2 4 1 30 Posted October 15, 2008 Hi, my wife and I have been wanting a girl for a threesome for about a year now (see our post in introductions), but have met with frustration again and again. Swingers clubs are not an option, as 1) they don't seem to be ideal for meeting single women willing to hook up with a couple, 2) she wants to keep this discreet and 3) these places really kind of freak us both out (no offense to those who attend them). We tried a certain online service that attempted to rip us off, and we got no action (not even inquiries!) whatsoever, so that route has definitely been soured for us as well. We're now on the verge of procuring an escort service for this purpose, as we feel we've run out of options, and we'd like to do this while we are relatively young. Although there are many in my area with ads in adult publications, as with swinging, I have no idea where to start! It sounds easy, but do you go with an established, big service or an independent girl? Since prostitution is illegal, is there some kind of code you have to speak over the phone and/or in person so that everyone protects themselves? And if so, what does one say? Thanks for any help you can give us. Quote Share this post Link to post
BiloxiCouple 695 Posted October 15, 2008 I believe you are going to find that we as a majority don't condone escorts in the lifestyle. Also, I won't help you with illegal activities. But, I will say you might as well get a lawyer now. Quote Share this post Link to post
good times 991 Posted October 15, 2008 Actually, the best place to find what you want is, in fact, at a swingers club. If you do decide to attend one you will find they are not at all like you think they are. For one, discretion is important to everyone there, whereas, their is no discretion involved once you get arrested for soliciting an escort. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 16, 2008 good times said: Actually, the best place to find what you want is, in fact, at a swingers club. If you do decide to attend one you will find they are not at all like you think they are. For one, discretion is important to everyone there, whereas, their is no discretion involved once you get arrested for soliciting an escort. We have actually been to one years ago, as a couple of tagalongs in a larger party and were pretty disgusted; a couch that had been screwed on who-knows-how-many times, unprotected sex going on with random strangers, and the (although safer) crowning scene of the evening: a girl handcuffed and chained to a wall, bent over naked with a gimp mask on and a bowl of condoms next to her on a barstool with a sign that read "have fun, just please use a condom" on the wall over her head. We were out of there in under 10 minutes. That being said, do you really think we have much of a chance in finding a "unicorn" in a swingers club? Hear of any success stories? I'll defer to your expertise here, and thanks again! Quote Share this post Link to post
jdavisauto 73 Posted October 16, 2008 The thing is about getting a escort service, there is a couple of questions that you need to ask the lady. What kind of bonus will we get and what medical treatment will we have to get to get rid of it? Escort service being illegal in most states (Unless you live in Nevada). They are not as clean as you may think that they are. You may want to rethink the escort service biit a little more. But it's all up to both of you. Just to offer something to the fire here, try SLS and see what you can find there. We have found 2 very nice ladies that live in our area that we now get together with. Just a ideal. Good luck with what ever you guys do. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 16, 2008 The thing is about getting a escort service, there is a couple of questions that you need to ask the lady. What kind of bonus will we get and what medical treatment will we have to get to get rid of it? Escort service being illegal in most states (Unless you live in Nevada). They are not as clean as you may think that they are. You may want to rethink the escort service biit a little more. But it's all up to both of you. Just to offer something to the fire here, try SLS and see what you can find there. We have found 2 very nice ladies that live in our area that we now get together with. Just a ideal. Good luck with what ever you guys do. Just created our profile on SLS, so we'll see how that goes, thank you for the suggestion! If you don't mind my asking, were the two women you found through this service? The last site I was a paid member of got us 0 inquiries, and the site itself tried charging me for several services I did not purchase, so I now have a "believe it when I see it" attitude regarding most things internet. And for the record, if I wasn't clear on this in my opening post: This was not our first choice, but after so many dead ends, we were begining to feel like it was our only one. Anyone, please, please feel free to prove us wrong and give us viable alternatives like jdavisauto did! Quote Share this post Link to post
ViSexual 1,008 Posted October 16, 2008 I still don't understand why couples who are wanting to try FMF threesomes don't just team up. There are just simply more couples than single females. And most of us guys would actually enjoy knowing his wife was with another couple and be looking forward to her coming home to tell him all about it. Quote Share this post Link to post
JTcamp05 9 Posted October 16, 2008 You may have a much easier time finding a couple. You can work out the specifics of your arrangments with the couple. I think you might be suprised to find many couples would be willing to work with your specific requests. Just be upfront about what your looking for and you might be suprised. Quote Share this post Link to post
