Interracial Swinging - will I be able to find Arab partners?

[veiledcuriosity 15]

Hello all,

 

I'm new to the forum and my bf and I are curious about swinging.

 

We're an interracial couple, but perhaps a rarer form than the usual - I'm white and he's Arab. He's really into the idea of swinging and is pretty serious about doing it. I'm open to the idea but I'm not attracted to white guys - at all (nor am I bi). All of my prior boyfriends have been from other nationalities (with the exception of two - and the problem there was that I wasn't attracted to them, lol). I'm not really into black guys either - I just like guys who are tan with dark hair (esp middle eastern).

 

I guess I'm just concerned that either we won't be able to do this due to a lack of suitable male swingers - or that I'll end up reluctantly swinging with someone I'm not attracted to.

 

Any thoughts? Have others come across non-white/non-black swingers? Are there particular areas where such couples might be more common? Are there any ON HERE?

 

I know I'm making it difficult *sigh* I'm just picky...

 

Another option is that we just go with his second fantasy - seeing me with another guy... we've got a few on 'the list' of some of the Arab guys we know that I'm attracted to and seem like they'd potentially go for it (one of them has already indirectly tried, lol). I'm definitely up for that and it would be fulfilling for him too. I'd just feel bad that we couldn't fulfill his fantasy of swinging.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

There's nothing wrong with being "picky." You like what you like and you have a right to pursue it. Just remember that the narrowness of your criteria will make it more challenging to find suitable playmates, so you need to be very patient in your pursuit. If you find yourself settling for something other than what you truly want, you won't enjoy the lifestyle very much. Good luck!

[IvoryTowers 380]

I agree that there's nothing wrong with being picky, but you should push your perceived boundaries a little as you get into swinging. The whole set up is so sexy, you might be surprised what/who attracts you!

 

I have a very definite type as well, but I've had a great time with men who were not at all that type. Would I want to have sex with just that man lots of times? Probably not. But in a swap situation, it works.

 

I wouldn't rush out and swap with a WASP, but don't automatically turn down, say, Italians or Hispanics. Of course, if it isn't working, you should switch back to your own partner, but if you really want to give this a try, be open minded in all ways!

[Guest screaminggood]

You're listed as "Midwest," so we can't really tell what your ethnic stats are in your area. Since swinging is a microcosm, you should be able to find the same type of people that you see on your streets.

[N8ture Girl 318]

As another poster said, don't go out of your comfort zone, but don't rule out other types of people 100%. In the beginning I had my narrow idea of what I wanted as far as looks in a potential playmate. I soon found out that that was like finding a needle in a hay stack! Having an open mind has allowed me the great opportunity to explore some wonderful fellas outside my narrow minded ideas

[The Fuse 1,012]

I agree with the others. As we have gained more experience, I've found more types of guys attractive. If you go out to parties and meet and greet events, I would suggest talking to a lot of people. You might be surprised.

 

Think of it this way -- you were looking for specific things when you met your boyfriend. Those things are important in someone you love and spend a lot of time with. But for someone you are only going to see casually, if they do not have all the same qualities, you can enjoy the things you find attractive about them and not worry about the things you wouldn't be into for a long-term relationship. Of course, this will only work if you sometimes find different types somewhat attractive, even if you wouldn't have wanted a real dating relationship with them. A few hours together and some casual sex is a different thing entirely.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I know I'm making it difficult *sigh* I'm just picky...

 

You can be so picky that swinging will never happen.

 

When I saw you nicknamed of veiledcuriousity and liking "arab" men it got me wondering...

[slevin 1,374]

Come to Toronto, we have seen a number of middle eastern men out at the club...though admittedly it's a relatively low ratio. They are out there though. Toronto is a great place for that, with such a massive mix of cultures.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I just like guys who are tan with dark hair

 

Well, how about Mexico

 

 

Any thoughts? Have others come across non-white/non-black swingers? Are there particular areas where such couples might be more common? Are there any ON HERE?

 

His name is Fernando he is listed in the personals forum. He is also a pilot with his own plane. Location isnt an issue.......

[iapr 24]

We are both caucasion and our preference is caucasion but we still have the same issues as you. This really isn't about race or skin color but more a matter of finding people both of you are attracted to and comfortable and we all have that challenge to one degree or another.

