonel 15]

The problem I have with the events that screen for looks is that there seems to be a higher standard at work for the women than the men. There's such an emphasis on female looks.

 

All an out-of-shape guy with a big pot belly has to do is throw on some decent clothes and show up with a hot babe and he's golden. What happens is of course you have more beautiful women around than men, and it is harder to find play partners we both find attractive.

[Couple_DFW 15]

Quote

Originally posted by suntory

I think it is a great idea for the beautiful clubs!! And it is fair enough!! I am 30yr and my wife the same age. My wife is rather good looking and I nor her could think of anything worse that having sex with a 40 yr old fatty with a ten foot nose!! Sex isn't like just going to a party and choosing who you are talking to. It is much more personal than that!! Christ it is SEX. If over the hill people are offended and have some sort of complex then bad luck, that's how it is, that's life. I know myself I wouldn't want to have sex with a women too much older than I it for me would be a turn-off. I read on one of the posts apart a couple going to a beautiful club and getting in a hot tub and the other couple leaving...perhaps you guys were ugly...bad luck that's how it is!! Would you want to get into a hot tub with people 30 years older and worse for wear!!

 

I think its also great to segregate the ages also...the younger do have a problem with fucking with the older and the beautiful with the ugly...but obviously the other way around has no problem and is insulted when told they are unattractive. GROW UP!! This isn't bible class, this is SEX, FUCKING or whatever you want to call it and people have to be turned on and NOT turned off...that's what it is about isn't it?!

 

I THINK YOU ARE AN ASS!!! You are the type of person that we are talking about!! It's one thing to have your preferences but it's another to just be out and out rude!!

 

I don't care how attractive you are, with an attitude like yours, you just became very ugly. I'd be with Atilla the Hun before I would be with you.

 

And for what's it's worth...most think of me as one of the beautiful ones!! I choose not to think of myself that way. I am just a human being...how others perceive me is their problem or not.

[windsor4fun2 130]

Quote

Originally posted by Couple_DFW

I THINK YOU ARE AN ASS!!!()() You are the type of person that we are talking about!! It's one thing to have your preferences but it's another to just be out and out rude!!

 

I don't care how attractive you are, with an attitude like yours, you just became very ugly. I'd be with Atilla the Hun before I would be with you.

 

I couldn't agree more.

[dentwebb 15]

I read all the post on our site tonight, and there must have been a post about beautiful people vs everyone else. I sure noticed some polarized comments and experiences.

 

I just want to put my meager two cents in. We are all people with different illusions and delusions about not only ourselves but also everyone else.

 

I think we should all be polite and respectful of everyone! I have been with both the beautiful people and the everyone else people, and I have found disrespectful, rude in both categories.

 

From what I have found over my short life of 52 years, that most everyone whether they be not so beautiful or beautiful, don't really get it that there is always someone that thinks they aren't of the beautiful class!!

 

I do as I am sure many here already know, that most of the younger swingers in the group don't have the experience nor experiences to realize that there is always someone more beautiful than they are.

 

My suggestion is we all try to be polite and respectful to anyone and everyone. Everyone has a illusion as to who they are and how beautiful they think they are.

[yawanna 17]

Would you apply to get an invitation?

 

It's an after club on premise party, from about midnight to 5 a.m. You pay to attend and BYOB. It is only available to people who are in their mid 20's, 30's to mid 40's who are height and weight proportionate and above average in looks. These qualifications have to be verified by the party organizers beforehand, an in person interview.

 

What do you think about this type of swinger event? IS it a swinger event if age and looks are the criteria?

[BradAndJanet 70]

Well, I suppose it qualifies as a swinger event, but it's not something we would want to attend. I doubt we'd make the cut anyhow, being old and ugly

 

Doesn't matter to us anyhow, we're still having fun!

[saranmark 15]

You have to go through an interviewing process? Jeez! I can tell you that I would probably NOT go to the trouble!

 

SARA

[Alura 2,774]

Mrs. Alura would get an invitation but we always play together so I guess we wouldn't go.

 

Mr. Alura

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Quote

Originally posted by Alura

Mrs. Alura would get an invitation but we always play together so I guess we wouldn't go.

 

Well, Mr. Alura...I guess if Mrs. Alura decides to go alone, you and I could catch a movie or something. Shuffleboard anyone?

 

I don't think I'll be invited either. Just can't imagine why...

 

OK, yawanna...serious answer? No, I don't think I would want to attend even if I did meet their "criteria." That kind of stuff makes me uncomfortable - I don't like being measured. - EBF

[lovers 25]

Right or wrong, there seems to be a movement towards this sort of establishment. This is the second such club that we've heard of in the last little while. On one hand we're bothered by it because the day may come where we would not be invited to such a party. On the other hand, we've been to many parties where we made a bee-line to the exit because we were totally unattracted to anyone there which makes this sort of club appealing seeing as we likely fit their requirements.

 

Maybe there should be clubs where people who are average looking who weigh 220 + lbs are the only ones allowed to attend. That would even things up don't you think?

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Quote

Originally posted by lovers

Right or wrong, there seems to be a movement towards this sort of establishment. This is the second such club that we've heard of in the last little while. On one hand we're bothered by it because the day may come where we would not be invited to such a party. On the other hand, we've been to many parties where we made a bee-line to the exit because we were totally unattracted to anyone there which makes this sort of club appealing seeing as we likely fit their requirements.

 

Maybe there should be clubs where people who are average looking who weigh 220 + lbs are the only ones allowed to attend. That would even things up don't you think?

 

Well, I suppose that is one way to look at it, but seems to me one would miss out on meeting a lot of wonderful people that just don't fit the criteria.

[yawanna 17]

Since when has swinging been about meeting requirements of age, size and 'beauty'?

 

NASCA advocates that in swinging, people be judged upon by their own merits (EOLO = equal opportunity lifestyle organization).

Supposedly swinging is about choice and respect. So you go to a club and you find no one there you are attracted to. Many of us have had that same experience. Most posters here say you move on. You try another club. But, diversity remains. Or should it?

 

Is a party for the 'beautiful people' only the next wave? Does it have value?

 

Shall we take it a step further and say 'whites only', or 'blacks only', or 'uncut only', or over 50 only' etc etc etc.

 

Are we headed toward segregation?