Same Room or Separate Room?

[OnHArry 23]

For us it does not really matter as someone said it is all good. We found early on that with some couples in a same room situation the other male was so interested in watching his wife and I that he was barely going thjrough the motions with my wife. She did not like the fact the guy was not paying much attention to her.

 

The good thing about different rooms is your focus is generally on the partner you are with. Having said that when I am with another lady even in a same room situation i tend to be focused on her and her alone, to the point where I hardly know what is going on with my wife and the other guy.

 

That is the nice thing about threesomes as I can sometimes sit back and just take it all in as the other guy has his wicked way with my wife.

 

If a couple wants same room only and the couple we see currently is that way then fine I can handle that, if they wanted separate rooms no problem either it's supposed to be fun folks.

[JaneAndJohnDoe 17]

For us, it is really important that we are there with each other, not apart. The main reason we want to do this in the first place is to see each other give and get pleasure. It's also that, for us, it isn't about "having sex with others", it's more about having sex with each other, but with extra body parts involved.

 

God, when I say it that way, it sounds selfish, and that isn't it at all! It's that we want to be with another couple who are also totally into one another, and we want to play with a couple, as well as each other, all together.

[VanHlebar 187]

Well for MrsVan and I it is same room only and we may take it one step further to same bed also here shortly. After our first experience, we were in the same room, but the beds were very far apart and neither of us felt we where close enough. We want to be close to see, hear and even reach out and touch the other if we choose to.

 

Just our preference though.

[WesternSwing 504]

Originally we answered "same room only", however since then we have done seperate rooms on occasion. Although we prefer same room because we like to watch each other, sometimes seperate rooms can be fun.

 

Mr. WS

[prettylady 221]

For now anyway we are only doing same room.

 

Being new to this I am still a little nervous and Dog is still quite protective.

 

It is just a safety thing right now, but who knows what the future holds.

[LFM2 1,482]

I can't imagine being in seperate rooms.

 

That's why we are wanting to do this. I want to see his pleasure and he wants to see mine. I want the eye contact with him as well as the tactile contact.

[Bad Sandy 15]

When we do begin to play, I think we will exclusively be same room. Doing it together is the big turn on for us.

[Abgirlie 15]

Since our last experience we've decided same room only, to me it seemed kind of pointless if he couldn't enjoy watching me and me him

[rw53aust 17]

We always "play" in the same room. Most of the enjoyment is in hearing and watching our SO in the grip of pure lust, but when we are having an overnighter which is now common with us, it is separate rooms for sleeping and if sex happens...it happens

[arbbwcouple 15]

Me it does not matter but my wife prefers separate rooms.

[Guest Woodpecker]

We've done both and we're perfectly fine with either approach. We go with the flow. If the other couple prefers to be separate we're fine with that. If everyone wants to be in the same room or bed, that's fine, too. It really depends on the other couple.

 

Ann

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here--It has to be people we know well, but separate room or same room has always been great. Also, before I was married, I'd have threesomes with married friends and quite often, after having them together, I'd have them apart, then later, back together again. They loved it and I loved it too.

[JTcamp05 9]

Had some experience with both and each have been fun....but I guess if we had to pick the very best we would pick seperate rooms. We just feel its more comfortable, but that of course is all about the people you are with too.

[JTcamp05 9]

Would be interesting to see how the answer changes depending on how long you have been participating in the lifestyle. I would bet those who have had a little experience are way more open to diferent rooms.....

[mssquirtgun 16]

Wow what a thread!!! When the better half and I decided to explore this lifestyle we did a lot of reading a lot of discussing and made a set of likes and dislikes etc and we came up with a profile that fits what we liked at the time.

 

One of these decisions was to play in separate bedrooms.

 

While i would enjoy watching her with another man she is not yet comfortable with me watching and much like the situation with other couples as stated in the forums I won't force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

 

We stuck to these preferences and It took a while but we have found 2 of the most wonderful couples that totally enjoy separate room encounters.

We have become close friends with these couples and will probably stay so for a long time to come. This was our goal and we have reached it.

 

Time has passed and slowly the MRS is becoming more open and may eventually like to try same room playing and if that happens great and if not no loss!!

