Friend showing interest in hubby, should we initiate a threesome?

[ratimadan 75]

We are not sure how to handle this without hurting feelings or relationships. Here is the situation:

 

We have had a lady friend (Jenny) who has been divorced for quite a few years. Our friendship goes back to the days she was still married to her ex husband, who left her for a younger chick. We do socialize with Jenny and are often at same parties. It seems that Jenny never had a good sexual relationship with her ex. She now has a bf and the two have been dating for some time. But the relationship has been bumpy, and, on and off. From what Jenny tells us (the wife) in confidence, this guy has not been "nice" to her. They don't fuck very often, and, she is not eager to spread her thighs and open up her pussy for his dick. She often sends the guy home without asking him to go to bed with him and having sexual intercourse. To us the guy (her bf) comes across as a jerk who does not know how to pleasure a woman. No wonder Jenny does not want him to fuck her.

 

At one of the parties Jenny asked hubby if he was "safe"? Hubby answered that he was "not safe", but hoped she was, assuming she wanted to know if he could get her pregnant if he fucked her. Jenny is most likely at menopause, so she cannot get pregnant. She also told hubby that she was lots of fun (in bed we assume). Jenny is certainly a fine, cultivated and caring woman. Hubby would love to play with her, sink his dick in her pussy and fuck her to orgasm. No two questions about that. We are not sure Jenny would be OK with a threesome with us where hubby gets to fuck her. Jenny does have a crush on hubby and shows it whenever we meet.

 

The hooker is that Jenny is unaware of our swinging lifestyle and that we as a couple do thresomes and also full swap of mates with other couples for play and sexual intercourse. Jenny is single, has no desire to remarry, and probably at a stage in life where she will enjoy swinging and enjoy sexual intercourse with a variety of men. As a single female she should have no problem getting into clubs or private house sexparties.

 

If you as a swinger couple were in ths situation how would you handle Jenny and discreetly find out if she is OK with a threesum with us where hubby fucks her, or, would she like to learn about and experience the swinging lifestyle where she could play with and have sex with a variety of partners.

We could take Jenny to a couples' club, introduce her to our swinger group of couples, or, alternatively take her to a private house sex party where she will be most welcome. At a house party there is the possibility of Jenny meeeting a single guy she could play with, have intercourse (get fucked) with and perhaps develop a swinging relationshp with no strings attached.

 

Comments and suggestions? We would really love to see this fine lady enjoy life and particularly satisfy fully her sexual fantasies and desires without sense of guilt.

 

[BiloxiCouple 695]

First, do you want to screw up a friendship?

 

Second, do you want to get involved in her personal drama by way of having sex with her?

 

Third, how will her husband/boyfriend react when he finds out? Infidelity can bring out the worst in some. And he may not be "nice" to ya'll either.

 

Alot of people here are about to tell you, "don't make swingers out of friends, and to make friends out of swingers" or something similiar to this statement.

[arvcpl 16]

First, do you want to screw up a friendship?

 

Second, do you want to get involved in her personal drama by way of having sex with her?

 

Third, how will her husband/boyfriend react when he finds out? Infidelity can bring out the worst in some. And he may not be "nice" to ya'll either.

 

Alot of people here are about to tell you, "don't make swingers out of friends, and to make friends out of swingers" or something similiar to this statement.

 

I agree with the above completely.

 

And I will also add that if you are seriously thinking about bedding this chick, who gives a crap if she is ok with it being a threesome or not? If she won't do a threesome with you but will fuck your husband on the side and you are not ok with that, then send her packing. That's no different than a single guy wanting to fuck some dudes wife but doesn't want the husband around. Same answer, do it on our terms or find your own partner.

[Vjklander 138]

I have no problem playing with friends. We actually quite prefer friends. (see the other thread). One thing I always believe in is being honest with people. Just tell her you swing. Explain your rules to her. If she is willing to abide by the rules, then play away. If she doesn't then you are all at least on the same page and you can go about your business. And please don't assume because she is starting menopause she can't get pregnant. That is not an on/off switch, it is a process. She may well be able to get pregnant and chances of a disabled child are quite high.

