Same Room Vs. Same Bed...

[likkit69 17]

I searched for this topic and couldn't find anything so...

 

Same room swap and Same bed swap...is there a difference?

 

Like many swingers we only play together, however, we have played in separate beds in the same room, and then eventually all ended up in the same bed.

 

Are there people who will only play in the same bed (or within reach of each other)? And are there others who prefer to play in the same room but in separate beds? Or does it really matter?

[Tia Vampire 167]

We have done it both ways. Same room seperate beds and same room same bed. It's all good.

[N&G 207]

It depends on the size of the bed. I don't mind a king for four people but a double bed is too small. Most of our play is separate room so it's seldom an issue for us. We go along with whatever the other couple wants.

[LFM2 1,482]

We're a same room only type of couple because we get such a charge out of watching each other, plus we love to touch each other as well. Most times, it might start out on separate beds, but before long, we usually end up on one bed and then it just kinda turns into one big dog pile. We like it that way.

[iapr 24]

When it comes to preferences everything matters. What do you like to do and does either make you uncomfortable?

 

Our preference is definately same bed. Whenever anyone asks us what we like in reference to our proximity to each other we always reply, "bodypile!":D

 

While same bed is a clear preference there have been times we have been in separate beds and a couple times at houseparties even separate rooms and while it wasn't our first choice it also was not problematic in those specific situations either but as a general rule we maintain we are same-room couple.

 

What is key is to do what you want to do and stay within your comfort zones.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

We're a same room only type of couple because we get such a charge out of watching each other, plus we love to touch each other as well. Most times, it might start out on separate beds, but before long, we usually end up on one bed and then it just kinda turns into one big dog pile. We like it that way.

 

That sounds really fun!

[friskyous 17]

Same room is a must.. same bed is a plus.

We love the interaction so the closer, the better.

[The Fuse 1,012]

This may be obvious, but if there is a component of girl-girl play going on between two couples, then same bed is necessary at least during the time that's happening. Depending on the level of interest, it can be happening continuously or on and off during the entire encounter.

 

And in answer to the OP's question, there are couples who will only stay on the same bed. In our experience there aren't that many of those, but there are a fair number who say they are same room only. You said you do both separate beds and same bed, but didn't say if you have a strong preference for one or the other. Do you? You don't have to choose -- I think it's best to express a preference or a rule off the bat only if it really is something you would feel uncomfortable without.

 

There are also many couples who say they are only same room, or same bed. But once they see they can trust you, will open up the choices a bit. Sometimes their "opening offer" is due to having had a bad experience in the past. We are seeing a couple like this now. Once she realized Mr. Fuse would never hurt a fly, she was fine with separate rooms. Her husband is much more uninhibited when we are alone.... he talks dirty to me and generally is more mischievous, which I like. Personally I enjoy focusing on one person, which is difficult when there are four people on the same bed. But... sometimes the pile is great fun, especially when the other lady and I like each other, or everyone is simply in a giggly mood.

 

In general we express our preferences, but we try to make clear how strong or weak those preferences are. We attempt to find the overlap with the other couple (pun intended). If we are lucky enough to see the same couple more than twice or three times, then we seem to have an ongoing process of trying to make sure everyone's preferences are honored as much as possible, including our own, while also trying not to be rigid unless it is necessary.

[sweet_tna 680]

We are typically a same room couple. We've done same bed, and as others have mentioned, that's handy for allowing touching our SO and/or girl/girl contact (if that's the way things are going).

 

But we've done separate room (usually at a house/hotel party when we're not playing with partners from the same couples) and have tried alone play once. It's all a matter of what you're comfortable with.

 

Does it matter? Only if it matters to you.

 

=)

[CXXC 435]

Mrs. CXXC and I have tried just aobut every combination so far. Separate rooms, solo, same room, same bed, separate bed......

 

We have discovered that we like same room and couples only at this time. The ability to look over and see your mate being pleasured is a great turn on for us. to touch each other or kiss each other as well is even better. DON'T think that we neglect our lovers. They are well cared for. hwoever, we do enjoy being party to each others pleasure.

 

Also, the girl/girl play always starts things off on one bed. If the boys get involved, we have found it rare that ANYONE moves fro that bed. This is, however, a logistical matter depending upon the bed size.

 

What is best for you? Try them all! You will never know what you do or do not like until you have experienced it. It is just like new food. You never know till you try! You may actually like tripe! It's not my thing, but you might like it. (URP) Just have fun and see where your next adventure takes you!

 

Keep an open mind, communicate and above all, NO MEANS NO!

[good times 991]

I guess we differ from most here. Our first choice would be separate rooms. If the other couple prefers same room, it is fine with us, but we would then prefer separate beds. If a couple will only do same bed, then we prefer to either not play at all or take turns when it comes time for actual sex. One thing that swinging has taught me is that very few people have the same rhythm. So, in our experience, same bed sex is usually less than satisfying for at least one of the participants.

 

Another related observation, we see a noticeable increase in the occurrence of male performance problems with same bed play. I would say that, on average, we see men (including myself) have performance issues less than 10% of the time when playing separate room or separate beds, but at least one of the men will have performance issues more than 50% of the time during our encounters when on the same bed.