slevin 1,374 Posted October 16, 2008 SLS is fine and you don't need to be worried about being ripped off by the SLS site. Don't sit back and wait for single women to contact you though, you will need to do the searching and contact them. It isn't easy since so many people are looking for that elusive single woman; they call them unicorns for a reason! Personally I think you will have better luck approaching and seducing single women in person while you're out in places like bars, clubs, coffee shops, bookstores, comedy clubs etc., but the online sites can work as well. Quote Share this post Link to post
fun4Ds 1,098 Posted October 16, 2008 Just created our profile on SLS, so we'll see how that goes, thank you for the suggestion! You could leave a link to your profile screen name so we could give a review. If you don't mind my asking, were the two women you found through this service? The last site I was a paid member of got us 0 inquiries, and the site itself tried charging me for several services I did not purchase, so I now have a "believe it when I see it" attitude regarding most things internet.I'm a little curious You say you went to a club with a woman chained to the wall with a bowl of condoms beside her ? What the hell was the name of that club ? We may want to avoid it ! And for the record, if I wasn't clear on this in my opening post: This was not our first choice, but after so many dead ends, we were begining to feel like it was our only one. Anyone, please, please feel free to prove us wrong and give us viable alternatives like jdavisauto did Why not bring your wife here to the swingers board and get some of the ideas and feelings from other women ? I mean, you look like a guy with tricks up your sleave. I can say we have some girlfriends in the lifestyle. It wasnt from just putting an add up stating we want a single girl to come fuck us now. It doesn't work like that. For one, if I was a man doing what you are trying I would expect ZERO. Its about the women having a connection. How does your wife feel about other women ? Quote Share this post Link to post
Greg & Sheryl 368 Posted October 16, 2008 Because swingers generally don't resort to using escort services, this fourm isn't the best place to seek advice is you insist on using one to achieve your FMF fantasy. However, there are other forums which specialize in the use of adult service providers, so we suggest you seek one of those. Quote Share this post Link to post
Guest screaminggood Posted October 16, 2008 The club you described is not anything I've ever seen in our area. There should be some more "upscale" clubs in your area. Search for them, call and talk to them before you go, and then go check some out. And yes, it is possible to find the extra woman at these clubs. We do it all the time! As a previous poster said, it doesn't have to be a single woman. We've had several encounters with married women whose husbands just watch for one reason or another. Again, it's takes the woman-to-woman connection and your wife asking if the other woman would be interested in it to make it happen. Quote Share this post Link to post
good times 991 Posted October 16, 2008 Thanks for the reply and the redirect to the other post. We have actually been to one years ago, as a couple of tagalongs in a larger party and were pretty disgusted; a couch that had been screwed on who-knows-how-many times, unprotected sex going on with random strangers, and the (although safer) crowning scene of the evening: a girl handcuffed and chained to a wall, bent over naked with a gimp mask on and a bowl of condoms next to her on a barstool with a sign that read "have fun, just please use a condom" on the wall over her head. We were out of there in under 10 minutes. That being said, do you really think we have much of a chance in finding a "unicorn" in a swingers club? Hear of any success stories? I'll defer to your expertise here, and thanks again! Ok, that club is exactly what I was thinking you thought clubs were like. And although I too have seen clubs, or more often house parties that were like that, those types of clubs are very rare. Most clubs are nothing like that, although you may see people having condomless sex in a public play room in any club, as a significant portion of the swinging population chooses to play without condoms, most clubs I have been to have at least been clean. And most clubs are no different at first glance from any other night club, except of course that the people attending have a more unified idea of why they are all there. As far as meeting single women at the club goes, this used to be much more unusual than it is now days. In fact, at the clubs we regularly go to their are usually a few single gals there on any given night. Their are also a few couples who play separately and don't mind if just the female plays with a couple. As far as Craigs List goes, most of the single females on there are in fact, escorts. In fact, I know several of them personally that advertise in our area. Even in Nevada escorts who advertise on CL are illegal, and quite frankly, I would be worried about them more than in other states because their must be some reason they don't work in a legal brothel. That reason is possibly that they can't pass the weekly std test the brothels require. If you want to use an online ad service, SLS is one of the best. But keep in mind, no single gal is going to contact you, they don't have to, they are still rare enough that they have trouble keeping up with responding to the folks that contact them. With that in mind, single gals on the ads sites can be very picky, so unless you two are exceptionally hot, or you happen to contact a gal and just trip her trigger with your witty intro, I wouldn't expect immediate results. From the people I have talked to at the clubs who are looking for a similar experience as you are, they don't have much luck on the add sites. I am not saying that you shouldn't put an add up, I just don't think it is fair for you to have unrealistic expectations. The fact is, their are a lot of couples looking for the single female, but very few single females looking for couples. Back to your original question though, I would highly advise avoiding escorts, as a night of fun could to easily turn into something you regret for the rest of your lives for a number of reasons. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
