Were you ever hit on by swingers when you were vanilla?

[iapr 24]

A recent thread about TV shows portraying swingers as predatorial on vanillas got me wondering how much swinger couples do hit on vanilla couples in the real world.

 

Back when we were vanilla we were VERY vanilla and never had anyone make any moves on us although the female half had an old bisexual friend that I could tell had the hots for mrs Iapr but she never made any actual offers or advances.

 

And since we have become swingers we have never made any moves on any vanillas although Mrs Iapr's old bi friend has since married and she and her husband have made some comments that have made us highly suspect that they may be in the LS or at least very LS friendly. We've talked about asking them out and putting out some "feelers" but we haven't actually done it.

 

My questions are when you were a vanilla did any swingers ever make any moves on you or offers to you?

 

And, since you have been in the LS have you ever hit on or made any moves on any vanillas?

 

If the answer is yes to either of those questions what were the outcomes? I am interested in hearing how much swingers hitting vanillas actually happens in the real world and how is just urban legend and misplaced anxiety on the part of vanillas.

[TheDeal 117]

Good question! As a guy, I tend to be a bit oblivious to subtle hints or innuendos as "moves". I really need a girl to be obvious, like maybe a couple of them Airplane flashlights directing me to the obvious. Now, if you take a MF couple and they are hitting on us (my wife and I) and using the same subtle innuendos and such... I just don't know if we would have recognised what they are try to convey.

 

Now as for hitting on vanillas. If we were to befriend a couple and then felt close enough to them to expose our lifestyle, I think that's about as far as we would take it regarding "making moves". If we told the said couple and they all of a sudden seemed interested...

 

G

[dodgechevy 149]

Closest thing ever was T getting hit on by a lesbian couple at a gas station. She says looking back on it now she wishes she had taken them up on it!

[Tia Vampire 167]

You know iapr,

 

Now that I think about it, I was at the P Loung video taping one of their halloween parties when this lady came up to me and rested her hand on my ass. I didn't think nothing of it because I thought it was my fiance. After a while I heard a voice say, "I can't help myself, I just can't keep my hands off of your ass". To my surprise I did not react with a punch. I guess my bark was worst than my bite because I told her, "I am not bi, but there are enugh bi girls here for you to pick from". She walked away angry, but her SO quickly came in telling me about different parties they attend and going down to Key West. He was very flirtatious and ask me do I take my camera where ever I went because him and his girl liked being filmed.

 

At the time I did not know anything about the LS. So thinking about it now, I could have been being picked up by a swinger couple.

[WildMiCouple 325]

A couple times come to mind. The first was on our honeymoon in Tahiti. It was at a Club Med with a topless beach. This very good looking mid 40's couple from California(we were in our 20's) were hanging with us and flirting heavily. We had our suspicions they were swingers. And later confirmed it when we saw them hanging with another couple with a lot of fondling going on

Another time we were hanging at a restuarant bar waiting for a table. This was maybe a couple years before we ventured to the naughty side. Tam's quite the flirty one herself and struck up a conversation with another woman. Her and her husband had just been to a Rod Stewart concert with the other couple with them. They got their table first and she invited us to eat with them. We said "cool, we'll join you, but Tam smokes, and are you OK with that?" "No problem", they all said. So as we're heading to the table, the other woman says to Tam "You do know that they're swingers". Didn't matter to us Tam told her. We had dinner with them and could tell the swinger's couple friends were very jealous. It would soon come to a head

 

After we all finished eating Tam lit up a smoke. The non swinging husband(or so we thought) then starts to get in Tam's face about smoking. Tam replied "Well, I asked you guys before we sat down if it was OK. If you had had a problem with it, we wouldn't have joined you." He then glares at her and sneers "Maybe I just need to stuff a big cock in your mouth instead." It was all I could do to not jump over the table and pound his ass. Not wanting to get thrown in jail, I just stood up and threw some money on the table and loked at the swinging couple and said "And you call this asshole your friend?" We walked out shaking our heads.

I assumed after thinking about it later that they were either on a swinging date or had been swinging friends and the asshole guy got jealous that we were invited in and got more of their friends attention then they did.

 

Brett

[lustylearning 705]

Once (smiling as I look back), I'm pretty sure we were. We were in line for an amusement park attraction, and the couple ahead of us were a little toasted, very comfortable, and very happy, but they were tuned into us... almost as if they were trying to draw us into their private little world of the moment. When we left the park that day, hubby and I agreed they probably would have taken us back to their hotel room if we'd responded with more than playful smiles::P:

[Guest screaminggood]

About 20 years ago we were on a deserted Mexican beach. There was a couple we'd see every day there. They kept inviting us to come to their rented hacienda every night....we weren't emotionally ready to swing back then, but it makes me wonder how different our life would have been if we had started out that young.

