Age and its effect on erections

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'll have to admit that once I passed about the age of 40 or so, if a woman requires me to use a condom she had better be, talented, enthusiastic, take direction well, and be patient if she expects me to get it up. This is especially true amongst experienced swingers. The fact is, one of the down sides to being an active swinger is that you actually get used to seeing naked women regularly. The result of which is that a lot of times just seeing a woman naked isn't enough to result in an erection.

 

Ok, I just read the above in another thread and it got me thinking, so I'll ask you guys. Looking back do you see this trend? As a woman, I have seen this trend. Pet and I were originally together when we were 19/20 and back then I could litterally walk in the room and he'd get hard. It doesn't happen anymore... ok well not very often.

 

Do guys as they get older become more like us women and actually require a little more effort? Why do we as women look at men and expect that they should just get hard at the sight of us? I've seen this attitude of women mentioned many times in other threads - the women who think that the guy should be hard just because she's there. Why do we expect more effort out of them than we are willing to give ?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Yep. You know it. Our bodies change, just have to know how to change with it and work with it when it let's us.

 

Nature tends that men are more easily aroused at a younger age (teens/20's) than at more advanced ages.

 

I think women want to see a hardon as an acceptance/approval of them. So if I can't immediately get it hard in their presence then I don't want them or approve or whatever reason you want to give. And at times that may be true.

[Day&Night 15]

Ok, I just read the above in another thread and it got me thinking, so I'll ask you guys. Looking back do you see this trend? As a woman, I have seen this trend. Pet and I were originally together when we were 19/20 and back then I could litterally walk in the room and he'd get hard. It doesn't happen anymore... ok well not very often.

 

Do guys as they get older become more like us women and actually require a little more effort? Why do we as women look at men and expect that they should just get hard at the sight of us? I've seen this attitude of women mentioned many times in other threads - the women who think that the guy should be hard just because she's there. Why do we expect more effort out of them than we are willing to give ?

 

I think this is mostly true that as guys get older it does take a little more effort. I also think that as a swinger you do get used to seeing naked bodies and it takes a little more than that to get you going. BUt a naked couple engaged in sex does it every time, more so than just seeing nudity.

 

BUT, I also notice that as a swinger its actually easier, for me anyway to get hard and stay that way when there are multiple women present or actually seeing others engaged in sex tends to get me hard and stay that way for a longer period of time.

 

In a swinging / playing situation the excitement and eroticism present actually makes me feel like I did when in my twenties ! The sites and sounds of sex going on right next to me keeps me excited and ready for more action.

 

I think what hurts or hinders a lot of guys is worry about whether they will perform satisfactorily. If you don't worry about it and just go with the flow I think nature takes over and most guys will be fine as long as there is not so under lying medical condition.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Mr. Fuse is now 41, and so far his erections are as reliable as ever, with me and with his playmates. He gets hard easily and stays that way. There have been only maybe two times in a play situation (at least, when I was there) when he's had any unwanted softening. A little oral fixed him right up. We'll see what happens as we get older. He is also generally healthy and fit, so that helps, but I'm sure at some point we will see a difference. C'est la vie. I am appreciating it for as long as it lasts (pun intended).

 

If I like a guy, and I think he likes me but he has nerves, I'll enjoy play plenty without an erection. I've had good results on a second, or even third play session. As far as I know, those playmates weren't put off, or at least not too much, because we were with them again. I hope part of why they weren't put off was because I was obviously enjoying myself regardless. Certainly if I were to have gotten frustrated or aggravated, that would not have helped.

 

The ones it's happened with have all been over 40, sometimes over 50, except for one younger guy at a party in a room full of naked squirming bodies. He just seemed a little uncomfortable with the situation.

 

A little rambling reflection here... In my opinion, a lot of us women expect instant wood from the guys, and it's a bit unfair. I think part of it is because popular culture tells us that men are always horny, always ready, and wanting more sex than they are getting. We think men are simple, and they simply want pussy and respond like teenage boys. But the reality is often more complex, especially as we get older, and those guys who don't walk around like divining rods are sometimes made to feel badly about it. Men have their own pressures to deal with, like to act or be a certain way.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Why do we as women look at men and expect that they should just get hard at the sight of us? I've seen this attitude of women mentioned many times in other threads - the women who think that the guy should be hard just because she's there. Why do we expect more effort out of them than we are willing to give ?