BiloxiCouple 695 Posted October 16, 2008 If it was easy to find a single lady, everyone would be doing it. Besides, if it was that easy to find a single woman, why would I worry about finding couples? Ooops, I forgot, Elaine likes men more than women. Quote Share this post Link to post
jdavisauto 73 Posted October 17, 2008 If you don't mind my asking, were the two women you found through this service? Yes both ladies was found through SLS. Both ladies was contacted by us through SLS e-mails we chatted swap photos and then set up a meeting in a public place. We then got together with each one through a private party at a hotel with some of our other friends. Just look through the profiles and see which ones match what you are looking for and drop them a e-mail and go from there. Don’t get discourage if nothing happens right away. With us we live in the sin capital of the world (Las Vegas) and swinging is more accepted here. That’s why we have the saying “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. Also always be honest about what you want with your self and others. It's more fun that way. Good luck and hope you guys get your fantasy, it is great when it does come true. Quote Share this post Link to post
jdavisauto 73 Posted October 17, 2008 Oh yeah there are a lot of couples that do play separate so don’t rule couples totally out. The one club you went to don’t sound much like a swingers club and we would walk out of there our selves. I would try another swingers club but call and do a little back ground check on them. You may be surprise at what you will find at a real swingers club. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 17, 2008 You may have a much easier time finding a couple. You can work out the specifics of your arrangments with the couple. I think you might be suprised to find many couples would be willing to work with your specific requests. Just be upfront about what your looking for and you might be suprised. Hmmm... Thanks JT, but we hadn't considered that simply because it would just seem such a selfish request on our part. I mean, our only specific request would be, "stay home while we do your woman". I mean, that may change after a few encounters, but this first time out we would both be pretty uncomfortable with an audience. I guess it can't hurt to ask, though. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 17, 2008 Quote And most of us guys would actually enjoy knowing his wife was with another couple and be looking forward to her coming home to tell him all about it. Seriously? Man, I have a lot to learn! I guess we've been limiting ourselves by projecting our feelings and attitudes onto others in this scene (neither my wife nor I would ever go for individual encounters). Sounds like a promising, unexplored avenue, thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 17, 2008 You could leave a link to your profile screen name so we could give a review. Yes, that would be great! Ummm... How do I do that? I'm a little curious You say you went to a club with a woman chained to the wall with a bowl of condoms beside her ? What the hell was the name of that club ? We may want to avoid it ! Oh, geez, this was back in '99, and we weren't even married yet. It was way out in the sticks in Hillsborough somewhere (we were following a group of cars at night). It also doubled as a bottle club on days it wasn't being utilized as a swingers club, if that helps, but 9 years and how many different owners/names ago, I can't really say for sure. I think it was named after a number like "Club #" or something. Why not bring your wife here to the swingers board and get some of the ideas and feelings from other women ? I mean, you look like a guy with tricks up your sleave. Thanks! Although I admit I've been feeling rather shirtless when it comes to this particular project. (I'm here til Thursday. Try the fish and remember to tip your waitresses!) I can say we have some girlfriends in the lifestyle. It wasnt from just putting an add up stating we want a single girl to come fuck us now. It doesn't work like that. For one, if I was a man doing what you are trying I would expect ZERO. Boy, am I finding this out the hard way. How does your wife feel about other women ? Ahhh, this is where things get complicated. I suppose starting at the begining would give the best overall picture of how we got where we are now. Here goes: In my single days, like most young men, I always wanted to make it with two women at once, but it never transpired. I met my wife-to-be, and even before we were married, but living together I made my fantasy known to her. She smiled, patted me on the head, held my chin gently but firmly in one hand, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "honey, get it out of your mind because it's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN." As you might imagine, I needed no further convincing. Fast forward about 9 years to early this year: After years of a very vanilla, and at times nonexistent sex life, we had been enjoying something of a sexual Renaissance in our relationship and my wife admitted to watching and masturbating to porn online on her laptop. When I asked her what she watched and she replied "mostly lesbians", I think I encountered the first case of "dick whiplash" in recorded history. AHEM... However, after changing my shorts and inquiring further, I found that all was not as hot as it seemed. She said she liked watching lesbians because she enjoyed oral sex, and straight porn offered very little in this department. The guys only did it for a few seconds as a warmup before plowing the girl, and/or the male actor was almost always butt ugly. She went on to say that oftentimes she would close her eyes and just listen to the girl moan and imagine it was me going down on her. Being hit with this for the first time, you can imagine this made very little sense to me, but I was going to run with this as far as I could. When