 

I read a lot of the posts and also got the impression from a few of the posts that if you didn't play in the same room then we aren't swingers.

 

Well let me tell you my experience in searching...... 85% of the couples we have contacted had no preference or preferred different rooms.

 

I guess it's all about liking different things. So I say to those of you that prefer to play in different rooms keep looking you will find what you are looking for! This is about compatibility and clicking and not fitting in or going with the flow!!!!

[JTcamp05 9]

mssquirtgun said:

I read a lot of the posts and also got the impression from a few of the posts that if you didn't play in the same room then we aren't swingers.

 

Well let me tell you my experience in searching...... 85% of the couples we have contacted had no preference or preferred different rooms.

 

That's interesting you say this..... it seems that some have this opinion that if you don't play in the same room your not swingers. I don't get it myself... we have done it but just prefer separate rooms find it more comfortable. It's our preference, not a requirement. I'm surprised you use the 85% stat...the poll doesn't reflect that.

[George1294 16]

Our first experience was in a hotel room. The other husband wanted separate rooms but we wanted the same room. We found out later that he has a problem maintaining his erection with others in the room.

 

After the first time, we had separate rooms when with this couple.

[milookin 15]

For the most part we always do seperate rooms, full swap. We have been together 34 years though and I think that makes a difference.

 

My wife is not at all bi and is not voyueristic at all so there is no turn on for her being in the same room. Me on the other hand...

 

We tend to have a very small circle though, so we end up going to dinner, family weddings, birthday parties, trips, etc. with our "friends", and even getting together seperately on occasion. They are part of our entire life not just fuck buddies.

 

Why do I get the feeling we are the exception rather than the rule!

[miss peaches 15]

i would have to say seperate rooms at first and then once we get settled and feel comfortable yeah same rooms. because of the jealousy act i mean we both want to venture out and have fun and just like we were saying tonight he wouldn't want me to get too into it and i said well i wouldn't want you too into it either but i don't want us playng the jealousy act but how can you stop?

[willyoats 324]

We have done both. But the extreme example was in Chicago at a Swing Convention there. The convention was so big that it required two hotels to accommodate all the guests. When we went with another couple who were staying at the other hotel, I went with her to their room and my wife stayed in our room. So not only was it separate room, it was separate hotels!

 

By the way, her name was Linda and she was truly beautiful and sexy as hell.

 

If you see this, Linda, I have never forgotten you!

[couple4fun2821 15]

We have done both. It seems that if one of the involved is nervous, seperate rooms are best. By this I mean, Say one of the males is having a problem "getting it up", it is probably due to the fact he is very nervous and seperate rooms might help calm him. When ever my wife and I do the seperate room swap.... we always end up with everyone back in the same room having a great time. Thats just what we do. Some couples who we have talked to about this think seperate rooms are never a good idea. So to each their own.

[Semod 15]

It doesn't matter to us. We've done both. There have been times when we started in the same room and moved to separate. Sometimes it just seems too crowded. We've even spent nights in a hotel where either the rooms are adjoined or on another floor. If we do that, we will more than likely split up for the night. Makes for an interesting breakfast in the hotel restaurant the next morning.

[bucko 15]

This question got me to thinking about the past. My wife and I had been swing with another couple, in seperate rooms, for a few months and the girls got the big idea to try it in the same bed. the men was on the bed when the ladies walked in and went to their partner for the night- as soon as I entered her and he saw it he bolted from the room- he just couldn't see another man having sex with his wife. Our relationship carried on for another year or so till they moved but never again in same bed.

[melways11 15]

Our first experience of swinging [with my ex] was a weekend with an experienced older couple. They told us separate rooms was nice and relaxing.

 

We went along with that but surprised. It worked fine. Nice to be so leisurely.

 

fun breakfast, getting snips of what went on in 'their' room, then a hot tub.

 

If she wants to go all the way and cut loose, then better without me there to check on her. Present activity is with my wife at party situations, just like performing seals!

[2ofakind33 15]

For now, we both say same room.. no exceptions. But after we get more experience in the lifestyle... we may change.

[egconfig 15]

Ashley said:

Just curious, those of you who do full swap....how many of you insist on same room? I'd make this one of those polls if I could figure out how....lol.