[MrkLin 393]

We've tried every combination and permutation as well, and we prefer separate beds. Truth be told, Lin prefers separate rooms. Why? Fewer distractions. She has to be able to concentrate on what's happening to her to fully enjoy it. Having said that, we do have fun in same room/same bed situations - she just knows that she isn't going to climax in those situations because there's just too much going on.

[likkit69 17]

Thanks a lot for all the awesome replies keep them coming. It's apparent that people do have different preferences concerning this, which was my curiosity. My basic concern was whether this was something of reasonable discussion with potential playmates, but you all have helped me realize that when it comes to people's comforts, pretty much anything is "reasonable" to discuss.

 

With us, we would prefer same bed, for at least part of the time, because as many have said this allows physical contact between you and your spouse, and is also necessary if the females want to play with each other while having sex with the males. That's not to say that we're opposed to separate beds, but same bed is just more fun...for us any way.

[The Fuse 1,012]

you all have helped me realize that when it comes to people's comforts, pretty much anything is "reasonable" to discuss.

You have really hit the nail on the head with this statement! So true so true so true!

 

In general, one of the first things we realized about talking to swingers is that you can talk about things that otherwise would be very personal, and you can do it within a few minutes of meeting each other. "I don't like anal". "We like same bed". "We would prefer..." and asking others personal questions along the same vein.

[MrkLin 393]

My basic concern was whether this was something of reasonable discussion with potential playmates, but you all have helped me realize that when it comes to people's comforts, pretty much anything is "reasonable" to discuss.

 

Never ever be afraid to discuss your comfort levels. When it comes to anything proposed to you, everything is open to discussion - and yes, it's reasonable. You are always the master of your body. You control who sees it, touches it, or is lucky enough to sample it - never forget that. What you say goes, with respect to your body.

 

Additionally, the two of you together are in complete control of your relationship. That means nothing happens within your relationship without the consent of both of you. You wouldn't go buy a car without your SOs input, and by the same token your SO wouldn't go buy a time-share condo without your input. Those discussions are perfectly reasonable between the two of you.

 

Swinging is no different - in this context, that is. As a couple, you have rules and limits, and you're naturally going to have questions of the people you meet in the LS - if for no other reason than to see if they're going to be a match for you. So, ask away. Couples that are worth their weight in mud will answer your questions, and won't give you any grief about it. I would be wary of any couple that does give you grief about asking questions.

 

I'd also be wary of a couple that didn't ask questions themselves.

[Chicup 42]

Same bed can be a bit awkward and 'too close' logistically.

 

I'm more of a fan of same room separate bed/area/whatever, but its a minor thing.

[WesternSwing 504]

For us, it really doesn't matter if it is separate beds, same bed or even separate rooms. We do have friends that it always ends-up funner being at least in the same room and preferably in the same bed with, though.

 

Mr. WS

[willyoats 324]

We have done it both ways. In any bed smaller than king size, it's too close and distracting. Even in the king, the problem for us is that I usually want to watch her having fun and getting banged. So, I sometimes am not as attentive to my partner as I should be. That depends a lot on who the partner is, of course. With some I get completely lost in them and have no trouble concentrating on them.

 

Separate beds are usually better if it is same room. WE finally gave that up, too, and went to separate rooms a lot.

.

[themariner 27]

We are same bed. We both love to watch each other. I especially enjoy watching the wife given oral sex. There is just something about watching the wife sucking a hard cock. The wife enjoys watching another woman sucking my cock. So much enjoy watching the wife getting her tits covered in cum.

[oc1234 435]

We've done it both ways and enjoy each. For soft swapping, the same bed is very nice, but for full swap, we prefer same room more that same bed.

[likkit69 17]

We are same bed. We both love to watch each other. I especially enjoy watching the wife given oral sex. There is just something about watching the wife sucking a hard cock. The wife enjoys watching another woman sucking my cock. So much enjoy watching the wife getting her tits covered in cum.

 

I'm right with ya on that one!!!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think if I had my preference I'd have a room with 2 king size beds in it. I'm bi so I like to play with the other girl (if it's an option) but when it gets down to two couples going at it, even a king size bed can be too small sometimes.

[Additude 457]

We did that same room same bed thing about a month or so ago...it ended up a broken bed....

 

It cost me around $16 in new slats and some 1 X 1 to use as reinforcement posts under the slats....

 

You wouldn't think a sleep number bed would go down like that.....CRACK!! CRACK!! Stop....Whats the heck is that noise?....4 of us start up again...CRACK!! Say what????? Whoompf!!! The whole bed's in a "V" sunk in the middle.....Dang.....

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

We did that same room same bed thing about a month or so ago...it ended up a broken bed....

 

It cost me around $16 in new slats and some 1 X 1 to use as reinforcement posts under the slats....

 

You wouldn't think a sleep number bed would go down like that.....CRACK!! CRACK!! Stop....Whats the heck is that noise?....4 of us start up again...CRACK!! Say what????? Whoompf!!! The whole bed's in a "V" sunk in the middle.....Dang.....

 

I think you missed the part where it says "sleep number". It's not a "sex number" bed There's fine print that says "Warning: This bed has not been rated safe for vigorous sex activities"

[frisky-n-fun 31]

 

In general, one of the first things we realized about talking to swingers is that you can talk about things that otherwise would be very personal, and you can do it within a few minutes of meeting each other.

 

I agree. Share and share alike Then everybody will enjoy themselves no matter what choices you make.