Why are people so hesitant to be surgically safe?

[prometheius 137]

I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe. N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older. I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen. Condoms don’t always work, and most people say that they don’t like using them since it does change the sensations felt or not felt. To further my opinion on this matter, sterilization is much less expensive and uncomfortable for the men than the women.

 

When we got into swinging, we didn’t think about the fact that we were going to have to spend thousands (literally), on having the Mrs. fixed so she could enjoy herself without that concern hanging over her head. We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of. Fortunately, that will soon no longer be an issue for us.

 

I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

We have talked for years about Mr. NC being V-Safe. Swinging has now brought it back up to the forefront. Right now it's just a matter of scheduling. Unfortunately he doesn't have much for vacation time, and being a mechanic, he can't exactly go back to "normal" work too quickly.

 

As for me, we wanted my tubes tied when our daughter was born almost 9 years ago, but they wouldn't do it after her birth, wanted me to heal for 6 weeks then come back. Mr. NC just wouldn't hear of me having to heal just to go through another procedure. So we've just never done it. It wasn't that big of a deal for us, until now.

 

We are hoping to both be surgically safe within a year, if all goes as planned. Right now it all comes down to scheduling the time off, and coming up with the $ that our lousy health insurance doesn't cover.

[prometheius 137]

For Mr. NC, have it done on a Friday and he should be able to return to work on Monday as long as he doesn't strain himself. Your recovery time would be much longer.

 

Our health insurance isn't much help either as we expect to have to pay for most of her procedure since our deductible is not yet met. I was fortunate to have my chords clipped back when I had good coverage and it cost me nothing. Even so, male sterilization is by far cheaper. Best wishes for you both!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

My wife has been fixed for years for health reasons. Being safe for me is an unnecessary surgery. There are other alternatives to being safe with swing partners.

 

With all that said now, before April of last year it could have been a possibility to have the surgery. After April, because of being on blood thinners (for the rest of my life), I am avoiding any surgery if possible. Don't need the risk. The zipper cut was enough:lol:

[N8ture Girl 318]

BiloxiCouple said:

My wife has been fixed for years for health reasons. Being safe for me is an unnecessary surgery. There are other alternatives to being safe with swing partners.

 

That is a typical comment. However other than not having sex, surgically safe is as close to 100% effective as you can get. No other method has that kind of reliability.

I do realize that you are in a greater risk group for complications and would never suggest you go under the knife, but what would you do if that condom breaks and a few months later you get that dreaded e-mail or phone call that your gonna be a daddy?

 

Just trying to generate some discussion on the topic of how men feel about getting a vasectomy. There seems to be more women that are surgically safe then men. Why do men fear it so? Do you think I am not scared to have my tubes tied? Well to be honest, I am terrified, after all they have to put me to sleep to do it, you men just get a local, then snip, snip and 30 minutes later you go home.

[slevin 1,374]

And then there are lots of people who either want to have kids in the near future, or want the possibility of having kids to still be on the table

[rpu3 630]

N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older.

 

For some of us, it's a personal choice, and not a matter of "what are you waiting for?"

 

For me, it's as simple as I choose not to. My life, my options, my body, my choice. There are non-invasive and/or non-surgical ways to manage birth control and that's the method I've chosen. I figure men have the same right to choose, even if it's less invasive, etc.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen.

It is each individual's responsibility to themselves to do what they feel necessary to not become pregnant, not someone else's responsibility.

 

I cannot be upset with a man who chooses not to get snipped. But I CAN choose not to swing with him if I feel it's too much risk for me. It is my choice, my decision, and I would never feel someone else is ruining my fun or the options I have because they have chosen not to go the surgical route to keep themselves, and others, from becoming pregnant. If I were still menstruating, I'd have options I would take to protect myself from pregnancy. And one choice I would have is not to swing at all.

 

Fortunately, I was already past menopause when we began swinging. My husband was snipped 20 years ago when I got off birth control pills and we decided we didn't ever want to have children. If he hadn't been snipped back then, he would have before we started swinging, because he would feel it is his responsibility to keep himself from becoming a father.