 

Same room -- it's as much of a turn on to watch & listen, and share

[brew82 15]

We took the progression from a year or so of soft swap into full swap just this year. Most of our pleasure comes from seeing our SO's pleasure so separate room doesn't make sense for us.

[cocpl2007 170]

Our first experience was the separate room gig, neither of us thought that much of the experience, for many reasons, separate rooms among them. Since being in the same room we've enjoyed the play much, much more. The combinations are endless, some one (or two, or three or four) are always finding a way to get more fun out of the evening, for old folks...having fun until the sun rises is...worth repeating!

[sweet_tna 680]

We've only done same room thus far, but have no objection to separate rooms. While we enjoy seeing each other please/be pleased by our playmates, it might be a nice change to be able to really focus on our playmate, too.

 

=)

[two42lovers 273]

We are open to either, but we especially like the dynamics two or three couples in the same bed. All the possible combinations make it very exciting, doing things we can't do between just the two of us. On the other side of the coin, we recently played with a couple in seperate rooms and we both found focusing on a new partner, 1-on-1, very intense and exciting.

[Ellyanne77 81]

We are same room only and the wife enjoys it that way. Our first couple actually split us up before we could figure out what was happening lol but eventually got back into the same room we just feel it works much better for us not as many questions. Plus part of the fun for us is watching each other. There is something extremely sexy about arms and legs and everything and just falling all over each other in a pile of sex lol.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

We've done both, but that was only because the club we were at was out of "foursome rooms" and only had "one-bed" rooms available.

 

We have no objections to separate room, if we're really cool with who we're playing with. But, generally speaking, it's usually same room.

[sc4play 17]

We have done both, but prefer same room, same bed play time. It makes for a lot of fun when you can see you SO being pleased.

[Islamorada 17]

We do both same room and differnt room swaps; however, on the first date with a new couple usually same room.

[Speed & Trixie 163]

I voted Always - Separate rooms not allowed.

 

Honestly, we have only ever had same room swap sessions. We have only had 3 experiences with another couple, the same couple even. But I do not believe we will ever want to go to separate room scenarios. There is just too much fun to be had watching Trixie get down on someone.

[Sophy 571]

We do both it depends

 

Same room = group sex, a lot of fun specially if the other girl is bi too.

Separate room = you can focus in your play-partner and get the best of him, some guys tend to get nervous in "same room situation"

[Fours Company 169]

I picked "same room always" only because it was closet but there should have been a selection something like "same room usually, but separate depending on the couple" and I think would be more applicable to a couples' decision than the layout of a club.

 

Until recently "same room always" would have been our only response, but we have bent that rule with friends of ours that we trust and are comfortable with. While we may consider this with other couples in the future once we get to know them well enough, but never at a first play or club environment. We play together because we enjoy seeing each other with someone else and an "always separate rooms" or a caviler "either way" would thus likely never be in our future cards.

[los_swingers 15]

We are full swap and have been doing same room, but last week we played in separate rooms and it felt more comfortable. Both of us like to focus on the partner we are playing with and being on the same bed or the same room can be distracting. If the other couple prefers separate room, we are all for it. ~Tina

[81lizard69 470]

We play same room.. There is nothing hotter to us than watching each other doing it. However, if one of us asked the other we would not mind if we did seperate rooms. We are still young and that might be fun.

[DirtyRed 21]

Although my husband and I haven't done a full swap, we have discussed this. We agreed that it would be same room. For me, I feel much more comfortable with him around, also, I do think it would be VERY exciting to watch him playing along with me doing the same!

[junglecouple 128]

def same room. More than 50% of the reason for swinging is seeing her! Otherwise we'd just stay home with a movie. I think if you feel otherwise, you're just looking for new, strange nookie, and this is a way to have that, with a cover story of "swinging". Just our opinion. My wife is the hottest thing I've seen, and watching her is the best thing of the night. Just another opinion.

[Swingularity 108]

Like both. Both have nice pluses. Same room is hot for watching and multiple interaction possibilities. Separate rooms is something we like because we look at it like a concurrent hall pass episode. I love idea of Mrs. S going away (whether a door away or a town away) for a "hotwife" type date. Comparing notes and getting play by play reports later when back alone leads to awesome reclamation sex.

 

Both same and separate good for us!