I brought up the threesome idea again, she was willing to do it to fulfill my fantasy, but still never actually pictured herself doing it. Over a few weeks, she came around to accept, and even enjoy the idea of a woman going down on her, and started masturbating to FFM threesome porn instead when I was at work and when we watched it together. However, she has made it clear that she wants a submissive girl to join us as, while she is definitely not the jealous type, she brooks no competition from other women. She has also said she doesn't want to go down on a woman or kiss her on the mouth because she's "not bisexual". She is willing, however to fondle & suck another girl's tits and finger her. (I told you this was complicated! I'm her husband and I barely get it!) A few days ago, while we were enjoying some porn with some especially attractive lesbians going at it I asked her if, when she saw or met attractive women in public, she thought about them in a sexual way. She said, "no I don't think about it that way". So here we are: If not for my wanting this, she would never consider pursuing it, and although she is far from just grudgingly "going through with it" for my sake, she's been leaving the leg work completely up to me. Up until now, I've been fine with this, as I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be married to a beautiful, wonderful woman who is willing to let me do another woman right in front of her! Making it happen seemed a small price to pay, but now it's starting to get to me. If the women connecting really is the key, I guess I'd better feel around and see what tricks I have up my sleave to get her into the copilot's seat. I hope this post has been at least half as entertaining as it was long, but I felt this was the minimum that needed to be said for you or anyone else reading this to understand our situation. I'll check back tomorrow, hope it's not too much to digest in the meantime. Quote Share this post Link to post
bbarnsworth 2,640 Posted October 17, 2008 Seriously? Man, I have a lot to learn! I guess we've been limiting ourselves by projecting our feelings and attitudes onto others in this scene (neither my wife nor I would ever go for individual encounters). Sounds like a promising, unexplored avenue, thanks! While my wife and I have a rule that we do NOT play separately, we would be quite amenable to having me watch while she was part of an FMF threesome. I would be surprised if there's several couples like that. As many varieties of non-vanilla ice cream there are, there are at least an equal number of non-vanilla swinger couple types. When I asked her what she watched and she replied "mostly lesbians", I think I encountered the first case of "dick whiplash" in recorded history. I hope this post has been at least half as entertaining as it was long, but I felt this was the minimum that needed to be said for you or anyone else reading this to understand our situation. I'll check back tomorrow, hope it's not too much to digest in the meantime. It seems to me like you're making good progress, but there's still more progress to be made. The "brook no competition" part gives me pause. Would she just want a woman to lay there and do nothing? Some red flag movement here on that point. Quote Share this post Link to post
The Fuse 1,012 Posted October 17, 2008 However, she has made it clear that she wants a submissive girl to join us as, while she is definitely not the jealous type, she brooks no competition from other women. She has also said she doesn't want to go down on a woman or kiss her on the mouth because she's "not bisexual". She is willing, however to fondle & suck another girl's tits and finger her. (I told you this was complicated! I'm her husband and I barely get it!) A few days ago, while we were enjoying some porn with some especially attractive lesbians going at it I asked her if, when she saw or met attractive women in public, she thought about them in a sexual way. She said, "no I don't think about it that way". So here we are: If not for my wanting this, she would never consider pursuing it, and although she is far from just grudgingly "going through with it" for my sake, she's been leaving the leg work completely up to me. Up until now, I've been fine with this, as I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be married to a beautiful, wonderful woman who is willing to let me do another woman right in front of her! Making it happen seemed a small price to pay, but now it's starting to get to me. Ugh... it really sounds to me like you are trying to push a rope uphill. Actually, it sounds to me like you are trying to push barbed wire uphill. Over piles of gunpowder. Near a brush fire. You say she is "far from just grudgingly "going through with it" for my sake", but everything else you wrote makes it seem like that is exactly what she would be doing. She wants the other woman to be submissive. She doesn't want to kiss her or go down on her. She brooks no competition. Has she ever expressed a desire to do this for her own gratification? Boy-o, sounds to me like you really want her to be okay with it, enough that you hear encouragement in the lack of discouragement. I appreciate what it's like to really, really want something, but I encourage you to take a good, hard look at your wife and what she's said and not said, how she reacts, etc., and try to be objective about what you're trying to do. Quote Share this post Link to post
