Breaking the Ice

[Alura 2,774]

I was reading another thread in which a discussion was taking place on how to move to the play area at a club. What does one say? Should the women be the one(s) to suggest the move?

 

We've little club experience, but I got to thinking back over the years and remembered our first real swinging experience. We had met a couple in line at a pizza restaurant and chatted until we arrived at the order taker. We placed our orders and moved on to the drink machines where it was suggested that we share a booth.

 

The people were attractive, the conversation stimulating and, as the dinner was winding down, it occurred to me that we'd not likely see these people again unless someone made an effort to keep the friendship alive. Just before we got up to leave I asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" If they got pissed, what was lost? We'd never see them again.

 

They looked at each other in amazement. The husband ("Rick") said, "Well, we've been talking about it for a long time..." We chatted a bit about the concept but no invitations were exchanged. We did, however, trade phone numbers. The result was another dinner date.

 

After that second dinner, we went to our house. We were seated in our den, Mrs. Alura on one leg of the sectional with Rick, "Jo" and I on the other. We sat and talked for a long time but nobody made a move to "get things started."

 

"Do y'all know any good 'ice breakers'?" asked Rick.

 

"Well," said Mrs. Alura, "Kissing usually does it for me."

 

"Huh?" blurted out Rick, suddenly realizing how dumb the question was.

 

"I mean," replied Mrs. Alura, "that if you were to kiss me, I'd probably warm up enough to melt away any ice that may be bothering you." They both looked at Jo and me and were greeted with two smiling faces.

 

When their open mouths met we got a fleeting glimpse of Mrs. Alura's talented tongue sliding between Rick's lips. As Rick gently sucked her tongue into his mouth, Jo and I kept watching, mesmerized. As they would momentarily break their kisses, we were rewarded with views of their dancing tongues. We watched for what seemed a long time but was probably only seconds when we turned to each other.

 

Mrs. Alura was right. The kisses quickly turned the ice to steam. I had just loosened the buttons on Jo's blouse to find no bra beneath when we heard Mrs. Alura's husky voice ask, "Would you like to fuck me with that thing?"

 

"Oh, yes!" he answered, kissing her again.

 

Jo and I turned to look and saw them kissing, Mrs. Alura naked to the waist, her hand holding Rick's cock which was protruding from the front of his pants while his hand was cupping her breast, his thumb and forefinger teasing the nipple. "How about going into the bedroom, then?" she asked.

 

"You two can join us if you like, or y'all can stay out here," she said as she led Rick away.

 

Mr. Alura

[jjtrindc 142]

That's what I call breaking the ice! And yes, for many of us, it can be hard to get to that next big step. But practice makes perfect (wink). For all you with Ipods or mp3 players, the couple that does the "swingercast" podcast just did a segment on this exact topic. We haven't had a chance to listen, but their podcasts are generally pretty entertaining. Check 'em out either at their website or via iTunes.

[The Fuse 1,012]

What a great story. I love it when someone has the nerve to "just say it" or "just do it".

[dnmnms 55]

Thats an issue with me also. Hubby has no problem however I take things a little slower. Seems people we have encountered either immediatly try to jump us or its a lonnngggg process. Kinda in middle is best.

Melody

[ncmd_couple 597]

If we have been visiting with a couple and it seems to me that we all click, I just ask them, "Would you two like to join us in a room?" Usually a little later the wife of the other couple will thank me for ask. It is something that everyone has a little problem with, even experienced swinger couples.

 

S

[Spoomonkey 421]

You two are the masters of straight talk. I am not sure I've ever met anyone nearly as bold as the two of you. It really is the best way to do it - and I wish I had the spunk you guys have.

 

I have always loved the pizza story - but adding Mrs. Alura's simple and obvious plan of "breaking the ice" makes it that much more impressive!

 

You guys rock!

 

Spoomonkey

[Alura 2,774]

You two are the masters of straight talk. I am not sure I've ever met anyone nearly as bold as the two of you. It really is the best way to do it - and I wish I had the spunk you guys have.

 

I have always loved the pizza story - but adding Mrs. Alura's simple and obvious plan of "breaking the ice" makes it that much more impressive!

 

You guys rock!

 

Spoomonkey

 

Thanks, Spoo! It's truly an honor to be complimented by you!

 

Mr. Alura

[Willing29 66]

We were sort of wondering the same time. Since we are still new to this whole scene and looking to dip our toes very, very soon, the question is..... If we are invited to go get a room somewhere after our dinner together, what happens next? Do you all just get to the room and get down to business or are there techniques to break the ice? The wife is thinking of an adult game like consenting adults or a dice game or something like that. Any suggestions?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

The best ice breakers is play the game, "Let's Hide a Body Part" or "Let's Get Naked and Screw". I am sure there are other variations which may include cards or dice or something like that, just a little slower.

 

Or you could just play the "Yes, No" game.

[Willing29 66]

"Yes / No Game" do tell!

[N&G 207]

If we are invited to go get a room somewhere after our dinner together, what happens next? Do you all just get to the room and get down to business or are there techniques to break the ice? The wife is thinking of an adult game like consenting adults or a dice game or something like that. Any suggestions?

