Advice for larger couples on getting started

[Spokaneman 15]

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on sls but have not paid for the service yet. we have talked about geting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe:cool:

[LFM2 1,482]

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on sls but have not paid for the service yet.

 

Hey there and to the board!!

 

Posting a profile online isn't a bad idea, but some people are turned off by "free" profiles. Sometimes, people can't really afford to pay for an online profile, and that's OK, too. It makes one wonder if you're serious about the lifestyle or if your just a picture hunter or some other type of perv. Just be honest in your search. Never lie about anything, but you don't have to reveal everything. Don't lie about your height/weight or age or what you're looking for. It's not a big deal to most people, but it can be lifestyle death if someone in the swinging world knows you lied.

 

 

we have talked about geting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe:cool:

 

Baby steps. Go only as slow as you're comfortable. Don't worry about size, because, believe me, there are people out there of every size, shape and color that are into swinging and we love the diversity.

 

What you could do is go to a club. That way, you're in the atmosphere, but not forced to play if you don't want to. You can "feel out" the area and if that might be something you're interested in doing. My husband and I don't live anywhere next to a club, so we started out by contacting someone online. That isn't for everyone. In fact, I've read here that it's easier to go to a club, talk to the owners, talk to other patrons and see how the swinging lifestyle might fit into your life.

 

Good luck.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

When you see advertisements of clubs, remember they tend to put a "certain look" on their advertisements. That's what sells. In reality their clientile is more Wal-Mart moms than super-models. Same goes for alot of online advertising.

 

Take it easy and have fun. The most important thing is, that this is about YOU! You have to make yourselves happy first.

[Spokaneman 15]

When you see advertisements of clubs, remember they tend to put a "certain look" on their advertisements. That's what sells. In reality their clientile is more Wal-Mart moms than super-models. Same goes for alot of online advertising.

 

Take it easy and have fun. The most important thing is, that this is about YOU! You have to make yourselves happy first.

 

I agree about the advertisements. but when I do a search for people in my area I see people who are pretty fit lol I guess thats just compared to me =P anyways this is more the concern of my wife, as I dont care what anyone thinks of me lol. there are some clubs near here that we could attend, however my wife is not ready for that and the main reason is, she is worried that she will be the only big girl and she does not want to be shuned I guess. so I am just trying to find ammo to use that will show or convince her that she is not that bad and that a club really is an ok place to attend.

[Spokaneman 15]

we started out by contacting someone online. That isn't for everyone.

 

we have thought about that as well. we look at Craigslist everyday lol and wonder if there is a good couple on there or not.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Welcome to the Swingers Board

 

I am just wondering. Have you had a chance to check out SLS?

 

There seems to be many from your area there.

 

I agree with others, people aren't as judgmental as you might think at most clubs. After all, we go in with our minds open and our clothes on.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Spokane,

 

None of us are perfect. Ok, maybe Julie. But the reality is that in the clubs we attend you can find people of just about every description. The main thing is for the two of you to go and have a great time with each other. It doesn't really matter at this stage whether you play or not. Actually, after a couple of years of doing this, it never matters. We have a great sexy time with each other! I also agree with Fun4Ds. You can post your profile on the personal ads review and get our opinions. The key is for the two of you to have fun together, and play time will come when the stars align!

 

(Hey Julie, did you like that suck-up!)

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

You'll find that larger couples in the lifestyle are more common than you think. I'm sure it varies to some degree by location but we've been to a number of parties where you guys would be average among the crowd. The trick is to not judge everything by one party or one site. It seems like a lot of the websites are centered in different areas. So if you aren't finding couples that fit you on SLS try some of the other sites and see what you can find. Same thing with the clubs.

 

The most important thing though is that you each have to be ok with yourselves. More than size, self esteem will keep you from meeting/clicking with people. If you aren't happy/comfortable with who you are others won't be either.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Dress nice one night. Go to the club and sit very quietly in the corner and have a couple of drinks. Then watch the people and talk about them and what is going on.

 

That's what we did. Best way to figure it out is to go. You just may be surprised.

[dnmnms 55]

I understand what you mean. I have been up in weight and down in weight...

 

When hubby and I look at profiles sometimes I look at the female and think....right...I just bet my tail would be comfortable beside her....That has been the most difficult part for me. While I am down at the moment in weight, I have had 3 kids so hence no firm tight smooth skin LOL. I know 90% of the issue is just in my head but it can cause a mental block.