 

LM

[BiloxiCouple 695]

That is a typical comment. However other than not having sex, surgically safe is as close to 100% effective as you can get. No other method has that kind of reliability.

I do realize that you are in a greater risk group for complications and would never suggest you go under the knife, but what would you do if that condom breaks and a few months later you get that dreaded e-mail or phone call that your gonna be a daddy?

 

Just trying to generate some discussion on the topic of how men feel about getting a vasectomy. There seems to be more women that are surgically safe then men. Why do men fear it so? Do you think I am not scared to have my tubes tied? Well to be honest, I am terrified, after all they have to put me to sleep to do it, you men just get a local, then snip, snip and 30 minutes later you go home.

 

To answer what is in bold... This is the blunt answer. I want no one getting near my nuts with a knife. One sneeze.....

 

You can do what if's all day. It's still not reality. I really dislike "what if" logic.

 

If someone isn't safe and you aren't comfortable with that for your situation then don't play with them. Not all situations require that someone be v-safe. My situation and life is different from others. I'll do it the way I want and they can do it the way they want and I'll find someone that is compatible with our chosen path.

[Guest MrsVan]

MrVan is V-safe but he made that decision a long time ago after him and his ex-wife had their 2 children. As for me, I go back and forth cause I guess for me I still want another child but in the same respect I know that it is not possible for us. I guess I am just afraid to give it up, just a piece of me that I am not ready to let go of.

 

However, now with the decision to have to do this for medical reasons makes me decide that it is better for me to do it now while I am young so that I can live a healthier life and not be so concerned with my health issues I am facing.

 

I think a lot of men are afraid to get it done as they do not want to go through the pain or have some one go there with a needle or whatever to get the procedure done.

 

MrsVan

[MrkLin 393]

Why do men fear it so? Do you think I am not scared to have my tubes tied? Well to be honest, I am terrified, after all they have to put me to sleep to do it, you men just get a local, then snip, snip and 30 minutes later you go home.

 

That about sums it up. I've been V-safe for close to 5 years now, and it was about the way you described it. The procedure took about 30 minutes, and was painless. I had a 'scalpel-free' vasectomy, and no knives came anywhere near 'the boys.' The recovery took me about a week, but I did spend a lot of time sitting up instead of laying down as my doctor recommended. I had it done on a Thursday, and was back to work on Monday (I had Fri, Sat, and Sun off at that time, so I missed one day of work - vacation time.) The total cost was about $600, and we paid it with our tax refund. (The twisted side of me finds that funny - I don't know why.)

 

I think men are afraid of it because they don't understand it. They don't remove anything 'vital.' They simply snip the 'supply line' of sperm cells. I have no sexual side-effects from the surgery. In fact, truth be told, there are fewer 'side effects' because I have that potential problem solved. I don't have that worry hovering over my head, and I can relax and enjoy the experience without worrying about a condom breaking or a missed pill.

 

Overall, it is a lot cheaper, less invasive, and just easier for the male to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to get a tubal ligation. Still, it's your choice. Lin had a tubal ligation done before we met, so she was already safe. I got the vasectomy done when it started to look like we were going to become a full-swap couple. I do think that if more men checked into it, they would change their minds about it. It's one week out of your lives guys, and they don't turn you into a eunuch. At least check it out.

[HornyCouple 15]

I had the big V many years ago and it was really no big deal at all. I am very surprised that more do not do it.

 

As for women having a procedure, it is more complicated and the reality is that it is the woman who gets pregnant not the man. What is it for somebody to lie or be wrong about be sperm free? Granted i would hope that anybody we play with we have determined we trust to play with bareback.

 

I personally believe most men will not do it because of the 'macho' attitude.

 

i will do anything i can to make playing with others easier and more stress free.

[WestValleyNewb 15]

I visited Doctor Snip Snip when my oldest was 3 and my youngest was 6 months old.

 

The 3-year-old did not understand why I could not take her to the park in the bike trailer. "Daddy has an owie in his tummy", I lied to her.

 

Maybe he says this to all his patients. But my doctor remarked that I had done a remarkably good job of shaving the areas he would be working on. I've just got done lurking on the "Ladies, do you like you men to shave down there?" thread and it's good to know that I can put that skill to use again.

