Guy in a couple is "afraid" of breast milk?

[militarycouple 15]

My husband and I are looking to finally get back into the "swing" of things, lol. We've been out of the game for a year now and we really miss it. There's a woman that we've both been interested in since she got to this station. She was single for a bit, but now she's dating one of hubby's friends. It doesn't seem like anything too serious though...still the type of relationship that they might do other things. So anyway, we're thinking of inviting them over for BBQ next weekend, having a few drinks and seeing where things go. We're pretty sure the woman is interested in me (she's bisexual) and the guy is, well, your typical guy :P

 

So here's the thing. I just gave birth 5 weeks ago and I'm breastfeeding. Through some random conversation while I was still pregnant, hubby found out that his friend is "freaked out" by breast milk. Kinda weird, in my opinion.

 

Well, the point is, there's really no way to get the woman here without him as her attachment, but we're fine with that. But I'm afraid that he won't be up for things if he realizes I'm full of breast milk. And of course, that would probably ruin chances of doing anything with the woman. So, obviously, I'm not going to mention things, and maybe it'll be fine.

 

But in the event that it does come up... anyone have any suggestions on what I can say or do to keep things going? We REALLY want to have some fun with some other people, and I am looking forward to this coming weekend and some liberation, y'know? So, any and all advice is welcome please!!!

[TNT 1,155]

So here's the thing. I just gave birth 5 weeks ago and I'm breastfeeding.

 

Question...was the 5 weeks a mistype and suppose to be 5 months?

 

If it really has been only 5 weeks since you gave birth and you're breast feeding, where the hell are you getting the energy to even think about getting back into swinging so soon?

[PB&J 1,086]

I'm amazed that you're actually up for sex, let alone swinging sex, 5 weeks after giving birth! What guarantee do you have that any fun would not be interrupted by the baby waking up and wanting to be fed? At five weeks, I know that mine were waking up every few hours. That would be more of a concern for me than whether the guy was turned off by breastmilk or not.

[lizandtom 512]

imho just have them over and see where things lead with no expectations. We visited friends out of state last weekend. The woman had given birth about 7 months ago and was lactating although done breastfeeding. She was self-conscious about it, but fears were allayed after we got into it and it wasn't any big deal.

[N8ture Girl 318]

Through some random conversation while I was still pregnant, hubby found out that his friend is "freaked out" by breast milk. Kinda weird, in my opinion.

 

I might be the minority here, but I as a woman think I would have a issue with breast milk too. I can't say for sure cause I have never had to deal with it. But if I was playing with a woman and was in the moment and saw or tasted that...I'd gag. I don't think it is weird, it is obviously a genuine "ick" factor for some.

[militarycouple 15]

No, the 5 weeks is not a typo. I have a high libido :P But anyway, even though I'm breastfeeding, I bought a breast pump so that I can have a night out every once in awhile (leaving the baby with a sitter). I'm not self-conscious about my breast milk, but I don't want to ruin a moment by grossing someone else out, y'know? So that's one person that agrees with him about breast milk, and one saying just go with the flow...no pun intended. Anyone else?

[Cpl2share 147]

I have never tasted anything better than breast milk! But then I am a perv, LOL. Warn them and then go from there. You never know, she may like it. When I read the Swingers Handbook I don't remember it saying that there has to be breast play. Keep mouths and hands occupied elsewhere and you are good to go. For us: We would love the chance to play with a lactating lady.

[CXXC 435]

Express as much of the breast milk as you can before your playmates arrive. If you have a couple hours of delay before you play, excuse yourself and express the liquid again. Do not do this in front of your potential playmates as this is a turn off for the guy.

 

Also, you need to make certain that they are aware that you are still lactating and that even though you have expressed as much as you can at the time, there still may be some leakage during play.

 

It is each person’s responsibility to be honest and up front with potential playmates. You know that breast milk gives this guy the willies. He should be given the courtesy of knowing that you are lactating and that you have done everything in your power to stop the flow while playing.

 

Yes, there is nothing in the book that says breasts MUST be played with or sucked while playing. If that is your desire, you must do all you can to eliminate the possibility of expression during play.

 

Everyone must be comfortable when playing. So, make them comfy and have a great time.

[PB&J 1,086]

Actually, here's a non-breastmilk question... are these people swingers? Or are you hoping to convert them? That's a whole different issue.

[NotSorry 155]

I don't understand the squeamishness about breast milk, but that's just me.