WildMiCouple 325 Posted October 18, 2008 If I wanted a one time 3sum with my wife, I'd just go to a strip bar with her. The few times Tam and I have gone, we were swarmed with dancers. Had one even want to come home with us. Tossed that phone number out as Tam isn't bi ....just appreciates the beauty of a woman and enjoys the atmosphere And I might add...... I've no idea how D & D free they are. Brett Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 18, 2008 If I wanted a one time 3sum with my wife, I'd just go to a strip bar with her. The few times Tam and I have gone, we were swarmed with dancers. Had one even want to come home with us. Tossed that phone number out as Tam isn't bi ....just appreciates the beauty of a woman and enjoys the atmosphere And I might add...... I've no idea how D & D free they are. Brett I guess Michigan must be a lot different from down here in FL. The irony here is, I am a bouncer in a strip club! The girls get solicited all the time by single men and couples and, me being their sound board for just about everything, they always tell me how disgusted they are by it and throw the numbers/business cards away. On top of that, as you might imagine, this is how I make my living, so soliciting the girls I am supposed to be protecting is definitely out of the question. I've discussed what my wife and I want to do with a few of them if the subject came up, and if one of them ever showed an interest, that would be great, but no takers so far. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 18, 2008 Would she just want a woman to lay there and do nothing? Well, I wouldn't say nothing, just that the girl be uh, enthusiastically submissive, I guess you could say. I'm a lot less rigid when it comes to this, but then I'm not the the make-or-break component. Quote Share this post Link to post
Suncouple 32 Posted October 18, 2008 Fantasies don't have to come true. You may be happier keeping this in the realm of fantasy and enjoying it. Reality may be a disappointment - or worse! Quote Share this post Link to post
fun4Ds 1,098 Posted October 18, 2008 Dang 2 4 1, I checked your profile... If I was a single female in your area, you'd be gettin laid Good job ! Of coarse, If I had been born a woman.... There would have been a whore in the family Quote Share this post Link to post
Malachista 170 Posted October 18, 2008 Well, I wouldn't say nothing, just that the girl be uh, enthusiastically submissive, I guess you could say. I'm a lot less rigid when it comes to this, but then I'm not the the make-or-break component. Ehm... what is in it for the girl that would join you? Would she just be dare to pleasure your wife? Or would you be able to play with her as well? Quote Share this post Link to post
dnmnms 55 Posted October 18, 2008 Its hard to say sometimes what you will or wont do in the heat of the moment. It struck me funny that she is so opposed to FF contact but yet when she watches porn and gets excited its FF...HMMMM... Now, I dont know your wife and by no means passing judgement so please dont take that wrong. I also am a straight F.....We have played with couples where other F knew I was straight and respected that.....We play with single males (or married when other know he is playing with us) also BUT...while its not happened I can tell you that after you get more comfortable in this LS things change LOL. Initially went in with attitude of NOPE...uh uh.... Now its not something i think about but who knows in the heat of the moment... Just be patient...Never push her into anything she doesnt want. But I still cant figure the FF porn if she is so opposed. BTW...boy am I glad we never been to that club....we would have ran out too LOL. Melody Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 19, 2008 Fantasies don't have to come true. In my case, they never have. I'd just like this one before I die. You may be happier keeping this in the realm of fantasy and enjoying it. Reality may be a disappointment - or worse! I'm willing to roll the dice here, but thanks for your concern! Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 19, 2008 Dang 2 4 1, I checked your profile... If I was a single female in your area, you'd be gettin laid Good job ! Of coarse, If I had been born a woman.... There would have been a whore in the family Ha ha! Thank you so much for the critique and kind words. You two sound like a lot of fun. I used to write for publication some time ago in my own editorial column, so writing is kind of my thing. Plus, I write how I talk so you can imagine what kind of clown my wife has to put up with. I've got our 2-year-old daughter on board with most of my antics, so a protege isn't far behind Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 19, 2008 Ehm... what is in it for the girl that would join you? Would she just be dare to pleasure your wife? Or would you be able to play with her as well? Oh, yeah, no holds barred for me, and I'm a freak and 1/2! I've figured that with all of the pleasure giving/receiving combinations in a threesome, the girl isn't likely to even notice the two things my wife is (currently) oppossed to are missing. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 19, 2008 Its hard to say sometimes what you will or wont do in the heat of the moment. That's what I'm bankin' on! It struck me funny that she is so opposed to FF contact but yet when she watches porn and gets excited its FF...HMMMM... It struck me as borderline insane! I mean, I don't watch gay porn so I can imagine I'm doing my wife in the ass, etc., so WTF? Now, I dont know your wife and by no means passing judgement so please dont take that wrong. No, no, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You said what I've been thinking all along. Good to know I'm not the one that's crazy. I also am a straight F.....We have played with couples where other F knew I was straight and respected that.....We play with single males (or married when other know he is playing with us) also BUT...while its not happened I can tell you that after you get more comfortable in this LS things change LOL. Initially went in with attitude of NOPE...uh uh.... Now its not something i think about but who knows in the heat of the moment... Just be patient...Never push her into anything she doesnt want. Very, very encouraging, since this has been my general game plan from the get go. But I still cant figure the FF porn if she is so opposed. You and me both, but here's another curve ball for ya: She only wants a caucasian girl to join us (she is mixed Asian, but has predominantly Asian features). Now, having a preference is fine, as attraction is, at best, a quirky thing, but if she is "not bisexual" and has no outward attraction to women as she claims, why the preference? Since she claims to only want the girl for utilitarian purposes, to me, this makes about as much sense as saying "I can only get off with a purple dildo". Well, that's my rant for tonight. Drop me a line if you have any insight here or if you suspect she is a closet case waiting to bloom. After all, in the heat of the moment... Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 19, 2008 Ugh... it really sounds to me like you are trying to push a rope uphill. Actually, it sounds to me like you are trying to push barbed wire uphill. Over piles of gunpowder. Near a brush fire. You say she is "far from just grudgingly "going through with it" for my sake", but everything else you wrote makes it seem like that is exactly what she would be doing. She wants the other woman to be submissive. She doesn't want to kiss her or go down on her. She brooks no competition. Well, my paragraph was running pretty long, so I just kept in the basics. What I mean is... Has she ever expressed a desire to do this for her own gratification? Yes, many times. Especially when we are having sex, watching porn, or both. Ex.: "Honey, when we have our threesome, maybe you could come on my tits and she could lick it off. Mmmm, I would like that." Boy-o, sounds to me like you really want her to be okay with it, enough that you hear encouragement in the lack of discouragement. Well, lassie, I don't think that that's the case considering the numerous other factors involved, some of which are written in other posts on this thread, but even if it was, I'll take what I can get. I appreciate what it's like to really, really want something, but I encourage you to take a good, hard look at your wife and what she's said and not said, how she reacts, etc., and try to be objective about what you're trying to do. Been there, done that for almost the last year. I know you have the best of intentions, but I never intended this thread to be a "please help us decide if we're right for this" cyber-couch trip, but somehow it went there. Quote Share this post Link to post
dnmnms 55 Posted October 19, 2008 Well, I might be wrong here....goodness knows I have been wrong many many times in life..... I am wondering if maybe she just might be interested but fearful of just coming right out and admitting. Possible she is saying...well I will be passive ....then you get into the situation and she opens up and might enjoy all parties involved she can say she wouldnt "normally" have been interested/curious but got caught up in the moment. May be wayyyy wrong here but I still go back to the FF porn here. Not sure about anyone else here but I cant imagine getting off to something that doesnt interest me. Now i might watch a few things I am not into just to see how/what things are done....curious....but cant imagine getting turned on much less turned on enough to get off to it....Now I might be different but if something doesnt excite me there is no way I can watch it and get off much less more than once LOL...JMHO. Melody Quote Share this post Link to post
Greg & Sheryl 368 Posted October 19, 2008 Fantasies don't have to come true. You may be happier keeping this in the realm of fantasy and enjoying it. Reality may be a disappointment - or worse!This sentiment seems quite sad to us. We prefer to risk the disappointment rather than spend our retirement regretting the fact that we never tried. Quote Share this post Link to post
The Fuse 1,012 Posted October 19, 2008 Well, lassie, I don't think that that's the case considering the numerous other factors involved, some of which are written in other posts on this thread, but even if it was, I'll take what I can get. Been there, done that for almost the last year. I know you have the best of intentions, but I never intended this thread to be a "please help us decide if we're right for this" cyber-couch trip, but somehow it went there. I deserved that. I apologize for the tone in my first post. If you don't want a " "please help us decide if we're right for this" cyber-couch trip" thread, that's cool. The thread could have been a lot shorter. Just limit your responses to discussion about how to use an escort service, which was your original question, and say "thanks, but no thanks" to the advice. Quote Share this post Link to post
Swing*8701 887 Posted October 20, 2008 If you go to TheEroticReview.com you will be able to read reviews of escorts, experiences others have had, even fill out a form on what you want and get a list of qualified women. You can even search based on geography. Have fun Quote Share this post Link to post
JustAskJulie 2,595 Posted October 20, 2008 I'm trying to figure out how it is that swinger clubs give you the creeps, but the idea of an escort service doesn't.... Quote Share this post Link to post
Swing*8701 887 Posted October 21, 2008 Probably gets the creeps because and a Swing Club he has to deal with real people in a genuine way, whereas a call girl has nothing to do with either. Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 21, 2008 Probably gets the creeps because and a Swing Club he has to deal with real people in a genuine way, whereas a call girl has nothing to do with either. OR maybe, we have no desire to waste copious amounts of time at a place that, by all of the accounts of people I know personally that have attended them in my area, does not have what we are looking for! I work at a top-flight strip club in my area, so my ear is pretty close to the ground here. Not to mention the fact that our lives are pretty busy and full as it is. We want an easy, discreet encounter and have no desire to spend hour upon hour looking for a single girl, while consistently but politely turning down couple after couple. I mean, you don't wear signs in these places stating what it is specifically you are there for, do you? Would we rather have a pretty young thing who wants to play around with a couple of chunky 30-somethings for the sheer joy of