 

Melody

[Spokaneman 15]

I understand what you mean. I have been up in weight and down in weight....

When hubby and I look at profiles sometimes I look at the female and think....right...I just bet my tail would be comfortable beside her....That has been the most difficult part for me. While I am down at the moment in weight, I have had 3 kids so hence no firm tight smooth skin LOL. I know 90% of the issue is just in my head but it can cause a mental block.

 

Melody

 

ahh yes, you seem to feel the same way my wife does then =P her size and her being comfortable with it, is what is stopping us right now. she always says that if she was thinner, she would be a raging whore lol dunno if thats true but thats how she feels. I guess I am just trying to get some insight into her feelings and how others view it in the swinger comunity. you guys and gals are all very helpful =) I am gonna get her to read this tonight and see what her reaction is =)

[dnmnms 55]

That has been 1 of the hard things to accept in the LS for me. It helped me to get comfortable with the couple 1st before anything else happened. I will admit tho that when the time came to get nekkid I didn't worry about any of those issues LOL.

 

My oldest son was 2FT 1/2" the day he was born so he did a number on my poor tummy LOL but ya know I have learned that I am me...if that's a problem then no hard feelings...

 

Things we females see about ourselves other dont see as much. We are very critical of ourselves. Another thing I have found....while looks are part of the initial attraction it definitely isn't all that matters. Personality and being comfortable with someone else definitely has more sides than looks.

 

Melody

[Spokaneman 15]

Well as the guy, I kinda like my woman with a little meat on her ? I love my wife, and I find myself attracted to short stout women for some reason lol. I am not nearly as concerned about looks as most guys are. I like the average woman, I think a woman looks best when she first gets up in the morning ? but that's just me. my wife however has much more strict standards that needs be met. all in all I am ready to go and have a drink at a swingers club and maybe meet real swinger couples, its just getting my wife to not think she would be the ugly betty at the club lol. I think she looks great, but then she doesn't trust that, cause I am biased =P

[Mr.Essex 264]

It's all about positioning. Practice the "spoons" position and you're golden. And never underestimate the power of a superior endowment. I met a woman with a substantial stomach and a mouth-watering pair of 42 F's. After our first liasion, she timidly asked me to guess her weight. I guessed 90Kg (approximately 200 pounds). She smiled and dragged me to a scale, where I learned that my not very substantial waist had supported a 122Kg (approximately 275 pounds) woman to a multiple orgasm. And she was an exemplary cook!

[SecretAsianMan 348]

There are some groups and clubs which definately do discriminate and try to present this "Ken and Barbie" image - however, based on most of my nearly ten years in the lifestyle - 90% of the people are definately NOT in that image. Some of us are larger - and some of us are more physically fit... be confident and don't be afraid to look around at some clubs first before 'jumping in'

 

You'll probably find that in many instances - you won't be the largest people at any given club... and you won't be judged by your weight... but the weight of your spirit and attitude.

[dnmnms 55]

Another thing I thought of...

Explain to your wife that alot of it is about attitude. Tell her to get prettied up, head out the door to a club and walk in with a confident attitude. To most people a confident good attitude is an attraction. When hubby and I first married I wouldnt wear heels. I am 5'8/5'9 and weigh 150ish where he is 5'6/5'7 about 145. Now add heels and I really tower him but that was my mental thing not his.

 

I know in some of our SLS pics u can tell I am kinda slouching LOL. Tell her if she needs to chat with any of us chics, give us a holla. Most of us understand how she feels.

 

Melody

[realcplub2 513]

Hello and

 

Now then, Of course they commercial sites are gonna put the super models on the main page, and any advert you see, they want you to spend money and give it to them..

 

Its a true paradox, because while yes they maybe members, the members on whole, much like anywhere you go, arent super models, or as was already said, more wal mart folk..

 

As far as your wife goes.. the best thing she can plant firmly in her mind is.. She is a desireable woman, and trust me there are plenty of people that will find her attractive. As was already pointed out, Attitude is everything..

 

Point her two places, before you step out the door, the first to SLS and have her just browse ANYWHERE and look at the profile place holders.. The second is RIGHT HERE..

