Drinking and Swinging?

[PB&J 1,086]

I thought that this topic deserved a thread of its own.

 

I had this conversation with my beloved on our way to the club last night, funnily enough. We went to a smokin' house party for New Year's, had a blast, but the couple we went with brought a bottle of scotch for the mr, and he managed to put away half of it in the course of the evening. I have asked him JUST ONCE to try playing without the benefit of alcohol, just to find out what it's like. Many of our male friends drink nothing before and during a house party, the better to enjoy themselves.

 

I, personally, drank too much red wine at a playdate early in our adventures, and while it did not lead me to do anything that I wouldn't have otherwise, it does not rate as one of my proudest memories. I drink hardly anything now (that same NYE party I had a smidgen of gin, but mostly tonic all night), and I find that I have much more fun being in control of myself. I do not need alcohol to improve my mood: I like the experience too much to want my sensations dulled or my memories dulled by alcohol.

 

ps I should clarify that the Mr was not falling-down drunk or anything... he just got very very relaxed, and went around with a big grin on his face, played like crazy, oh and did fall down on the icy street when we left. (could happen to anyone) I just want him to try swinging without drinking, is all, to see what it's like.

[lustylearning 705]

I think alcohol can serve an important function - that of enhancing relaxation. But as with anything it can be overused and have negative consequences. I've seen in myself both the positive of some alcohol and the negative of too much. I doubt I'll stop drinking alcohol altogether because I am one who definitely benefits from the quick unwind - the release of the stress of the day or the week. But I've learned I have limits. Too much and it will actually impact my sexual pleasure - literally desensitize me. And I had previously thought that that sort of problem was reserved for men!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We both drink moderately when we go to socials/clubs. We haven't been to a house party together, so I don't know if the environment would be different enough to make it more comfortable. For us, we both like to dance but we also both have just enough inhibitions (most of the time) to worry what others think. A couple of drinks is enough to take care of that. For us, alchohol enhances whatever mood we are already in. If things are dull and boring, alchohol will put us to sleep. If the mood is lively and we are happy it makes us a little happier.

 

I won't say we haven't both had our moments where we've drank too much, and have both made major efforts to keep the from re-occuring. Anymore if it happens it's usually because we are bored, the longer it takes for the action to get going the more time we have to sit and drink

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Too much and it will actually impact my sexual pleasure - literally desensitize me. And I had previously thought that that sort of problem was reserved for men!

 

I'll ditto that as well. But, on the other hand, just the right amount and I can go all night (over and over again) and want it more the next morning when I wake up.

[iapr 24]

Hmmm, maybe Shakespeare was a swinger for he once said of alcohol, "..it enhances the desire, but lessens the ability.":lol:

 

 

 

Alcohol isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, but sobriety is a very good thing and sobriety doesnt' cost anything and never causes any problems. Never once has anyone ever looked back on a tragedy and said, "it's just too bad he/she was sober."

 

Sobriety has never caused any pain, suffering, drama, hurt feelings, embarrassment, shame or regret. Sobriety has never made someone do something they would not have normally done. sobriety has never been the cause of someone saying hurtfull things or picking a fight for no reason. Noone has ever been singled out by a predator for date rape because of their sobriety. Noone has ever had to take their spouse home or make appologies for their partner because their partner was too sober. Noone has ever gotten sick and puked or passed out at party because they were sober.

Noone has ever left the party and then crashed the car and killed innocent victims because they were sober.

 

I could go on and on but you get the point.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Some alcohol can relax people and is an expected part of almost any social scene (going out to dinner? Have a drink with your main course. Going to someone's house? Bring a bottle of wine. And so on).

 

But we've both commented that a small but noticeable segment of the swinging population seems to need to get very drunk to swing. We first noticed this with a couple we met who put away a huge amount of beer and mixed drinks before getting down to business (and they kept trying to get us to drink, telling us we could sleep at their place if we got to drunk to drive). And at a recent club event, some of the women were almost falling off their platform shoes they were so drunk.

 

I tend to get amorous when I have a drink or two, so that's certainly a good thing, but I would never go past 2 and most times I prefer not to drink at all so that I can make clear decisions and enjoy the results of those decisions. And Mr. Ivory is very aware that he's probably going to be driving, so he rarely drinks at all.

 

So yeah, we agree with the other posts--don't get why some swingers feel the need to get trashed and don't really think it's a good idea. Tipsy is fun and sexy; blotto is neither.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

We both drink moderately when we go to socials/clubs. For us, we both like to dance but we also both have just enough inhibitions (most of the time) to worry what others think. A couple of drinks is enough to take care of that. For us, alchohol enhances whatever mood we are already in. If things are dull and boring, alchohol will put us to sleep. If the mood is lively and we are happy it makes us a little happier.

