True solo playdates

[creamylips 16]

For those that are swingers with an open marriage. Do you just swing in seperate rooms, or do you and your partner play seperately all together on occassion?

The hubby and I swing and have individual play time. He'll arrange playtime with a galpal or 2, by himself, and I will occassionally do the same with a guypal.

 

It's a huge turn on for me when I know my hubby is off playing.How bout everyone else?

[unusualsuspects 26]

My wife and I have the same arrangement. Some days we just get the urge to play separately and pursue it for a while, and some days we want to play together.

 

I will say, and I'm sure you've noticed, that she has a lot more opportunity and options to play on her own. The lifestyle doesn't have as much leeway for single guys or married guys playing solo.

 

That being said, it's not truly a "cuckold" relationship nor whatever the opposite would be, but we do get a charge out of each other's experiences. I think that's what makes it work, honestly. When we get back home and together alone, we just *have* to catch each other up both story-wise and orgasm-wise.

 

Making that 4-way connection is still a goal for us that's stronger than the others, but we don't let it limit our options as we move towards it.

[creamylips 16]

Well, my hubby usually plays solo more than I do! He has a group of regular gal pals that he has playdates with, and every now an then a new gal is introduced. It really depends on the group of people that you know, and how well you have developed your own network.

He usually has solo playdates once,sometimes twice a week. I have solo play as I feel like it. Usually every other week or so- sometimes more, sometimes less. Then we have group play 2-3 times per month.We don't put limits on each other, and really don't keep track.We support and encourage each other in our solo play.

We don't put limits or constraints on a satisfying sex life. We do what really works for us, and as I said , we have been together in a loving marriage for 17 years- .

[willyoats 324]

We mostly do clubs where we are there together. We may do separate rooms or same room. On occasion each of us has had an afternoon delight when the other is out of town. In the past year, my wife just goes shopping or playing bridge while my play date is here in the house with me on our bed. The only restriction my wife has ever put on this kind of activity is that I don't sleep overnight with anyone.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

My wife and I always play together, same room. We've discussed playing solo, and there's a possibility this may occur in the future, but not for now. Personally, I'd be fine with her having sex without me there if I was not available for whatever reason. It'd be hotter than hell to get a phone call from her while she was going at it, and I could hear it all. We've agreed that if this ever were to happen though it'd have to be a man she's had sex with many times, whom we trust and she really enjoys.

[creamylips 16]

We mostly do clubs where we are there together. We may do separate rooms or same room. On occasion each of us has had an afternoon delight when the other is out of town. In the past year, my wife just goes shopping or playing bridge while my play date is here in the house with me on our bed. The only restriction my wife has ever put on this kind of activity is that I don't sleep overnight with anyone.

 

We don't sleep overnight with our playdates either- we prefer sleeping only with each other. Sometimes I am at home when hubby is having a playdate- if he is playing at home. If I am at home, I like to make sure that I have a nice meal and plenty of drinks flowing for him and his galpals, but otherwise I give him total privacy. But most of the time I make arrangements to be out of the house.He has a very healthy appetite, and has sex everday- wether it's with me or his lovely gals pals. But alot of the time hubby plays at his gals homes, or a hotel, or wherever he makes plans to play. I usually play solo when he is at work- because I have the house to myself- but I also play when he is at home too. When we are at group play with other couples and singles, it's usually at a home. Although group play while camping is marvelous!!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

 

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

[The Fuse 1,012]

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

 

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

No, I don't consider separate room swinging to be an "open marriage" activity. Even if you're with people from two different couples at a party. I think open marriage means that one or both partners is free to go find their own partners in general, not just at a party where the other spouse is present.

 

Mr. Fuse and I have had solo playdates, but it's the infrequent exception rather than the rule. I always have to have approval for who I have sex with, regardless of the venue or whether he is there. So in that sense even our solo playdates aren't "open". We don't have separate sex lives, in general.

[creamylips 16]

No- seperate room swinging is not an open marriage. Thats wandering around during group play! We actually group swing, and play solo totally apart from each other, and our seperate play may include several people. Open marriage is the freedom to explore other sexual partners, without having to ask or explain to your spouse.

Then there are times we have solo play dates in our home, while the other spouse is at home too. It's just a given that if it is designated solo play time and not group- we give total privacy to the other. They are still classified as actual solo playdates even though we may both be in the house at the same time. Because during solo playtime, the other spouse isn't involved at all, and isn't having any type of play time. I may be doing laundry upstairs, while he is partying with his galpals down in the basement.

We have a great basement with seperate entrance that works well for swing time and our own solo play dates. We do give each other the courtesy of letting each other know when we will be off playing, or using the basement.

[iapr 24]

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

 

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

 

I don't at all. We have always been pretty steadfast about only swinging together and that we do not play separately or go on "dates" with others but we have played in separate rooms with different halves of couples at partys before and it is open for consideration for future house parties.

 

I agree with you in that playing in separate rooms at a single location and a closed event is just a variation in swinging. You are arriving together, meeting and socializing with the same people together and you are ultimately leaving together.