 

The members here are possibly the best sourse of information ANYWHERE, and the positive re-enforcement she can get here will work wonders as well

[NWGA_Couple 41]

Spokaneman said:

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on sls but have not paid for the service yet. we have talked about geting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe:cool:

 

I know where you are coming from of this. We had these same fears/issuses when we first started looking into this. We were at our heaviest when we 1st started. I was just shy of 6' and north of 400, she was 5'8 and around 280. We even went one further and went to a nudist/swingers resort. We were expecting a cold reception because we had seen all the same sites you've seen. We both also had our personal history of how we'd been treated due to weight. Well, we were in for a surprise. We have never felt as welcome and appreciated as we did that weekend. We just fit in. Most people were smaller than us, but there wasn't any of the stereotypical Ken and Barbie's. Everyone was just normal people like you see in everyday life. There were hairy hippies, average soccer moms, old people, people with scars, and even a couple larger than us. Once the clothes came off and everyone was around the pool everyone was equal. We had people introducing themselves and welcoming us all weekend, and that carried over to the party, and on premises house that night.

 

This is a link to a post I'd done before describing how this affected my wife who was very shy. I will also tell you don't discouraged with going to the "Y" it will take time, but it will be worth it. Not for how others feel about you, but how you physically feel yourself. We used swinging and our health as a motivator to start loosing weight this last January. I've dropped from 410 to 350 and she lost from 280 to the mid 230's. So it can be done, just keep working at it, it takes time. It seems we had a complication though. Loosing the weight and getting in shape gave us more energy and that led to too much time in the bedroom and we seem to now be knocked up. I wonder how that happened.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Glad to have you and maybeforus on the board now

[LOL_OMG 130]

I am not posting this address for any reason other than to make a point.

Southern Charms

 

Spokaneman, have your wife check out this site. After doing so i think she might just relax a bit. All of the larger women, as well as the others have their own websites and it appears to me that they make money off of them. As you can see on all types have websites, just like there is someone for everyone, there is a couple for every couple. Hope this helps.

 

Mr. Omg

[spvcouple 123]

Frankly, we have found that most people really don't care about size. There are some limitations, of course. We are a larger couple too and have friends of all sizes.

 

Your wife should not worry. It seems to us that 95% of the men are okay with larger women. Given a choice between Christie Brinkley or Roaeanne Barr do you know who they would have sex with? BOTH!!! (I guess I am showing my age here, huh?)

 

To us the "life-style" is SO MUCH MORE than just sex. It is a common denominator between us and people who have become really good friends. We like to enjoy their company before we hop in the sack.

 

Our advice is to go to a function of some kind. A group get-together or a swing club. Don't dress like a slob or a snob. Be polite, cordial and friendly. Many times the conversations begin much as you would have with a new neighbor down the block. Let some folks know that you are testing the waters. I'll bet many of her fears fall by the wayside.

 

Oh yeah, needless to say...don't try to talk her INTO anything. That is the surest way to create problems.

[riprat 36]

Our experience has been a little different than most of you. It seems like the "skinny minis" as my wife calls them, won't have anything to do with people that are larger than them. We aren't huge, I'm 5'11" and 200 lbs, and shes 5'3" and 200 lbs, give or take 5 lbs. Our best luck has been with people around our size, or just a little larger. It might also be that we're 49 and 48, and the younger ones don't want anything to do with us "old folks". When we look at profiles, if the female doesn't weigh close to 200, we don't even mail them anymore, but if they contact us first, we will talk with them. Sure, I'd love to fuck a 98 lb woman once or twice, but the ladies with a few extra pounds look good to us, too.

[Chicup 41]

First, welcome. I'm going to cut through the usual on this one and get to the important bits.

 

The way to look at this is like anything else in life, though there is one key detail, you CAN change your weight, but beyond that it doesn't change. If you have red hair, are very short, are very tall, talk funny, have one eye higher than the other, bad teeth, good teeth, B.O., perfume, small tits, big tits, *insert race* here, etc etc SOMEONE will reject you for that reason. Likewise someone would play with you, perhaps for that reason. Its a cliche but there is someone for everyone out there, even in swinging.

 

Now lets go a bit further. Clubs often get a bit stereotyped. Some are known for people being more fat, others for more skinny people, some seem to attract an interracial crowd, etc. In my area, you would have no problem with your weight with one club we know of, and would be completely rejected by another. Its going to be up to you to explore where you fit in best. As a rule, you will be limited to couples in your same weight range, and before someone tells me otherwise, its not universal, tastes always vary.