 

While I don't really expect a guy to get hard just because I'm in the room (and I'm not only happy but eager to help in the getting ready department), I will say that I was surprised when we started swinging and every single man we encountered had at least a little bit of a problem getting or staying hard.

 

My surprise was partly because Mr. Ivory is blessed with a very quick erection and partly because I assumed that the erotic nature of sex with new people would make men more aroused and therefore more likely to be hard as soon as things started.

 

What we both realized is that balancing the eroticism is nerves, distractions, condoms and maybe even emotions like jealousy. I've come to expect that there will be some *ahem* rising and falling action, and to see that as part of the fun (as I get to show off my oral skills in a way Mr. Ivory appreciates but does not usually need). As long as the guy is comfortable and having fun, I don't care if he never gets an erection.

[TNT 1,155]

JustAskJulie said:

Why do we as women look at men and expect that they should just get hard at the sight of us?

 

Over the years I've noticed that Ted definitely doesn't get hard as quickly as he used to....there was a time, like you when just walking into a room he'd get hard...of course he was a teenager back then. Now, I can actually get a hug without being poked in the stomach with a hard-on....not for long mind you, but a two minute hug is definitely longer than the two second hugs it use to take.

 

To answer your question...I really don't know. I've never expected a man to get hard by just looking at me and to this day, I'm still surprised when it happens. In fact, there are times I wish they wouldn't get hard so quick...I do so enjoy sucking on a soft dick. It's something I rarely get to do or for the length of time I want to do it.

 

Ted and I will play a game of me sucking him while he's soft and once he starts getting hard I quit and I refuse to start again until he's soft again...the game never lasts very long . I've found that a man trying to go soft is just as difficult, if not more so sometimes, than trying to get hard. Oh well, it is fun while it lasts.

 

Teresa

[Chicup 41]

In my late 30's and I get hard pretty much randomly when the wind blows right. I know this sort of thing will sound like bragging but I could have been an old school porn star when it comes to being able to maintain an erection, at least under pressure. I have a hard time (ok that was NOT meant to be a pun) relating to all the posts about male issues and we haven't really run into those problems.

 

I'd say the only lessening is that as a swinger, my arousal threshold is higher then prior.

[good times 991]

Actually, I have to be honest here and say that I haven't been an instant hard-on kind of guy since my mid 20's.

 

Now that I got that out of the way, I have to say that I have been somewhat surprised how often, in swinging, the woman takes it personally when I don't get an instant erection.

 

One time we met a couple at the club, and within 15-20 minutes we were in a room getting ready to play. We all stripped down to our birthday suits and the woman immediately looked down and said, "don't you find me attractive". Sad part is it put the pressure on enough that it took me twice as long as usual. Another time, we started some foreplay and less than five minutes into it the woman jumped up and ran in the bathroom crying. Seems she assumed I didn't find her attractive because I hadn't rose to the occasion fast enough. Of course, her expectations were no surprise to me as her husband had not only got an erection in that length of time but had finished already. Obviously she was used to it going a lot faster.

 

This has been a problem often enough that we now always discuss it before playing with a new couple. I will tell new playmates that it might take anywhere from 2 to 15 minutes for me to get going. I have never had a problem filling that time with enjoyable things to do though.

 

So yeah, I think as a guy gets older, and also gets more experienced as a swinger, it may take a little more effort. But then again, slowing down a bit can also allow one to better enjoy the experience.

[it'sso 198]

I've been around a long time. I have no problem in getting it up.

My only problem is finding a lady who wants it.

[Trace Ekies 186]

It's taken months for the grin to subside after some of our soirees...if I became erect with a thought like I used to, I'd be hard all of the time...and I imagine some people would find that a bit disconcerting.

 

My biggest problem with erections comes late at night (well after midnight) and with heavy drinking. Give me one or two drinks too many and I may not function properly at 2:30 am. I've had 3 problems total...all with the same circumstances except for the woman.

 

I think most of my performance related issues are age. I'm 44 and like my urologist said, "Viagra was invented by 40 year olds for 40 year olds".

[Swamprat 42]

Being in my sixties, I'm not as good as I once was but I am as good once as I ever was. As a wise old man once said, "I may be too old to cut the mustard, But I'm never too old to lick the jar."

