Just what does bi curious mean to most women?

[SizzleinNC 15]

We have been with a few bi curious woman couples and every one of them would kiss, feel my wife up, let her feel up the bi curious one, even let my wife eat her but not return the favor.

 

Then we have met the Bi curious lady who will do anything.

 

Why do they call themselves bi curious?

 

This really has us baffled

[IvoryTowers 380]

Bi curious usually means that a woman is interested in being with a woman but hasn't had the experience (so she doesn't really know if the reality will be as exciting as the fantasy or how comfortable she'll be).

 

As such, the range of experiences you've had don't seem unusual and I think you should stop seeking after an exact set of behaviors that a woman who is "bi curious" will always do. Instead, talk to your partners who label themselves as bi curious and ask what they are interested in. If this is important to your wife, ask upfront and before a meeting. If it's a nice option, it can be something that can be explored in the moment.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

It means whatever to the person trying to define the term or benefit from the results of their interpretation.

[LFM2 1,482]

It means whatever to the person trying to define the term or benefit from the results of their interpretation.

 

Yep. *nodding*

[NCfuncouple98 367]

It means whatever to the person trying to define the term or benefit from the results of their interpretation.

 

Absolutely. There have been many debates on this board as to what bi-curious really means, and whether or not there should be other terms that more appropriately "label" that person.

 

I think you have to discuss that up front, so that you are all clear as to what the expectations are.

[LOL_OMG 130]

If you take the words as they are Bi-Curious means what it sounds like. If a Bi-female reads more into it than there is then that falls on them. If the MRs. wants to get more into this cool, if not i will reply to any comments, after asking her of course 0_0.

Mr. Omg

[NotSorry 155]

It can also mean something like "we're slightly interested in that but it's not essential to us enjoying the experience".

SLS, tragically, does not have a "slightly interested in bi activity" designation, so the best thing to do in that case is hedge.

 

mr notsorry

[rickmccool 23]

You can only be bi curious once.

[CXXC 435]

It means whatever to the person trying to define the term or benefit from the results of their interpretation.

 

This fact DRIVES ME NUTS! However, it is also completely true. Yet, commonsence would tell us, "You can only be bi curious once. " If you dont like it, you are not. If you do, you are! Simple.

 

Another reason people list themselves as bi-curious is a marketing ploy. Dishonest? Yes. But, it has almost become a requirement these days for women to be Bi. At least that is my understanding of the complaints I have read.

[rpu3 630]

We have been with a few bi curious woman couples and every one of them would kiss, feel my wife up, let her feel up the bi curious one, even let my wife eat her but not return the favor.

 

Swappernet used to have a label choice of "Passive Bi", which was defined as basically what you experienced.

 

It means whatever to the person trying to define the term or benefit from the results of their interpretation.

 

 

This fact DRIVES ME NUTS! However, it is also completely true. Yet, commonsence would tell us, "You can only be bi curious once. " If you dont like it, you are not. If you do, you are! Simple.

 

Another reason people list themselves as bi-curious is a marketing ploy. Dishonest? Yes. But, it has almost become a requirement these days for women to be Bi. At least that is my understanding of the complaints I have read.

 

To me, it means nothing more than someone has an interest in exploring their bi-sexuality, but has not done so yet. I'd agree that with some that people can't just be bi-curious forever.

 

That being said, I listed myself as bi-curious for a long time, because I wasn't seeking a bi-sexual experience, I was just open to it, and I'd not been in a situation in which I could rule out bisexuality. So, that accounted for a couple years using that label - I couldn't rule it out because I WAS still curious and with no experience yet to make that decision. I wasn't going to just try the bi-thing out with just anyone in order to make profiles easier to consider.

 

I tried out enough girl-girl "socially bi" activities and figured out that while it was nice enough, it's just not what holds my interest. I'm not bi. I'm no longer curious. Hence, it's now set at straight.

 

No marketing ploy on my part.

 

And just my .02. Obviously, YMMV.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

To me BI-CURIOUS means that they haven't decided yet if they are really bi (attracted to women). Quite often what you described would be the norm for them... they are bi-receptive but not comfortable being on the giving end (and not sure if they will become so).