 

As long as you go in with the attitude that not everyone will want to play with you (and this applies to ALL couples regardless of looks) you will find people willing. The question is of course, are you attracted to them as well.

 

My wife and my weight have yo-yoed quite a bit since we started swinging. Interesting to us, was a few years ago after the birth of a child we got back into swinging and at the time we had both let ourselves 'go'. New baby, lack of motivation, playing computer games (for me) made us heavier than we had ever been. We STARTED to get back into shape and thought we were 'pretty good' to put an add up. Well fast forward another year of mild work outs and better diet. I happened to be going through an old computer folder and found those original pictures. I showed them to my wife and we both had the same conclusion, we would not have have swung with OURSELVES the way we looked the year before. Perceptions can change as you are happier with your own looks.

 

Now the one good thing you can do that others can't for their potential looks issues is lose weight. Its worth it on so many levels beyond just swinging. You can prevent a bevy of long term health issues which you could be on a collision course for as well as feel better with how you look so you don't need to wonder if you are too fat. You are both, give or take 20 lbs, almost 100 lbs over weight, this WILL get you with time. Its hard but it only gets harder with time. Swinging can be a GREAT motivation for working out and dieting, so run with it and help yourself beyond making it easier to find play partners.

[CPL4XTCY 36]

Being overweight does not mean you can't be good looking and have a great personality, two things that carry a lot of weight with who we choose to interact with.

 

When heading out to the clubs be sure to shave, get your nails done, get a haircut, use makeup, a little cologne/perfume, dress to impress, have clean shoes. Basically don't look like a slob.

[The Fuse 1,012]

When I first signed up I started my very first thread on my body image issues. People responded in their usual reassuring way. And I'll tell ya, it made me feel sooooo comfortable and lessened my anxiety very much. If the answer had been a link to two or three other threads on the same subject, my relief might not have been as palpable. Who knows. The fact that people were responding to me, and not giving me some template of an answer, I'll bet made a difference.

 

Chicup said:

Now the one good thing you can do that others can't for their potential looks issues is lose weight. Its worth it on so many levels beyond just swinging. You can prevent a bevy of long term health issues which you could be on a collision course for as well as feel better with how you look so you don't need to wonder if you are too fat. You are both, give or take 20 lbs, almost 100 lbs over weight, this WILL get you with time. Its hard but it only gets harder with time. Swinging can be a GREAT motivation for working out and dieting, so run with it and help yourself beyond making it easier to find play partners.

 

After my husband and I decided to start swinging, I lost over 20 pounds and have kept it off ever since. Harsh as it sounds, I figured if I wanted a certain type, I better do my best to be that type myself. It's made a huge difference in the way I look (I'm a size 10 vs. a 14 or 16). Chicup is right about the motivation! The health benefits are great too, but that's not why I keep it off (sheepish grin).

 

CPL4XTCY noted that if you make a good effort to look your best when you go out, you will make a better impression on potential play partners. That is true too.

 

When it comes down to it, your size will matter to some people and not to others. Period. Find the ones who either don't make it an issue, or who like people of whatever size you are.

[jdavisauto 73]

Spokaneman said:

So me and my wife are new to this, very new, in fact we have not acted yet really. we have a personal add on sls but have not paid for the service yet. we have talked about getting into swinging for a few years now, we want to start making steps into the life style slowly but not really sure how. one of the biggest problems for us, is that we are a bigger couple. he is 6' 0" 300 and she is 5' 9" 240. seems like all we see is fit people and we feel out of place due to that. we are attending YMCA 2x a week to start getting more fit, but that may take a while. so I guess what I am asking is.... any advice on getting into this life style for a larger couple ? if any advice at all hehe

 

Don't worry about the size of things how big, how small, how tall or how short. That's what so great about this life style. It's made up of all different kinds of people. Swingers do not judge!

 

Hell if you like standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot as your wife is pouring strawberry syrup all over your body you will still be accepted. Just make sure you bring enough pudding and syrup for us all.

 

Come on out to a swingers club of your choice, have a couple of drinks and have fun. Just to let you know I'm a large man pushing 300 + lbs 6' tall and That don't stop me.

[dnmnms 55]

Hell if you like standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot as your wife is pouring strawberry syrup all over your body you will still be accepted. Just make sure you bring enough pudding and syrup for us all.

