What do you say to the Bi Guy?

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I thought I would start this thread because of so much going on about the subject. Like, if you meet a couple from a different venue. Like a club or meet and greet. Some where, you didn't see on their profile the male is Bi.

 

Then you find out face to face the male half of a couple is bisexual.

 

What happens? You know, the talking... or turning down...

 

Anyone have this happen?

 

I don't see allot of how people handle this situation. What they have done or not done. Would do, or should do...

 

What about the Bi men, do you keep it quiet?

 

How or when, would you offer this fact?

 

If so, how did things turn out?

[Vjklander 138]

We will play with bi guys, but only the MF part.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

Well for us I'm usually the one to quickly point out that we're not interested in bi men or couples with bi-men. For us it's really something that holds no interest for me or him. He is 110% straight and I'm a 1000% wigged out by even the thought of seeing that.

 

I don't have any problem with someone making that personally choice to be a bi-male - it's a personal choice! I however don't care to to watch it as it would be a huge turn off for me/us. We are in this lifestyle for excitement & sexual stimulation........not to doing something that will/would dimenish it! lol

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We will play with bi guys, but only the MF part.

So, do you make it a point to discuss this, with couples you meet, that you don't know ?. Do you bring it up ?

 

Well for us I'm usually the one to quickly point out that we're not interested in bi men or couples with bi-men. For us it's really something that holds no interest for me or him. He is 110% straight and I'm a 1000% wigged out by even the thought of seeing that.

 

I don't have any problem with someone making that personally choice to be a bi-male - it's a personal choice! I however don't care to to watch it as it would be a huge turn off for me/us. We are in this lifestyle for excitement & sexual stimulation........not to doing something that will/would dimenish it! lol

I understand exactly how you feel. But again, how does it go when you find out this fact from a couple you are interested in. Do you just say "bi bi, we are not interested now"...and walk away?

 

Does it make Bi males/ couples wish they hadn't said anything?

 

It just seems that if it is becoming more popular. The conversation comes up more often, and should be handled/ dealt with.

[TravlParty 87]

So, we're in this bar with several couples. While talking to one couple, we ask what their preferences are. This is always a topic we bring up, wanting no surprises in the bedroom. We let it be known that while she's bi, he's not.

 

It's just easier to state up front.

[socolais 696]

We had a fun time with a couple we met at a house party. The next day, we read their profile and discovered that he was bi - not a big deal. He and I didn't interact even though all four of us were busy on the same bed.

 

I don't understand the bi-male phobia - any one "no" is as good as any other and if it's not respected THEN it's time to stop the play.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- This is just my experience and is 'deep down' while I don't play knowingly with bisexual men. I've only known two men in the Lifestyle who were bisexual. I never had sex with them, just knew them as acquaintances. However, they both died of AIDS. Interestingly enough, their wives did not contract the disease. I have no idea what this means statistically for disease, etc. I just know that I'd just rather avoid a statistical reality.

 

Please don't send me all the stats on AIDs, transfer rates, group dynamics, etc. I know some of my concern is based on fear, but some times a bit of fear is a good thing.

 

As far as how we handle it, we just say,"Bi-guys are not part of our Play," but it's only been a subject with one couple. Again, it's never personal. The occasional rejection, for a variety of reasons, is expected in the Lifestyle and should never be a concern.

[GerdOEvert 51]

I found that bi intereaction was in closed rooms, and it was just something

that happened. It was enjoyable.

 

The only one interaction was a guy who called later and wanted to meet away from the club. We were not interested.

 

We partied at Jerry's and Terry's once, and he is bi, and we explored that.

I still wish I could have made him cum. I wanted to taste cum, and never have.

 

There does not seem to be discussion of bi sexuality for the males at clubs in my experience, but perhaps quiet signals. It seems that bi women are a much bigger group of the swing scene than bi men. I am glad, bi women are a lot more sensual and sexual.

[Menage_a_Trois 182]

I understand exactly how you feel. But again, how does it go when you find out this fact from a couple you are interested in. Do you just say "bi bi, we are not interested now"...and walk away ?

 

Does it make Bi males/ couples wish they hadn't said anything?

 

It just seems that if its becoming more popular. The conversation comes up more often, and should be handled/dealt with.

 

 

Well I would politely let the couple know our feelings on this and tell them it's nothing personal against them but we are out to meet other couples of "like" mind/desires... then we would excuse ourselves to continue to mix and mingle. We would make sure to always say hello etc if we run into them again but we wouldn't make it a priority to seek them out etc. We go to the club to meet couples and to play.

 

As for their wishing they had kept quiet...I can not answer that.

[Chicup 41]

Well if the guy mentions being bi Mrs. Chicups interest in him is now nil so its just not going to happen.

