Wanna go away for a weekend?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We just got a note on SLS from a couple that we've met ONCE at a social. We barely talked to them then other than the husband telling me that his wife really wanted to get with me (she had not spoken to me at that point). It gave me the feeling of one of those "oh your bi, then you'll do me" moments that I'm not so fond of. So we haven't ever really had any desire to connect with this couple.

 

Our profile currently has posted that we are "away due to recovery from illness". So we get an email from them today asking how long we will be AWOL because they really want to meet with us and want to us to go away with them for a weekend in the mountains....

 

Is it just me or is that a bit forward on their end? Even if we might be slightly interested in them that would seem a bit forward to us... I could see it if it was a couple we'd hooked up with or at the very least had dinner with and confirmed there was a connection to follow on. But this is a couple that we haven't even really had a conversation with, and like I said I don't think the lady has spoken to us yet...

[slevin 1,374]

Definitely wouldn't be something we'd do with a couple we hadn't gotten to know and played with a few times. Spending that much time together is only something we'd be willing to do with a couple we really enjoyed spending non-sexual time with as well as the sexual time. Also need to build up some trust to go away for a weekend I think. A couple that doesn't feel the same way about a weekend away being a bit of a bigger deal would concern me that either they are new and don't realize the magnitude and potential pitfalls of that situation, or some other issue that I can't think of at the moment.

 

On the topic of her not talking to you yet, that is a tough one for us. It stands out to us as a redflag, but could also be that she is shy (in personality and perhaps exacerbated by her desire to be with a woman and her inexperience with it). That she isn't willing to even try and make some conversation is worrying though, we'd be hesitant about it. Katrina is shy at first as well, but she makes the effort to talk and flirt as best she can given her shyness and discomfort with being more forward than she's used to. We like it when the other couple is at least to that level so we know that everyone is interested in whats going on, interested in each other etc.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Is it just me or is that a bit forward on their end? Even if we might be slightly interested in them that would seem a bit forward to us... I could see it if it was a couple we'd hooked up with or at the very least had dinner with and confirmed there was a connection to follow on.

 

Too forward for us. It would be a red flag since they asked before they even really knew us. Asking someone we didn't know in the slightest to do something like that is just not our style, and would make us really wonder about what we might be getting into. Seems like a good recipe for disaster.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

To be fair to her it's not like she's had a lot of opportunity to talk to us. We've met them ONCE and very briefly at a social. He recognized me and told me that she wanted to get with me.. and then we introduced ourselves to them. We were meeting some other folks so we didn't sit with them and they left early. That's the extend of our in-person conversation. Then beyond that it's been a couple of messages on SLS, mostly surrounding dinner meetups that we do locally and one other message from them inviting us to a party they were hosting.

[socolais 696]

Every coin has two sides. Yeah, perhaps it's a little "forward" to present such an invitation up front. Maybe this is their way of being honest and open - no hidden adgendas. They want to get to know you two better an a weekend in the mountains is an available option.....

 

You can accept, decline or counter offer

[Trace Ekies 186]

It seems perfectly natural to ask someone you don't know to go away to the mountains with you...right?

 

I love the assumptions people make...

All gay men want to have sex with all men.

All gay women want to have sex with all women.

All swingers want to have sex with everyone all of the time.

All dogs hate all cats.

 

And so on...

 

It seems a bit forward to me. I wouldn't take offense, in fact, I might be flattered, but like you Julie, we need a bit more than a casual conversation at a Meet 'n Greet before we'll head off to the mountains with a couple.

 

Trace

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Every time I look at this thread title, I think..... yes...

 

So,without sounding biased

 

We just got a note on SLS from a couple that we've met ONCE at a social. We barely talked to them then other than the husband telling me that his wife really wanted to get with me (she had not spoken to me at that point). It gave me the feeling of one of those "oh your bi, then you'll do me" moments that I'm not so fond of. So we haven't ever really had any desire to connect with this couple.