 

HEHEHE.....Sorry but I can see that happening . I have to make sure and bring sugar free tho for us that cant/dont eat sugar!

 

Melody

[jdavisauto 73]

dnmnms said:

HEHEHE.....Sorry but I can see that happening . I have to make sure and bring sugar free tho for us that cant/dont eat sugar!

 

Melody

 

Being type 2 diabetic we will bring splenda sweeten pudding and a bucket big enough for at least 5 couples and a bunch of towels.

[maybeforus 15]

Thank you Fuse for your point of view. Even as a newbie I understand the plight of the veteran and the broken record. There is wonderful information in the archives and I've read many posts related to all of my concerns. It's great to see that most people all have the same reservations about plunging into swinging. And it's even better to feel so welcomed by so many, thank you all again for your encouragement and honest answers. Having people response to your own questions, (as redundant as they are) does add a more personal level to the interaction. Thank you all again for your responses

 

Fuse I want to thank you for your statement about "being" what you want. My husband is more open and accepting of my physical appearance, I on the other hand feel the way you do. I want to feel more comfortable with sharing my body with someone new. He's worried that it's my way of "finding" an excuse not to take any actions, not that he is pushing in anyway, just that he loves my body the way it is and believes others will too. He thinks I have an unrealistic idea of what other swingers want, and from the posts I've read here perhaps I do have an a skewed view of what the swinger clubs are like. Guess there is only one way to find out,

[The Fuse 1,012]

Thank you Fuse for your point of view. Even as a newbie I understand the plight of the veteran and the broken record. There is wonderful information in the archives and I've read many posts related to all of my concerns. It's great to see that most people all have the same reservations about plunging into swinging. And it's even better to feel so welcomed by so many, thank you all again for your encouragement and honest answers. Having people response to your own questions, (as redundant as they are) does add a more personal level to the interaction. Thank you all again for your responses

 

Fuse I want to thank you for your statement about "being" what you want. My husband is more open and accepting of my physical appearance, I on the other hand feel the way you do. I want to feel more comfortable with sharing my body with someone new. He's worried that it's my way of "finding" an excuse not to take any actions, not that he is pushing in anyway, just that he loves my body the way it is and believes others will too. He thinks I have an unrealistic idea of what other swingers want, and from the posts I've read here perhaps I do have an a skewed view of what the swinger clubs are like. Guess there is only one way to find out,

 

I think there's a lot of truth to what your husband says. Many men are much more forgiving of some extra padding, and in fact enjoy it. I think there is a big difference in the way we all look at people on TV, and the way we look at them in a swing club.

 

I'm glad you feel encouraged to improve your body (and get the health benefits too), but please don't put off going out and having fun "until I lose 20 pounds". Life is too short! Your swing partners are going to be with you because they like your body. They will not be playing with you and preparing a list of what's wrong with you, I guarantee it.

[jennandjamesinm 87]

You know this reminds me of something that was said to me at a party this weekend. We were in a group of people talking as the evening was winding down and a new friend that I had made looked at me and ran his hand down my side and said to me, "Please don't take offense to this, but to me, this is how a woman should be. It is very sexy to me." How could that be offensive? I am a big girl and you'll find people that appreciate you exactly the way you are and then those that won't, just like in Real Life. It all in how you feel about you.

 

Jenn

[deanncat 25]

Weight is always a issue with me i'm up and down with my weight, but don't let it interfere in my self image, not ever day is perfect, I do have my days I want to hide because I feel heavy then other days and i'm 5"5 and 213, but sex is fun and its fun with more people and I don't think people look at you imagine its all about personity and the sexual fun, just look at it like that

[maybeforus 15]

Thanks again Fuse your insight, I'm grateful for your wisdom

[maybeforus 15]

You know this reminds me of something that was said to me at a party this weekend. We were in a group of people talking as the evening was winding down and a new friend that I had made looked at me and ran his hand down my side and said to me, "Please don't take offense to this, but to me, this is how a woman should be. It is very sexy to me." How could that be offensive? I am a big girl and you'll find people that appreciate you exactly the way you are and then those that won't, just like in Real Life. It all in how you feel about you.

 

Jenn

 

Thanks Jenn, It's great to have your insight, and great to hear about so many positive experiences on this board

 

Thanks again

[nicerrtxcple 13]

Hey me and my wife are also large, and we have meet some nice couple who are large also. Just seems that there are not that many of us out there.

