Top 10 Stupid Things to Do in Swinging

[2inSanDiego4u 181]

IMO the stupidest thing anyone can do in swinging is to play when there are problems in the marriage/at home. We just heard of another couple we know who split up, and they'd only been swinging a few months.

[ConnieJim 40]

Thinking that swinging will put the "Spark" back in your current relationship/marriage and keep it from ending

[NymphoWind 16]

Good idea. Let's get it started. List your top 10 (or however many) stupid things to do in swinging. I'll take the top 10 and we'll add them to the Advice Section.

 

 

- Playing with an Ex

- Trying to play with vanilla friends

- Playing with co-workers

 

Breaking whatever rules that were set between you and your partner even just once!

[Chicup 41]

Assume that your mentally stable and drama free friends will stay mentally stable and drama free forever. Sometimes it takes years for the nutty time bomb to go off.

[SheLovesTheSun 40]

There are some excellent ones in here! One stupid thing to do in swinging is get jealous of your partner being pleasured by someone else.

[grabbyzz 26]

Making rules that you don't keep yourself...Yes I've had it happen.

[ktimephoenix 156]

making unnatural or unnatennable rules

 

(like one couple we were back and forthing with on the net had a rule that neither partner could kiss during foreplay, but could kiss during sex, but only if both partners kissed their swing partners at the same time).

 

and one i'm guilty of.

 

expecting 4 people to hit it off, be attracted enough to one another to have sex, all within 10 minutes of meeting.

[Expulsion 40]

Jumping into swinging without being absolutely sure it's what you want.

Not being honest with your partner if you have any reservations about it!

[realcplub2 513]

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

 

Ok, I "quoted" this from FUSE and then read the rest of the thread before writing..

 

The word "surprise" is subjective.. As was stated by a few, some people are into it, but with conditions. My lovely, is one of these, she has fantasies, or surprise gangbangs or encounters..

 

Now before anyone goes off on a tangent, allow me to state everyone knows I preach fantasy and reality are two very different things.. Safety and Security being the chief issues with fantasies such as this.. But it is possible..

 

We have done it a few times, with a small difference, Its a surprise in the sense, that she doesnt know WHEN, but is aware it CAN happen anytime within a certain time frame.. I usually use a month, all the while knowing the target date. Beyond that she has an exact idea as to the fun for the evening.

 

Now on to the next..

 

Making rules that you don't keep yourself...Yes I've had it happen.

 

Lets be clear, while yes comprimising ones own rules is never a good thing.. Personal preferences and Experience, tends to make rules...

 

EVOLVE

 

And even more importantly, when caught up in the moment there are plenty of things that were a No GO, that suddenly are wanted even requested..

 

A no kissing rule can go by the way side fast..

 

But to answer Grabby directly, It really depends on the subject/rule in question, And Why the double standard occured..

 

Now here are the HIGHLIGHTS from the entire list that stood out..

_______________________________________________________

 

- Thinking that just because someone is a swinger they are going to have sex with you.

- Being pushy and over bearing when the situation doesn't call for it (some people like dominated some don't)

- Playing with an Ex

- Trying to play with vanilla friends

- Playing with co-workers

- Getting shit faced/sloppy drunk, before activities even begin, or Getting way to wasted that you can't even undress yourself,Needing to get drunk or buzzed, before you can consider play

- Playing with relatives

- Expecting your partner to, or hoping your partner will, 'take one for the team.'

- Developing deep emotional ties with swing partners

- Turning to swinging to try and improve a dead/dying relationship with issues.

- Not communicating openly and honestly with your partner, no matter what.

- Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.

- Setting your expectations so high that there's no possible way for anyone to possibly meet them.

- taking really sexy pictures of her in that cute piece of lingerie, while she's posing in front of a stack of dirty dishes or a weeks worth of dirty laundry that's in the floor.

- getting jealous - get jealous of your partner being pleasured by someone else.

- Gossiping about everyone and wondering why no one plays with you.

- Touching or pokin' without permission.

- Breaking out the camera and saying SMILE!! Without permission...

- Assuming you will be friends with the other couple before having sex with them.

- Assuming they are there for the same reason you are.

- Agreeing to share a hotel room for the night before getting their 'play' rules / aggreeing to share a hotel room with a couple that you haven't actually met and established that there is mutual interest.

- Not talking to the female half of the couple via phone before agreeing to meet.

- Thinking 'well they have a very long profile with a lot of rules, so they must really know what they want'.

- Assuming the people you will meet will all be honest, and sane.

– Assuming you won't have ANY jealousy issues the first time you swap.

– Assuming that its better to find partners separately the first time you swing.

- Not speaking up if either one of you is not having fun or enjoying themselves

- Assume that a bi female will automatically be attracted to you because you're a woman.

- Not being honest with your partner or prospective playmates

[exploringRM 305]

- Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.