[ncmd_couple 597]

I think there are conflicting expectations that can cause a man to not rising immediately. And those expectations vary depending on a person’s experiences. “L” and I are home nudist, as I see her nude all of the time, that isn’t going to cause instant wood on my part. Even seeing a nude woman at a club isn’t going to cause instant wood. Also, if the man has a nudist background, an erection is something that he doesn’t want to happen just in a general setting as it is frowned upon in the nudist community.

 

As for age being a factor, yes it is. When I was 20, it was easy to get an erection. 30 years later, it takes a little more mental and physical stimulation to get it up. Also, I had a medication side effect problem several years ago that caused me lots of problems in that department. So now I keep Viagra in the medicine cabinet to give me a boost if necessary. I will generally pop one about 30 minutes before any expected play time and the positive effects last for about 36 hours for me. My father is 79 and I know that he is still active, which is nice to know that I have another 20-30 years or more on the odometer!

 

It is a complex situation. Men, just like women, can have as many things that will dampen their desires that have nothing to do with the person in front of them. But that is one of the things that I like about the club scene. All those sexy ladies have a tendency to make me forget about the job, the latest bone headed move by a kid, or that asshole that cut me off on the drive to the club. I think that the only thing that would cause me to lose an erection during play time is if the woman was non-responsive and just laid there like my ex-wife did.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Now that I got that out of the way, I have to say that I have been somewhat surprised how often, in swinging, the woman takes it personally when I don't get an instant erection.

 

One time we met a couple at the club, and within 15-20 minutes we were in a room getting ready to play. We all stripped down to our birthday suits and the woman immediately looked down and said, "don't you find me attractive". Sad part is it put the pressure on enough that it took me twice as long as usual. Another time, we started some foreplay and less than five minutes into it the woman jumped up and ran in the bathroom crying.

 

Seriously?! If a play partner ever ran to the bathroom crying that would be the end of the night for all concerned! How ridiculous that there are women out there who expect men to be at the ready as soon as the clothes come off; I assume neither of those women would have been happy if you'd stuck your fingers in them first thing and said "You're not wet? Don't you find me attractive?"

[Day&Night 15]

Seriously?! If a play partner ever ran to the bathroom crying that would be the end of the night for all concerned! How ridiculous that there are women out there who expect men to be at the ready as soon as the clothes come off; I assume neither of those women would have been happy if you'd stuck your fingers in them first thing and said "You're not wet? Don't you find me attractive?"

 

I agree 1oo%. I once had a play partner pull down my pants and I was semi-hard. She looked up at me from her knees and said " Whats the matter" All I could do was laugh, then she of course wondered what I was laughing at. Not a good way to start but it ended up ok.

[TravlParty 87]

From the female perspective (44); I love giving oral and sensual touch all over, so that's never been an issue. I'll spend as much time as it takes. It's when there are medications involved that seem to get in the way of full erections, at least in my experience. Age - no, I haven't seen that being a problem. My best playmates were in their 50's.

 

From the male perspective (49); the libido is nowhere near tired and old.

 

If a woman is actively participating and into me, it works just fine. I'm on no medications, and my blood pressure is that of a 20 year old (per my doc last week). I still get erections from just a kiss. Yes, even when she walks into the room, in thigh high boots, stockings, a garter belt and nothing else.

[Cpl2share 147]

I am 40, so at just the right age to see the decline of western civilization. Last night I got hard and went soft 4 times while waiting for Mrs. Cpl to get into bed. She knows how to play me. As both of us are fixed, I am not used to condoms. That really is the biggest downer (pun fully intended) for me. I did discover that there is a difference in size of condoms. Apparently there is a small size, and gracious hosts often place these in the bowl at a party. I now check the size before trying to put one on. If it is too small, the erection goes away and then (all in my mind) I am unable to get back up. Other than that, so far I have nto found that I have any troubles as I get older.

[VANudistcpl 109]

As the male half (49) I haven't really seen any problems. I get hard with a good kiss, when the Mrs. dresses up and when we go out to play.

 

Just this past weekend we visited our favorite club and had a very good time, not to mention how long we stayed in the play areas.

[willyoats 324]

I went from 5 times a week with screaming good orgasms to maybe twice a week with so-so orgasms in the past 6 years.

