Are all swinging ladies fit and attractive?

[lolagirl 15]

I do have a question - again we are totally new and have not experienced or ventured out into this lifestyle yet. In general, are the ladies all fit and in good shape? Mr. Lolagirl says I could put ladies half my age to shame, and I do have a shapely body and pretty face but I'm by no means perfect in any way. I'm just curious as to the type of women who have fun? Are all shapes and sizes out there? I want to be attractive to other men (and women) but if everyone is Barbiedollish, then should I be concerned?

 

I guess the same question applies to the men as well?

[cari and mar 45]

I do have a question - again we are totally new and have not experienced or ventured out into this lifestyle yet. In general, are the ladies all fit and in good shape? Mr. Lolagirl says I could put ladies half my age to shame, and I do have a shapely body and pretty face but I'm by no means perfect in any way. I'm just curious as to the type of women who have fun? Are all shapes and sizes out there? I want to be attractive to other men (and women) but if everyone is Barbiedollish, then should I be concerned?

 

I guess the same question applies to the men as well?

Howdy Lolagirl,

 

The composition of swinging community is no different than society at large... there are barbies and there are BBW, and most everyone else falls somewhere between. There is definitely something for everyone. Sometimes the club you visit, or the site you sign up for doesn't match your tastes, but in general, it is no exaggeration to say there is EVERYTHING out there.

 

Long story short, no, there is absolutely no reason to be concerned. At all.

[adultfun6972 15]

feeling attractive yourself, makes you attractive. people come together , not to judge but to have fun. the people that are looking to have fun, are looking for others that are mentally arousing, confident, and not ashamed of themselves. a happy person is an attractive person.

[lolagirl 15]

Thank you both so much for your response. I agree, if you're happy in your own skin, that's all that matters. I feel more confident now. I can't wait for our first adventure to the club. I'll post once we go. I'm really looking forward to it but with no expectations. Justing going will be fun in itself.

[Drkknight 15]

I do have a question - again we are totally new and have not experienced or ventured out into this lifestyle yet. In general, are the ladies all fit and in good shape? Mr. Lolagirl says I could put ladies half my age to shame, and I do have a shapely body and pretty face but I'm by no means perfect in any way. I'm just curious as to the type of women who have fun? Are all shapes and sizes out there? I want to be attractive to other men (and women) but if everyone is Barbiedollish, then should I be concerned?

 

I guess the same question applies to the men as well?

 

It takes all kinds. I have been in situations with all types of people, some in shape, some not. It's really about the energy you put into it. If you are comfortable with your body I'm sure your playmates will be as well. Relax....enjoy yourself, and if you are ever in DC................

[arvcpl 16]

Swinging is not like Hollywood porn movies. If you have ever seen any real human beings before, that is what you will encounter in swinging.

 

There are all types of people at clubs ranging from the beautifull to the hideous. Some you will find attractive and many you will not. Some will find you attractive and some will not.

 

Our experience is that most women are accepted for sexual purposes but most men are not. When it comes to noncommitted recreational sex, men are not picky but women are. It is your husband that should be worried and should be the one getting the make-over and hitting the gym.

[MrkLin 393]

In general, are the ladies all fit and in good shape?

 

In a word - no.

 

I guess the same question applies to the men as well?

 

In another word - nope.

 

As everyone else has said, swingers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions, political leanings, economic backgrounds...

 

Next time you walk into any business, whether it be a store, doctor's office, or any other business, look around you and check out the people there. That's what swingers look like - everyday people. They are, after all, everyday people when they're not swinging...

[fun4Ds 1,098]

As with anything in life, the advertisements are misleading.

 

A sandwich never looks like the picture on the menu, but their still tasty

 

 

 

Sorry, I'm starving at the moment and horny. I'm confused again

[LFM2 1,482]

Sorry, I'm starving at the moment and horny. I'm confused again

 

I needed this morning laugh!!

[LFM2 1,482]

If you go shopping at your local mall, you'll get a good idea of the types of people you would meet up at a swingers club. At our meet & greets, there are various sizes of men and women. Some are large, some are small, most are in between and everyone has fun.

[dnmnms 55]

This has been one of my biggest worries in the LS.

Having lost over 100 pounds to get healthy I am very insecure when it comes time to shed the clothes.

 

But, I have found that others are alot less judgemental than I am on myself.

As others have said....there are all kinds of shapes out there. Just be confident and have fun.

 

Melody

[NCfuncouple98 367]

But, I have found that others are alot less judgemental than I am on myself.

