How To Use An Escort Service?

[2 4 1 30]

We "seem determined"? Now I know you didn't read this thread.

 

I have read your thread and from what you have said above I feel you are determined to find a gal, and an escort has more appeal to you than the traditional swingers route.

 

My apologies. The sentence "since you seem determined, hire one" led me to believe you were implying we were determined to hire an escort, and were only coming here for pointers and validation. Reading it again, I can see what you really intended.

 

My previous post was not sarcasm. I say "go for it" and you come back defensive?

 

As you can see, once again text leaves a lot to be desired in conveying true meaning. I said I was giving you the benefit of the doubt here and I sincerely meant it, but to you it sounds defensive.

 

Again, I apologize, but after reading the pasting I've gotten on this thread, can you really blame me?

 

Make up your mind; go for a hooker or go for a swinger.

 

Since I hear about swinger experiences all the time on the Board I think someone posting their hooker experience would be interesting. That's why I invited you to report back, should your fantasy with one ever happen.

 

LM

 

Whatever happens, I'll be happy to PM you, but start a thread with a title like, "Our Experience With an Escort"? I think not. I can just see the dozens of sarcastic slurs about venerial diseases, prostitution stings, appearing on Cops, etc. No thank you.

[slevin 1,374]

Again, I apologize, but after reading the pasting I've gotten on this thread, can you really blame me?

 

Whatever happens, I'll be happy to PM you, but start a thread with a title like, "Our Experience With an Escort"? I think not. I can just see the dozens of sarcastic slurs about venerial diseases, prostitution stings, appearing on Cops, etc. No thank you.

 

You haven't really gotten treated badly here. People have expressed their views in a frank and honest way, but I don't think anyone was aggressive, dismissive or argumentative. As you noted in this reply, text conversation leaves a lot open to interpretation Don't mistake peoples frank and honest communication here for judgment or sarcasm. Through 4 pages of replies I think you have gotten a lot of great responses, to completely write off participating because of your interpretation of the minority of those replies is misguided I think.

 

From my experience, everyone here has a big heart and wants to help. They are generally always on the side of painfully honest, but given the topics that are discussed here I think painfully honest is a good thing. If you ever wonder about someones intention with posting a reply here, in my experience you should assume the best intention rather than the worst intention. I have seen very little in the way of flames or judgment here; almost always honest communication no matter whether people agree with it or not. I don't think many people here have experience with escorts and that shows in the responses you got: you asked a community of swingers about setting up a threesome (intending to find an escort) and you got cautions about escorts and information on swinging. Pretty much what I'd expect to get as an answer

 

Don't go running off, stick around and share your experiences whether it's with an escort or not.

[2 4 1 30]

As some one else said, you are simply barking up the wrong tree on this board. We're swingers, and while that obviously doesn't preclude having ever used an escort, I would say it actually lowers the chances. There should be plenty of other forums out there that are home to people who know something about this topic, so that would be the place to ask.

 

Even if you can't find a good forum, I googled "how to hire an escort", and on the first page of hits alone got about all the info I think I would need to know to go about doing that and having as good as can be expected odds for success the first time out. One article included a link to the same escort online review service that was pointed out earlier in this thread, so sounds like a good resource.

 

On other comment on swinger clubs. As you well know, all strip clubs are not equal and the same is true with swing clubs. I can count the different strip clubs I have been to on one hand, but even then they ranged from an anything goes roadhouse dive where the "stage" was literally some plywood set up on some cider blocks in the corner of a dark back room versus the other extreme of a top notch club in a large city. Apples and oranges, but they both were strip clubs. Can't judge them all by one.

 

Come back and tell us how it goes though. I'm with LM321 - genuinely curious to hear how it worked out.

 

Thank you. Your first sentence cuts right to the heart of the matter, and is something I would like to address in a new thread, as I think it should be read by newbies and veterans alike. I'm titling it "An Issue of Understanding". Hope you like it.

 

Oh, and you're on the PM list

[2 4 1 30]

You haven't really gotten treated badly here. People have expressed their views in a frank and honest way, but I don't think anyone was aggressive, dismissive or argumentative. .

 

Going to agree to disagree here.