 

Part of that is probably due to the enlarged prostate, the drugs that were prescribed to control the problem, and the surgery tha was done as a last resort.

 

Part of that is surely due to the aging process. It's too bad, but I will not enrich the chemical companies to "solve" this "problem." I still get enough sex with (at the present) three partners so that I am hardly climbing the walls.

 

Guys, as you are creeping up on 70, don't be too surprised at a little slow-down.

[celtic239 297]

When I was a kid I couldn't walk past a copy of National Geographic without getting a hard on. I am in my fifty's and have no problem admitting that I use the little blue pill.

[femnewb4u2 328]

 

To answer your question...I really don't know. I've never expected a man to get hard by just looking at me and to this day, I'm still surprised when it happens. In fact, there are times I wish they wouldn't get hard so quick...I do so enjoy sucking on a soft dick. It's something I rarely get to do or for the length of time I want to do it.

 

Ted and I will play a game of me sucking him while he's soft and once he starts getting hard I quit and I refuse to start again until he's soft again...the game never lasts very long . I've found that a man trying to go soft is just as difficult, if not more so sometimes, than trying to get hard. Oh well, it is fun while it lasts.

 

Teresa

 

 

Ditto with TNT

 

There is sensuality and enjoyment in bringing a man to full erection, for me. Sometimes the longer it takes the more erotic. I too would never expect a man to come to attention just because he saw me. Not at 21. Not at 35. And now. The thought has never occured to me. And have learned that an erection is not a measurement of one's desire to be sexual with me. After all, he could have just seen a great movie!

[crazinred 36]

Well 46 here and suffer ED. I can't really say when it set in as I had about a 5 year dry spell (sexually)and during that time things in my body changed. When myself and Red got back together I realized things just weren't right. Before hand just about anything got me hard and now nothing gets me hard short of a shot. But I sure do still have the desire. During the 5 year dry spell I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and blood pressure problems. Also in this time lots of stress from work and personal life. I attribute all this to the death of my erection. As for relationship to age it is more common for these problems to occur with middle age even though they are possible with all ages.

[it'sso 198]

Well 46 here and suffer ED. I can't really say when it set in as I had about a 5 year dry spell (sexually)and during that time things in my body changed. When myself and Red got back together I realized things just weren't right. Before hand just about anything got me hard and now nothing gets me hard short of a shot. But I sure do still have the desire. During the 5 year dry spell I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and blood pressure problems. Also in this time lots of stress from work and personal life. I attribute all this to the death of my erection. As for relationship to age it is more common for these problems to occur with middle age even though they are possible with all ages.

 

I don't know what you are taking for the high blood pressure, but I take Diovan twice a day and I get hard if the wind blows by my little friend.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

JustAskJulie said:

Do guys as they get older become more like us women and actually require a little more effort? Why do we as women look at men and expect that they should just get hard at the sight of us? I've seen this attitude of women mentioned many times in other threads - the women who think that the guy should be hard just because she's there. Why do we expect more effort out of them than we are willing to give ?

 

Yes, more effort is required. But the cause which goodtimes describes, becoming accustomed to seeing women naked, does not seem to be a factor in my case. My "cause" is my number of years. When I was in my teens, I had an erection morning, noon and night. No stimulation had to be present. When I was forty, I had come to that blessed period in my life when I could walk into the shower in the fitness center and not be embarrassed with a boner-on-display. At my present age, it works on-demand but I have to give it an hour or more for a repeat performance. We know a coupe many years older than we. Both have equipment that works perfectly. This has give me hope.

[crazinred 36]

it said:

I don't know what you are taking for the high blood pressure' date=' but I take Diovan twice a day and I get hard if the wind blows by my little friend.

 

I am on athenolol and from what I have researched it is high on the list of meds know to cause ED and that along with Diabetes seems to have done it to me. My family Doc does not seem interested in changing it at this time. and my urologist says they don't diag the cause of ED just what it takes to get around it. So now I use injections of trimix and it works but still getting the dosage amount worked out.

[Lascivious L&L 866]

There is such a difference between individuals! I've been swinging since my twenties. Been a nudist since then also. Erections didn't come from the sight of nude females then nor does it now. Erotic intent is what has always caused erections for me, when in a sexual situation with another or more than one other. As a teen, I'd get erections from looking, but those weren't sexual situations.

