TMI on significant other's playdates?

[swvacouplelookn 33]

Just curious here, but how do you feel about getting all the juicy and/or brutal details of your significant other's play dates when playing alone? It will be interesting to hear the reasons behind your answers as well.

[HardTongue 31]

We started with swinging and it wasn't long before I found what an erotic turn on it was for my wife to screw other men. It wasn't long before I encouraged her to date others. At the time she had already met (and fucked) a young fellow who she had met. With my encouragement she started to go out to meet fellows at the club or hotel bars. It was such a turn on to have her return from a date with a smile on her face, cock on her breath and cum in her cunt. This was back in the 70's/80's so AIDS wasn't a problem and she was careful but ALWAYS took the bareback. She told me all the details as she undressed and got into bed and continued as I ate the cum from her freshly fucked cunt. It was a super turn-on for both of us. For several days afterwards I would still be super horny just thinking about the experience.

[swvacouplelookn 33]

I see a few votes for not knowing every detail already. Would you who have voted please explain why you feel the way you voted? Thanks.

[PB&J 1,086]

Well, because I don't need to know every detail. And the same for him. When we play separately at parties, we share tidbits with each other, and the one time I have played solo so far, WE did talk about it, but not blow-by-blow (so to speak). Reconnecting afterwards doesn't have to mean telling everything.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I think like everything else, it's about what turns you on. Hearing the details is a desire of some people and not of others.

[swvacouplelookn 33]

I think like everything else, it's about what turns you on. Hearing the details is a desire of some people and not of others.

 

I am sure you're absolutely right. There can be some bittersweet moments with all of this. Some of us have more bitter moments than others in the LS. The sweet definitely outweighs the bitter for those of us who continue to enjoy it. But, for each of us there is a differing amount and cause for the bitter at times, right? I suppose that's human nature as well as years of vanilla conditioning.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I am sure you're absolutely right. There can be some bittersweet moments with all of this. Some of us have more bitter moments than others in the LS. The sweet definitely outweighs the bitter for those of us who continue to enjoy it. But, for each of us there is a differing amount and cause for the bitter at times, right? I suppose that's human nature as well as years of vanilla conditioning.

 

Do you think those who don't have a desire to hear details are trying to avoid those bitter moments? Because hearing the details of my husband's exploits doesn't make me feel remotely bad... it just doesn't turn me on that much, so I don't necessarily seek out those details. If it turned him on to tell me, or vice versa, we'd do it and relish it. It's just not a motivator.... but it's not a negative either. I'd call it a mild turn-on for me. We get our jollies in other ways.

[swvacouplelookn 33]

Do you think those who don't have a desire to hear details are trying to avoid those bitter moments? Because hearing the details of my husband's exploits doesn't make me feel remotely bad... it just doesn't turn me on that much, so I don't necessarily seek out those details. If it turned him on to tell me, or vice versa, we'd do it and relish it. It's just not a motivator.... but it's not a negative either. I'd call it a mild turn-on for me. We get our jollies in other ways.

 

I think that's basically what I'm curious about with this thread in the first place. In the grand scheme of things it's a turn-on to know our significant others are feeling pleasure and giving it as well. Some people may have "moments" where not EVERY single detail is such a turn-on. Or, in fact, could bring on those humanly natured reactions for a bit. Let's face it, especially when we were first starting this we had to undo years of society's teaching that we SHOULDN'T like this sort of thing. It's just my take on it.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Some people may have "moments" where not EVERY single detail is such a turn on.

 

So you mean to address this question to people who ordinarily find it a turn-on, but have experienced those "moments"?

[Guest rdy46227]

Just curious here, but how do you feel about getting all the juicy and/or brutal details of your significant other's play dates when playing alone? It will be interesting to hear the reasons behind your answers as well.

 

It would be nice to see the answers broken down by sex. I suspect men are more interested in details than women...

[swvacouplelookn 33]

If by "moments" you mean flashes of jealousy or insecurity, that's not the case... it's simply not a big turn-on for me to have him describe everything they did. The lack of a turn-on does not mean it's a turn-off.

 

I understand you completely. As for me, I think it's more of a taking in details slowly thing. My wife and I are still getting used to dealing with any negative emotions a bit even after more than a year in this!

[swvacouplelookn 33]

It would be nice to see the answers broken down by sex. I suspect men are more interested in details than women...

 

You may very well be right.

[CXXC 435]

We share every detail. I like to hear everything from her activities in order to learn more about pleasing Mrs. CXXC.

She enjoys hearing the tale as she lives her bi-sexual nature through me vicariously. In the end, we both just HAVE to have each other!

[PB&J 1,086]

It's not that I'll be turned off by the details, or have any negative emotions like jealousy- I just don't get excited by the details. I like to know that he had a good time- but I also don't mind giving him some space, and I appreciate getting that space in return. I have not felt a twinge of jealousy in the year and a half we've been at this- actually, I've been amazed at how little of society's conditioning survived that first-time experience.

[willyoats 324]

I voted for all the juicy details. Trouble is that my wife often either couldn't recall all the stuff they did or got bored telling it before it all came out.

 

However, two of my female "playful" friends are widows whose husbands did not ever want to know anything about their wives' afternoon delights.

[swvacouplelookn 33]

It seems that so far about 70% want every detail and about 30% want some details. Nobody has voted for knowing nothing about the encounters of their s/o. I figure so far this is in line with what I expected.

[sweet_tna 680]

I think we're the reverse of most couples here in that I'm the one who would want to hear all the details (IF Mr. Sweet ever took the leap and played alone). Mr. Sweet is fine with me giving him the general outline of what happened and knowing I had fun.