 

As you noted in this reply, text conversation leaves a lot open to interpretation Don't mistake peoples frank and honest communication here for judgment or sarcasm.

 

Hey, I'm all for "frank and honest", but I also believe in "tact", and it was clearly missing from, as you've said, a minority of the posters' comments.

 

Through 4 pages of replies I think you have gotten a lot of great responses, to completely write off participating because of your interpretation of the minority of those replies is misguided I think.

 

From my experience, everyone here has a big heart and wants to help. They are generally always on the side of painfully honest, but given the topics that are discussed here I think painfully honest is a good thing. If you ever wonder about someones intention with posting a reply here, in my experience you should assume the best intention rather than the worst intention. I have seen very little in the way of flames or judgment here; almost always honest communication no matter whether people agree with it or not. I don't think many people here have experience with escorts and that shows in the responses you got: you asked a community of swingers about setting up a threesome (intending to find an escort) and you got cautions about escorts and information on swinging. Pretty much what I'd expect to get as an answer

 

Don't go running off, stick around and share your experiences whether it's with an escort or not.

 

Well, I still think I got a heckuva lot more than just "cautions", and I sure didn't "expect" some of these answers, but it's water under the bridge.

 

Thank you for the kind words and the invitation to stay. Hopefully see you around the boards.

[2 4 1 30]

2 4 1............you're making this way to difficult. Just go to a different strip club. I don't know about your club, but around here, there aren't that many couples that go to the clubs. A few, but not many. The dancers flock to us. Granted I've got a gorgeous and outgoing wingman The dozen or so times we've been to one, I bet.....if we'd have tried....we could have taken a dancer home half the time. We get way more attention as a couple than if I go with my buddies and flash Ben Franklins It seems the girls are more relaxed around a couple.....and as you mentioned most are bi.

 

So try a different club and make it known you're interested in partying after they get off work. I'd put my money on you succeeding by your second visit. First visit for sure if you mention it would be worth their while

 

Brett

 

Once again, thanks, but I just don't see that happening. Slevin's post concerning this an excellent narrative of the reality I see every day.

[Guest screaminggood]

2 4 1, I, too, would also be interested in hearing how a date with an escort went, if y'all choose to go that route. It's been relatively easy for us to find an extra woman at our favorite club for classic menages so I haven't ever considered hiring someone for it. But I appreciate your sentence about more money than time.

 

Do what's right for you two!

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

2 4 1 said:

...we have no desire to waste copious amounts of time at a place that, by all of the accounts of people I know personally that have attended them in my area, does not have what we are looking for!

 

Would we rather have a pretty young thing who wants to play around with a couple of chunky 30-somethings for the sheer joy of it? Duh! But finding out that that happening has lotto-type odds has led us to inquire about the services of remunerated females

If this is the case, then this forum doesn't have what you are looking for, either. As we suggested earlier in this thread, you would be much better off seeking advice from an escort forum rather than a swingers forum.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I don't think it's that big of a deal asking advice about it on this forum.

 

Hell, we give advice on lots of non-swinger specific activities, such as hairstyle help, wireless internet help, as well as abuse issues and what kind of mattress to buy.

 

While it may not be something many would be interested in, I think it's in play as a subject to be discussed.

 

The advice on an escort forum may be better, but the advice here is probably going to be more entertaining.

[iapr 24]

I'm coming in pretty late here and really haven't read all of the replys so forgive me if I am out of the current loop.

 

 

I have read a few of your posts and your profile. I agree with those that say that hiring an escort is not swinging. HOWEVER I really don't consider those people that ONLY want a FMF threesome as swingers/swinging either and I think that in a case of someone strictly looking for a single fem for a fantasy night FMF that a professional may be the ticket.

 

Since I can not officially condone anything illegal or unsafe my recommendation would be to check out some of the legal brothels in Nevada. A good amount of their business these days is couples and there are even brothels and individual girls that specialize in couples.

 

I'll be blunt, if someone is strictly interested in a single fem for an FMF the lifestyle is NOT a good place to look. I hate to burst bubbles but "for real" single fems are very rare in the lifestyle and the ones that do exist are often not attractive, many of them have a ton of issues and ALL of them have their own agendas and motives. Some of those agendas and motives are harmless and some are not.