 

I won't say we haven't both had our moments where we've drank too much, and have both made major efforts to keep the from re-occuring. Anymore if it happens it's usually because we are bored, the longer it takes for the action to get going the more time we have to sit and drink

 

We are the same way - we both drink moderately when we go to the club. Our first experience did involve our wedding anniversary and many shots that someone kept buying - and I do regret that, because the whole night was just way too fuzzy - I knew we had fun, but wanted more of the memories!

 

And yes, the longer we sit on a dull night, the more we drink, but we try to get up and dance and add some water into the mix so that we don't end up completely drunk!

 

Alcohol does help us loosen up a bit and relax, but too much would make the evening too un-memorable.

[sweet_tna 680]

We're social drinkers, so it's the norm for us to have a few drinks at a party or meet & greet. But only once had I ever played while plastered. Mr. Sweet and I inadvertently made the jello shots for our party unusually strong, and a lot of us had too much.

 

Luckily, I didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done sober, but I was still mortified that I lost control that way. Since then, I limit my alcohol intake more carefully (often not drinking at all) if there's any chance of playtime.

 

=)

[dnmnms 55]

I rarely ever drink (hubby doesnt either) but when we go out clubbing generally I will initially get one down to loosen up. Not because of nerves of swinging just to relax/dance. Then after the 1st one, I will usually sip 1 maybe 2 the rest of the night. So usually its 2 to 3 coronas in about 6 hour time span.

 

Melody

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . Many of our male friends drink nothing before and during a house party, the better to enjoy themselves. . .

I am one of those who consumes no alcohol before or during a house party, club visit or play date. The chance of "failure to rise to the occasion" is significantly reduced. The chance of contracting hoof-in-mouth disease is significantly reduced. The social experience as a whole is much enhanced. I am ready to recommend to your friend to give a no-alcohol-evening a try.

 

The timing of your thread is coincidental to a recent disappointment. A couple recently stood us up for a play date. We subsequently learned that the man has a tendency to "stop off for a brew or two" on his way home and, on some nights, never makes it home. Can't help but suspect. Good for us, actually, that he did not make it here. He would probably have been no condition for lovemaking.

 

~Michael

[MrkLin 393]

Lin doesn't drink at all, and can't stand 'beer breath' in her face when she plays. Now if a guy has a beer before playing, that's fine - the kind of beer breath she means is the kind a guy gets after his third of fourth. You know - dragon breath.

 

I don't drink on play dates, during parties, or at the club. I too want to be in complete control of my abilities - both physical and mental. I don't want to have to rely on Lin or my friends to tell me I had a good time, or a bad time.

 

As Robin Williams said about not drinking; "I'm the same asshole I always was, I just have fewer dents in my car..."

[theboy 175]

I often need a beer or two to start being more social when we go to dances and the like, because I'm by nature a shy person. A beer or two just lubes me up and takes away some of the edge to the shyness.

 

I tell a lot of people that I'm shy afterwards and they're like 'oh, no, you're not shy!' - but I truly am! This new years eve we went to a bar meet-n-greet thing after midnight, and I had not drank anything - I was rather quiet.

 

Now, meetings with a couple that I'm already comfortable with? No booze needed, though sometimes it is fun to have a drink beforehand.

[riprat 36]

We neither one drink anymore, and have never minded anybody else doing it in Moderation. Our first good experience was with a couple who drank a little bit of wine between playtimes. No problem, no "dragon breath". We went to another couples house one time, and it was totally different. The man sipped whiskey and chasers all night, and the woman drank one beer right after another. We stayed at their house only about three hours talking, and needless to say, both were well lit before we left. We didn't play at all, and when we decided to give them a second chance the next weekend, they acted like they didn't know who we were.....they probably didn't even remember us coming to their house! Needless to say, we never contacted them again, and ignored them the one time later when they contacted us.

[Pensacolapair 394]

We both drink socially..but because of our strict refusal to drink and drive, when we go out only one of us will drink and it's normally not me (M). Like others here, we have on occasion met others who have over-endulged - and have declined playtime with them as a result.

 

When we host for playtime at home, I don't usually drink..at least not until after Round 1...

[CuriousLeo's 19]

We both drink socially, and we both enjoy a drink or two at home after a long day as well. We feel that a drink or two to loosen up is fine, almost necessary in some cases. A drink or two can take the edge off, but more than that is probably not usually a great idea for us. We may have only played twice, but we know neither of us are looking to get all banged up before we get, well, banged up.