 

This one sticks out for me as one of the swinger sites I belong to has a blog, where people just post inline, a list of messages. The amount of political discussions in there are ridiculous. Sports talk as well (I'm not a sports fan). And not just Sports talk, but almost arguments.

 

Based on some of the blogger's comments, I just would never want to met them..such a turn off.

[rathor 15]

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

 

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

 

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

[bbarnsworth 2,643]

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

 

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

 

Because (based on responses I've previously seen here on this subject) most women do not like to be surprised with a situation where she is expected to fuck men she has never even met before.

 

My wife is quite adamant about this. She has said she'd be fine with being surprised by a gang bang, with as many men as I could muster together in one room. The one requirement is that all men involved have to be men she has previously had swinging sex with, and enjoyed it.

 

Before this spins out of control Might I suggest we split this off into another thread?

[The Fuse 1,012]

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

 

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

 

Sorry for being unclear. By "surprise" I meant without any reason to believe one's loved one would be happy with the situation. I had in mind people who've not even talked about swinging, or at least not seriously.

[toofartoosee 31]

As I read this, I think that there might be room for things not to do before swinging.

 

One that jumps to mind is. Take you time when shaving!!!!

 

No , no Don't mind the band aid, It's cool, really...

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I don't get this one. If I have told my wife that this saturday I have surprise for her (which of course belongs to swinging) and she should be ready at 6 PM in her sexy dress and I show her 4 guys ready to bang her, then whats wrong ?

 

NOTE: Before doing this let us say I already know she likes a gangbang sometimes.

 

You don't get this because you are not married and have had limited experience with women (per your own posts). Once you've had a little more experience with women and how they react to things, then you will probably get it.

[belgiumcoast 55]

Setting up an encounter as a "surprise" for your wife or husband.

 

While I do agree that in 99% of the cases this is a very bad idea, it can be a stunning good one too...

My wife surprised me 2x with this. The first time was my birthday, and due to 'not having time' she told me that she hadn't been able to arrange a birthday party. That night at 6pm my mother called me if we were at home because she had some free cinema tickets that would expire soon and she would take the kids with her. About an hour later our swinger friends arrived and I had a great birthday party (the kids slept at my mothers place).

 

The second time was we were going to visit some relatives of her (very boring people), so I hated this trip.

Actually we never arrived there (there was no visit planned) but we stopped at a club we never had visited before (she had her sexy outfit in the back of the car) and she had arranged to meet a few couples that we know.

[belgiumcoast 55]

I actually forgot nr 3: she booked a swinger-sailing vacation without me knowing;) and it proved to be SUPER (we went again the next year and are planning to go this year too.

[djjwp 129]

Gossiping about everyone and wondering why no one plays with you.

 

BINGO, met a couple that he thought we should know everyone they played with and how long a list it was. I'm not sure but I think he was thinking this was a job interview.

 

Discretion folks, discretion.

[sexcupid 809]

I actually forgot nr 3: she booked a swinger-sailing vacation without me knowing;) and it proved to be SUPER (we went again the next year and are planning to go this year too.

 

Yes...but most people get "suprised" by their spouse in a bad way. Your wife knows you are open to doing LS oriented things, so her "suprising" you by booking your vacations or setting up a house party is a nice thing for your spouse to do.

 

Not a "suprise honey! I invited 3 other men/women/couples over to entertain me/you/us tonight..." without any prior discussion or participation in the LS.

 

For OP/thread:

 

Our d'oh! moment comes when someone that you have barely spoken to for 5 min wants to go play. Sometimes this is ok (ie: a pile of people in the playroom)...if its a one on one meeting, we are meeting you in public for a reason, to judge whether or not we want to get naked with you. If me, your wife, and my sweetie are the only ones talking and your only contribution is "so do y'all wanna go get a room?" Then no, we probably don't (regardless of how well we happen to be getting along with your wife).

 

Conversation guys...learn how to have one and don't leave it all on your wife to have it for you.

[slevin 1,374]

While I do agree that in 99% of the cases this is a very bad idea, it can be a stunning good one too...

 

Those are not the kinds of surprises that were being talked about. You knew the people involved and had been with them before. The type of surprise being discussed here was surprising your non-swinging wife with a cute bi-sexual girl she's never met for that threesome you've been fantasizing about. Or inviting a few guys she has never met over for a surprise orgy. And other surprises along those lines...

 

Not good surprises.

[nvnites 36]

A particular favorite of mine is watching someone attempt to start a swingclub to get rich or laid, typically they get neither...

 

Cheers

Bill....

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

Good idea. Let's get it started. List your top 10 (or however many) stupid things to do in swinging. I'll take the top 10 and we'll add them to the Advice Section.

 

 

- Playing with an Ex

- Trying to play with vanilla friends

- Playing with co-workers

 

Oh crap.

 

I think we're batting a thousand on those. Oh God. I'm going to have to send this thread to Mrs. Little Bird. It's, like, a list of the only people she's attracted to. We are playing with fire...