[TravlParty 87]

Yes, that's how we got started.

[Mr.Essex 264]

Constantly. If I were more of a sexhound, I'd weep myself to sleep with thoughts of all of the sex that I avoided by being a goody two-shoes.

[Kristy34 16]

Funny question. I think most have. Husband and I went on a cruise and joked around about swingers but I have to tell you it was true with many folks there. We didn't start then but did on the next cruise.

[Trace Ekies 186]

Pre-lifestyle we were not hit on by anyone that I can recall.

 

As lifestylers, we have not hit on any from the vanilla side.

 

Trace

[NCfuncouple98 367]

My husband and I went to an NFL game just this weekend with 2 male friends. One we have played with, one we have not. And I KNOW the other one does not know we swing.

 

There was no doubt in either of our minds that the flirting was beyond normal joking around. Too bad his wife is so uptight, they're both very attractive people and could be a lot of fun! But alas, we'll go actual swinging couples...

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

Both of us were already swingers when we got together, so we don't have any vanilla frame of reference as a couple. However, back in high cshool and college, Greg used to get hit on quite often by gay men!

[LFM2 1,482]

Not that we recall. Women have flirted with Dave and men have flirted with me, but they were singles and I don't think any of them were swingers. I can't say that for sure, but I don't think so.

[VANudistcpl 109]

I want to say that we may have. Before we entered the lifestyle a couple of friends on our bowling team had made comments about the number of swingers in the area. I (male half) blew it off to them having too much beer. It wasn't until after the toy party they threw that I made the connection.

 

AS for hitting on vanilla couples, we haven't yet.

[interested-05 135]

Back when I was very vanilla, and going thru the early stages pf a divorce, I stopped at a bar in the Holiday inn. Two couples came in, sat at one of the booths and were enjoying themselves as friends. I had been shooting pool for a while just practicing as the bar was pretty empty. One of the guys came over and challenged me to a game. We played a rpound, he one and I figured that was the end of it. I went bact to the bar had a beer, and was looking thru the karaoke book, no I dont sing, but was curious about the selection. One of the ladies, a very nie looking redhead, came over and started flirting. We talked a bit, she asked where my wife was, and I explained I was going thru a divorce. It didn't faze her and we continued talking as I began to realize this groupof four were swingers of some sort. I began thinking to myself, this might be fun, butr also thought about the odds, 4 of them and one of me. having never been exposed to swinging, and not knowing any of them or the orientation of either of the guys, I figured safety was more important than having a little fun.

SO I passed on it, but it got me thinking that people really do swap partners and became curious enough to check it out. spent a lot of time on line and checking out the various swinger sites. Knowing what I do now, wish I hadn't been so ignorant about the possibilities. Missed out on a lot of fun, but have also found a great wife who I can share the sexual playtimes with.

SO if those two couples are out there, i'd like to try getting together with them.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Yes and that is how we started down the road to thinking seriously about swinging. We were hit on 3 separate times durring our first month at the local nudist resort.

[Cpl2share 147]

Yes, we were hit on by several couples. The funny part is that we were friends with a couple for several years and both of us figured the other couple was "into that" but until we both showed up at a party never made a move. The party went pretty good BTW. We never hit on vanilla couples though. Just not our style, well kind of, I always flirt with any woman that I like, but that is just my nature.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have but only on single males. I can't recall ever hitting on a vanilla couple. And even the single males were many many years ago.

[qreskupl7476 137]

We're still quite new and inexperienced at all of this, but this is a subject where we at least have a small amount of input.

 

As far as being hit on by swingers, it's possible that we were at one time or another but previous to our getting involved in the lifestyle ourselves we would've been totally oblivious to it. Mrs. Q has been hit on in bars numerous times over the years by both men and women, but we always just assumed that they were singles looking for a piece of ass which in most cases was probably a safe assumption. Most of the males gave up straight away when she politely pointed out that she was married. A few more persistent ones had to have things explained to them by Mr. Q in a language they could more easily understand.

 

Mrs. Q has only recently admitted to herself and to me that she is somewhat bi-curious, so prior to our involvement in the lifestyle, girls that hit on her were simply met with a "you have GOT to be kidding right?" sort of look. She's a bit friendlier now.

 

When it comes to hitting on vanillas, far be it from us to do such a thing, however we have had a vanilla couple hit on us, does that count as strange and unusual?