 

The advantages of seeking a professional in a legal brothel are these -

 

- You can pick one that is drop-dead gorgeous.

 

- They are tested monthly for STDs and have to follow many non-negotiable safe sex practices with all clients.

 

- It is in a safe and protected environment.

 

- You get to decide what you want and how you want it, they decide on how much it will cost you.

 

- They have an agenda and that agenda is making $. Everything is all upfront and on the table. There are no hidden agendas or suprises down the road.

 

If you do a search of Nevada brothels you can gather all the info you need and there are also forums similar to this one that deal with them. Post these same questions there and you may get a little more applicable information there.

 

As has been noted before swinging and prostitution are two completely different things.

[sultrysimarabbw 18]

Hello Everyone,

 

I am new to the board and the Lifestyle. I chose this topic to post on because it piqued my curiosity. Escorts Services are illegal , this is very true. However to say that they are riddled with disease is deceptive. Unless you decide to go with the crack head who happens to charge 50 for a session you will find that most independent escorts are very clean. They protect themselves at all cost and are tested regularly. As for the remark about the ladies who are not part of an agency ,not being able to do so for a reason? Well that is a matter of opinion. Agencies operate on splits. The girls do all the work and they get to give the agency 40% in some cases 50 % of everything they make. Most Independent Escorts choose to be independent for this very reason. They learn to do their own client screening to protect themselves. because Agencies take 40 to 50 % of their pay , but they don't care if the customer they are sending them to is drunk or drugged or violent. All they care about is getting their cut.

 

I do not understand the attitude towards Escorts held within the swinger community. I had always believed that to be open minded one must understand that everyone has their own unique way of expressing themselves. As Individuals we all deserve that our choices be respected. I do not see much openmindedness going on when one group is condemned for being honest enough to charge for playdates. When others who pay clubs to get them together with people in other words facilitating sex. The difference is semantics. Especially since swinging is a crime in some states, is it not?

 

Not being one for Self Righteous attitudes, I will say that in most cases for those who are looking for a pleasant and fulfilling experience an Escort would be a good choice. The True Independent Escort of quality will not only take care of themselves and make sure that everyone is safe, but will ensure a pleasant and fulfilling session.

 

I do apologize if I have offended anyone, but I truly do not understand the animosity that exists in the swinger community against a group of people who hurt no one and provide a service that is sought by many. Just as Pornography does. yet no one looks down their nose at a Jenna Jamison. Why is that?

 

If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. If this post is offensive then please feel free to delete it . If you feel the need to send me angry or derogatory comments ,please refrain as I am not here to create trouble. I am simply answering a question that was posed and felt compelled to clear up some misconceptions.

 

Thank you for your time and attention.

[ncmd_couple 597]

 

Simara,

 

I honestly don't think anyone here has anything against escorts as individuals. Maybe it is just that society paints them as women, and men, that are tainted in some way or another. I do think that everyone was trying to tell him what the risks are or could be.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Everyone is open-minded to a point, including swingers. This is where the majority apparently agrees to disagree. There are other issues that the majority of swingers don't agree with either. So trying to imply that we have to be open-minded about everything that comes across here isn't a good offense or defense. We will discuss most subjects that relate to swinging here and some that don't as seen in our other forums.

 

Swinging may be illegal in some states due to some sex act being perform and not swinging per se.

 

While prostitution is illegal in all states but one? And if I understand right escorts are closely linked to prostitution for a reason.

 

My comfort level is to play with couples and not a prostitute/escort.

 

And porn is another discussion altogether and another comparison.

 

With no malice intended, you talk like you are an escort.

[slevin 1,374]

Escorts are quasi-legal in Canada. Solicitation is illegal (streetwalking) and running a house that provides prostitution is illegal (brothels), but a woman providing 'escort' services for money that may include sexual activity is legal. Which is why websites and newspaper ads are so up front here in Canada.

 

I was really surprised when I learned that.

[sultrysimarabbw 18]

Everyone is open-minded to a point, including swingers. This is where the majority apparently agrees to disagree. There are other issues that the majority of swingers don't agree with either. So trying to imply that we have to be open-minded about everything that comes across here isn't a good offense or defense. We will discuss most subjects that relate to swinging here and some that don't as seen in our other forums.

