Back after 9 years, the atmosphere has changed

[SnBinDFWtx 15]

My wife and I stopped going out after I got her pregnant. 9 years later, we've been going out to the club we enjoyed before. Still a great place, lots of fun.

 

Before we used to go out with a group of couples, almost twice a month. Was a LOT of fun. We had hopes to find a similar group when we started going out again. Really hard though finding people who really use chats and really go out. Which is how we found the group years ago.

 

There are a few old friends & staff at the club we know from before, but we've noticed it's a tough crowd now. We've been going pretty regularly now and figured a few would be a little more receptive that we've seen before. I get some pretty cold reactions though, even when I'm just saying hello.

 

I approach socially friendly and polite. Introductions and small talk. I look for some flirty responses of interest from women. B, my wife, enjoys mingling and has gotten plenty of attention from some single men. She's noticed cold reactions as well from couples. We will see what happens. Perhaps the ice will break soon. lol

I'm not sure if it's people having unrealistically high expectations or

[MrkLin 393]

Perhaps the ice will break soon. lol

I'm not sure if it's people having unrealistically high expectations or

 

I think it's more a case of people just not knowing you. You used to go to this club, so I'm sure you noticed a lot of 'one-timers' floating in and out. You'd see them once, then never see them again. Well, folks don't know you. To them you might be one-timers. If it were me, I'd keep going back. The more they see you there, the more familiar you are, the more likely folks will warm up to you.

 

Oh - and welcome back to the LS.

[toycple 19]

My wife and I stopped going out after I got her pregnant. 9 years later, we've been going out to the club we enjoyed before. Still a great place, lots of fun.

 

Before we used to go out with a group of couples, almost twice a month. Was a LOT of fun. We had hopes to find a similar group when we started going out again. Really hard though finding people who really use chats and really go out. Which is how we found the group years ago.

 

There are a few old friends & staff at the club we know from before, but we've noticed it's a tough crowd now. We've been going pretty regularly now and figured a few would be a little more receptive that we've seen before. I get some pretty cold reactions though, even when I'm just saying hello.

 

I approach socially friendly and polite. Introductions and small talk. I look for some flirty responses of interest from women. B, my wife, enjoys mingling and has gotten plenty of attention from some single men. She's noticed cold reactions as well from couples. We will see what happens. Perhaps the ice will break soon. lol

I'm not sure if it's people having unrealistically high expectations or

 

If you don't mind me asking, what club are youo going to?

[SnBinDFWtx 15]

Oh we are going regardless of whether or not we meet someone to have fun there or not.

 

We go out to have fun. If we find some other people we can share that with, all the better. If not, no big deal.

[SnBinDFWtx 15]

If you don't mind me asking, what club are youo going to?

 

We mostly go to Jet Set Club on Routh in Dallas. You can google it for web site.

 

Someone mentioned overly picky. I think there is one element. My wife finds me attractive. I've known a few women who agreed. Just seems to me that i'm not getting a far shake so to say.

 

I've read some extremely great books that the covers were a little shabby.

[toycple 19]

We mostly go to Jet Set Club on Routh in Dallas. You can google it for web site.

 

Someone mentioned overly picky. I think there is one element. My wife finds me attractive. I've known a few women who agreed. Just seems to me that i'm not getting a far shake so to say.

 

I've read some extremely great books that the covers were a little shabby.

 

Oh yeah, we know that club. We use to go there years ago. We just kinda lost interest in that club.

[Guest screaminggood]

There are quite a few choices in Dallas so I think it's just a matter of finding the place you feel most comfortable.

[Guest tnatx]

Welcome back!!!

 

As for the local scene, it took us a while to find the right place for us to feel comfortable, but we still like going out to check new placed out. I agree with Screaming, it is just a matter of finding the right club.

[iapr 24]

I think it's more a case of people just not knowing you. You used to go to this club, so I'm sure you noticed a lot of 'one-timers' floating in and out. You'd see them once, then never see them again. Well, folks don't know you. To them you might be one-timers. If it were me, I'd keep going back. The more they see you there, the more familiar you are, the more likely folks will warm up to you.

 

Oh - and welcome back to the LS.

 

I agree with this and will also add that you have been gone for 9 years! Did you really think you would walk in and it would be old home week? Sure some people may have been glad to see you again but you have been gone for 9 years, time goes on and people move on.