 

My vasectomy was very clearly the best $20 I have ever spent.

 

The only problem was that the brochure that the doctor sent me before the operation said that "some discoloration" may occur in the affected area.

 

"Some discoloration"? Most of my scrotum turned a color half way between black and the color of the Minnesota Vikings' home uniforms for a couple of weeks. That was a bit frightening. But it went back to normal soon after that.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

I'm sorry but it is ABSOLUTELY your responsibility to make sure you don't get pregnant if you do not wish to become so! I am a woman, I am a human, I am responsible for my body, and no one else. I control what and WHOM goes into my body, and it's my job to keep MY body healthy and safe (not yours, not Speed's, not our swing partners).

 

It may be "unfair" that a man can ejaculate in a woman, impregnating her, then leave forever while she is "stuck" carrying and birthing the child, but you are aware of this fact of life. It is what it is. If we women don't want to be pregnant, it is our individual responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. Yeah, it sucks, right along with PMS and periods and yearly exams, but there it is.

 

I can ask if a man has had a vasectomy (and trust his answer), I can demand he wear a condom, I can tell him not to cum in me, I can get on birth control myself, I can NOT have sex with him.... hell, at least I have options! (BTW some options are better than others, I know...)

 

I would never ask a man "what are you waiting for?" or ask a man to go have surgery because I don't want a child. By extension, if a man ever asks me "if you don't want kids why don't you just get fixed?" or "why are you on the pill?" I will respond by saying "because that's what's right for me and my body." Personally, for me, I feel like being on the pill and insisting on condoms is just fine. Is there still a 0.00001% chance I could get pregnant, YES. But I am very comfortable with that level of risk, for me.

 

No one wants to be told what to do (or not do), especially when it comes to our bodies!

[prometheius 137]

No one wants to be told what to do (or not do), especially when it comes to our bodies!

 

Good golly, I didn't start this thread hoping to see it turn into this! Please, don't take every word I type so literally. My only hope was that all of you kind people would read my post and express your opinions on the gist of the topic.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe.

I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue.

 

I think it's the thread title that throws some to the defensive point of view. The title "why are people so hesitant". Well, some aren't hesitant, they just choose not to or have no desire to.

 

All in all, you are getting what you asked for, and it is very interesting to hear other peoples' views on the subject.

[prometheius 137]

All in all, you are getting what you asked for, and it is very interesting to hear other peoples' views on the subject.

 

I agree with you completely. It's all I hoped for:).

[N8ture Girl 318]

I'm sorry but it is ABSOLUTELY your responsibility to make sure you don't get pregnant if you do not wish to become so! I am a woman, I am a human, I am responsible for my body, and no one else. I control what and WHOM goes into my body, and it's my job to keep MY body healthy and safe (not yours, not Speed's, not our swing partners).

 

It may be "unfair" that a man can ejaculate in a woman, impregnating her, then leave forever while she is "stuck" carrying and birthing the child, but you are aware of this fact of life. It is what it is. If we women don't want to be pregnant, it is our individual responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. Yeah, it sucks, right along with PMS and periods and yearly exams, but there it is.

 

I can ask if a man has had a vasectomy (and trust his answer), I can demand he wear a condom, I can tell him not to cum in me, I can get on birth control myself, I can NOT have sex with him.... hell, at least I have options! (BTW some options are better than others, I know...)

 

I would never ask a man "what are you waiting for?" or ask a man to go have surgery because I don't want a child. By extension, if a man ever asks me "if you don't want kids why don't you just get fixed?" or "why are you on the pill?" I will respond by saying "because that's what's right for me and my body." Personally, for me, I feel like being on the pill and insisting on condoms is just fine. Is there still a 0.00001% chance I could get pregnant, YES. But I am very comfortable with that level of risk, for me.

 

No one wants to be told what to do (or not do), especially when it comes to our bodies!