[Pleasure King 16]

Approaching a couple who plays together and attempting to get them to play separately.

[Guest onesweetashoney]

Going on a blind date!

Telling someone in your community that your swingers...especially when it could cost you your job!

talking about other swingers to swingers!

Not talking about rules b4 you end up in the bedroom

[two4youinswva 3,068]

This one isn't a Top 10 candidate, because hopefully, while we have witnessed it once, it is very rare:

 

Walking around a club event carrying two cups; one you drink from, and the other a spit-cup for your chew.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

This one isn't a Top 10 candidate, because hopefully, while we have witnessed it once, it is very rare:

 

Walking around a club event carrying two cups; one you drink from, and the other a spit-cup for your chew.

Geezy, Petes. I'm relieved to know that western Pennsylvania is not the only region where this happens.

 

If I may ask, was it a beaver or a buffalo who was carrying the two cups?

[lustylearning 705]

two4youinswva said:

Walking around a club event carrying two cups; one you drink from, and the other a spit-cup for your chew.

 

I've developed a sudden case of the no kissing rule

[two4youinswva 3,068]

SW_PA_Couple said:

If I may ask, was it a beaver or a buffalo who was carrying the two cups?

Well, it was the buffalo... this time.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I've developed a sudden case of the no kissing rule:D

 

Ha ha hahahahaha!!

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Walking around a club event carrying two cups; one you drink from, and the other a spit-cup for your chew.

 

As a wrestler in my youth, it was very common to see guys chewing or dipping. (A quick way to lose a pound or two before a match). But even as teenagers we had a enough common sense to keep it hidden from our girl friends. And to make sure we brushed well after the match.

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

Getting into a political, religious, or any other kind of controversial discussion anywhere even remotely near a lifestyle function of any type.

 

Indulging in 'gassy' or 'aromatic' foods or beverages before or during a meeting. I'll be blunt here - garlic is NOT a cologne!

 

Setting your expectations so high that there's no possible way for anyone to possibly meet them. You can do anything you want in your fantasies, but you have to keep things real in real life - hence the name.

 

 

These are three BRILLIANT observations. We're going to have to remind ourselves (again) of the first one.

[Guest cherrysbarrys]

showing up at the wrong house........ with a get to know you attitude....and getting lucky...

[hardrockers70 16]

Always paying for everything on playdates

 

From when I was a swinging single.

[bitNtim 84]

Also never a good idea to keep your black socks on guys esp if there are photos involved....they are not even sexy in old porn movies.

[hornylisa 15]

This thread definitely made me lol..

 

1. Forget to wear clean underwear.

A few times at clubs I have seen guys sport stained boxer shorts, bleh, this is such a turn off

 

2. Not aiming while you cum..

Happened a few in group situations, while I was waiting for my 'glory shot', the guy nearly cumming wasn't aiming properly and covered the other hetero males in his sticky juice, not a turn on for them, but funny for me

 

3. Meeting weird people from online sex sites

It always pays to do a quick background check before you have a violent ex convict turn up at your house, drunk and refusing to leave. Lucky we have 9-1-1

[angelkin 1,326]

In the theme of the title of the thread...Top 10 Stupid Things to Do in Swinging:

 

Ask 'why not' when someone turns you down. You probably really don't want to know.

[81lizard69 470]

Bringing a bag of dildo's to a party and you are a male.

 

Cuming in your wife at a party leaving unsuspecting men to eat her and find a surprise left by some one else.

 

Having a pet run around the house of a swinging party. No one loves your dog/cat as much as you do.

 

If you are a woman and instead of squirting you pee and call it a squirt. We know the difference and you are not fooling us.

 

Dis regarding your playmates feelings. Yes you might be fulfilling a fantasy but that person underneath you is a person that has feelings.

[SwingSetWife 444]

Our first time meeting a couple in person that we met online- we went to their house for 2 nights.

 

Don't do this lmao!!! It was really bad. Incredibly awkward. We had absolutely nothing in common, therefore nothing to talk about. It was the very rookie mistake of "Yay we are gonna have sex!!!" And realizing that talking and liking the people are way more important.

 

 

I'm gonna edit and add more awkwardness.

 

After our meeting, apparently the other couple didn't find the experience all that bad (how could they not????) So the husband would almost constantly text us afterwards. He would text hubby to ask him to go fuck his wife alone, with no regard for whether I knew or cared. And he would text me with pictures of his penis all day long. We were both trying to be polite and brush them off in that "maybe they will get the hint and just leave us alone". But that was our second mistake. We have since learned to be a bit more firm and forthcoming.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

So, who has some things they'd like to add to this thread?

 

A couple of thoughts:

 

1. Don't worry if the thing you want to add has already been posted. Repeats are OK, because hey, there's 80+ posts!

2. Don't worry if you have done some of these stupid things, or end up doing them in the future. We've all screwed up, usually more than once, and yet, we're still here.

 

So, add your items!