 

We haven't had it come up so I can't say how I would deal with it, but we would figure a way out of it.

[celtic239 297]

A polite "Not interested" comes to mind

[crazi429 16]

That is a hard one! I am not interested in a bi relationship with another male but I also am not totally repulsed by it. To receive I would not have a problem. It would have to be the right conditions. Red had a previous experience where her man sucked off another man though one of the hole in the wall things and she really liked it. So we will just have to say we will see what happens when and if it ever happens. But we are not currently looking for a Bi male occurrence.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We will play with bi guys, but only the MF part.

 

But how does this conversation usually get started?

 

Have you been approached by a bi male?

 

Do bi males just assume, and come on to you?

 

Have you approached a supposedly straight male, to find out?

[TNT 1,155]

I thought I would start this thread because of so much going on about the subject. Like, if you meet a couple from a different venue. Like a club or meet and greet. Some where, you didn't see on their profile the male is Bi.

 

Then you find out face to face the male half of a couple is bisexual.

 

What happens?

 

 

Same thing that happens when we meet any couple/single. We talk, if we feel we're compatible and that we would enjoy playing, we play.

[Mj7795 25]

We had a fun time with a couple we met at a house party. The next day, we read their profile and discovered that he was bi - not a big deal. He and I didn't interact even though all four of us were busy on the same bed.

 

I don't understand the bi-male phobia - any one "no" is as good as any other and if it's not respected THEN it's time to stop the play.

 

We are a bi couple who plays with other couples & single straight males. I present myself as Bi & when we discuss it with the other folks I state that it is not a necessity and we only do what everyone is comfortable with.

[JandKinBoise 858]

Bisexual guys are looked down upon by straights, gays, and swingers alike. It's a guarded secret and only comes out when discussing play with a potential partner. As a guy who loves sex with people, any people, I feel broken. We are greedy, our lives are ruled by sex, our decisions are based on sex and since there are plenty of closet bi guys, there is plenty to be had.

Besides being disease ridden cesspools of disgust, we also can play as fully straight guys without any m-m contact. Sex is the goal, who, why, and how is irrelevant.

Maybe I'm lucky but even though I've had a LOT of sex, I've never contracted an STD. You've probably played with bisexual guys if you have been at this awhile. It just isn't tattooed on our forehead. And if we know you are straight and you ask, so are we. If it helps, all of the bisexual guys I knew were overly safe and got tested constantly. It's a constant fear to not just have an STD, but to be the one spreading it.

I noticed that no one answered the question because no one ever had to face this situation. Imagine being a guy with a very non-social sexual issue. Is this something you drop on a partner at the last second? Who would do that? It's not 1970 but the attitude is nearly the same.

[ntex 64]

I will offer up some thoughts from this bi guys perspective...    First of all the term BI is a relatively broad and up for debate term.  I have never felt any romantic interest in a man.   I don't kiss men.  I don't date men.  I don't play with men alone.  But on most sites you are either BI, BI Curious or straight.  No middle ground and no wiggle room.  That being said...   I really like and enjoy the sexual aspects of the things that can go on between people even if they have the same equipment.  It's sex!  It's FUN!  My experience is 99% MMF\MMMF\MFMF etc...   Probably half are where the men proclaim to the world that they are straight.  Usually the women get a huge kick out of it and other wise they are typically curious as to what happens and how they will like it.  I never hide it and knowing how people can feel about it I rarely initiate contact with a couple of group of people unless I know that my type of kink is accepted.  But none of us are out to recruit or trap anyone.  It's just a type of kink for most of us.  If you passed me on the street or at a party you would never know. 

It's a fun kink and one that, if you stay away from drug users and people with highly unsafe habits, you can indulge in safely, and really enjoy.  I am picky and I get tested regularly, and so far, never had any instances of disease.  

The preconceived notions of bi guys is getting better.  We are the secret that everyone knows and some people indulge in without letting their friends know.  (oh yes...that happens a lot)

 

Now if I could just find a girlfriend that wasn't intimidated by it...

 

[enhancer 1,585]

We say no thanks not interested!  Neither one of us finds anything sexy about male on male play and see no need to play with bi men even if they are playing straight.  Higher risk factor and not are thing so not interested in the extra risk.

[ntex 64]

4 hours ago, enhancer said:

We say no thanks not interested!  Neither one of us finds anything sexy about male on male play and see no need to play with bi men even if they are playing straight.  Higher risk factor and not are thing so not interested in the extra risk.

You keep saying that so it must be true...    We get it!  You don't want to see, hear or be aware of any bi male activity.   Got it!  But yet you sure do read a lot of posts regarding bi male topics. 