 

Easy there Trixie. I have no clue as to where your hostility and how you think I (we) are asking someone to get fixed for our benefit. Who is telling who what to do?? We are clearly asking for peoples views on the said topic. What people do with their own bodies is their own choice. I am taking care of myself and getting fixed and hubby is already. I would never ask anyone to get fixed for my benefit. So help me understand.

 

I hope everyone will read the original post in the context for which it is written.

 

If a man doesn't want to get fixed, then that is his choice. That's not in dispute. The question is why. What are their legitimate concerns if any? I don't want to hear the cop-outs of "no one is taking my man-hood," or "it will reduce my ejaculate", or "it will hurt" or BS like that.These excuses are null and void and are nothing but myths. WE are all adults here, so I am hoping for a real discussion on the topic.

[Guest warrencouple]

Being a "fixed" man, I had some hesitancy when I was first looking into it. This is well before I and the Mrs ever even contemplated the possibility of the existence of swinging, much less swinging ourselves (and we still haven't, swung, that is)

 

But, she didn't want kids (*really* didn't want, and doesn't still, want kids), I'm OK if the kids are old enough to use the bathroom without someone holding their hand, otherwise I'm not a kid person (have declined holding newborn nieces / nephews, it makes me uncomfortable) So, I opted to get neutered.

 

I went for the no-scalpel surgery, took one initial visit with the Dr, then the surgery, and a follow up to a testing center (here's the cup, go home and fill it and bring it back within an hour) Got fixed on a Friday or Thursday (hey, it was almost 11 years ago!), was back to work on Monday (phone jockey, so no lifting / walking) No pain, no discoloration (bruising) Didn't even go for the general anesthetic, just a local, so I could drive myself home. She was able afterward to relax a lot more during sex, seeing as we no longer had to worry about the condom breaking.

 

As for why more guys don't get it done, I think it's in part, they use the word I did above for it, neutered. They think they'd be less of a "man" if they get fixed (this goes for men, period, not just lifestyle or vanilla) As for women, I think it's at least in part, the cost, and recovery time, and the fact that it is *far* more invasive.

 

Boy, took me a long time to get to the point of the thread, didn't it?

 

Jason

[prometheius 137]

 

Boy, took me a long time to get to the point of the thread, didn't it?

 

Jason

 

It took the "right" time!

[Speed & Trixie 163]

Sigh...I DO hate being misunderstood in type. I by no means intended to come across as hostile AT ALL. Please allow me to explain myself better (I hope)

 

 

Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for?

 

I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue

 

My opinion is: people don't address this issue (within a swinging-type setting) because it's a personal matter. I, personally, wouldn't talk to a swing partner about my reasons for doing anything with my body, be it my piercings or tattoos or surgeries. Frankly, it's none of their business WHY.

 

We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of.

 

If a man doesn't want to get fixed, then that is his choice. That is not in dispute. The question is why. What are their legitimate concerns if any? I don't want to hear the cop-outs of "no one is taking my man-hood," or "it will reduce my ejaculate", or "it will hurt" or BS like that.These excuses are null and void and are nothing but myths.

 

There are LOTS of legitimate concerns/ reasons not to undergo a voluntary medical procedure of any kind. Fear of pain, to me, is a legitimate concern (it seems you think this is a "cop-out" or BS answer?). I also happen to think fear of infection, botched surgery, scarring, loss of function, and lack of money/time/desire are all legitimate reasons. Yes, yes, it's a commonly performed thing and is probably one of the safer medical procedures, but if you want to know more on a very similar debate, check out the thread on circumcision! And, BTW, I do realize you are probably playing devil's advocate to generate discussion and make people think (so am I - hell, I think 90% of the population should be sterilized LOL).

 

:DTrixie

[slevin 1,374]

Why do I need an 'excuse'? It's not like everyone /should/ be getting a procedure like that done. Right now I sure as hell wouldn't even consider it because at some point we want to have kids, but even after we have kids I doubt that I will ever get it done. I don't see the need for getting it done, I'm not sure I have a specific reason. I hate doctors, hate doing anything medical that isn't absolutely required, hate taking medicine that I don't need to. When I have kidney stones I don't take any pain killers unless I can't stand the pain anymore lol.