 

I think this is very true for a lot of us. We see every little imperfection or something about our bodies we don't like. Others don't. We've seen all shapes and sizes get naked at an on-premise club. Does it still intimidate me to see a drop-dead gorgeous woman with (what I see as) no imperfections near me?

 

Some will be attracted to you, some won't be. Enjoy the ones that are, and forget about the ones that aren't.

 

Mrs. NC

[shymxcpl 71]

Reading the responses I think I must object.... I have to disagree because although there are all types of people in the LS, I have found that generally swingers tend to be a little more self conscious of their bodies than people at the mall. I mean lets face it... at some point we're going to be in a pool or beach or club naked and with people around us so we stop being complacent and comfortable and we at least make a small effort to look as best we can.

 

I'm not saying that everyone at the clubs are Brad and Angelina types, but I am saying that I think that everyone tries their best or SHOULD try their best to look good.

 

I do agree however that the best thing you can do to improve you appearance is to carry around your self confidence. A woman that feels pretty, looks pretty... just don't over do it.

 

I've always seen swinging as a kind of continued dating after you've found that special someone who you want to be with for the rest of your life. Now if you think about it that way, remember when you were dating? Same thing.

 

As for guys... I read a blog post where the male half of the couple was ranting about how sometimes we men let go because we have a beautiful and fit partner. They use the assumption "If they want to play with her they'll have to play with me". It was very interesting since this is exactly what happens in the taking one for the team scenario. Anyway he, on behalf of all ladies, kindly asks all men in the LS to get with the program and do their best to look presentable. I thought it was very interesting and TRUE.

[MrkLin 393]

Reading the responses I think I must object.... I have to disagree because although there are all types of people in the LS, I have found that generally swingers tend to be a little more self conscious of their bodies than people at the mall. I mean lets face it... at some point we're going to be in a pool or beach or club naked and with people around us so we stop being complacent and comfortable and we at least make a small effort to look as best we can.

 

I'm not saying that everyone at the clubs are Brad and Angelina types, but I am saying that I think that everyone tries their best or SHOULD try their best to look good.

 

I won't argue with this part of your post because for the most part I agree with it. My reference to going into any business, or the mall for that matter, was to point out that swingers are just ordinary people that you see every day in vanilla life, and look virtually identical to the folks you'll find just about anywhere. The folks you find at a swinger's club or party will be a cross section of the population - just like folks at the mall. That's all I meant

 

True - when we're out for a night at the club or going to a party, we do want to look good, and we take some extra time 'sprucing up,' as it were. And yes, we do tend to be a bit more self-critical than most vanilla people - but think about it - we're probably going to be naked in front of others, whereas most vanillas won't. Being self conscious in that context is understandable.

 

My entire point was that sometimes we tend to make more out of it than it really is. It's easy to get so caught up in what we perceive as a physical flaw that we just can't let go and have fun - especially when it's something that isn't really a flaw at all. I'm not saying that we should just let ourselves go and tell people to deal with it - I'm saying that we don't have to put such unneeded pressure on ourselves to conform to what others might consider to be 'fit.' Some of us will never be a size 2 - well, big fat hairy deal. It's more about the total package than any one piece. Yes, a size 2 may initially turn more heads, but everyone who has been to a club has seen a size 2 'strike out' while a size 22 is having an absolute blast. At the end of the day attractiveness is all subjective anyway - you will be attractive to some, and not attractive to others. Whether you're a size 2 or a size 22 has little bearing on that fact.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Having been in the lifestyle a little while and volunteering to help out at the local club. I have had a very small opportunity to take phone calls if the owners were busy with something else at the moment. Most of the time it was just giving directions and answering a few basic questions. I had a guy call and ask if there were any pretty women there that night. My wife was standing right by me and I said yes they are all very good looking. It was his tone and attitude that ended the conversation very quickly.

[shymxcpl 71]

My entire point was that sometimes we tend to make more out of it than it really is. It's easy to get so caught up in what we perceive as a physical flaw that we just can't let go and have fun - especially when it's something that isn't really a flaw at all.

 

AMEN TO THAT! This is totally true. That's why I think most of us agree that the most important step towards looking good is feeling good about yourself.

 

I myself, know I'm not perfect... but with the right mood lighting (if not candle light)...

 

The point IS to have fun and not worry too much about the little unimportant things like if swinging ladies are fit. There are people who are fun to be around and then there are people who aren't, and fitness has got nothing to do with that.