 

Finding another couple where all four people are attracted and comfortable with each other four a straight up full swap is very hard to do under ideal circumstances and the more you try to add different qualifications and requirements into the equation the more you will decrease your opportunities.

 

If you try to narrow your search to White fem/Arab male couples that are open to the idea of swinging you are going to be looking for needles in haystacks. What happens when you find that one in million couple and there turns out to be no attraction, then what?

 

Race issues aside, you really are dealing with a universal issue in swinging and that is the issue of finding mutual attraction between couples. So my advice will be that I give to all couples considering entering the lifestyle and that is do your homework and research swinging as much as you can. Put up a profile on a swingers website that serves your local area and then get out to a lifestyle club and start meeting real swingers in person.

 

Perhaps the more you get to know individuals as unique human beings and look past the melanin level in their skin you will find some that you have an acceptable level of attraction for.

[veiledcuriosity 15]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the replies! I'm definitely open to other types beside simply Arab, so Hispanic, Italian, Persian, Indian, Pakistani... yeah those might be appealing as well. I know Toronto has a large range of diversity - I'd love to go sometime (and not just for swinging!) Chicup, LOL I loved the graph - a nice visual representation of my prospects at this point (and I did see the yellow dot!).

 

I think some of you brought up a good point - that attraction isn't just a matter of skin color - people are attracted to a huge variety of different things. Mine happens to be tan skin, but I certainly need more than that to be attracted! And when you add four people's various preferences into the mix, it indeed can be a difficult task for two couples to all be sufficiently attracted to one another.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I think some of you brought up a good point - that attraction isn't just a matter of skin color - people are attracted to a huge variety of different things. Mine happens to be tan skin, but I certainly need more than that to be attracted! And when you add four people's various preferences into the mix, it indeed can be a difficult task for two couples to all be sufficiently attracted to one another.

 

Thank you for clarifying, it does make a difference. There is nothing wrong with preferences. Personality goes along way once we actually socialize with other lifestyle people, it really does

 

Welcome to the Swingers Board

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

In case you have not yet found it, a swingers' Web site exists having a search feature which facilitates finding people by ethnic background, one of these being "Middle Eastern". This is the Adult Friend Finder. I found several of the attributes of this particular Web site to be undesirable so I no longer subscribe. But I have, out of simple curiosity, made searches using the Middle Eastern criterion and seem to recall the software finding at least three or four within a fifty mile radius. Slim pickings but something, anyway.

 

~M

[Tia Vampire 167]

Like others have said here, you are going to be more open minded. I also had my mind set on what I would call a desirable couple. I was more into guys with that goth look and my SO was more into asian chicks. It was hard to find the ideal couple. We are also an interracial couple. We live in the south and found out that there are still alot of people still stuck in the past. Coming from New York, I found this to be crazy to still be going on. The way that you think and the way another cou[le may think of you or about you will very slowly change. Be prepared to meet some narrow minded people, but keep your options open and keep on looking. The right couple will come along and they may not be what you thought you were looking for. Believe me, it happened to us.

[Mr.Essex 264]

To the OP: In almost 10 years of swinging, I've met a sum total of two Middle Eastern/West Asian swingers. One woman (Tunisian) who was a world of fun, and one man (Egyptian) who was the best MFM partner that a guy could have. I met the Tunisian woman in Frankfurt and the Egyptian man in NYC, both of which are cities with incredibly large Middle Eastern populations (per capita). If your primary choice in swingmates are other ME's, you'll have your work cut out for you. I know that you can find them, but it'll be a lot easier if you visit a larger city.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I guess I'm just concerned that either we won't be able to do this due to a lack of suitable male swingers - or that I'll end up reluctantly swinging with someone I'm not attracted to.

 

 

There are a million single guys out there.... if you are open to single guys you will be able to find ones that meet your needs. It wasn't too long ago that I saw a single guy posting here that (if I remember correctly) fit exactly your type and was posting that he had a very hard time because he didn't fit the type that most people are looking for.

 

Whether it's an arab looking guy, or a woman with small boobs and short blond hair - whatever it is that turns you on, chances are there is someone out that fits it. Granted the more specific you are about what you are looking for the longer you may have to look to find those people. You're probably going to weed through a lot of people who don't fit what you want to find the few who do, but there's no reason you have to change what you want or accept guys who don't turn you on in order to swing... you just won't be able to swing as often as those who are turned on by more common types.