[jdavisauto 73]

Vanilla friends are vanilla friends for a reason. Swinging friends are swinging friends for a reason. All of our vanilla friends knows that we are swingers just for a reason like this. Some wants to come to the swingers club with us but never had. I would tell her about your lifestyle and lets her make up her own mind on what she wants. As far as you wanting to "fuck her" when she she in this state, you need to asked your self this: What kind of friend am I? Be her friiend for now, that's what it sounds like she really needs.

[PB&J 1,086]

Sooo... without her being aware that you two are swingers, you think that she's trying to get something going with hubby? And that's cool with you? I mean, that you would feel comfortable getting into a swinging relationship with someone who would be just as happy to have a relationship where the partner is cheating on their SO?

 

If you are comfortable with that, that's your choice.

[slevin 1,374]

She also currently has a boyfriend. Whether he treats her well or fucks her enough is irrelevant really; she is in a relationship and if she either fucks your husband or has a threesome with you then she is cheating on her boyfriend. You may think she needs to find a better guy, but does she? She has chosen a number of 'bad' matches for her and I'll bet that she'll continue to do so. You getting involved in that is just going to bring drama into your life whether you guys have sex with her or not.

[Alura 2,778]

It's my guess, Ratamadan, that in writing, "... this guy has not been "nice" to her." you mean he does not eat her pussy. If that's the case, I'm reminded of a time when a lady friend of ours told us that her boyfriend refused to perform oral sex on her. Mrs. Alura remarked, "Then what is he good for?"

 

I think it's possible to talk to a person about swinging without ruining the friendship. It depends on how you do it. If you say, "Hey, Jenny, how about having a threesome with us?" you risk a lot. On the other hand, if you ask, "How do you feel about swinging?" you may learn a lot. Just be ready to keep the conversation non-threatening and change to the weather if need be.

 

Mr. Alura

[sahajacpl 95]

We appreciate all the thoughtful responses. As far as the guy "not being nice" may have multiple meanings as far as we can surmise. Socially, it seems Jenny thinks her bf is rude and crude depending upon his moods. Sexualy, he is definitely no romeo. Jenny certainly would love the guy to play with her, eat her pussy and fuck her in a variety of ways to bring her to orgasm. Again, some men are just clumsy when it comes to handling a female and are incapable of giving the female companion a mind-blowing orgasm with foreplay, and, particularly during and after sinking his rod in her cunt for the act of actual fucking.

 

Of course, Jenny is convinced that hubby is a great lover and fucker and that's why she propositioned him. She is unaware that our great marital relationship makes swinging possible, so much fun, and, allows both us to swap mates with another couple, and enjoy someone else's wife/hubby/mate sexually where both of us engage in play with another couple's hubby/wife followed by sexual intercourse with him/her without possesiveness or jealousy. If Jenny could only understand what all of us swingers know, and, enjoy she could be on to a new life where she will enjoy social and sexual intercourse with a variety of partners, get fucked as she has never been fucked before in her life, have mind-blowing orgsms, and, not be tied to one guy for social and sexual pleasures.

[TXColombia 15]

Normally, I would say have a one on one woman to woman talk with her and gently ask what she thinks about a trio, fantasies ect,...but from what you have written about the drama in her life, I would consider her radioactive as far as bringing her into you sexual life. Additionally, if she is hitting on your husband behind your back, that is TOXIC and will eventually cause problems.

 

Just a thought.

[crazi429 16]

Being new to this I may not really be qualified to say much. But to start just have a friendly Girl Girl talk that leads to the subject of swinging. If she seems cool about it and interested inform her of places to find more info about this. If she wants to get into the life style then let her get her own start. Then if thing work out go for it. Otherwise from what you have described and others have responded it sounds like a good start to some bad things. I would just give her enough info to start herself into the lifestyle.