[enhancer 1,585]

4 minutes ago, ntex said:

You keep saying that so it must be true...    We get it!  You don't want to see, hear or be aware of any bi male activity.   Got it!  But yet you sure do read a lot of posts regarding bi male topics. 

Yes it is true,  We like everyone on this forum are allowed to have our own opinion and voice them.  As a long time poster here I read all the current posts.  If I feel like posting I do.  If you don’t like that there is a way to block posters on here.  Not sure how, because I don’t block people on forums, but it sure does not bother me in the least if people block me.  If I don’t like what someone writes I move on to the next one and it works for me.  We are 100 percent okay with people that are bi ( like she is), gay ( like my daughter and our close friend are) or whatever other sexuality they might be.  That does not require us or anyone to want to share playtime with them if we are not on the same page.   There have been couples we talked to in the past that were not interested, because their lady was not bi and Missus E is or because she is also a squirted which is not cool with some. Didn’t offend us. Totally understood that they look for something else for their playtime.

[patsfan5864 43]

We only meet people we connect with online first, and make it beyond 100% clear right upfront that both of us are absolutely repulsed by the thought of male/male sex, so if that were to happen in our case, it would involve deceit on the part of the other couple/man.

 

That alone is enough for us to walk away, and probably be somewhat rude about it. Our time to play is seriously limited, and we’d both be beyond pissed off if we planned a night out, only to find out we were lied to.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,387]

No bi guy would push themselves on a husband who was not cool with that. The thing about being bi, of course, is that you can go both ways so it shouldn't be a deal breaker no matter what the other guy is or isn't into.

 

Having said that, single bi men tend to be more fun and open minded than single men who list themselves as Sr8. But that's just a personal opinion

[Fitlakecouple 451]

On 10/22/2022 at 9:41 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

No bi guy would push themselves on a husband who was not cool with that. The thing about being bi, of course, is that you can go both ways so it shouldn't be a deal breaker no matter what the other guy is or isn't into.

 

Exactly. Love the comments from folks who say 'we don't judge, but we would never play with a bi guy'...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Margaret Thatcher 1]

Oh dear.  I'm going to have to address the elephant in the room...

 

If your dick is hard (or is getting hard) while you're looking at another guy's dick that is hard (or is getting hard), - regardless if he's fucking a hot babe and high-fiving you or whatever, -you and your company are not quite as an arrow-straight as you say you are.  Now don't worry, no one is saying you're gay or bi.  Swinging is about openness an experimentation.  It's ok to get hard when you're looking at a cock!  How could you watch porn otherwise?  Female solo only?

 

Now, if you're full swap and you need separate rooms to pop a boner, guess what.  You're probably gay.  If you're that afraid to see a man naked and appreciate the sexuality of the situation, you have issues.

 

I've been around this lifestyle for a while.  Everyone is on a sliding scale.  You don't have to admit it, but always be kind.

[patsfan5864 43]

On 10/22/2022 at 9:59 AM, Fitlakecouple said:

 

Exactly. Love the comments from folks who say 'we don't judge, but we would never play with a bi guy'...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, no one but those with your viewpoints are allowed to have preferences? 
 

Who is the closed-minded one again?

[patsfan5864 43]

5 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Oh dear.  I'm going to have to address the elephant in the room...

 

If your dick is hard (or is getting hard) while you're looking at another guy's dick that is hard (or is getting hard), - regardless if he's fucking a hot babe and high-fiving you or whatever, -you and your company are not quite as an arrow-straight as you say you are.  Now don't worry, no one is saying you're gay or bi.  Swinging is about openness an experimentation.  It's ok to get hard when you're looking at a cock!  How could you watch porn otherwise?  Female solo only?

 

Now, if you're full swap and you need separate rooms to pop a boner, guess what.  You're probably gay.  If you're that afraid to see a man naked and appreciate the sexuality of the situation, you have issues.

 

I've been around this lifestyle for a while.  Everyone is on a sliding scale.  You don't have to admit it, but always be kind.

Hahaha, wow, where do we start with that one?

 

Justification? Rationalization? Denial? Take your pick.

 

Newsflash: Trying to insult people for their opinions/preferences, especially with some half-assed psychological analysis, doesn’t make your opinions/preferences any more valid.

[Margaret Thatcher 1]

58 minutes ago, patsfan5864 said:

Hahaha, wow, where do we start with that one?

 

Justification? Rationalization? Denial? Take your pick.

 

Newsflash: Trying to insult people for their opinions/preferences, especially with some half-assed psychological analysis, doesn’t make your opinions/preferences any more valid.

 

Thank you for your thoughts.  Sorry.  