 

What a houseparty environment does is just gives you a little more leeway and flexibility in matching each of your individual tastes. You are not as restricted to finding that ever so elusive 4-way click.

[Meetussoon 68]

We prefer fun together, same pile or room, but enjoy all the variations of play, together and separate. We have yet to do the weekend long - multiple day swap, but have close friends with whom we would love to trade for a weekend.

 

I (Tom) will be in Cleveland this week for work, and hope to find some fun on the road. IF so, Marie will know beforehand, may have spoken to the new friends, and will want all the details after.

 

 

We have thought about calling each other during the fun, but that might put the other person(s) in an uncomfortable spot. Over the years we have both had regular outside friends who we saw separately on a semi-regular basis (a few times a year). 95% of our separate play is with people we both have met and played with together.

 

So if your near Cleveland this week wed-sat May 13th-16th let us know.

 

Tom and Marie

[CXXC 435]

Mrs. CXXC and I started with solo play and moved to couple/couple play. We are both free to participate in solo play as we desire.

Our only requirements for these activities are that we must inform the other with as much advance notice as possible of the particulars, who, where, when etc... this ia a safety concern more than anything else. It is also agreed that we will send a text message to each other from the play place. This is also a REAL safety precaution. (signal triangulation and such)

 

We do enjoy sharing the experience with each other the next day as we sit sipping coffee or cuddled togehter in bed in the morning. It gets the passion going between us. It was when I told Mrs. CXXC all aobut my first solo activity that prompted her desire to do so as well. Once we were both active and enjoying this freedom, our next and natural step was to actively engage as a couple with couples.

 

Since moving to GA, we have not had a moment of solo play! Damn schedules!!! However, we are both free to do so when we are able.

[femnewb4u2 328]

For those of you in open marriages do you see a difference between solo play and and open marriage? Is there a line or definition that to you denotes solo play vs open marriage? Some times I see one in the way some speak but I would rather hear from you then to walk around with a bias in my meeting new couples of which I have no first hand knowledge.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

For those of you in open marriages do you see a difference between solo play and and open marriage? Is there a line or definition that to you denotes solo play vs open marriage? Some times I see one in the way some speak but I would rather hear from you then to walk around with a bias in my meeting new couples of which I have no first hand knowledge.

 

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

Well put. We very occasionally will do solo play as you have described it. We do not have an open marriage.

[rpu3 630]

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

 

I am actually in an open marriage, and I would NEVER consider having sex with someone other than my spouse without prior notification AND agreement. If that is one's dividing line, that's all good and well, but it's not necessarily where some or all of us in an open marriage would place that dividing line. I've said plenty of times that trying to define open marriage is no less complicated than defining swinging given it ultimately ends up being a "YMMV" issue, much less trying to define both open marriage and how that differs from solo play.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I am actually in an open marriage, and I would NEVER consider having sex with someone other than my spouse without prior notification AND agreement. If that is one's dividing line, that's all good and well, but it's not necessarily where some or all of us in an open marriage would place that dividing line. I've said plenty of times that trying to define open marriage is no less complicated than defining swinging given it ultimately ends up being a "YMMV" issue, much less trying to define both open marriage and how that differs from solo play.

Wow. I might have to re-adjust how I define the terms "solo play" and "open marriage". Help me! JoAnn and I have both had dates on our own, each time saying, "Say, hon, how 'bout I ask so-and-so for a date next Wednesday," knowing that no objection is going to be voiced. So what is it? I never thought it was called open marriage.

[rpu3 630]

Wow. I might have to re-adjust how I define the terms "solo play" and "open marriage". Help me! JoAnn and I have both had dates on our own, each time saying, "Say, hon, how 'bout I ask so-and-so for a date next Wednesday," knowing that no objection is going to be voiced. So what is it? I never thought it was called open marriage.

 

I don't think I'm going to declare "what is it". I've said in other threads that there would be no more agreement for these terms than there is for "swinging".

 

I consider myself being in an open marriage because my spouse and I are open to whatever might come up, in perhaps a more emotional or relationship-sense. However, I'm not quite cut out for poly. I suspect my definition of solo play would incorporate a less involved approach.

 

My personal definitions just denote a difference in potential involvement. Neither of my definitions are permission-based - it is a personal choice that I would discuss things with my spouse prior to any potential involvement. The problem is again, there's no firm definition for either term. It means whatever you think it should, so it's fair to say my usage directly contradicts yours, just like I didn't agree on some eles's definition.

[Trace Ekies 186]

The closest we've come to seperate room play started with all in the same room. It was before a party and we ended up having sex. When it came time for a shower, my partner and I jumped in the shower in their room and Mrs. Ekies and her partner went across the hall to ours.

 

She got screwed pretty hard and I got a hell of a BJ...very nice.

 

Our conversations from the beginning of our lifestyle journey have been based on the "together in the same room" premise.

 

We have had conversations about swinging seperately but we've decided that we want to experience everything together and will keep our playtime to when we both are present.

 

I feel certain that this will change in the future when an opportunity arises...but I don't expect or want to have an open marriage.

 

Trace