it? Duh! But finding out that that happening has lotto-type odds has led us to inquire about the services of remunerated females. What it boils down to, boys & girls, is money vs. time: When I was in my early to mid 20's, single and broke, I had tons of the latter and none of the former, plus I was about 50-60 lbs. lighter and prettier as a result. Back then, I could get away with spending virtually no money, while getting tail on a fairly regular basis. Fast forward 10+ years, add a wife, a kid and a gut, and now I have a decent amount of the former, but precious little of the latter. We had no idea that finding what we wanted involved pounding the ground like this. Call us naive, but we had figured that the internet would cut through all of this BS and match tab A to slot B, so to speak. And, you're right, escorts aren't real people. I'm hoping the agency sends us that sexy cyborg we've had our eye on. Hopefully, she won't want "genuine" money. I swear, some seriously high horses around here... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 21, 2008 I'm trying to figure out how it is that swinger clubs give you the creeps, but the idea of an escort service doesn't.... OK, have you read this thread all the way through? And if I was completely comfortable with an escort, why would I have started this thread? Quote Share this post Link to post
fun4Ds 1,098 Posted October 21, 2008 Does your wife know any of the women from the club you work in ? Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 21, 2008 Does your wife know any of the women from the club you work in ? I think I know where you're going here, and believe me, my mind does the same about 2-3 times a day! Seriously, though, she's met a few of them outside of the club; one in particular at a party the club was throwing she thought was very attractive, and said something along the lines of "I wouldn't mind her being our first time at all!". I've hinted around at it when I do catch this girl at work (not often), but she has shown no real interest. I work about 25 miles from home, so my wife popping in on me while I'm on the job to form any further bonds isn't feasible. The frustrating thing is, every girl I work with that has met her raves about how pretty and cool she is, and, knowing most girls in this industry have bi tendencies, I go for the opening with caution. Something like: "So! Think she's hot, huh?" (sly grin, raising eyebrows -- I'm considered a jokester at work, so I can get away with this). This is where they usually make some raunchy joke and walk away, but if they seem to bite on the hook, I'll delve deeper, but I have to be careful to present our situation without coming off like a lecherous creep. I mean, I'm supposed to be protecting them from guys like that. My livelihood hangs in the balance here, so finese is paramount. Not to mention, the strip club gossip mill. That alone is enough to do me in even if I haven't done anything wrong! Quote Share this post Link to post
LikeMinds321 1,527 Posted October 21, 2008 It sounds easy, but do you go with an established, big service or an independent girl? Since prostitution is illegal, is there some kind of code you have to speak over the phone and/or in person so that everyone protects themselves? And if so, what does one say? .I have no idea how to hire a prostitute, but finding one doesn't seem like it would be too difficult. Since you seem determined, hire one. Then come back and tell us how it went. I'm curious to know what you discover. LM 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
2 4 1 30 Posted October 21, 2008 I have no idea how to hire a prostitute, Me either, thus this thread (which it doesn't look like you took the time to read) and its title. but finding one doesn't seem like it would be too difficult. Never said it was...? Since you seem determined, hire one. We "seem determined"? Now I know you didn't read this thread. Then come back and tell us how it went. I'm curious to know what you discover. Can't tell if this is sarcasm or genuine curiousity, but unlike a few others on this board, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here. Sorry, but from the way some of the posters have lashed out at us on this thread, with the exception of a few friendly names that I will PM, we will be keeping our future activities, whatever they may be and whomever they are with to ourselves. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
ncmd_couple 597 Posted October 21, 2008 2_4_1, Ok, I have been following this thread. Rule #1. Don't play at work. You have stated many reasons why you shouldn't, but your still trolling there. I would sugget that you stop that. The other option, is to troll at a strip club that you don't work at. You already know the territory. You and your wife go to another club and troll there. Honestly, having been to many countries and having traveled quite a bit around the US, you just need to expand your radar when you and your wife are out having a drink. You would be surprised at what you are missing. If you want a quick answer, then hiring a prostitute might be the solution. But that is frought with dangers as well. But if you are looking for a rewarding experience, quick is not going to provide that. We have three swinger's clubs in our area. If you are young, attractive, and you like to dance, then a visit or two to any of the clubs in our area would provide you with plenty of opportunities. S Quote Share this post Link to post