 

Now nearing 60 I've seen so many naked women that expecting an erection from sight alone seems so juvenile. But the sex itself is so much smoother, less nervous, more confident, and more connected than when I was young. To even equate sex with an erection seems silly now. Erections are a wonderful part of sex, but they are not the be all or end all.

 

If the arousal, the comfort, and the connection are there, erections tend to be no problem at all. With my wife, no problem. With someone new, it takes time to create the space of comfort, arousal, and connection. Some people don't need the big three. I always have needed it, even when 20.

[starryeyes 23]

So yea, I think as a guy gets older, and also gets more experienced as a swinger, it may take a little more effort. But then again, slowing down a bit can also allow one to better enjoy the experience.

 

It takes hubby a bit longer to get the engine warmed up and ready for take off. During that time there is so much more going on other than the slam bam thank you ma'am. I believe it has helped us really extend our playtime. When he does achieve a diamond cutter.....

 

The one thing we have noticed is a little longer refractory time... but once again, there are plenty of things to do during this time.

[Chicup 41]

I am 40, so at just the right age to see the decline of western civilization. Last night I got hard and went soft 4 times while waiting for Mrs. Cpl to get into bed. She knows how to play me. As both of us are fixed, I am not used to condoms. That really is the biggest downer (pun fully intended) for me. I did discover that there is a difference in size of condoms. Apparently there is a small size, and gracious hosts often place these in the bowl at a party. I now check the size before trying to put one on. If it is too small, the erection goes away and then (all in my mind) I am unable to get back up. Other than that, so far I have nto found that I have any troubles as I get older.

 

One of our 'bad' swinger stories involved a couple where the guy had a REALLY small penis.

 

We used their condoms (unaware of his issue) and between the woman a horrible sex partner, and the ultra tight condom I really had to work to keep Mr. Happy happy.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Mr. Fuse is 43. We have sex a bit less often than we did in our 20's, but he is always so hard that he leaves me much more sore than others, even if they have unusually large cocks. He never needs any direct stimulation beforehand, either. We have plenty of foreplay, but he never needs any stroking. Makes him a good swing partner because he almost never has any problem getting it up. When I'm with other guys I have to remind myself that most are different than that.

 

I consider myself and him lucky. I figure as long as he stays healthy, he will be relatively unaffected by performance problems for a lot longer in life than most men.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

The sight of a woman starts the wood, her smell intensifies things, her voice or what she says or sounds she makes, her actions... could make or break the deal.

 

If every things good, no problems. (Chemistry ?)

 

If not, I will touch myself a little, secretly.

 

If we are still not getting the necessary wood, again secretly, I will be thinking the most nastiest, deviate, slutty thoughts about you. I mean that in a good way.... I does seem to make hard, harder, even at best.

 

Still no wood ?

 

Well let me start the laughter, We'll do something else for a while and try later if ya still want to.... Deal ?

 

Been that way since a youth, still that way at 48.

 

And yes I have a prescription for Viagra. Although not always needed, I like the darn things, and wish I had them in my younger days also.

[Tadahiko 156]

I'm 40. The site of a naked woman can still make me hard. It doesn't always, but it can. Once the weather heats up, Kari is ordinarily topless (at least, but sometimes completely nude) at home most summer evenings from before dinner until bedtime. But all she has to do is bend over the right way or pose in the right light and I can feel myself rise. Anna rarely goes around naked, but she's braless in a low-cut top, that can at least get my shaft to tingle.

 

That being said, I used to enjoy walking around with a rock-hard shaft, even without the immediate prospect of sexual activity. As a younger man, I could manage that for an extended period with just some female flesh to stare at and a few well-timed yanks on my crank every few minutes. Now, it doesn't stay up unless I am actively involved in something sexual that provides direct, constant stimulation. I'd love to go back to having a raging hard-on whenever I wanted, as long as I wanted. It ain't gonna happen, although I recently started taking Cialis regularly, and it does allow you to fit more erections into your day, even if they don't last forever between servicing.

[amid 91]

crazinred said:

My family Doc does not seem interested in changing it at this time...

 

Not to get too far off the thread... BUT

 

Remember your Dr. works for YOU... I don't care for a close-minded Dr. If your Doc won't explore reasonable alternatives for you consider finding another Dr. or a second opinion.

