Top 10 Stupid Things to Do in Swinging

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Echo Slevin, NCfuncouple98 and LikeMinds321. I think playing with a former flame is somewhere on the Top Ten List of Stupid Things To Do in Swinging.

 

Need to create the top ten list and put it in the swinger advice section!

 

 

Good idea. Let's get it started. List your top 10 (or however many) stupid things to do in swinging. I'll take the top 10 and we'll add them to the Advice Section.

 

 

- Playing with an Ex

- Trying to play with vanilla friends

- Playing with co-workers

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Getting shit faced/sloppy drunk is pretty stupid

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Getting shit faced/sloppy drunk is pretty stupid

 

Yeah, but anyone who drinks knows it can happen to them:hahaha:

 

Playing with relatives. Yep, believe it or not we have a thread about that. And my apologies to anyone who has, it's my opinion.

[MrkLin 393]

Expecting your partner to, or hoping your partner will, 'take one for the team.'

 

Not communicating with your partner - if you have something on your mind, talk it over!

 

Disregarding, modifying, changing, or otherwise ignoring the rules you and your partner have previously agreed on without discussing it with your partner beforehand.

 

Not establishing and agreeing on rules in the first place!

 

Exaggerating or misrepresenting yourselves in your online profile - just be yourself.

 

Behaving badly when things don't go your way, or an encounter doesn't meet your expectations. Tact, dignity, and grace will get you a lot farther in the long run than throwing a temper tantrum will.

 

Developing deep emotional ties with swing partners - you're looking to augment an already satisfying sex life, not replace your partner, aren't you?

[The Fuse 1,012]

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

[IvoryTowers 380]

Expecting your partner to, or hoping your partner will, 'take one for the team.'

 

Taking one for the team!

[Hotwallabies 90]

Putting unattractive and sometimes downright scary pics on your Swing Lifestyle account.

 

Another really stupid thing to do is swing when you work for an organization that is directly opposed to swinging. I did this and it was a really bad idea.

 

Trying to swing without your partner.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

Don't be pushy, with others or your own partner.

 

Might get some complaints from some here about this one, but IMHO going bareback should be on this list.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

My wife told me to check out the lifestyle and the club and if it all looks good I'll bring her next time. Do you want to go play?

[slevin 1,374]

Turning to swinging to try and improve a dead/dying sex life or a relationship with issues.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Mistaking swinging as permission to cheat or "get a little" on the side.

 

Not communicating openly and honestly with your partner, no matter what.

 

Trying to talk a partner into swinging.

 

I'm sure I'll think of more later.

[LFM2 1,482]

I wouldn't tell Dave that he could go meet with his secret girlfriend he's been talking with on the internet and then have sex and expect him to come home and be all lovey-dovey toward me.

[MrkLin 393]

Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.

 

Indulging in 'gassy' or 'aromatic' foods or beverages before or during a meeting. I'll be blunt here - garlic is NOT a cologne!

 

Setting your expectations so high that there's no possible way for anyone to possibly meet them. You can do anything you want in your fantasies, but you have to keep things real in real life - hence the name.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Putting unattractive and sometimes downright scary pics on your Swing Lifestyle account.

 

One that kind of ties in with the picture theme you've mentioned is, taking really sexy pictures of her in that cute piece of lingerie, while she's posing in front of a stack of dirty dishes or a weeks worth of dirty laundry that's in the floor.

[exploringRM 305]

 

Indulging in 'gassy' or 'aromatic' foods or beverages before or during a meeting. I'll be blunt here - garlic is NOT a cologne!

 

 

I love to cook and in the vanilla world always bring adventurous food to a party. What I'm used to cooking is spicy, hot, garlicy, etc. Now I get cooking block when trying to figure out what to bring to a house party..lol.

[MrkLin 393]

I love to cook and in the vanilla world always bring adventurous food to a party. What I'm used to cooking is spicy, hot, garlicy, etc. Now I get cooking block when trying to figure out what to bring to a house party..lol.