I can kind of see this. Over the last few months, with all the corporate down sizing the store Mrs fun works at, is closing. With her returning to work from FMLA things are really busy to say the least.... That has left me on the computer more than her. I don't make a habit of choosing Who she is interested in. But under the current situation she has asked me to pursue a few people.... She/We, are interested in.

Our profile currently has posted that we are "away due to recovery from illness". So we get an email from them today asking how long we will be AWOL because they really want to meet with us and want to us to go away with them for a weekend in the mountains....

I know we have been out on our own in some very comfortable places and thought.... Wouldn't it be nice to have a couple or single with us here.

Is it just me or is that a bit forward on their end? Even if we might be slightly interested in them that would seem a bit forward to us... I could see it if it was a couple we'd hooked up with or at the very least had dinner with and confirmed there was a connection to follow on. But this is a couple that we haven't even really had a conversation with, and like I said I don't think the lady has spoken to us yet...

I have to think even barely knowing you guys. They have considered you two are comfortable to be around. Again, I can see the offer. I can see their vibe that it would be a relaxed, no issue atmosphere. I'm thinking they either know about you, more than you know them. Or, they are a bit forward...

To be fair to her it's not like she's had a lot of opportunity to talk to us. We've met them ONCE and very briefly at a social. He recognized me and told me that she wanted to get with me.. and then we introduced ourselves to them.

As a guy, I don't actually tell a woman Mrs.fun wants to get with them. Its usually the other way around... Not that it couldn't happen.

 

 

 

 

We were meeting some other folks so we didn't sit with them and they left early. That's the extend of our in-person conversation. Then beyond that it's been a couple of messages on SLS, mostly surrounding dinner meetups that we do locally and one other message from them inviting us to a party they were hosting.

 

Oh, we would definitely want to check them out at a party or dinner. We like to think we choose people we get a comfortable vibe from. I think they see that with you two. Now its a matter of your comfort level/interests with them.

 

We like to think we are with adults that can talk about anything. And that means understanding things might not work out. Thats one thing we learned anytime we venture out. If all els fails, we are cool with ending the evening/ day/weekend.... as a couple alone.... It has happened

[BiloxiCouple 695]

If you are in the mountains and hear banjo music playing and someone saying you have a purty mouth. Run!!! Squeal like a pig, boy!

 

I couldn't resist. Check please.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Hey Julie,

 

Want to spend this weekend in the mountains with us?

 

Just couldn't resist that either!

 

But seriously. It sounds like they have been trying to get that normal meet time, but things haven't worked out. Maybe they just thought, "Honey, we are going to the mountains this weekend, want to see if Julie wants to go to?"

 

S

[Shynquiet 16]

It seems perfectly natural to ask someone you don't know to go away to the mountains with you...right?

 

I love the assumptions people make...

All gay men want to have sex with all men.

All gay women want to have sex with all women.

All swingers want to have sex with everyone all of the time.

All dogs hate all cats.

 

And so on...

 

It seems a bit forward to me. I wouldn't take offense, in fact, I might be flattered, but like you Julie, we need a bit more than a casual conversation at a Meet 'n Greet before we'll head off to the mountains with a couple.

 

Trace

 

I so agree with this.

[xyzzy07 15]

It sounds like they're trying to come up with some interesting way to get to know you. Also, they may not be very skilled socially, which sometimes manifests itself as forwardness. I'd be flattered, if I were you.

 

However, I agree with other posters that a weekend is too long with a couple you don't really know. What if they're very shy? It may get awkward. You haven't said whether you're interested. If so, I'd counter with an offer to meet for dinner to get to know them better.

[Willing29 66]

Sounds a bit forward but as others have said maybe they are trying to get together to meet you guys a bit more. But a whole weekend away sounds like too much meet time if things dont go well for any of you.

[LFM2 1,482]

Huh. I think I'd prefer to start out with drinks or dinner first. I'm not sure how I'd take the whole weekend getaway thing. If you went, you'd be kinda "stuck" there if things went south.