[rpu3 630]

Good golly, I didn't start this thread hoping to see it turn into this! Please, don't take every word I type so literally. My only hope was that all of you kind people would read my post and express your opinions on the gist of the topic.

 

Easy there Trixie. I have no clue as to where your hostility and how you think I (we) are asking someone to get fixed for our benefit.

 

I'm not sure what is bad or hostile about any of these posts. Geez, it seemed like a rather level discussion about a VERY personal choice. The figure skating forum I hang out in is outright abusive if the strong opinions here are considered hostile. I hope others will continue to add to the discussion, no matter what their position is.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Aha. I have found the hornet's nest.

 

This is an interesting topic and I have found the responses stimulating and sometimes amusing. The OP should be proud to have brought up an original topic that is so appropriate! Some of the answers have been perhaps a bit forceful, but that happens sometimes.

 

My serious answer to "why don't more men do it?" is that like a lot of things, our opinions are influenced by our situations. Let me try to explain. My impression is that for many couples, I'm guessing the majority of those still of childbearing age, the woman is on birth control of some sort. -- I wonder if that is true? I just consider it the default way that people work things. --If it is true, then those couples don't care whether their swing partners are snipped, because they aren't going to get pregnant anyway.

 

Following that linkage some more, then, if most people are not hoping for a V-safe man, then having that surgery does not become one of the things most people expect in play partners. As we all know, prevailing expectations are very influential, sometimes seeping into the collective (un)consciousness.

 

A few more random thoughts:

 

One, Having a vasectomy is, after all, surgery. Any surgery is potentially serious. That would discourage plenty of men/couples who are on the pill from doing it to suit their hobby. Not to mention that some insurance doesn't cover it, so the bill would be quite a consideration.

 

Two, If someone tells me they are vasectomy-safe, I'll nod and smile, but it's not like I'm going to place that kind of trust in someone I don't know well. So if someone does it to make themselves a more attractive swing partner, it's not helping with me...and probably not with lots of people. Also, I'm 42, so the chances of me getting pregnant, let alone with a condom on, are pretty darn small.

 

Three, I'll have to agree with those who believe that it's every woman/couple's responsibility to make sure they don't get pregnant. I couldn't expect someone to consider having surgery just to have sex with me. It's bad enough trying to find out if they've been tested for STDs. Plus, the trust thing again. Someone can tell you they are safe, but they could well be lying. If they are wanting to bareback, and think you might go for it, well...

 

Four, Have you ever met someone, usually a guy, who won't fix their male pet because of some weird boy-macho thing? I've known at least one very smart guy who had this attitude with a pet cat. Even worse when considering having it done to themselves. Even though it's wrong, lots of guys have the sense that getting the snip could be emasculating. More dis-incentive.

 

In conclusion, I'd say the framing of the question "Why are some people so hesitant to..." suggests that having a vasectomy is less significant than it is. It's not major surgery, but it's not like having a mole removed either.

[CXXC 435]

Mrs. CXXC and I made the joint decision to let me get snipped 4 years ago. She had been on the pill for nearly 25 years and we both felt it would be better for her to get off that little sucker. So, I made the appointment and SNIP!!!!

It was virtually painless. I may be strange in that I didn't feel any discomfort at all the next day or any day after.

 

I loved the fact that the doctor told Mrs. CXXC that we should have sex as often as possible to "Run the plumbing out!". HE HE HE!! That worked out well! HA HA HA! "Hey honey! The doctor said we HAVE to! Roll over!"

 

As I have been V safe for years, there was not reason to have a young woman undergo the procedure. For her, it is not a simple matter of a couple clamps and a 1/4 inch incision. Hers ir truly invasive.

 

As of fears of getting pregnant....

We feel it is all parties involved in the activity to avoid the possibility. Are condoms perfect? NO! Do we prefer skin to skin? YES! BUT!!! We do not plan on going bareback with anyone as we have not known anyone long enough to trust that activity! V safe or not!

 

Let us just say, safety and health are our first concern. Having a child is 2nd. After all, I childproofed my home for 28 years and one STILL got in! ACK!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm sorry but it is ABSOLUTELY your responsibility to make sure you don't get pregnant if you do not wish to become so!