 

Now back on Topic.

[amid 91]

When I was a much younger man working as a bartender I had a customer that was in his 50's say to me one day..

 

"You know "Joe" as I've gotten to be over 50 I found out the other day I'm getting stronger as I get older.."

 

So I continued to listen with interest.. "How so? I asked."

 

"Well when I was in my teens I would get a hard on and I couldn't bend it with both hands if I wanted to. Now that I'm in my 50's I get an erection and can now bend it clean in half with just two fingers"!

 

 

Well I'm 49 and thankfully I'm just as weak as I was when I was in my teens!

 

(the names have been changed to protect the innocent, namely me)

[shy_couple 459]

I (Mr Shy) do find that it takes more to get aroused. Mrs Shy sometimes gets a little frustrated with this. Right now I am not in the best of shape since I was laid up with an injury and put on an extra 20 lbs. This is something that I have noticed since we have been pursuing our secret "hobby." A little porn, or prospect for date night usually jumps starts things.

 

We have been together 20 years and have 3 small children so energy level has a lot to do with it also. Also since we have been doing this we both know how hot and great sex can be. So a quickie has its release but we both much prefer to wait for that 1-2 hour session where we can focus and totally consume each other.

 

Still getting further off topic, the second or third couple we met, the female warned us about older guys and Viagra. She said watch out because some guys would take it and want to bang on her for hours and it gets to the point that it isn't fun any more.

[midnightplayer 135]

I just turned 63 and my erections are as good as ever. I wake up with a 19 year old hardon on a regular basis. I am in good health, dont smoke and dont drink, and eat well. I believe physical lifestyle has a huge effect on how a man ages with his erection. Yes, I do take Cialis for those times when I want to have a predictable and longlasting hardon and when I want recover faster than I would normally, I can ejaculate 3-4 times a day without difficulty. This is not to be mistaken with bragging, there have been times when I have been under stress and tired and was not as good as I would like, but lifestyle and genes have a lot to do with an aging problem and erections

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

No problems getting a hard on, but staying power and frequency seemed to have taken a hit when we became more sexually active.

 

I had the doc check me out, thinking I might need one of those little pills. Turns out I was chronically dehydrated. So I cut way back on the tea (I am Southern so that was difficult) replacing it with water. When we go out and have a drink I also order plenty of water. Problem solved.

[Miss Sunshine 29]

I know how important it is to a man to get an erection, nice and hard, but I have patience, and sex can still be enjoyable while you wait. At times it is necessary for me to do something I haven't done before or if we are with someone else, do some different things to help him get it up. I don't mind at all. It is part of life, last resort, use the pills but sometimes he says the side effects make sex less enjoyable.

[dr_pepper 25]

For many years, just seeing a naked woman was all it took for sure. Seems that about 15 years ago, I got to where it took more to get me hard. Which sometimes might not be a bad thing (less embarrassing situations). Being basically oral has served me well, since my tongue is always at the ready

[tallman1950 15]

I'm approaching age 60 and have had erectile dysfunction for several years. I tried Viagra but didn't get satisfactory results. Instead I take 500 mg of L-Arginine everyday when taking my vitamins. It seems to help plus the use of a cock ring at the base of my balls will sustain a prolong erection. Just be sure to loosen it every 20 minutes so the blood can flow in and out and a good lubrication helps too. There are other brands like Horny Goat weed and L-Arginine gel. If you want a really hard cock for hours of pleasure, there is a treatment when you stick a injection formula into the base of your cock. I like my remedy better.

[divenaked 325]

We have a friend who uses the shot. He can only use it every other day, and has to change sides each shot. Karla really enjoys the results, I can tell you. So can the neighbors...

[Tadahiko 156]

midnightplayer said:

I am in good health, dont smoke and dont drink, and eat well. I believe physical lifestyle has a huge effect on how a man ages with his erection.

 

Todd and I don't drink and I think that not drinking alcohol is a huge benefit not only for erections but for all health. people don't realize all that booze does to you.

 

(not trying to be preachy, people!)

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Tadahiko said:

people dont realize all that booze does to you

 

Glad somebody else said this. I've been saying this for years and people don't believe me.