[bbarnsworth 2,653]

My wife's and my views are that if you have to get drunk to swing, you shouldn't be swinging. Even if you don't have to, being drunk isn't something that appeals to us in the bedroom.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

My wife's and my views are that if you have to get drunk to swing, you shouldn't be swinging. Even if you don't have to, being drunk isn't something that appeals to us in the bedroom.

 

We second that point. With neither of us being big drinkers, we dont mind if the other couple has a few drinks, but when people get word slurring drunk, they lose any attraction we might have had for them. Plus if we have a great night we want it to be remembered well by all.

[The Fuse 1,012]

My wife's and my views are that if you have to get drunk to swing, you shouldn't be swinging. Even if you don't have to, being drunk isn't something that appeals to us in the bedroom.

 

Yep.

 

We want our partners to want us, not to want us when drunk.

 

I have seen firsthand a couple who only seem to swing when the female half is drunk enough to attack someone (not me or my husband). Then she gets guilty and tells her other half to do whatever he wants to do. I confess I was shocked, Especially because she vaulted over me to attack the guy I was kissing. Really, they should not be swinging at all.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

It is very rare that we drink at home. Most of our drinking occurs when we go to the club, and it's not a lot even then. I usually have about 3 mixed drinks over the course of the evening, interspersed with diet sodas. It's just enough to relax. Usually a bottle of Bacardi will easily last us two club nights.

 

There are some club members we've never, ever seen sober. Can't imagine doing that every single time.

 

Mrs two4you did have one bad experience though. We took a bottle of Bacardi 151 instead of the regular stuff one night, and she did not anticipate the additional potency. She was fine, until we got ready to leave, and it hit her like an uppercut to the chin. This was a mistake she has vowed not to repeat.

[bbarnsworth 2,653]

Mrs two4you did have one bad experience though. We took a bottle of Bacardi 151 instead of the regular stuff one night, and she did not anticipate the additional potency. She was fine, until we got ready to leave, and it it her like an uppercut to the chin. This was a mistake she has vowed not to repeat.

 

I can certainly understand that, having had a similar situation happen in Canada with some unexpectedly stiff beer. Worst drunk episode of my life. I wouldn't hold it against someone, unless I routinely saw them drunk while swinging. Different episodes happen to most of us at some point.

 

If I saw a beautiful woman at a swing club and desperately wanted to have sex with her, but then found her drunk a while later, I'd be turned off for that evening. But, if I saw her another evening, not drunk, I'd still be game.

 

But repeated drunkenness to swing? No way. Red flag on the play. 15 drink penalty from the point of coitus, no repeating the last down.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Just because I am at a swinger party doesn't always mean I have to swing and the same goes for drinking wherever.

 

I may not drink at all which is the norm now or I may have a couple depending on the driving situation and once in a great while it is time to tie one one. Most of my drinking is now in the past due to health reasons.

 

The same goes for swinging. I may or may not and may tie into a really good swingers knot.

[willyoats 324]

My wife would NEVER go with a guy who showed even a little sign of being under the influence. A couple of guys that she would otherwise have been delighted to party with missed a great lay because they were too stupid to lay off of the sauce.

 

I am sure my wife is not unique in that respect. Be forewarned, guys!

[sexylady1970 69]

Drinking and swinging is like drinking and driving. Both can lead to disaster! A couple of drinks to loosen up is okay, but getting drunk and swinging is a recipe for disaster on many levels.

[shy_couple 460]

I think we are in the same boat with everyone else. Our first date we bothe drank a little too much. Things are a little fuzzy and wish the memories were a little more clear for her. But we did nothing we wouldnt have if we had less to drink. She rarely drinks and I partake more regularly but not too often. When we meet or go out it is a different story. We both have a couple of strong drinks. First one quick and the second is for sipping and usually a bottle of chanpagen or white wine as part of foreplay.

 

We are both a bit shy so the"social lubricant" helps. I know that alcohol can inhibit my performance but finding the balance between maintaining verility and not finishing too soon is a tricky place to find and sustain. Its all a journey.

[KinkyNeighbors 15]

The few times we have had communication/jealously problems during play were directly due to alcohol. We have since limited our drinking to a few glasses of wine. If we are out at an event I usually go with a mocktail (tonic with a lime).

[Hotwallabies 90]

We drink very little. More than two or three and we get stupid and the people around us seem to get stupid and that's not all that fun. We got into swinging to have fun. If someone is drunk at all we wouldn't play with them. It just seems too much like using someone.