 

I agree that it's pretty forward for a couple that you've exchanged less than 50 words with want to get away for the weekend.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We're not really interested in them. Mainly because, as I said, the extent of the conversation with them was the guy telling us "she found out you are bi and can't wait to get with you". The whole "oh you're bi let's fuck" thing is a huge turn off to me. See below assumptions.

 

In a way yes I guess it is flattering, but on the other hand, we see going away for a weekend with people as something we would only do with people we are really comfortable with and know well enough to know that we would be comfortable hanging out with them all weekend (with OR WITHOUT sex in the equation). And to us, in a way, when we see someone who sees a weekend away as less of a deal than us it makes them someone we wouldn't want to be with.

 

There are very few couples we know that we would really feel comfortable spending a whole weekend with... and they are definately people we've gotten to know and feel comfortable with to the point that while we'd love to screw their brains out we'd all be cool just hanging out too.

 

 

 

I love the assumptions people make...

All gay men want to have sex with all men.

All gay women want to have sex with all women.

All swingers want to have sex with everyone all of the time.

All dogs hate all cats.

 

And so on...

 

[TravlParty 87]

The whole "oh you're bi let's fuck" thing is a huge turn off for me.

 

I'm with you on that. Just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm ready for every bi female I meet.

 

For this couple, I'd have to answer with, "Thank you for the invitation, but I don't feel we're compatible."

[GoshenCouple 15]

It does seem a bit forward. Everyone here has brought up some very good points. We would rather start out with dinner and drinks on neutral ground before going away for a weekend. In the end the decision is yours to make and nobdy else can make it for you. We have found that it is best to go with your instinct.

[seniorsam 15]

Ok Julie, you drew me out with this one. I've been lurking under this persona for a while but I've actually been around the board under a different ID for years. Not to be deceptive, but but because my circumstance has changed dramatically these past few years.

 

Anyway, I don't think anyone has ever given advice or insight that could equal your own, on any subject. Which leaves me to ponder, if I may be so presumptive, what's this post about? One, it's a subtle query to examine the basic question amongst the usual sage advice of most of this board's posters; Two, there's some reason you have some interest in these two.

 

The forthright Julie I have come to admire, and still do, would have dismissed this entire question with, 'no way, next question!' But for some reason you seem to, at least in some way, entertain. As one poster said, it may just be a simple case of a new couple who don't have sufficient experience or social skills to know that their invitation is quite unseeming.

 

I would suggest that, if there is even the slightest interest, for whatever reason, you should decline the weekend invitation and counter with a dinner or drinks/coffee meeting.

 

Rob

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Thanks for visiting with us, Rob.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok Julie, you drew me out with this one. I've been lurking under this persona for a while but I've actually been around the board under a different ID for years. Not to be deceptive, but but because my circumstance has changed dramatically these past few years.

 

Anyway, I don't think anyone has ever given advice or insight that could equal your own, on any subject. Which leaves me to ponder, if I may be so presumptive, what's this post about? One, it's a subtle query to examine the basic question amongst the usual sage advice of most of this board's posters; Two, there's some reason you have some interest in these two.

 

The forthright Julie I have come to admire, and still do, would have dismissed this entire question with, 'no way, next question!' But for some reason you seem to, at least in some way, entertain. As one poster said, it may just be a simple case of a new couple who don't have sufficient experience or social skills to know that their invitation is quite unseeming.

 

I would suggest that, if there is even the slightest interest, for whatever reason, you should decline the weekend invitation and counter with a dinner or drinks/coffee meeting.

 

Rob

 

 

Rob,

 

Sometimes things even cross my mind and I wonder "What would folks on the board think about this situation". I wasn't looking for advice, I already knew what we would do and how we would respond. I was just sharing something that had occured and interested in how others would respond to the situation. Everyone is different and that's what makes the responses we get on the threads here so interesting.