LikeMinds321 1,527 Posted October 21, 2008 ...Swingers clubs are not an option, as 1) they don't seem to be ideal for meeting single women willing to hook up with a couple, 2) she wants to keep this discreet and 3) these places really kind of freak us both out (no offense to those who attend them). We tried a certain online service that attempted to rip us off, and we got no action (not even inquiries!) whatsoever, so that route has definitely been soured for us as well... ...we have no desire to waste copious amounts of time at a place [swingers club] that, by all of the accounts of people I know personally that have attended them in my area, does not have what we are looking for! ... Would we rather have a pretty young thing who wants to play around with a couple of chunky 30-somethings for the sheer joy of it? Duh! But finding out that that happening has lotto-type odds has led us to inquire about the services of remunerated females...And, you're right, escorts aren't real people. I'm hoping the agency sends us that sexy cyborg we've had our eye on. Hopefully, she won't want "genuine" money. We "seem determined"? Now I know you didn't read this thread. I have read your thread and from what you have said above I feel you are determined to find a gal, and an escort has more appeal to you than the traditional swingers route. My previous post was not sarcasm. I say "go for it" and you come back defensive? Make up your mind; go for a hooker or go for a swinger. Since I hear about swinger experiences all the time on the Board I think someone posting their hooker experience would be interesting. That's why I invited you to report back, should your fantasy with one ever happen. LM Quote Share this post Link to post
WildMiCouple 325 Posted October 22, 2008 I guess Michigan must be a lot different from down here in FL. The irony here is, I am a bouncer in a strip club! The girls get solicited all the time by single men and couples and, me being their sound board for just about everything, they always tell me how disgusted they are by it and throw the numbers/business cards away. On top of that, as you might imagine, this is how I make my living, so soliciting the girls I am supposed to be protecting is definitely out of the question. I've discussed what my wife and I want to do with a few of them if the subject came up, and if one of them ever showed an interest, that would be great, but no takers so far. 2 4 1............you're making this way to difficult. Just go to a different strip club. I don't know about your club, but around here, there aren't that many couples that go to the clubs. A few, but not many. The dancers flock to us. Granted I've got a gorgeous and outgoing wingman The dozen or so times we've been to one, I bet.....if we'd have tried....we could have taken a dancer home half the time. We get way more attention as a couple than if I go with my buddies and flash Ben Franklins It seems the girls are more relaxed around a couple.....and as you mentioned most are bi. So try a different club and make it known you're interested in partying after they get off work. I'd put my money on you succeeding by your second visit. First visit for sure if you mention it would be worth their while Brett Quote Share this post Link to post
slevin 1,374 Posted October 22, 2008 Strip clubs are a strange place, even for a couple. The dancers generally get a ton of couples coming in thinking that they'll be able to hook up with a hot bi-sexual girl there. It happens very infrequently. The dancers are amazing at doing one thing: liberating your money from your wallet. That is their goal and they will go to great lengths to make you feel special, to feel wanted or to feel desired if it means they will make some cash. I wouldn't recommend it as a place to find a girl to join you unless you're familiar with stripclubs and are seen as being a non-customer. This means do not buy dances, don't buy into their fake flirtatiousness and compliments, let them know you're a part of their world; on the inside. Even getting a phonenumber from a dancer is no indication she is actually into you (whether you are a couple or a single guy). Dancers are notorious for giving out their number then stringing people along, getting them to come back out to the club, never promising to meet you outside of the club, but never actually saying they won't either. Many will even go so far (with single guys primarily) as meeting for dinner or drinks, then excusing themselves for some reason or another. A free dinner. Some do escorting on the side and it's not unheard of to get a dancers number, arrange to meet her outside of the club only to find out she wants money. I'd say 2 4 1 is in a better position than most to make something happen in a strip club, but better to do it in another club. Unless he knows that the management are fucking the dancers, in which case he can likely do the same. It is unfortunate, but management, DJs and bouncers fucking the dancers is incredibly common. All of that said, do couples pick up strippers and have a threesome without paying any money for it? Sure, it happens; but it happens far less often than people think. Quote Share this post Link to post
cplnuswing 4,713 Posted October 22, 2008 As some one else said, you are simply barking up the wrong tree on this board. We're swingers, and while that obviously doesn't preclude having ever used an escort, I would say it actually lowers the chances. There should be plenty of other forums out there that are home to people who know something about this topic, so that would be the place to ask. Even if you can't find a good forum, I googled "how to hire an escort", and on the first page of hits alone got about all the info I think I would need to know to go about doing that and having as good as can be expected odds for success the first time out. One article included a link to the same escort online review service that was pointed out earlier in this thread, so sounds like a good resource. On other comment on swinger clubs. As you well know, all strip clubs are not equal and the same is true with swing clubs. I can count the different strip clubs I have been to on one hand, but even then they ranged from an anything goes roadhouse dive where the "stage" was literally some plywood set up on some cider blocks in the corner of a dark back room versus the other extreme of a top notch club in a large city. Apples and oranges, but they both were strip clubs. Can't judge them all by one. Come back and tell us how it goes though. I'm with LM321 - genuinely curious to hear how it worked out. Quote Share this post Link to post