[crazi429 16]

Myself and Red are larger. Red has lost some weight and really trimmed up what she has and myself am 50 lbs less than this time last year and with the hip getting better I hope to get rid of another 50 by summer. I am comfortable with myself even though I want to loose weight and Red is very happy with herself but also wants to loose more. I feel our attitude means it all when meeting people. I have been with several very large women in the past and the ones that are happy with them selves are so much more fun. I hope to do our first club thing this weekend and that it all works out. Just waiting on red to give the go ahead. And be off work.

[twohots4u2 188]

Please don't hold back from swinging because of your weight. Just be selective about the swing clubs you attend and the couples or singles you meet with.

 

Bob is heavy while I am very fit. The first time we went to a swing club it was LaTrapeze in New York City. The first couple we played with was a guy who was fairly fit, but his wife was fairly heavy. We had fun with them but I was disappointed that the wife would not let me play with her. We had lots of fun there over a long period of visits because the folks were comfortable with Bob and we had lots of play. We found out that some of the other clubs there cater to younger, fit couples and singles, so we have avoided them.

 

We also have gone to swing clubs in LasVegas, where we found that Red Rooster to be very accepting of us. Also, we have gone to swing clubs in the Miami area, finding acceptance and having lots of fun at Club Hedo in Pompano Beach but avoiding Miami Velvet and Trapeze, who cater to the younger, fit group.

 

We notice on SLS that there a lots of couples who are heavy. We have had lots of positive responses on that site and have found folks there that we have meet the played with.

 

So, just be selective, open, and you will find folks who find you compatible.

[Spokaneman 15]

Please don't hold back from swinging because of your weight. Just be selective about the swing clubs you attend and the couples or singles you meet with.

 

Bob is heavy while I am very fit. The first time we went to a swing club it was LaTrapeze in New York City. The first couple we played with was a guy who was fairly fit, but his wife was fairly heavy. We had fun with them but I was disappointed that the wife would not let me play with her. We had lots of fun there over a long period of visits because the folks were comfortable with Bob and we had lots of play. We found out that some of the other clubs there cater to younger, fit couples and singles, so we have avoided them.

 

We also have gone to swing clubs in LasVegas, where we found that Red Rooster to be very accepting of us. Also, we have gone to swing clubs in the Miami area, finding acceptance and having lots of fun at Club Hedo in Pompano Beach but avoiding Miami Velvet and Trapeze, who cater to the younger, fit group.

 

We notice on SLS that there a lots of couples who are heavy. We have had lots of positive responses on that site and have found folks there that we have meet the played with.

 

So, just be selective, open, and you will find folks who find you compatible.

 

For now we are just hanging back, I (Him) do not care if people dont like how I look. she however is still very worried about such things lol. though she does want to become involved in this life style, she does not want to danger her ob or her family life, so we are being very careful for now =) we are interested in going to a swingers club near here, called The White Rose, but again come the worry of performing and people judgeing the looks. she does not want people snikering in the corners asking why the "FAT CHICK" is here =/ I think she is dam sexy and gets me hot whenever I am near her, but I am Biased =P

[ncmd_couple 597]

Spokane,

 

Going to the club might be a great option for the two of you. None of us are perfect, well, some are, but I don't expect to meet them at a club, they are in Hollywood making movies. Just be yourselves. As for your wife's job, we both have jobs that would suffer if someone learned about our play time. But if they learned about it from meeting us at a club, they would be in even deeper doodoo than we would be if they let it be known.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The Hollywood people aren't perfect either, they just have better lighting, make-up, airbrushing, and editing

[ncmd_couple 597]

The Hollywood people aren't perfect either, they just have better lighting, make-up, airbrushing, and editing

 

Haha, yeah, isn't that the truth! I've seen some pics of the "stars" that aren't made up and I wouldn't know who they are if they didn't mention it in the caption!

[funfun31 25]

She shouldn't worry, she's ADORABLE! My wife said "Don't worry! There are plenty of us everywhere. Us big girls see a lot of action and have the luxury of being as picky as anybody, so get out there and have fun! It's all in the attitude." As for us, I can say that we've been to quite a few clubs and we see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes. There is a fit for everyone. We aren't exactly skinny folks ourselves (I was 6'1 and a less-than-shapely 225 when we got into this and my wife is 5'1 and is well over 200 lbs herself). That being said, since we got into this about two years ago, her self-confidence is through the roof- I guess now because there are more guys than me telling her how sexy she is, lol. She has found that when she walks into a club and feels like she looks great (remember, sexy is not a clothing size, it's an attitude) she gets plenty of attention and that makes her feel even better. Go for it! With a few positive experiences under your belt, you'll both laugh at how nervous you were when you got into this.