[Guest]

What I think:

 

Bi-Curious: Interested in trying

Bi-Sexual: Has munched the muff

[Tia Vampire 167]

Well for myself, bi curious means that you are willing to try some same gender sex, but not all acts. Like for myself, i'm willing to do everything except go down on a woman. I feel that going all the way makes you either gay or bi-sexual. I think you can go all the way once to find out what you may be into.

[The Fuse 1,012]

"Bi-curious" on a profile means the woman might be open to some level of girl-girl play. To find out more, you have to ask.

 

"Bi-curious" in conversation ought to mean there is still some mystery to the woman as to how bisexual she is. As others have pointed out, once you've had some experiences, you should know better how bisexual you are.

 

I know perfectly well what my level of bi-ness is; but I am still "bi-curious" on our profile after three years because I feel it is code for "there is some room for play, perhaps, but I am not truly into women". There is just no better label available. Our profile explains, for people who bother to read. In person I explain when the subject comes up.

[realcplub2 513]

"Bi-curious" on a profile means the woman might be open to some level of girl-girl play. To find out more, you have to ask.

 

"Bi-curious" in conversation ought to mean there is still some mystery to the woman as to how bisexual she is. As others have pointed out, once you've had some experiences, you should know better how bisexual you are.

 

I know perfectly well what my level of bi-ness is; but I am still "bi-curious" on our profile after three years because I feel it is code for "there is some room for play, perhaps, but I am not truly into women". There is just no better label available. Our profile explains, for people who bother to read. In person I explain when the subject comes up.

 

Excellently explained.. My lovely wife has a afinity to being defined by one roll or another.. She is best selfdescribed as Bi Comfortable, meaning she as Ms Fuse explained would prefer there to be some "wiggle" room, although, for the most part its her that initiates any contact. This having been said, it isnt something she feels she has had enough experience with to say that she is, but doesnt rule it out..

 

The very fact that everyone has a different way of defining it, makes it a bone of contenion for us.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

I've already said my piece on this.

 

Now with a little more.

 

Bi-friendly

 

Bi-neutral

 

Bi-party

 

Bi-oneway

[SizzleinNC 15]

Excellently explained.. My lovely wife has a afinity to being defined by one roll or another.. She is best selfdescribed as Bi Comfortable, meaning she as Ms Fuse explained would prefer there to be some "wiggle" room, although, for the most part its her that initiates any contact. This having been said, it isnt something she feels she has had enough experience with to say that she is, but doesnt rule it out..

 

The very fact that everyone has a different way of defining it, makes it a bone of contenion for us.

We totally agree with you!! To us it seems like a cum on to initiate what the husband wishes. We list myself as bi but the bi comfortable labels best defines me. I love to kiss and caress woman but do not necessarily want to do oral on her. BUT there are woman I do want to do oral on once we start kissing. I always enjoy anyone man or woman to do oral on me!

 

What am I??

[unusualsuspects 26]

We love to say bi-comfortable mainly because true curiosity is honestly figured out pretty quickly.

 

In our case, while we don't feel specifically attracted towards anything same-sex, we are attracted towards what is hot. And what is hot can be very situationally and personally dependent.

 

When we hear about someone being curious we get curious and ask what they mean. Once we tell them our stance it they usually want to borrow it, and that makes for good conversational foreplay.

[hotjazz 15]

This is the thread that was on my mind. Glad I read it--was very imformative. We are now emptynesters, MrsHJ is feeling better, and we're talking about getting back into the "swing" of things.

We've been with only 3 or 4 couples one of which became exclusive partners for 2 years until we hung it up until now. However, we won't go back with them because the other gal didn't seem too interested in participating. Nontheless, when she did(participate) in the beginning she initiated her bi desires toward my wife. Mostly it was titty sucking and moderate fingering. The Mrs. took it in stride as it being the first time. The other time was with another couple and the gal went down on the Mrs. There have been a few other instances when MrsHJ has played with a guys cock when he was entering his partner's pussy.As of late when we were watching a porn and a bi or lez scene played the Mrs. seemed to squirm a little more than usual(could I have imagined it?). As Julie wrote my wife is a "receiver" not a giver. I'd like to know her feelings on this subject and I know you'll say to discuss it. We have great communication but I'm afraid to broach the subject in fear of embarassing her which I know will happen. Quite honestly, I'd like to see her take it a step further.

BTW- she never balked when I wrote "bi-curious" on her SLS profile.

