Swingers Signals

[Guest jef]

I and my wife have come across a few couples, who we were not sure were swingers are not and we found it very difficult to break ice

 

I have always wondered why no one has ever thought of a few secret signals that could convey the message, signals like that of the Masonic Lodge, which are understood only by swingers. These could be simple signals which only swingers understand. This will make things easier for both parties. Signals could be such If not understood by the other couple could simply be ignored without making anything obvious. These could be universal and could be propagated by all swinger websites

[BiloxiCouple 695]

This has been brought up before. Problem with "secret" signals or wearing swingers jewelry is that sooner or later everyone knows the "secret" or knows what the jewelry means. Most people don't want to be identified and remain quietly discrete.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Mr. Alura wrote a great post about this some time ago. Their approach is to bring up different topics in conversation with another couple, and have the subjects get progressively more relevant. For example, "What do you think of... (sports team)"? ... "What do you think of ... (news item)"? ... "What do you think of... (nudist resorts)"? ... "What do you think of ... (flirting when married)"? and so forth, until you are talking about consensual non-monogamy, or have been stopped when the other couple gets uncomfortable prior to that. At some point you have to go out on a limb. We have not done this, because we find playmates who are already swingers and on SLS or at events. But we might try it at some point if the situation comes up.

[realcplub2 513]

Other than the NASCA apple, there are no real symbols they say.. HEY WE ARE INTO IT!

 

Or better yet, SB shirt

[ncmd_couple 597]

Jef,

 

Honestly, all of the points brought up above are very good and valid. Discretion is a major point in the Lifestyle. But after swinging for a while, there is an "attitude" about swingers that is just very different than vanilla folks. It is an openness, a feeling of freedom between a couple you meet. It is an openness about an individual that you meet over drinks. They seem to be more relaxed and more comfortable about themselves and their surroundings. It is a touch in a conversation. It is a brief hug at leaving. Maybe even a kiss. Like a fine wine, it can't be rushed. Interact with people. Read their body language. Are they comfortable with themselves and their partner. Are they comfortable with who they are with others.

 

Of course after a few if the wife flashes her tits at the bar and her her husband says, "Honey, we aren't at the club!" that you can consider to be a good sign.

 

But honestly, you have to extend your senses, listen to people, not be on the hunt, but aware of others around you. Yeah, having a universal sign would be nice. But it would be taken over and then would be useless.

[intuition897 2,179]

I'd just find subtle ways to bring up cues in conversation and wait for them to give an answer that has the right "vibe". For example, a new person in our department noticed a photo of Mr. intuition on my desk and said that he was really attractive. Then she said, "Oh, I guess I probably shouldn't say things like that, it might upset some people." I replied that it didn't bother me in the least and that I took it as a compliment. If she had been a swinger, it would've been a perfect question to glean another puzzle piece. Once you get enough pieces, the picture starts coming together, and you start saying to one another, "You know, they REALLY seem like they could be swingers..." Once you get there and you're interested in upping the ante a bit, you could start asking more pointed questions like Mr. Alura mentioned.

 

Yay, playdar!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Here's a link to the most recent discussion related to this topic:

 

Indicator or signs that someone is a swinger

[sahajacpl 95]

It seems that most couples who are into the swingintion g lifestyle develop a sixth sense as to whether or not a couple might be a swinger. Recently we were at an interactive comedy club with two couples sitting right behind us. Wife sensed that they were swingers based on their interaction with each other and the host. We chatted with them during the intermission and they confirmed that the foursome did swing and were going to spend the night together, swap mates and planned to play and have intercourse with the other's mate

[Guest jef]

In spite of what you all feel about it, I think it would be a good idea to start a good set of signals, that would convey the message. An interested couple will respond while in other case it will be ignored without causing any embarrassment.

[iapr 24]

jef said:

In spite of what you all feel about it, I think it would be a good idea to start a good set of signals, that would convey the message. An interested couple will respond while in other case it will be ignored without causing any embarrassment.

 

In theory that does sound like a good idea but the environment that we all eventually find ourselves in is extremely distracting and it is very easy to miss or misinterpret subtle signals. While it is a nice fantasy that that a couple people could flash a discreet signal to each other and upon recognizing each other, head to the bedroom for some glorious erotic adventures, the truth of it is that for any kind of swinging situation to occur without disaster there has to be clear and honest communication.

 

Even in members only swinger clubs with seasoned and knowledgeable swingers, signals and signs get overlooked and misread. When you mix raging hormones, provocative dress and behaviour and good dose of alcohol it is very easy to overlook signs and signals.

 

The bedrock foundations of swinging include a lot of communication, openness and honesty. If you are going to venture into the realm of swinging the first thing you are going to have to learn is to learn how to communicate

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I vote that all swingers get genital piercings that have 3 hearts on the them. Genital piercings would be discreet, so you wouldn't have to be advertising to the world. To find swingers all we have to do is see the genital piercings.

 

So keep your eyes and flys open.