 

Hope this helps,

SLS ID funfun31 from Lancaster, PA

[tp0121 15]

For now we are just hanging back, I (Him) do not care if people dont like how I look. she however is still very worried about such things lol. though she does want to become involved in this life style, she does not want to danger her ob or her family life, so we are being very careful for now =) we are interested in going to a swingers club near here, called The White Rose, but again come the worry of performing and people judgeing the looks. she does not want people snikering in the corners asking why the "FAT CHICK" is here =/ I think she is dam sexy and gets me hot whenever I am near her, but I am Biased =P

When I was first introduced to the lifestyle I was 130lbs on a 5'91/2' frame. Today I am 230lbs and the same height. Believe me I understand how she feels but I will not allow that to prevent me from going to the clubs once in awhile. I am not going to say that I am 100% comfortable with my body because I am not, but I do know what I have to offer and it's sensational (if I may say so myself). Go to the club and sit in the corner and watch everyone. Then take her in a room and make love to her. She will want to go back again and again.

 

Just my late 2 cents

 

Shellie

[crazinred 36]

I will have Red respond also but as stated above we are both above the normal weights that society says is what we should weigh. We both are working at loosing weight and toning up our bodies. We are doing this because we want to not because society says we should.

 

Our first visit to a club was a week ago. All we can say is it turned out great. We went with no expectations and just took it all in. And apparently we where interesting enough that people wanted to talk to us. This is so different then bars and night clubs. Everyone is there for the same thing and know that. Since our first visit we have been to another club twice and a house party. They have all worked out very well. The more we go the more Red feels better about herself. There are people of all sizes and shapes at the clubs and there others that desire people of all sizes and shapes. Just Making the first step is the hardest. I strongly recommend doing a tour at the club if possible it helps relieve some tension to know whats going on where. And according to what your looking for she don't have to have sex with anyone but you so then the safety it there. Once she gets comfortable then go from there. By your picture she is a very attractive woman so hopefully she can get past the nervousness the first time and start having fun.

[MrkLin 393]

What they said^^^!

 

Please, go to the club, watch, mingle, dance, and have fun. You don't have to participate in any way, shape, manner or form. Just be friendly. I think you'll be surprised at the way you're greeted. I'll also add that I agree that just by looking at your avatar, I can tell that she's a real cutie. I don't think she'll have any problem at all in turning heads - and I mean that in a good way.

 

You're going to see people there who are smaller than you are, and you'll see people there who are bigger than you are - just as you'll see people who are taller or shorter than you. A club is attended by a cross section of real people. The difference is they're all interested in a common thing.

 

I do hope you go. And to "SpokaneWoman," you have nothing to worry about. Just in looking at your avatar, I can assure you that nobody is going to look at you and say, "Who's the fat chick?" In fact, I'd be willing to bet you that you're asked to dance a few times, and you'll definitely have more than a couple of guys very interested in inviting you into a playroom.

 

I'd like to invite you to check out my blog, and read my entry titled, 'What Happens at a Swing Club?' I think it'll answer a lot of the questions you have, and maybe a few you didn't know you had. Above all, just relax and have fun. Remember that everyone at the club had a first time too...

[Spokaneman 15]

thanks all, I will have my wife read this =) Spokanewomen is loseing weight every day, I on the other hand am still gaining I think. it helps to have a gym at your job lol. anyways... she is doing good and may be ready for the Club this summer =) I may not be lol:rolleyes:

[2inVT 122]

Size is not as important as attitude, and being comfortable with yourself.

 

Sure, some folks aren't going to want to swing with you - for any number of reasons, not always your size. Other folks will want to swing with you. That's true of everyone, regardless of age, size, hair color, etc.

 

When you do start swinging, try not to take the "no, thanks" responses personally. After all, YOU aren't going to want to swing with everyone you see. You're going to say no, and you're going to be told no - and that's ok. You just move on, no harm, no foul.

 

I think you and your wife will be pleasantly surprised at the number of swingers who will make you feel comfortable, and who will be interested in both of you.