[JustAskJulie 2,597]

Sooo... without her being aware that you two are swingers, you think that she's trying to get something going with hubby? And that's cool with you? I mean, that you would feel comfortable getting into a swinging relationship with someone who would be just as happy to have a relationship where the partner is cheating on their SO?

 

If you are comfortable with that, that's your choice.

 

My sentiments exactly.

[maniaco333 29]

Ask her jokingly if she would like to borrow your husband for some wild sex and after both of you get through laughing say ...No seriously

 

just a thought

[realcplub2 513]

Hello, Ok here is my take..

 

From reading the OP, it seems you are pretty much looking for a clear, go for it.. which you havent gotten..

 

Having not one talk but a series of talks with Jenny regarding where she sees the relationship with the BF going is the place to actually start, if this is a adventure you really want to do, as it seems in the postings.. From the info you are able to provide, it seems that there is a clear open line of communication between her and you..

 

But again there are key questions that are unanswered, Since she has made it clear she isnt happy with the guy she is with.. Why is she still dating him?

 

Given the way her husband left her, another thing that might lead to why she is with this guy is a lack of self estime.. settling for what she can get instead of what is good for her.. I am sure everyone here has seen this before.

 

If she is going to dump the guy, hang back and wait.. If she isnt prepared to do that until something better cums along.. slowly tell her she doesnt need all the drama, there are ways to enjoy sexual company without the emotional hassels..

 

And now to the other half of that, if she is considering dumping the guy, as before, hang back, but ask her why she hasnt done it sooner.. Once you have a clear idea of where her head/heart is at.. then you will know if having the lifestyle talk with her is a non starter or not..

 

As far as if she is or isnt, personally, We would suggest that if she is "into this" do not be her first expereince.. Let her have fun at a party or two, with the knowledge you are both right there as "back up".. Then after she has had a few great times, then if you want to bring her into a threesome.. go for it then

[ncmd_couple 597]

There is never a perfect answer to a situation like this. If you have good communications with her, then just continue that path and see what develops. I have been in similar situations and just steer the conversation in a direction that allows them to ask the questions. Subtly take it down the path of her relationship with the BF and her hopes and desires for the future. In the mean time, just let the thoughts of a FMF lay in the back of your minds, but don’t push it, let her find her own path but be prepared to be open and honest with her if the time comes. Or, you can just leave the Swinger’s Board up on your PC one day when she comes over!

 

S

[twohots4u2 188]

We absolutely agree with others that feel you should continue to be just vanilla friends with her. The fact that she is trying to approach your husband smells bad. Swinging with her would, we feel, open Pandora's box, and it would be difficult to close.

 

To us, swinging is about sexual play, not emotional ties with the people we swing with. We value our relationship too much to let others get, or try to get, in between us.

 

So, we swing with swingers, and keep our vanilla friends absolutely in the dark about our swinging activities.

[willyoats 325]

If Jenny is a good enough friend to socialize with you without the boyfriend, then I suggest this:

 

Sometime hubby and Jenny will be probably have a chance to be alone for a face-to-face conversation. Hubby will guide the conversaiton to something provacative or sexy. That will lead to an opportunity to broach the subject of getting toegther with her. If she is shocked and backs off, that's your answer. Hubby can patch it up and I bet there will be no damage to the friendship.

 

If she bites, then you have to lay the whole picture on the table. Maybe she will want to go through with the whole thing, including wife. But there has to be a clear understanding that this is just sex; no drama and no complications!

 

Maybe she really only wants hubby. Then you have to decide whether that's OK or not.

 

My wife and I have always opted for complete honesty with no beating around the bush when we get vibes that someone might want to connect. It has always worked. Nobody ever shunned us for being honest about our intentions.

 

In the case where something similar to the "Jenny" incident happened to us, my wife said to go for it. She didn't mind being left out then because the woman was a very good firend and her husband was a philanderer. My wife still doesn't mind under the right circumstances, which usually means that I don't press for this very often.