[Jeok 3]

It is my observation that women involved in the Swinging Lifestyle do take better care of themselves and their appearance. It doesn't really matter what size they are, they just highlight themselves by being more alluring in all aspects. Maybe it is the confidence that they are attractive and desireable to others than their SOs. Whatever it is, makes them like Harry Mudd's women on the original Star Trek. The ancient name for it is "Glamour" and thought to be magical, which it is. I've seen dumpy housewives become alluring sirens after having their first swinging encounter ... and forever after. IMHO Thank You For Your Indulgence

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

No one is perfect, Lolagirl As others said, swingers are just like everyone else, there are fat swingers, skinny swingers and everything in between. The key is that you are comfortable in your own body.

[Powerglide 235]

While there are certainly exceptions, it's my impression that men in the lifestyle are not very concerned with looks. If a lady is fun to be with and likes sex, most guys are delighted to spend time with her. I might add that I think that the ladies are not too terribly concerned about looks either, which is lucky for me. As soon as you see what everyone else looks like, you'll realize that you can relax and just have fun.

[Chicup 42]

This is an old thread but it is an important topic and not for the usual self affirmations about personal attractiveness.

 

It's all location location location. I think many people get turned off from swinging as either being too pretty or too ugly based on their first event.

 

The problem is that the event itself may determine the looks of the crowd. We are on two add websites and have been to two multi-day events this year. In both websites and events we were/are at the opposite ends of the looks spectrum.

 

At one event we were, despite being 40ish thought of as the young crowd where the few younger couples actively complained how old and unattractive the majority was. At another we were in the C list where half the men had 6 pack abs, the women had flat stomaches and the silicone was plentiful.

 

First event would have been a turn off and we would have said swingers were all old and out of shape.

 

Second event we would have said swingers are way to good looking and we can't compete as an average couple.

 

Location location location.

[josmonkey80 15]

the best way to look at it is.. look at the general population... some are fit, some are heavier and most are in-between.. people of all shapes and sizes swing, and often is in the slightly older crowd...

[StewartP 171]

I have to say, that in general, the women are in better shape than the men, especially in the over 40's.

 

C'mon guys, lose a few kilos and get jogging, it'll make you fitter and hotter and more shaggable!

[DigginIt 1,132]

C'mon guys, lose a few kilos and get jogging, it'll make you fitter and hotter and more shaggable!

 

In america we say "get off yer fat ass!"

[LovesHisMusic 15]

I honestly don't know the answer to this question, but I the thought crosses my mind ... are all men in the lifestyle well endowed? Does it matter? I would be more attracted to a woman, man, couple, who I could laugh with, have fun with, and enjoy time with. If I am thinking about my tummy pooch (which I earned, thank you! ), then I am not having fun and why bother? Life is way too short to worry about those you don't impress. Can't make 'em all happy, now can we? Besides, a fine mind is more pleasurable, for me anyway, than a flat tummy. Just sayin.

[Agile_Galaxo 117]

I do have a question - again we are totally new and have not experienced or ventured out into this lifestyle yet. In general, are the ladies all fit and in good shape?

 

My wife is a yummy bar. Delicious. Sensuous. Glorious.

[celtic239 297]

I believe the real key question of the original post was "will I be attractive to other men". My wife and I both hit the gym on a regular basis for allegedly health/fitness reasons. Truth be told one of the main reasons we both started going to the gym was to look good for swingers events. However "looks" are just one part of "attraction". A person could have a killer body but the personality of Attila the Hun so we would certainly pass on them.

As others have posted, the same body types you encounter in your daily life you will see in the LS. Are we attracted to certain body types more then others, absolutely. But that is only the first step for us.

[Just Passing By 140]

Swingers , like Naturists come in all shapes and sizes. Neither type of gathering resembles a porn set.

 

Going with the stereotype/ averages , since swinging spectrum activities generally involve couples with signifigent time together, and maturity in both their relationship and life experiences , they will skew older than typical singles bar.

 

Some people will express an intrest in only very attractive/ model quality. Some people are open to a wide range of physical types. Some people prefer the BBWs / beefy guys.

 

Once again self confidence , personalities that mesh, and sexual enthusiasm of agreeable flavor individually and combined are more important.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

First event would have been a turn off and we would have said swingers were all old and out of shape.

 

Second event we would have said swingers are way to good looking and we can't compete as an average couple.

 

Location location location.

 

This is a good observation. While generally the attendees at the events we've been to over the years have been broad in the attractiveness spectrum, there have been enough that have skewed hard enough one way or the other for us to see this variance and how it would affect a person's first impression of swinging.

 

In keeping with the saying "Swingers look like the people in PTA meetings", I guess some PTAs are hotter than others.

[sexywetwife 15]

I am not in shape, but wouldnt consider myself a BBW...

 

I like women of all shapes and sizes, hubby likes the women with a bit of meat on them.

 

If the chemistry is there, we dont care