Thanks in advance for any insight you may offer. Mr Hot Jazz

[kellimc 227]

We all know what it really means. It means the bi-curious female is selfish and likes to have her pussy licked by another woman but won't return the favor.

[The Fuse 1,012]

We all know what it really means. It means the bi-curious female is selfish and likes to have her pussy licked by another woman but won't return the favor.

 

Well now that might be true for some "bi curious" women, but not for me. If I don't want to give, I don't want to receive either, and it says so right in our profile. I don't think it's fair to characterize all "bi-curious" women as selfish.

 

There's been a lot of discussion on this Board about why women continue to list themselves as bi-curious, when there's no curiosity left. The reasons are too many to spell out in one post. Some are well-meaning, some are not.

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

OOPS! Guess I am the naive one here being in a shell of close friends. Though I can laugh about it. Really I can count on one hand the number of times I have been with a woman one on one in the last 25 years.

 

I enjoy a woman but it really flips my switch when I know Keith is (or friends are ) is watching. When we are all together yes I become sexually involved with a woman, but I do not have a girl friend(s) on the side. Nor do I have sex with a woman with out Keith or another male around. Oh, yes I enjoy eating pussy & anal licking, fondling tits and tongue kissing ... especially "sloppy seconds".

 

Oh well silly me!

 

Jamie

[frisky-n-fun 31]

I have never classified myself as bi curious. I decided I wanted to try sex with a specific woman and that night I did, and now I am absolutely bi - no curiousity there. I have had encounters with woman who call themselves bi curious, and while they are fun to flirt with and participate in nipple action I have never tried to take one any further because they always seemed unsure abt doing so. In my experience most bi curious women enjoy getting physical with other women but just are not sure abt taking the dive, to expect more than that without them telling you they will take it further is just setting yourself up for failure. I say enjoy casual play with them if you dig them, then let your SO reap the benefits.

[LilyPuss 16]

All I know is that if a woman we meet is "bi-curious" AND shy, she is not for us. I am truly prefer a man, though I love the feel and touch of women, just as I love to touch and feel women. But, if you are a woman and want to play with us, you better have at least some inkling as to what you are doing.

 

If women aren't your thing, say so. Don't tease.

 

BTW, I am not attracted to all women, just as I am not attracted to all men.

[ktimephoenix 156]

The very fact that everyone has a different way of defining it, makes it a bone of contenion for us.

 

I think the fact this is a bone of contention with you is more a reflection of what you guys want. Almost everything in Swinging (to my experiences at least) is subjective.

 

a couple that wants a "same room swap" may not allow kissing, or want to couple off completely (him with Mrs Phoenix, me with his wife), where others that are into "same room swap" will want an all in pile on, with much swapping backwards and forwards. a couple that lists they are into "slight BDSM" may mean anything from a bit of soft spanking to full whips, chains, leather restraints etc. this doesn't raise the same sort of contention as the "bi curious" statement, possibly because these aspects are not used anywhere near as much in screening potential play partners.

 

there are many differences that may weigh in on people listing as bi curious. Mrs Phoenix has considered it, even though she is completely bi (her first sexual experience was with a woman), because people read "bi sexual" and misinterprit that as "sure thing for girl on girl play". women trying to find their feet when it comes to playing with other women, or couples seeking a unicorn often see Mrs "bi-sexual" part on her profile as "she will fuck any woman she encounters".

 

bi curious would at least make the potential play partners weigh up the possibility there won't be girl on girl action for whatever reason (mrs phoenix wants cock that night, or she just isn't attracted to the other woman).

[Trace Ekies 186]

Initially Mrs. Ekies was curious...she hadn't tried it yet but wanted to. Then she tried and enjoyed it, becoming what we believed to be bi- and then she realized that she enjoys the touch, taste and smell of a woman but prefers the touch, taste and smell of a man making her what we believe to be bi-friendly.

 

A woman is a nice starting course and makes her hot but an 8 inch penis as big around as a coke can will make her tremble and groan in ways she can't accurately describe. Add one for her mouth and one for her ass and she'll forget her name.

 

She's seen a women or two in the lifestyle that she said she found so attractive that she may have to set up something on the side. But 8 out of 10 times it's men that she makes that comment about. Fortunately for me she likes multiple men.