 

Swinging may be illegal in some states due to some sex act being perform and not swinging per se.

 

While prostitution is illegal in all states but one? And if I understand right escorts are closely linked to prostitution for a reason.

 

My comfort level is to play with couples and not a prostitute/escort.

 

And porn is another discussion altogether and another comparison.

 

With no malice intended, you talk like you are an escort.

 

Everyone is entitled to their comfort level, I do not dispute that fact. I know many women who have turned to escorting to feed their families. I believe in that little saying that states......."There but for the grace of God go I"

 

I am not saying that anyone here on the board in particular is maligning Escorts. However, I do see it often from many in the lifestyle.

A porn actor is paid to have sex on the screen for a profit. An escort is paid by a client to have sex with them. One is art, supposedly the other is immoral , again supposedly.

 

I am not an escort , but what difference would it make to this discussion one way or the other? The truth is still truth regardless of it's source.

The safety issue is relevant to swingers as well, as I have heard of individuals who play without benefit of protection against STD's. It is always smart regardless of who one plays with. In my opinion anyway.

 

As I said it is not my intent to upset anyone. I am simply trying to understand the animosity I have seen. As I live my life by the moto......

"live and let live".

 

Thank you for allowing me to participate.

 

Simara

[ncmd_couple 597]

Simara,

 

Actually, if you were or had been an escort your insight would have been interesting! Personally, I don't know of anyone who has had to do that. Yes, STDs are a major issue and you will find a lot of discussions on that topic here. We are glad you are here and thanks for putting your opinion out there.

 

S

[sultrysimarabbw 18]

I have been asked to share something with you all. However, first I will need to say that full disclosure was not possible in my mind until I was sure that what I had to say would be understood. I believe that for the most part it will be. I am sure that for those who neither understand not accept what I am about to say it will be difficult. I would like to impart to you that what I did , I did for very compelling reasons. Furthermore if in these turbulent times push came to shove I would not think twice about doing it again if the welfare of my children was at stake.

With that being said , the following is an e-mail I received from one of your members (who will remain anonymous until such a time as they would wish to reveal themselves) I will also post my response to their inquiry.

**************************************************************

 

I was once an escort. When I was on the street and needed a way to feed my kids and acquire shelter to keep them safe.

We are not all crack head whores riddled with disease. I am a Psychology major who had a very hard time after my divorce. I won't apologize for what I had to do. No one has ever stepped up and said I will help you feed your kids or clothe them. therefore no one has the right to criticize my choices to keep them fed.

I am no longer that person, after a brief stint I was able to straighten my life out and get a good job. Does that change any of the truths I mentioned? I truly don't understand the animosity and that is why I was writing . Not trying to show anyone up. Just trying to get a real answer.

The premise behind labeling Escorts as Prostitutes and Prostitution being illegal , a misdemeanor just as extra marital sex is in some states. Is because they do not differentiate between those who deal drugs , are on drugs and are controlled by their pimps for drugs or drug money. Not to mention the runaways that are forced to prostitute themselves. Not the same by any reach of the imagination. The large majority of Independent Escorts are clean, they do not deal nor do they take drugs and are just trying to make a living.

No need to worry yourself. I will not be participating on the swingers board any longer. I just wanted to see if it was the same everywhere swingers congregated.

I apologize once again if I upset anyone.

You have a wonderful evening and please take care ,

 

Simara

 

 

You are welcomed at the board. We all have different opinions just as you do. I personally wish you would have been up front on the board about yourself. You have a unique perspective that most of us don't have. We just have to agree to disagree. Others may agree with you. That's the way of life. Sometimes things are apples and oranges.

 

With you history and degree you could offer a better insight to some of the members who are interested. You seem very able to articulate yourself very well.

 

You didn't upset anyone. No worries. Have a wonderful life.

 

XXXXXXXX

**************************************************************

I thank you for having sent me this e-mail for it gave me a bit of hope that Escorts or in this case ex-escorts are not pariahs everywhere they go. That perhaps one who has been through the hard experience life deals us sometimes . One can in turn help others to understand what happens on the dark side of what true life can bring us. You seem to think I have a perspective to add here that most of you are not privy to. If that is indeed the case then I gladly open myself up to any inquiries you may have. I will do my best to answer all respectful questions to the best of my abilities. Therefore if you have a legitimate concern or query , please feel free to contact me.