[curiousagain 326]

There's a saying "You're only as young as your endothelial tissue". Specifically the lining of your arteries and veins. In other words, keep your arteries clear and aging is slowed. I smoke some but otherwise lead a pretty healthy lifestyle. I'm 53 and of course I'm not as spry as I once was and my refractory period is longer but I'm doing OK. Evidently I'm out there on the good tail of the bell curve.

 

Sometimes erection difficulties are age or disease related and sometimes they are situational or mental or a product of habituation. Men and their erections are often like Pavlov's dog in that a certain stimulus and sometimes only a certain stimulus will cause a certain reaction or lack there of. If you only see your wife naked when you are about to have sex, seeing her naked will be arousing. If you only receive a kiss when you are about to have sex but see her naked all the time you probably are much more likely to be aroused by her kiss than the sight of her naked body.

 

Men are visual creatures though and we tend to get excited by sights more than sounds or smells. I know every time I see the new palm phone commercial with the girl in the red dress I get engorgement and sometimes an erection. After working for years with mostly female associates and swinging for years, the sight of a female body doesn't always cause an immediate erection even if I'm interested. But, once something signals me she is interested in getting busy with me, no problem.

 

It's often all about the triggers.

[funcouple99 35]

I can't wait to read all of these responses.

 

First I would like to ad there is a double standard.

 

When a man doesn't get hard, the women internalizes it as "he doesn't found her attractive". Which then makes most men EMOTIONAL, Not horny. Which then makes an erection difficult.

 

But when a woman is dry, it means the guy needs to go down on her... guys don't think of this as the WOMAN isn't into me. If she doesn't get wet simply pull out some lube and game on.

 

We even had a SM once who LOVES my wife and he only had a 80% erection during play time. She was SAD for two days before she told me why. So funny, this guy is crazy for her (in a good way, we are buds) BUT since he had a fuck fest for 3 days straight before we had a MFM with us, he was a little tired.. also only 6 hours of sleep in 3 days will do it. ... BTW I never did tell my bud she was upset about it... what's the point?

 

As a 37 yr male I can tell you I have had issues with this since I was 19. I am very emotional during relationships and sex , NO I don't show any emotions-- typical man. But I have realized I base my actions on emotions of others not my internal emotions (require acceptance of others---)... really weird and if you bring this up to me in person I will deny ever making this statement. lol

 

When it comes to sex with my wife (emotional bond) I can/have sex with her back to back for hours... normally till she can't take any more. I run daily and love to work out so I look good (not modest) and have great endurance.. but our first few times swinging didn't go well for me.

 

I know good friends in the LS that can have 5+ orgasms and stay hard forever and my theory is they are VERY self centered when it comes to sexemotions (do not depend on acceptance of others). They are very polite and giving.. but their core values are based on selfish emotions.. nothing wrong with this at all as long as you are polite and considerate. Mean while I get my kicks on the emotions of others in and out of bed. When you ad nervousness to this .. it has a rocky start.

 

I used trimix a few times and kicked my nervousness in the LS and now no worries. In fact we normally get double hitters in a night when we do go out. One couple isn't enough for either of us. Really good work out too. ?

[funcouple99 35]

Wow just read more.

So there are tons of reasons.

 

1) emotional

2) age

3) medication(s)

4) medical conditions

 

Wow... I guess there are a FEW reasons it sucks to be a guy... but that is about all.. the rest is pretty F***ing awesome. lol

[DnM69 70]

I am 30 and have no problems getting it up for my wife. On the weekends we have sex 3-4 times a day and normally another 3-4 times during the week. We are still new to the LS and both times we have played I have had trouble getting hard and maintaining it. The first time I put down to the fact it was really late and I had a few beers. The second I didn't drink and it was better but I struggled to climax (I couldn't climax the first time).

 

The most arousing thing for me is my partners pleasure, if she is not into it or not enjoying herself sex just doesn't work for me, so I like to start by pleasuring her orally or with touching and kissing. Once she starts getting into it, it is like an aphrodisiac for me. I think the awkwardness of a first time with a new partner doesn't help me either. I think that for me an erection is as much in my head as in my pants.

[let's do it again 414]

Sure your erection gets less as you age, so does the volume of your semen. A realistic woman or man knows that your body works better when you are younger than older. A women's vagina isn't as wet and a man's penis not as hard, yes it takes more effort and a little help such as viagra.