 

I think every time you go out you are hitting the reset button and it is a brand new day. You are essentially starting over. You are going to have to make some new friends and look for some new connections. It probably wasn't easy when you first started out years ago and it isn't necessarily going to be easy now either. If it were easy this board and others like it wouldn't exist.

 

I don't mean to be all doom and gloom though as there is some good news here. the good news is that it is a new day and the world is ripe with new possibilities. Don't yearn for yesterday, go out and live for today and tomorrow.

[SnBinDFWtx 15]

Oh no. We did not expect things to be just as they were when we chose to take a break. Please note, I did state that we have been going out regularly to this place for a couple of months now. Since last November. So please don't assume. *wink*

 

What we anticipated, was we'd have to be seen regularly for at least a month. Also, don't think we are expecting the lustful activities immediately either. Especially with on premise places like the Cherry Pit making the local news. What I'm talking about is simply hanging out and enjoying the party.

 

A whole lot is different with the online sites, which I find disappointing. So we pretty much haven't been looking online. Even this forum, I didn't really give it a fair shake till this passed week after doing some serious reading.

 

My wife is the impatient one generally, but this thread wasn't meant to provoke. It was initially my response to the question about men approaching a woman or a couple in a club environment.

 

A friend of ours at this club told us statistically, a couple will only play on average for 5 years. We didn't really want to stop at the time. Now we're back and hoping to find some experiences that are as enjoyable or more so than before.

[Chicup 42]

I'm not sure if it's people having unrealistically high expectations or

 

I've read some extremely great books that the covers were a little shabby.

 

How much have you changed physically over those 9 years and what are the ages at the club?

 

The impression I get is you are not the man you once were physically. I know I was in naturally better shape 9 years ago, and I'm trying to say in good shape to stay in 'swinging form'.

 

When we get the cold shoulder from couples its not our conversation skills they are rebuffing but odds are they don't find us attractive to them. I'm going to guess thats your problem too.

 

To me the solution is obvious, as much as I find lifting heavy things repetitively a complete bore.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

Someone mentioned overly picky. I think there is one element. My wife finds me attractive. I've known a few women who agreed. Just seems to me that i'm not getting a far shake so to say.

When I read this I was ready to post as Chicup did. So instead of repeating him, I'll add to his comments.

 

If you feel you're getting "cold reactions" it's probably because the people you're approaching are not interested, for whatever reason.

 

Are you approaching the same type of couples and women that you did 9 years ago? If you are, they may not be the right audience anymore. Are you looking for people that are in an older age group now (since you're older)?

 

I think it is common for us to think of ourselves as we did when we dropped out of "the scene" years ago - whatever that scene might be - and when we jump back in we still feel/see ourselves as we were back then. It can take some readjusting, and sometimes that isn't fun because we have to face ourselves in the mirror and see what others see today...we've changed.

 

Evaluate the differences in what you and your wife were like and looked like 9 years ago and what you are today. That may help you find a way to get back in the groove of swinging again and find people warming to you.

 

Good luck!

 

LM

[cari and mar 45]

<...>A friend of ours at this club told us statistically, a couple will only play on average for 5 years. We didn't really want to stop at the time. Now we're back and hoping to find some experiences that are as enjoyable or more so than before.

Interesting stat. I can't help but suspect that, like 93% of all statistics, the "play on average for 5 years" number is made up. Even still, I could see how that would end up being the attention span of a couple. Get in, get a few experiences, perhaps run across one or two bad experiences, and then call it quits.

 

Or not :-)

[linda smith 15]

at the club i go to,ive noticed that poeple tend to stick with there own crown/freinds & arent very freindly to others or newcomers,ive also realized that if u are fat old or ugly nobody cares to say hello & if ur are a drop dead gorgeous women, all the guys get hardons & the wives get jealous & start giving me dirty looks,i honestly tought poeple in the lifestyle were alot more freindly,they all walk aruond (men & couples}the club like {preditors scouting} for single young thin beautifull women....ive met more freindly poeple at a regular dance club.....honestly

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

at the club i go to,ive noticed that poeple tend to stick with there own crown/freinds & arent very freindly to others or newcomers

Methinks, Ms. Smith, you are hanging around the wrong place with the wrong people. Look around. There are three clubs within easy driving distance of our home and all are very accommodating to newcomers. There must be a better place near where you live.

 

~Michael