Thank you all for your time and attention,

Warmest Regards,

 

Simara

[JustMrJ 178]

Simara,

 

First... welcome to the board.

 

Second... Thank you for your wonderful post. I think your experience and insight could be helpful. You just never know.

 

*HUGS*

 

 

2_4_1,

 

I have not personally met anyone who was a professional prostitute or escort, but I have read a bit about what is required in Nevada for professional brothel workers. It is probably the route I would go if there were some fantasy my wife would not/could not fulfill and we couldn't find swing partners to fulfill either. She and I have discussed it at length and her only requirement is that she could be an observer at the very least.

 

I see nothing wrong with finding a professional to take care of this fantasy. Time is an issue and money is less of an issue, so it seems to be a good fit.

 

Since you already live in Nevada, it would seem a good choice that would not take too long for travel either.

 

Good luck in all you do.

[sultrysimarabbw 18]

I though some of you would be interested in this piece that I found on another board I belong to.

 

******************************************************************

DUNCANVILLE, Texas — A man illegally used his home to run a sex club in his quiet suburban Dallas neighborhood, a municipal jury ruled Tuesday.

 

Jim Trulock, 59, was found guilty on five counts of operating a sexually oriented business without a permit and five counts of operating a sex club, all misdemeanors. He faces $7,500 in fines, but he also has pending criminal charges tied to his weekend swinger parties.

 

He also was charged with suspicion of engaging in organized criminal activity, a felony that carries a sentence of five to 99 years or life in prison and a fine up to $10,000. A court date for that charge has not been set.

 

Attorneys for Trulock said his home was not a business, but rather a private residence where friends socialized. A Web site advertising the weekend parties at "The Cherry Pit" showed a room of beds grouped together and underwear hanging above a bar.

 

City prosecutors contended that the Web site and admission charges proved the home was being used as a business. Trulock's attorneys said the money came from voluntary donations.

 

Prosecutors said Julie M. Norris, 30, was Trulock's business partner. She is also charged with suspicion of engaging in organized criminal activity.

 

Trulock and Norris were also arrested last month on suspicion of violating the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Code for allegedly possessing large amounts of liquor in their home.The Duncanville City Council had passed an ordinance banning sexually oriented businesses. Trulock and Norris have a civil case pending against the city challenging the ordinance.

 

Duncanville is 12 miles southwest of Dallas.

 

************

A responses from some of the members:

 

I have been to several social at the cherry pit. They are run as a home party. never seen any of this going on. infact it is was just plain social.

 

Once I paid less than the donation to attend with no problems and the next time I paid more than the donation.

 

The groups there were just as curious as I about what goes on. It was fun and a way to meet new couples. it is a shame they are taken down this road!

 

I am not sure they will ever recover!

******

 

That is the point they say the ladies got money for doing sex acts. They did not get money. it was a couples swing club.

I never paid any one for sex there. I never made money I paid a donation!

I gave a donation of $60 one time then $100 the next as my decision to pay what I desired to donate.

it was BYOB so they were not selling drinks they were selling set ups.

There is a lot of finger pointing going on here they want them out of the neighborhood he would be better off moving!

******************************************************************

 

This appeared on one of the escort Discussion groups I still belong to . I thought you might find it interesting.

 

Hugs and Kisses,

 

Simara

[ncmd_couple 597]

Simara,

 

Yes, we have been following the story on the Cherry Pit. I'm typing, so I can't find it right now. Be that as it will be.

 

My personal experience has been when I was in the Navy. I have seen the ugly side of prostitution overseas. Something that I watched, but avoided contact with. Your situation, was very different, and I'm glad that helped you move on in your life, and the life of your children. The thing that matters is that you are here now. Your insight is valuable to many of us, because you know the other side of the coin. Thanks!!

 

S

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Simara, first off Welcome.

 

I'm a little confused on the PM recap that you shared. Are you the retired escort or was that someone that had PMed you that was the retired escort?