 

My advice is to express beforehand and wear a sexy bra to catch any leaks. Add some nursing pads in there if you think you need more absorbency.

 

Six weeks before having vaginal intercourse is recommended but I remember trying much before that. Three weeks I think it was... I was a little sore though.

[militarycouple 15]

Express as much of the breast milk as you can before your playmates arrive.

 

Also, you need to make certain that they are aware that you are still lactating and that even though you have expressed as much as you can at the time, there still may be some leakage during play.

 

It is each person’s responsibility to be honest and up front with potential playmates. You know that breast milk gives this guy the willies. He should be given the courtesy of knowing that you are lactating and that you have done everything in your power to stop the flow while playing.

I hadn't thought of expressing before hand. That's actually a pretty good idea. And yes, I do agree that honesty is important. I don't intend to lie to him, and with these options I didn't think of, I think I can probably make him feel more comfortable about it anyway.

 

My advice is to express beforehand and wear a sexy bra to catch any leaks. Add some nursing pads in there if you think you need more absorbency.

Six weeks before having vaginal intercourse is recommended but I remember trying much before that. Three weeks I think it was... I was a little sore though.

Actually, wearing a bra is a great idea! For some reason, I forgot I could just leave my bra on ^_^; I guess I could just do that, and if breast play becomes an option, no prob. Also, I've been having sex with hubby since 4 weeks without any problems. But by next weekend, I will be 6 weeks, so I feel prepared for a full night of fun and games.

 

Actually, here's a non-breastmilk question... are these people swingers? Or are you hoping to convert them? That's a whole different issue.

Well, the couple in question actually hooked up at a party the guy threw that turned into a "No-pants" party. I don't know all the details, but I do know there was a lot of sex between a lot of single people. So I know they don't have a problem with parties that turn into more. The woman in the couple is already into us, and we've just been looking for a good opportunity to play with her, and while this isn't the ideal (just her), this does work for us. Basically, there are no real expectations of them to do anything with us, just the invitation. So, we're not really looking to convert them, but if all goes well and we all have a good time, why not continue?

 

Thanks for all the advice guys

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I think you also should consider how this new guy values or at least understands your relationship. That seems to be a pretty big misconception in the vanilla single world. Its one of the serious matters we take a good look at and have actually learned from singles, especially young single males. Most, don't have a clue. What about that issue? I mean allot of guys talk. You think they didn't talk and compare notes after the party? I'm quite sure they did. Who puts out and who don't and then there are bragging rights.

 

So how about your discretion after? Allot of guys think because we are swingers our wives are easy lays, when in fact its quite the opposite. But still, it is one of those misconceptions. I hope you are not so excited about the girl you overlook the guy here. I mean, it seems even though he is "freaked out" about breast milk, you are kind of throwing him under the buss to get to her. That's just how it kinda sounded.

 

Personally breast milk isn't an issue with either of us, but not everyone feels the same. What if he is out and about telling his buddies its gross and you didn't care enough to consider his feelings. I think you should get a serious feel for how he feels and at least have a mutual trust and comfort here.

[militarycouple 15]

Well, to be honest, I'm probably not being fair to the guy. I've never had much of an interest in him, but am putting aside my feelings about him in the hopes to have some fun next weekend. I guess I'm just putting him in the category of guys who should "consider themselves lucky" to get in on some foursome action. I think it's just that I've missed swinging so much, and so has hubby, and I'm so eager to jump in that I'm not really doing the things I normally would. *sigh* Maybe we ought not try to pursue this, and just continue trying to find a couple around here that is definitely into the lifestyle.

[sexcupid 809]

Well, to be honest, I'm probably not being fair to the guy. I guess I'm just putting him in the category of guys who should "consider themselves lucky" to get in on some foursome action. Maybe we ought not try to pursue this, and just continue trying to find a couple around here that is definitely into the lifestyle.

 

You aren't being fair to the guy...and the mercy fuck vibe will probably come thru loud and clear, that is if you even pay the poor schmuck any attention once the other lady is naked.

 

You are 5-6 weeks post-partum...fuck your hubby stupid and keep on looking for a lifestyle couple. Who knows, one of these days the lady and this guy might call things off if they aren't particularly serious and there may still be an opportunity there for a future time.