 

 

I have to agree with this statement. Then I have to add one thing that no one else has addressed in this thread.... so you are fixed and you can't get pregnant... I think more people use condoms within swinging to prevent STDs than they do to prevent pregnancy.

 

As far as the pregnancy issue goes, I'm on the pill that is my choice on how to handle not wanting kids. I'd love to get fixed but the simple fact is that my insurance won't cover it unless it's a medical necessity (which it's not) and it's too costly (and too invasive of a procedure) for me to do unless it is a necessity.

 

Pet could get fixed and the discussion has come up, since we don't want children anyway. But, it's not something that either of us are pushing for because for us, the pregnancy issues is covered and for swinging we would be using condoms anyway (yes, they are not 100% effective in preventing ANYTHING but they do cut the risk).

 

I can see your argument here if you are a couple who is ONLY trying to prevent pregnancy and have no desire to reproduce ... but I just don't think that's the reason that most swingers use condoms. However, from what I have seen many swingers who will not use condoms and for whom pregnancy is still a concern they have taken that route. It all just comes down to what you want to do for you and what is important to you.

[Chicup 41]

I like to keep my options open.

 

We don't plan on having my children.

 

Plans change.

[WesternSwing 504]

For Mr. NC, have it done on a Friday and he should be able to return to work on Monday as long as he doesn't strain himself. Your recovery time would be much longer.

I would say you could be back to work, but you probably wouldn't want to be.

[tnt69couple 64]

My wife has been fixed for years for health reasons. Being safe for me is an unnecessary surgery. There are other alternatives to being safe with swing partners.

 

With all that said now, before April of last year it could have been a possibility to have the surgery. After April, because of being on blood thinners (for the rest of my life), I am avoiding any surgery if possible. Don't need the risk. The zipper cut was enough:lol:

 

Surgery? I guess you could call it that. I had a vasectomy done several years ago. Went in on Friday. They numbed my scrotum, made a one inch cut and snip. A few sutures and I drove myself home.

 

I had sex the following day and went to work on Monday.

[Cpl2share 147]

I got cut 3 weeks after our last child was born. Mrs. Cpl was going to have it done at the same time as the delivery, but our insurance at the time would not pay for it because she was under 21. Ain't that a crock? So we shelled out the $500 (no insurance for me) and I got done. She was sick of the pill and we both hate condoms. A couple of years ago she began having serious plumbing problems and finally went in for a hysterectomy. Now there is no concern at any point (except STD), but it is SWEEEEEEEEET to go on vacation (or play) without looking at the red dot on the calendar.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Surgery? I guess you could call it that. I had a vasectomy done several years ago. Went in on Friday. They numbed my scrotum, made a one inch cut and snip. A few sutures and I drove myself home.

 

I had sex the following day and went to work on Monday.

 

Yes, surgery. They invade the body when they do a vasectomy.

 

As I stated before, by being on blood thinners (coumadin) things get a lot more complicated than for people who are not on blood thinners. And having an artificial aortic valve and seven stents is another set of complications. I am not a doctor or surgeon and I have to go on their advice before I can get any procedures done, to include seeing the dentist.

 

So at this time and probably for the rest of my life, a vasectomy is out of the question.

[steversk 19]

I got a vasectomy shortly after me and my second wife got married. We both decided we did not want children (I have one from my first marriage), and she did not want to be on the pill. The procedure was about 30 minutes, painless, and I had very little soreness after. Was back to work after a days rest. Went in after a month to have a sperm count to make sure it had taken. I had zero swimmers so we were good to go. Since then, I have been very glad I had it done. Not having to worry about birth control with my wife is great. With anyone else I would always use a condom. To anyone that has decided for sure that they don't want children (or any more children I would highly recommend it.

[NotSorry 155]

The answer to the original question is really obvious to me... no matter how quick and easy the surgery, it's a big decision. Personally, it's not something my husband and I will consider for many years as we are not done having children. Maybe it's because we are so detached to the idea of sterilization at this time in our lives that I find this question so bizarre...