 

If somebody wants to get a room I would not be concerned about finding games to play. They already know what they want and when the first person gets naked the rest will follow. If you insist on playing a game I would suggest something that doesn't last too long. Don't spend the night breaking the ice or when you are finally ready to play the other couple might say that they have to get home and take care of the dog.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I was reading another thread in which a discussion was taking place on how to move to the play area at a club. What does one say? Should the women be the one(s) to suggest the move?

Body language tells. Working as a team or individually, JoAnn and/or I will begin with touch -- footsies under the table, a hand on a shoulder, a hand on a cheek. If touch is welcomed, a kiss might be tried. If a kiss is welcomed, a suggestion might be whispered in an ear, along with a little nibble on the nape of the neck. Has produced a positive result more than once. The man has to lead. Girls like attention.

 

~Michael

[good times 991]

I have to agree with the others, once getting a room is suggested, the time for breaking the ice is well past. Personally, I don't think we have ever had more than about five minutes go by from the time we get to the room until we are all naked.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My experience has been that the longer you visit/sit/talk with a couple the harder it becomes to move on to the next level. I think that's one reason that for me it's easier in a club environment because it seems much easier to "just say it" there.

 

We have some friends here who when we read their profile they complained about issues with couples who talked too much and never moved to playing. When we got together with them at our place I realized that it was largely them. They were just so laid back and friendly that they were easy to talk to and they weren't making the move to get things started. After several hours I finally took the initiative and got things going with the other lady by "just doing it".

[2aussies 51]

In Australia we just say "Hey, ladies, show us ya tits".

[Mr.Essex 264]

I leave it up to the woman. I may press myself upon her just a little bit (refilling her glass and/or asking her to refill mine, winking at her husband and directing some of my more lewd jokes in his direction, moving closer towards her if she doesn't show any obvious signs of bolting away and remembering that I'm only there at {mostly} his leave...) but in the end, I'm not going to do anything more forward than put myself within her grasp. IOW, I don't touch her until she reaches out and touches me.

It may be a bit old-fashioned, but I let the women in the lifestyle make physical contact before I let my libido go.

[riprat 36]

My experience has been that the longer you visit/sit/talk with a couple the harder it becomes to move on to the next level. I think that's one reason that for me it's easier in a club environment because it seems much easier to "just say it" there.

 

We have some friends here who when we read their profile they complained about issues with couples who talked too much and never moved to playing. When we got together with them at our place I realized that it was largely them. They were just so laid back and friendly that they were easy to talk to and they weren't making the move to get things started. After several hours I finally took the initiative and got things going with the other lady by "just doing it".

 

I kinda agree with Julie. We like to talk and get to know people first, but sometimes, it works against us. Two examples: We met a couple for a meal at a restaurant. After the usual small talk, the subject got around to sex and swinging, with us doing more listening than actually talking. After a good little while, I was sure we would never play with this couple, and I could tell by D's expressions that she agreed. You know, that some little something you can't put your finger on a lot of the time that tells you "NO WAY" That's the way it was with them, so we never mentioned playing with them. We just left after the meal, and told them we would talk to them later, which we have, but we have never met them again.

Second example: We met another couple at the same restaurant sometime later. We talked a good while, learning we had a lot in common as a couple. We all seemed to feel pretty comfortable with each other, so I asked them if they wanted to get a room and play. The Hubby said he always leaves the decision up to his wife. Well, she says it doesn't matter to her, but what does D think. She's ok with it, but then the other wife says it's so late they really need to get home in a hour or so, because they live a hours drive away. So we make a date for the next Sat night, and get an earlier start. This time we go to their house. We grill out, and afterward, we watch some porno flicks with them. We play with our own spouses, and when they get finished, she gets up and gets dressed, so we do to. We have been to their house several times since, and them to ours, and stay in touch by phone and yahoo all the time, and are great friends. We still talk a lot, but we still haven't played with each other, and I doubt we ever will, but they are good friends to have.

Sometimes talk helps, sometimes it hurts. We would never just start playing with somebody we had just met until we had a chance to sorta get to know them a little bit, but that's what works for us.....

[sahajacpl 95]

We are convinced there are as many couples as there are ways of moving toward sexual play and then to the final and desired act of going for sexual intercourse with the other couple's wife or partner.

 

We prefer to kind of swap mates as we sit on the sofa and love seat, chatting and sipping wine or champagne. This way hubby is sittting close to and with the other couple's female while the wife is sitting next to her hubby. This give gives both of us an opportunity to proceed in measured steps, such as light kissing on the lips and her neck and also using your hands to touch her gently and erotically. All of this is intentionally planned to increase sexual desire in him/her and indicate the desire for more explicit play, and, of course proceed to the desired aim of having sexual intercourse with the opther couple's wife/hubby, your swap partner.

 

Wife has found sitting very close to the other's hubby and kissing him while gently placing her hand on his crotch to feel his dick and caressing it with her fingers to be very effective. This always makes his dick go into erection. There is no better or surer way to indicate that she desires him to reciprocate and to get into play by touching her breasts, etc., and also by her opening up her thighs inviting him to glide his finger into her panties to her wet pussy. This is as explicit an indication as it can get to signal a desire for him to sink his hard and erect dick into her pussy and fuck to orgasm.

 

We have experienced that it helps for the female to be somewaht more aggressive in action to indicate to the man the desire to have sex with him and the intention to swap mates for sexual intercourse. It has worked for us most of the time so long as the other couple is not a vanilla, wants to swing, and, is willing to swap mates for full-blown sexual intercourse with each other's partner.