Edited October 25, 2022 by Margaret Thatcher

[enhancer 1,585]

12 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Oh dear.  I'm going to have to address the elephant in the room...

 

If your dick is hard (or is getting hard) while you're looking at another guy's dick that is hard (or is getting hard), - regardless if he's fucking a hot babe and high-fiving you or whatever, -you and your company are not quite as an arrow-straight as you say you are.  Now don't worry, no one is saying you're gay or bi.  Swinging is about openness an experimentation.  It's ok to get hard when you're looking at a cock!  How could you watch porn otherwise?  Female solo only?

 

Now, if you're full swap and you need separate rooms to pop a boner, guess what.  You're probably gay.  If you're that afraid to see a man naked and appreciate the sexuality of the situation, you have issues.

 

I've been around this lifestyle for a while.  Everyone is on a sliding scale.  You don't have to admit it, but always be kind.

Wow I guess you can somehow read everyone’s mind simultaneously to make a statement that everyone is on a sliding scale!

I can and will admit that I am not on a sliding scale in any way.  I am 100 percent not interested in participating or watching any male on male sexual activity.  If I was I would do it, because I really don’t give a shit what other people think about what I do on my time.
 

It seems to me that just, because other people are bi or on a sliding scale they like to assume everyone else must be too.  Why can’t people just be satisfied with their own sexuality and let other people decide for themselves what their own is?  It is like people need some kind of justification for their own wants.  
 

In today’s world you are more persecuted for being straight then being queer. Like you are just not open minded as a male if you don’t suck a cock.  It is ridiculous.

[discreetplay 235]

15 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

If your dick is hard (or is getting hard) while you're looking at another guy's dick that is hard (or is getting hard), - regardless if he's fucking a hot babe and high-fiving you or whatever, -you and your company are not quite as an arrow-straight as you say you are. 

So watching and getting aroused by a scene in a porn movie with a male-female couple means you "are not quite as an arrow-straight as you say you are"?

 

 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

The reality is that men are naturally aroused by other aroused men. It is not sexual attraction but biological competition. Men are concerned with dick size, theirs and other's.

 

 

[couplers 4,636]

4 hours ago, NWAtlSwing said:

The reality is that men are naturally aroused by other aroused men. It is not sexual attraction but biological competition..

To me, it seems to depend on the guy.  In our poly family of three women and two men, when it's an MFM, Red prefers to have his pussy fresh, go first, and move on.  David likes to watch the show, build the anticipation, and love a "used" woman.  After orgasm he'll cuddle, or perform oral, or watch whatever she/I do next.  They're very different. 

[njbm 2,869]

We generally have a vanilla (no sex) meeting with another couple first. We ask them what they like. Bisexuality, restraints, condom usage are discussed. We try to discuss humorous past experiences so that we are not cross examining people. We find that 99% of swinging misunderstandings can be avoided if you are aware of other partners’ preferences before playing. And if you have vastly different desires, you may not be a good match. 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

What do you say to the Bi Guy?

 

We'd love to suck your cock...

[Seanandem 48]

On 10/22/2022 at 5:37 AM, patsfan5864 said:

make it beyond 100% clear right upfront that both of us are absolutely repulsed by the thought of male/male sex.  

 

Seems to be some bi hatred here.  Choose better words bro.  Seriously.

[patsfan5864 43]

21 hours ago, Seanandem said:

Seems to be some bi hatred here.  Choose better words bro.  Seriously.

Why, to make you feel better? Sorry, we’re not required to do that.

 

Some people like to get pissed on or play with feces, that also repulses us, that doesn’t mean we hate anyone. The problem with using strong words like hate as a punchline is that they lose meaning for when they are appropriate.
 

How about you choose better words? Seriously.

[Numex 2,413]

On 11/7/2008 at 6:39 PM, fun4Ds said:

What do you say to the Bi Guy?

bye

[herpob 563]

I thought I would start this thread because of so much going on about the subject. Like, if you meet a couple from a different venue. Like a club or meet and greet. Some where, you didn't see on their profile the male is Bi.

 

Then you find out face to face the male half of a couple is bisexual.

 

What happens? You know, the talking... or turning down...   If you enjoy their company, you enjoy their company.

 

Anyone have this happen? Yes.

 

I don't see allot of how people handle this situation. What they have done or not done. Would do, or should do...

 

I was all into it once I found out. I wanted the two of them to tell all. The wife was gauging my husband and knew to hold back. My husband was scared to death. 

 

What about the Bi men, do you keep it quiet?   No, you should be up front as the conversation progresses.

 

How or when, would you offer this fact?  As you get to know one another and the conversation turns sexual.

 

If so, how did things turn out?  Wonderful. They eventually became some of our best friends and are in our sex group.