 

Trace

[YZF 8]

She's seen a women or two in the lifestyle that she said she found so attractive that she may have to set up something on the side. But 8 out of 10 times it's men that she makes that comment about. Fortunately for me she likes multiple men.

 

Trace

 

Mrs. YZF got into the lifestyle liking the fact that in our circle there were alot of bi and bi-curious women available. It has changed a bit of late because she has been doing multiple men anally.

[bi_slinky4u 15]

I love to kiss and caress woman but do not necessarily want to do oral on her. BUT there are woman I do want to do oral on once we start kissing. I always enjoy anyone man or woman to do oral on me!

 

What am I??

 

You are exactly what you said... a woman who enjoys the sensual part of being with someone. Whether that person is a man or a woman is up to you.

 

I call myself "bi", but this is because I enjoy giving and receiving when it comes to an encounter with another woman. I have no doubts that I enjoy it the act itself.

 

This does not mean, however, that I want to go down on or attack every woman that I meet. Like with an attraction to a man, some I want to have sex with, some I just want to talk to, flirt or kiss. It depends on the situation, the person, my level of attraction to them, and my mood.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

When I find out a woman is "bi-curious," it means (to me) that this woman most likely will not want to play with me. I'm bi, but I don't have to play with a woman every time (that would make me a lesbian, right? LOL).

 

If I'm attracted to Ms. Curious, I'd tell her so, but also make it clear that I don't push other people's boundries. So she would have to make all the first moves, whereas with a woman listed "bi" I would feel more comfortable taking the lead (if chemistry is right).

 

With the first couple we've played with, the wife told me she was bi-curious at our "meet and talk," and I told her I'm bi without any further elaboration. We had a couple of full-swaps, MF/MF, and eventually we broke our FF cherries. (She was truly "curious" in that she'd never been with a woman before. And since she said she enjoyed it, I'll have to ask her if she's still "curious." )

 

Basically, if I'm looking specifically to play with a woman I'll let that be known early on. Otherwise, FF play is more of a bonus when it comes to couples. I would never have a threesome with a straight woman. I think it would be too limiting.

 

Trixie

[JessicaJamison 861]

On 3/18/2009 at 4:37 PM, SizzleinNC said:

We have been with a few bi curious woman couples and every one of them would kiss, feel my wife up, let her feel up the bi curious one, even let my wife eat her but not return the favor.

 

Then we have met the Bi curious lady who will do anything.

 

Why do they call themselves bi curious?

 

This really has us baffled

Bicurious means she doesn't know and hasn't had enough experience to know if its truly for her yet.  She may be very eager having fantasized about it and just not had a chance so when one presents itself she's all in and goes to work. She also may be in the closet and is scared of saying she's bisexual or a lesbian so bicurious feels safe, but when the opportunity pops up she's all in. 

 

Other women may just wonder what it's like but haven't tried or maybe they aren't over the social stigma of it, so when it happens they aren't comfortable enough to reciprocate.  Or maybe they are afraid they won't know what they are doing, so nerves get the better of them.  Or maybe they didn't enjoy it and are not feeling it, they could have decided during the sex they are not Bi and don't have the heart to say you made them reaffirm they are definitely straight.  Maybe they are Bi but they are a pillow princess and love to receive but don't give, its a real thing. 

 

For a woman sex is a complicated thing we are agreeing to let some one violate our person by allowing them to insert things inside our body, there is a mental aspect to that, we are more vulnerable than you can ever imagine.  Sometimes it is impossible to get out of our own head, maybe its having an audience that shuts them down, you do not know whats going through her head.  Cut her some slack they are trying to figure out their own sexuality, that is fucking hard to do.  

[PJ&Lin 188]

BiCurious is the interest of possibly exploring enjoying sexually someone of either sex. Once you find you enjoy both and are attracted to both you are Bisexual

[Numex 2,414]

On 3/18/2009 at 2:37 PM, SizzleinNC said:

Just what does bi curious mean to most women?

It means that they are curious, but not there yet, so be gentle and kind.  There is one wife in our group who fits the classification as a pillow queen, she'll do anything with another woman except eat her out.  It doesn't matter, all the other women will eat her out without expecting her to return the favor.  She seems to be coming around however.  The question is whose pussy will she have in her mouth first.