 

I think maybe what is bothering you has more to do with the male response to a vasectomy and the assumption that the birth control responsibility is disproportionately placed on females. I can understand that. I wouldn't want to be involved with a partner that I didn't feel like took appropriate responsibility for protection against pregnancy.

[Nardozzi 16]

I became V Safe three years ago. I went in on Monday afternoon at 3:00, walked out of the Dr.s office at 3:45 and was at work the next morning. The biggest pain for me was taking two sperm count tests, one at 4 weeks then the second at 8 weeks. It was like getting a new car and not being able to drive it for 2 months!!!!

[MrkLin 393]

The biggest pain for me was taking two sperm count tests, one at 4 weeks then the second at 8 weeks. It was like getting a new car and not being able to drive it for 2 months!!!!

 

I don't understand. Your doctor told you not to have sex until your tests came back? Am I misunderstanding?

 

My doctor told me to have as much sex as I wanted, to 'clean out the pipes,' so to speak. He told us to use our normal birth control methods until my tests came back negative, but other than that, he basically said that the more I ejaculated, the faster I'd have a "0 swimmer count."

 

Oh, and yeah, I did use the old "Doctor's orders," line a time or two...

[LFM2 1,482]

My doctor told me to have as much sex as I wanted, to 'clean out the pipes,' so to speak. He told us to use our normal birth control methods until my tests came back negative, but other than that, he basically said that the more I ejaculated, the faster I'd have a "0 swimmer count."

 

Oh, and yeah, I did use the old "Doctor's orders," line a time or two...

 

Dave got his V when I was nine months pregnant with our third. I assisted in this little surgery and it was my most satisfying moment at that time. Dave told me I had an evil grin on my face the entire time. (I did??? I don't remember?!)

 

Our doc told Dave the same thing. He wanted 20 ejaculations then check his sperm count before we could stop using our old BC methods. Dave said he'd see him in 5 years (slap!!)

[bicuriocpl 90]

For me the biggest concern was when the Doctor cauterized the cuts. It is not a real good thing to be lying on a table and look down and see smoke coming from an area that there really shouldn't be any. Hey doc I'm on fire and not in a good way!

 

Other than that the Dr. told me 20 times and then test. Also a word of advice if you do get it done, do not go dancing the next day, very painful. Wife said I actually turned green.

[MrkLin 393]

Our doc told Dave the same thing. He wanted 20 ejaculations then check his sperm count before we could stop using our old BC methods. Dave said he'd see him in 5 years (slap!!)

 

Oh man! Three minutes in the penalty box for that one!

[MrkLin 393]

For me the biggest concern was when the Doctor cauterized the cuts. It is not a real good thing to be lying on a table and look down and see smoke coming from an area that there really shouldn't be any. Hey doc I'm on fire and not in a good way!

 

My doctor gave me a prescription for one pill, with instructions to take it one hour before the surgery, and have my wife drive me to and from his office. I really don't know what that pill was (I didn't pay any attention at the time,) but all I can tell you about it is that by the time we got to his office, I was at 30,000 feet and climbing. He could have used a set of bolt cutters and a propane torch for all I know, and I'd have probably helped him get it lit. I do know that I was in zero pain for that day, and only had a stinging sensation the next, so whatever it was - it worked.

[good times 991]

My doctor gave me a prescription for one pill, with instructions to take it one hour before the surgery, and have my wife drive me to and from his office.

That was Valium, if it is the same as my doctor gave me.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

My doctor gave me a prescription for one pill, with instructions to take it one hour before the surgery, . . .

That pill assures that you are in a good moved when he hands you his bill.

 

Vasectomy was the right decision for me. But consequences down the road are possible. I am now officially a statistic. One out of five-hundred will develop a sperm granuloma, a small, uncomfortable, bead-like structure made of leaked sperm that develops at the site where the tube was cut and blocked. This happened to me twenty-eight years after the vasectomy.

 

~Michael

[tnt69couple 64]

Yes, surgery. They invade the body when they do a vasectomy.