 

We had a party at our house awhile back, supposed to be a vanilla party, however let's just say that some things happened at said party that blurred the lines of vanilla. Yeah, it was a pretty good party. Anyway, a couple was there that were long time friends of ours, and probably the most sexually open couple we know outside of the lifestyle. Although we didn't tell them that we were interested in swinging at all, there were some friends of ours there that we'd met through our lifestyle involvement, and there was a little bit of "interrelationship" kissing and petting going on in various different combinations between them and us. Pretty innocent stuff, but our vanilla friends were all too happy to join in when they realized what was going on. It was immediately afterwards that the female half of the vanilla couple began confessing to Mrs. Q that she was EXTREMELY interested in swinging, and not only that, was EXTREMELY interested in both of us. Mrs. Q and the male half of said vanilla couple have been friends for years, and there has always been an innocent attraction there, although neither has ever acted on it.

 

To keep this long story from getting any longer than it already is, let's just say they couldn't wait to invite us over to their house for a little playtime. Being our first actual swinging experience, as well as theirs, we did a lot of things wrong, but basically it was still a good time. Mrs. Q and I however, have had the advantage of being interested in the lifestyle for over a year now, and even though we haven't played with anyone yet we had at least played out numerous scenarios in our heads and know our own and each others' limits. This couple had obviously not thought things through quite so thoroughly, and that made for things getting a little pear shaped at the end. Turns out that the male half was totally OK with the girls playing together, which they did and it was great. He was also totally OK with having all sorts of fun with Mrs. Q, which was also great. However, when he took a break from being all over my wife long enough to catch a glimpse of what his girl and I were doing, the fun ended rather abruptly.

 

To his credit, he didn't make a big scene or anything, he was level headed and mature about it except for not thinking things out ahead of time, he simply stated that he was no longer comfortable, we all sat and talked and giggled about the gravity of what had just happened, and we're all still friends although 3 of us are a bit disappointed that we don't have a regular 4some. We are all in agreement however that his wishes are to be respected, and there have been no issues of jealousy or anyone fooling around behind anyone's back.

 

The point of all of this rambling? Hitting on vanillas is probably not a good idea, even if they appear to be quite lifestyle friendly. These people approached US, and still had issues later. At the very least have a good heart to heart talk with them first to make sure that EVERYONE is on the same page, and assume nothing. It's a stupid newbie mistake that we made, and will not make again, to just assume that everyone is cool with all possible scenarios, especially when talking about a couple that obviously hasn't the open and honest communication between each other that we have.

[wlhotwife 63]

Pre-lifestyle, we were in Las Vegas with two other couples. After several drinks, the other 2 ladies and I got up to dance, and I got a little dirty with a beautiful African American man who was dancing by himself near the front of the dance floor. Another woman asked my friend if we were swingers. When she said, "no" the other lady asked if we were interested. We laughed about it the rest of the trip.

Now I realize there was probably a LS convention in town at the time!

Sigh, had we only known what fun we could have had.

We've never approached another vanilla couple since we've been involved in the LS, but I do have a male friend that I flirt with and would totally love it if he ever took me up on any of my naughty propositions. Unfortunately, he knows my hubby and sees me as someone "safe" to flirt with, because I'm so happily married!

[athenagirl 36]

In my 20s, I was hit on by swingers several times, and being the little sexpot that I was (and still am -- all these years later) I happily joined in as the second woman. Of course, I'm still waiting for my favorite fantasy to be fulfilled: two men and me!

[ratimadan 75]

Please forgive our naivete', but what is being "hit upon" exactly mean? Does it also include a couple (presumably a swinger) approaching you and discretely having a conversation and indicating their desire to play with you as a couple, with indication that that they would like to swap mates for play and sexual intercourse with each other's spouse or mate.

 

If so, yes, we have been approached by other couples at swinger or swinger friendly resorts, while we were in the nude pool. You could say we were "vanillas" then, interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle,or, playing and swapping partners with another couple for experiencing sexual intercourse with the other couple's spouse or mate. We say we were vanillas because we had yet to exchange partners with another couple for play, much less, penile-vaginal sexual intercourse.

 

Now, if we meet a couple we both particularly like, and, we are both OK to think playing with, swapping mates and it seems we would enjoy having sexual intercourse with the couple's hubby/wife, we try to find out discreetly their take on responsible non-monogamy, or, exchanging partners for sexual play, including intercourse with another couple. We trust this does not mean "hitting upon" the couple.

 

Our own experience is that such discreet inquiry from other couples happens all the time, particularly at couples only, nude and/or swinger friendly resorts.