 

 

We ask couples to bring a snack to share with everyone attending our parties - nothing fancy, just whatever they like to snack on. As a result, we always have a lot of different finger foods laid out in the kitchen for folks to partake in. We've seen everything from chips & salsa to cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto - but the one thing that stands in my mind was a huge, delicious looking "Traveling Taco." It was basically a platter piled high with refried beans, seasoned beef, shredded lettuce, cheese, salsa, sour cream, sliced black olives - you get the picture. The idea was that you used a spoon to spread a bit of this concoction onto tortilla chips, one at a time, then eat them. It went literally untouched the whole evening, until just before the party started to break up. Nobody wanted to get into that huge pile of beans and be the first one to become "musical" over the course of the evening. Of course once the party was about over, and folks were dressed and getting ready to go home, all bets were off...

[Guest screaminggood]

Having an argument at the club/party with your spouse.

 

Do those people really think anyone will want to play with them afterward?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Taking your wife to an on-premise club and not telling her what kind of club it is until she hits the play area:eek:

[Hotwallabies 90]

I don't know if it's a stupid top ten but another thing we did was not realizing that swinging takes quite a bit of effort. You have to seek people out, chat with them, send pics, go out to meet, and after what could've been weeks of build up you may not hit it off (which I would say you don't with most people) then you have to start all over again. I thought swinging was going to be a lot easier than it is. I guess I just imagined the sex and never considered the work it took to get to the sex. Doh!

[exploringRM 305]

... I thought swinging was going to be a lot easier than it is. I guess I just imagined the sex and never considered the work it took to get to the sex. Doh!

 

We were just discussing that the other night with another couple (at a hotel takeover...OMG what fun!). We thought it would be a free-for-all when we first started. Had no idea of the different ways people like to swing, the sheer amount of couples just looking for a single female (and not interested in couples), finding people you can talk too and also think they are hot when they are naked..lol.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Having an argument at the club/party with your spouse.

This!

 

That's like the swinging death sentence.

[siren52 15]

can I add "getting jealous" to the list?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Gossiping about everyone and wondering why no one plays with you.

[socolais 696]

Going to the party with the expectation of getting laid

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Playing with an expired condom

 

 

LM

[jnksexyduo 15]

1. Thinking that JUST because someone is a swinger they are going to have sex with you.

2. Being pushy and over bearing when the situation doesn't call for it (some people like dominated some don't)

3. Getting way to wasted that you can't even undress yourself

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Touching or pokin' without permission.

 

Breaking out the camera and saying SMILE!!

[good times 991]

Getting emotionally attached to a playmate.

 

Note - this shouldn't need to be on the top ten, but I have seen it happen often enough.

[athenagirl 36]

Putting unattractive and sometimes downright scary pics on your Swing Lifestyle account.

 

Another really stupid thing to do is swing when you work for an organization that is directly opposed to swinging. I did this and it was a really bad idea.

 

Trying to swing without your partner.

How does an organization proclaim it's "opposed to swinging?" I mean, what kind of organization (other than a government organization that may demand a security clearance) needs to know about your sex life?

Just curious.

Athenagirl

[Tia Vampire 167]

Oh man Good Times, you took mine. It's all good. The only other one I can think of that has not been mentioned yet is being too picky.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Throwing your used condoms under the host's bed.

[WesternSwing 504]

Another really stupid thing to do is swing when you work for an organization that is directly opposed to swinging. I did this and it was a really bad idea.

Unless you work for a sex toy retailer I think just about any organization is directly opposed to swinging, and definitely goes back to swinging with coworkers.

 

Here's a few extra I an think of right off:

 

• Having to be drunk or high to have sex with others.
  
• Pushing beyond your agreed-upon boundaries and thus creating drama for everyone involved when it goes bad.
  
• Pushing beyond your comfort zone and resenting your partner and hating yourself afterward.
  

 

Mr. WS

[MrkLin 393]

Don't create drama - especially where none exists! (Some folks just aren't happy unless others are sniping at each other.)

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- Allowing yourself to fuck stupid.

 

This is different than being fucked stupid.

[WesternSwing 504]

Here's another one:

 

Don't assume that just because someone is nice to you at the club or at a party that they want to have sex with you.