 

I think fun4ds hit some very good points, you are basically disregarding this guy's feelings to get what you want (breast milk is natural and leakage can happen particularly when excited, even if you have pumped before). I think it's less about the breast milk and more about trying to justify why you would go ahead when you know someone is uncomfortable. Some of it might be the guy just doesn't understand how lactation works (that it's not necessarily a free flowing tap at all times)....or on the flip side one might think he is interested in it (I mean...unless your hubby was putting out feelers with the guy or just mentioned in conversation that you were breastfeeding...lactation is not a topic that I would consider common among men ), but doesn't feel it's socially acceptable to walk up to some guy with a lactating wife and ask to take a sip.

 

What if another couple was doing this to you and your hubby (the plotting...I mean basically in your last post you state the guy would be 'lucky' to get into a 4some...so you want back in so badly that you do a take one for the team?)?

[Alura 2,774]

When our older son was several days old, curiosity got the best of me and I sampled his dinner. Later I had the most painful abdominal cramps I've ever experienced. I doubt the two were connected but the kids never had to worry about Dad stealing their sustenance again.

 

Mr. Alura

[junkyard38 21]

I have never tasted anything better than breast milk! But then I am a perv, LOL. warn them and then go from there. You never know, she may like it. When I read the Swingers Handbook I don't remember it saying that there has to be breast play. keep mouths and hands occupoed elsewhere and you are good to go. For us: We would love the chance to play with a lactating lady.

 

Please put me in line for the opportunity for a night of play. Looking for the opportunity to enjoy the breast milk from a play partner.

[militarycouple 15]

You are 5-6 weeks post-partum...fuck your hubby stupid and keep on looking for a lifestyle couple.

 

....or on the flip side one might think he is interested in it (I mean...unless your hubby was putting out feelers with the guy or just mentioned in conversation that you were breastfeeing...lactation is not a topic that I would consider common among men ), but doesn't feel it's socially acceptable to walk up to some guy with a lactating wife and ask to take a sip.

 

What if another couple was doing this to you and your hubby (the plotting...I mean basically in your last post you state the guy would be 'lucky' to get into a 4some...so you want back in so badly that you do a take one for the team?)?

 

Yeah, the problem with fucking hubby stupid is that...well, he can't always keep up with my drive. That's one of the reasons swinging works so well for us. And part of the reason we are so eager to get back to it. I guess the real question is, how do we find others who'll swing when we're living in base housing, it's not exactly legal in the military, and the rest of the people around us don't speak our language? o_O

 

The reason they were talking about breast milk is because they (a bunch of my hubby's friends) were talking about me being pregnant, conversation gravitated towards breastfeeding, and another friend told them about a time when he helped out a breastfeeding friend who couldn't get home and forgot her pump, was quite engorged and hurting, and he helped her out by draining her :P (personally, that story turns me on when I hear it)

 

You're right, I definitely wouldn't feel good knowing I'd been "plotted" about, but as I've already decided this probably isn't the best idea (though it's no reason to cancel the BBQ among friends), I'm done trying to figure out reasons to do this. And yeah, who knows where their relationship will go in the future, so we may still get an opportunity with her yet.

[JTcamp05 9]

In my opinion I think you will find more people turned on by breast milk then turned off... I wouldn't let it slow you down a bit!!

[scott17201 15]

I would love to be with a woman who was lactating. I find it to be hot. I'd love to try it.

[lizandtom 512]

We had such an experience about 3 weeks ago while stopping in to visit some friends in SC. The other woman had given birth about 9 months ago. I've never had any kind of pregnant woman fetish. We got into play, separate rooms within a hotel suite, and she had her bra on still and when I started groping around, I found breast milk coming out. She was embarrassed but I told her it was sexy. It actually worked as quite the body rub and after mouthing her breasts, it was very sweet, almost like milk with a lot of sugar mixed in; very unexpected. Nothing to be afraid of.

[Hellsgate 15]

I'd be all for it. I'd barely be able to contain my excitement though. It is incredibly erotic.

[sexylady1970 69]

People are freaked out about a lot of things. Personally, I am squeamish about bugs, heights, and snakes (yep this is the mr. LOL). If you really want to play and he is squeamish about breast milk, just keep a bra on (well padded if you want) and forget about breast play for a while.

 

IMHO...no biggie. Just make it a rule while you play temporarily.

[Hellsgate 15]

I'd be honored to latch-on & help the wife express *and* climax as often as she's comfortable doing so -- yes, even while lactating. Unfortunately, there's no sexy swinger housewives/couples here that are comfortable hitting on me.

[Rackir 159]

As for the lactation issue, I'm in the "no thanks" camp. Works for some, but kinda icks me out. That's why it's nice that there are so many people around though, there's about 1000 someone's for everyone!