 

As I stated before, by being on blood thinners (coumadin) things get a lot more complicated than for people who are not on blood thinners. And having an artificial aortic valve and seven stents is another set of complications. I am not a doctor or surgeon and I have to go on their advice before I can get any procedures done, to include seeing the dentist.

 

So at this time and probably for the rest of my life, a vasectomy is out of the question.

 

Surgery= invading the body. Then my wife has surgery 3 to 4 times a week

[lovefest04 699]

Well to be honest, I am terrified, after all they have to put me to sleep to do it, you men just get a local, then snip, snip and 30 minutes later you go home.

 

You're correct, it is very simple for the man to get fixed. Mine was completed at 2pm on a Friday, and I was back at it in full force on Monday. Could have been mowing the lawn on Sunday as well, but shoot, I'll use any excuse to get pampered for a few days. And frankly, my wife felt a bit sorry for me. I figured I'd make the best of it.

 

Never did give the sample, but 2 years later and no new little ones so I guess it worked.

 

The best part, of course, was being able to legally display my junk to the doctor's 62 year old assistant. She never blinked an eye, totally professional but heck she's still a girl...

 

Back to the original question. We never used the pill, very unhealthy for the female in our opinion, so having me fixed was a great option for us in our personal activities. That does leave open the issue of her getting pregnant if the condom breaks. I guess we see that as a small risk, but believe me when I tell you I make sure everyone of her partners is sheathed.

 

Great thread and great input from all.

 

PS Trixie, I didn't take offense at what you said at all. Direct and clear. Thanks

 

S

[I'm his 15]

I have no idea own this became an issue. I got "fixed" 3 years ago and I love it. I never wanted kids; not my thing. So, I found someone who wold do it for me; best decision I ever made.

[Raines5 15]

Good point here. My husband had the big V but because he did, I never really thought about me needing any kind of birth control. I guess I just think of him when I think of having babies....

[PlayfulSeniors 15]

I have been surgically safe for almost 30 years. It was one of the best decisions I could have made. At the time, the doctor said to my wife that this does not keep you from getting pregnant. She later also took the surgical route.

 

Don and Ann

[mihmar 15]

Vasectomy carries an increased risk of prostate cancer. I guess because the channels are not being regularly flushed by cum. This is the reason we have not considered it.

[prometheius 137]

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men and the second leading cause of cancer death in American men, after lung cancer. In March 1993, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) convened a conference, cosponsored by the National Cancer Institute (NCI) and the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, to clarify the available evidence on the relationship between vasectomy and prostate cancer. Scientists reviewed and carefully weighed all of the data available at that time, including results from published and unpublished studies.

 

They determined that the results of research on the association between vasectomy and prostate cancer were not consistent. In addition, the scientists could not find any convincing biological explanation for a link between vasectomy and an increased risk of prostate cancer. Based on these findings, the expert panel concluded that even if having a vasectomy can increase a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer, the increase in risk is relatively small.

 

 

This is the gist of all the information I've been able to find, and the NCI hasn't changed it's stance on this in at least the last 30 years, which is about how long ago I had mine done.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

In my opinion, once you are done having kids there is no good reason not to get snipped. I had it done 11 years ago after our 3rd child was born and I think it's one of the best decisions we have ever made. A few years later the Mrs got her tubes tied as well and last year she had a hysterectomy for health reasons. We have had a few condoms break, our 1st and 3rd children come to mind. And we have also had 2 break in swinging situations. It's so nice not to have the worry of any more unplanned children. If your a guy and you are worried about the pain it's really a non issue, I had mine done on a Monday and was back to a very physical job on Thursday. As others have stated the Dr gave me orders (in writing) that we should have as much sex a possible as soon as I was comfortable and bring in a fresh sample after 15 ejaculations, we brought in the sample on wed. It was great seeing his jaw hit the floor.

[SoFlaCp 85]

My wife had her tubes tied at last C section. We considered but she is Oral and decided she did not want me to change anything. The prostate risk factored in. Has never been an issue and yes we do ask couples even though we always use Condoms. Every girl we've met has been "safe" through means other than my Condom.

 

...and yeah, I'm a wimp when it comes to procedures on my balls...so we have not had any compelling reason that would make us reconsider.