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

IMO, not splitting the cost for a room, meal, drinks, etc. is stupid. Couples should pay their own way. I know that some feel differently about the single female encounter in regard to this.

[siren52 15]

Susan here-- Allowing yourself to fuck stupid.

 

This is different than being fucked stupid.

 

I'll add to this this,

"never fuck anyone crazier than you"

[Chicup 41]

1- Assuming you will be friends with the other couple before having sex with them.

2- Assuming they are there for the same reason you are.

3- Agreeing to share a hotel room for the night before getting their 'play' rules.

4- Not talking to the female half of the couple via phone before agreeing to meet.

5- Thinking 'well they have a very long profile with a lot of rules, so they must really know what they want'.

6 – Thinking bringing in your long time vanilla friends after a night of drinking is a 'good' idea.

7- Assuming the people you will meet will all be honest, and sane.

8 – Assuming the attractive long time single female is single by her choice and not that shes batshit insane.

9 – Assuming you won't have ANY jealousy issues the first time you swap.

10 – Assuming that its better to find partners separately the first time you swing.

11 – Thinking you need to drink to swing.

[Willing29 66]

"Not speaking up if either one of you is not having fun or enjoying themselves", it's real hard to read minds when your spouse or SO is engaged in something on the other side of the bed. He or she might be waiting for you to speak up and you might be waiting for them to speak up. Don't be afraid to pull the plug and hurt someone feelings. Your and you SO are more important.

[Tia Vampire 167]

Chicup- #7 was our first mistake and one that we will never make again. Also what Willing29 said, you have to have your SO back, no matter what.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

3- Agreeing to share a hotel room for the night before getting their 'play' rules.

 

the first mistake I made in swinging.

 

I will take it one step further - aggreeing to share a hotel room with a couple that you haven't actually met and established that there is mutual interest.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Acting possessive about your playmates.

 

(Sorry if this is a repeat)

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

When we first started out, we used to take rejection way too personally. In hindsight, it was very stupid to do so. Rejection is just part of being in the lifestyle. You have to learn to deal with it, cause it's gonna happen!

[WesternSwing 504]

the first mistake I made in swinging.

 

I will take it one step further - aggreeing to share a hotel room with a couple that you haven't actually met and established that there is mutual interest.

Taking it even another step further: agreeing to split the cost of the room and not getting the money up-front. We got burned last month by a single guy who agreed to pay half the room and then didn't have the cash after we had put it on our credit card.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Even if it's already listed, just add it anyway. My original plan was the items that got mentioned the most would make the final list... I have a feeling the final list is going to have way more than 10 things on it.

[lustylearning 705]

Yay! I don't have to read them all:lol:

 

Assume that your rules and preferences are the only correct ones.

[sweetmix 15]

Every time a husband and wife are intimate with each other, push your way into their play and say, "Don't forget about me."

[MrkLin 393]

Get pissed off that girl A is more interested in girl B than she is in you - even if you happen to be girl C.

 

Assume that a bi female will automatically be attracted to you because you're a woman. She might want to play with your hubby instead of you.

 

I don't know why I didn't think of this one before: It's really damned stupid to assume that anyone has the same wants, needs, desires, fantasies, or dreams that you have. Your fantasies are yours alone - no matter who you share them with. NOBODY can ever live up to those fantasies - know that going in...

 

Parking in a neighbor's driveway while attending a party. (Yes, it happened.) News flash, Einstein - those flashing lights outside belong to the tow truck that is hauling your car away...

 

Criticizing anyone's oral technique while they're in the middle or performing oral on you. That mouth has teeth in it - 'nuff said...

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Re: "Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband."

 

Oh not usually a good idea.

 

Well, usually. My wife and I have discussed her being the center of a gang bang, and she's receptive to the idea and receptive to it being a surprise, on the one condition that all the men are men she's had sex with before.

 

So, define "surprise" I guess

[Guest screaminggood]

And I trust my husband enough that I'd be receptive to him setting up a gangbang with guys I haven't had sex with before!