 

To you (or to her) I have to ask, if in your mind (or hers) there is nothing wrong with being an escort then why did you have to straighten your life out and get a good job?

 

Quote

I am no longer that person, after a brief stint I was able to straighten my life out and get a good job.

 

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with choosing to be an escort, that is a choice that can be made and I agree with your earlier comment that it is no different than choosing to do porn or as I once did an online website. In either case to some extent you are getting paid to have sex... and to a large extent (probably more so in the website option and the escort option) you get to choose WHO you have sex with.

 

My earlier post questioning how someone would get the creeps from a swinger club but not from an escort was not to desparage escorts... but more to say that in a way they are on the same level. Typically escorts (at least the higher end ones... and there is a difference between your standard street hooker and a high end escort) do get tested regularly and do take precautions to protect themselves. As far as safety that would (IMO) put them in the same league as most swingers. I think for most people the negativity in their minds regarding escorts is more due to stereotype and the instant gut reaction putting lumping all "Pay to play" folks in one jar.

 

You have to ask yourself tho, if what you believe is what you really believe... you can't have it both ways. You can't say that you believe there is nothing wrong with being an escort then in your next post say that you did it for a while but then you straightened your life up and got a good job.

[slevin 1,374]

This might be a helpful read as well:

 

Las Vegas Escorts Blog - Erotica - Nude Photography » Blog Archive » Question Of The Day: How To Comfortably Book A Girl For A Couple

[sultrysimarabbw 18]

Hello Julie,

 

I would like to thank you for sharing your experience and your opinion.

We are in agreement in alot of things. However, I would like to point out that I in no way shape or form said that there was nothing wrong with the life of an escort. I merely pointed out that to say that escorts by the simple act of being lumped with all prostitutes including the common streetwalker was erroneous. As you so eloquently stated they are more careful , tested and much cleaner. Not to mention much more intelligent in there choices and their screening processes than anyone can even imagine. The clients are screened for safety and for health issues. I am not at liberty to go into the details of the screening process. Suffice it to say that they are elaborate and exhaustive at best.

Alas, as in everything within the real world the life of an escort can be very dangerous as there are many out there who would hurt them simply because they are escorts. Rape, assault, abuse, sadistic pleasure. Many have been hurt or killed simply because people believe them to be sub human. Everyone is ready to judge and decide what is right and what is wrong. While everyone has the right to determine what path is true and correct for themselves. No one has the right to decide for another. Nor do they have the right to belittle another for whatever choices they have made in their life.

Now while I speak for upscale escorts and not streetwalkers or crack addicts who happen to prostitute themselves. I can safely say that I will defend the upscale escort from being herded into the term of disease riddled prostitute because it simply is not true. That is what I was speaking of. Not the defense of the life of one.

Now when I said I straightened out my life it was simply stating that I had left the escorting behind for a more normal way of life. Am I proud of having been an escort? By no means would I ever say such a thing. It is illegal and very dangerous. Would I do it again if the circumstances warranted it? Yes I would. My children's well being means more to me than my safety or peace of mind. There are many who would look down their noses to judge me , but unless they were willing to help in feeding ,clothing and providing a roof over my children's heads. Honestly they have no right to judge me or whatever decisions I have made in my life. As long as I have hurt no one but myself , I owe no apology.

So you see what I wrote was to make people who otherwise would not have known that Escorts are not who they believe(or have been led to believe) to be. We come from all walks of life for all different kinds of reasons. And do not deserve to be lumped with the common prostitute merely because people refuse to acknowledge the difference. Just as the moral majority or mainstream America consider swingers to be amoral. I believe everyone has a reason to do and to believe what they choose; as long as no one is hurt because of it. I also wrote that post because I believe there are many people who would like to know the truth. Therefore I shared my truth. I am not proud of my choices, but circumstances being what they were. I made the right choice for me at the time and as I said before ; would not hesitate if the situation called for me to do so once again.

So yes , I am the former escort and no I do not glorify nor recommend the life of an escort. We do what we must with what we are given.

I thank you for your time and your patience with me. You all have a wonderful day !!

[ncmd_couple 597]

Simara,

 

You have many reasons to be proud of your choices, because they were the best choices you could make at the time. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

S