 

=)

[PB&J 1,086]

Actually, just last week PB had his first solo fun, and I didn't ask for anything. Didn't matter, except that he (and she!) had a good time (and both assured me that they did)

[GerdOEvert 51]

Two things.

 

I think this web site is a way to share details. We all read it to learn new things, and new approaches. And to share our thoughts and approaches. Nothing like this in the 70's and 80's.

 

As for details, Eileen and I loved to share them. Sometimes she would swing with a lover or a ffm or mmf in a closed room. Sometimes she would play while I was on travel. I loved hearing what she did and the order in which it was done.

 

After she finished a closed room, it was so sexy to hear, kiss, taste, tongue, and fuck. I love sloppy second and creme pie. I also loved to watch her give head, or play with another lady. Sexy sexy sexy. Her breasts which were nice, were sometimes massaged with creamy cum.

 

The most erotic thing she did was to have a lover over on Sunday morning when I took the two kids to the children's museum. They would play for several hours, and then she would tell me, and I would do her more. We both enjoyed that. She is highly sexed, especially just at the beginning of the changes.

 

Otto and Eileen

[pxjcp 15]

I vote for the details which I consider a total turn-on for me, but a male friend of mine didn't want to know anything when his wife went out for the first time... it was freaking him out, not about the date but that she would compare her time with him to her date. I told him man, get a grip... she loves you, adores you, and y'all have a great sexual relationship. He darn near went over the deep end. So she had to stop dating. The swing only together now.

[Brian and Jo 344]

We always share the details after we have played alone with another partner. For us that is one of the benefits of our open marriage. It is a huge turn on for both of us to hear what the other did and invariably leads to some great sex of our own.

[Guest mysticon]

I don't necessarily have to hear every single detail, but the details do turn me on; it was a turn on for me when my fiance was giving pleasure to another woman, and being pleasured by her. My fiance was the one who actually wasn't so much into details. I would have actually loved to watch him with someone else, but he and the woman he was seeing; weren't into that sort of thing.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I voted for all the juicy details. Trouble is that my wife often couldn't recall all the stuff they did

 

LOL, isn't it amazing how we are all different. I'm a person that can experience something and it's in my memory for a long time to come. I can recall the tiniest of things that made something great but my wife is the type of person that is into the moment but afterwards can only recall a few details.

 

There has been many times that I have watched her in the heat of the moment and I'll say something like "I loved it when you did ..." and she will be like "I did that?" and I will burst out laughing.

 

I love the details and they really get me charged sexually and I love to reflect on those memories. For her, it's all about the passion she feels when she's playing and the feelings of it is much more important.

[Adam-n-Eve 223]

We don't really share a lot of details. It's just not that much of a turn on for us. However, it has nothing to do jealousy or a fear of "bitter times." We don't really get jealous. As others have said, we want to know that the other one had a good time.

 

It seems like a lot of people get turned on just by the idea of their spouse having sex with others. We've always assumed that it's a plurality of couples get into the lifestyle for just that reason. Guys seem to like it more than the women do, but there are definitely a lot of women who like it as well.

 

But, it's just not that big a draw for us. I kinda wish it did turn me on more, since the whole idea of talking about it and getting all worked up sounds like fun.

 

- Adam

[mixtupcpl 169]

As is the case with most polls, the choices tend to be loaded to provide the answer that the pollster sort of wants.

 

This isn't a criticism mind you, its just human nature.

 

I really don't want to answer any of those because I don't feel they're representative. I wouldn't consider hearing details a "turn-on" per say, or certainly not the *level* of turn-on it is for guys who take it almost to fetish level, but the details don't in any way bother me. Pretty much the same for Mrs. Mix.

 

It kind of just depends on mood. I'm not sure what would be meant by "no details". Is "have a good time?" asking for details? There have been plenty of times Ive just said "how was your night?"

 

I can say there are *definitely* a subset of (mainly?) men who would enthusiastically check box one because their kink is pretty much the "hotwife/cuck" thing. And I do know that there are some open folks I know who have a kind of "don't ask/don't tell" policy which I don't get personally, but which works for them.

 

The vast majority of people, though, are probably going to fall somewhere in the middle, but mainly in the way I describe above. It isn't like you have a consistent policy of asking for some/none/all detail, its more that on a given day, you may be more curious than another.

 

Then there have been other times Ive said "so what were YOU up to tonight? And then still other times when that has lead to a deeper talk where I'm curious to know everything.

[olderyder 15]

Why do I have to have any interest in the details? During our three years in the LS, I have been consistently rejected by the females in the LS. The only times I have not been rejected, it has been in a situation where the male half of the other couple is totally unacceptable to my Mrs either because of age or looks. Seeing as how the only sex available to me is doing MFM with my Mrs or watching her do somebody else, been there, done that, ad nauseum. It doesn't interest me anymore.

[Playful1 434]

i am single, but its complicated, and to that extent, this answer is regarding the guy i am involved with...

 

i love hearing every bit of it! i find it hot to hear about his experience and what he thought of people and all the fun he had. It pretty much always makes me want to jump him, lol. My first question after i know he's been playing the night before, is 'so, how was your night?'

 

[MN Tom 251]

We like to share the details, and how deep we go into detail sharing all depends on how we feel at the time. Neither of us has gone into a porn story minutiae detail listing, more so of a general feeling and thoughts type of rendition with some physical details about it.

 

I would say I like to hear the details more than my wife does.

[janaandjames 24]

I don't do it often, but he loves staying at home imagining what I am doing. When I get home he is sooooo turned on and wants some detail. He tells me which details he wants. I generally get a really nice second helping of sex then

 

He has never expressed a desire to play alone. I think other than whether he had a good time would be all I would want to know.

[BigNikki 44]

Big Nikki here.

 

Sorry, we just don't fit into the poll categories.

 

Sometimes we like to tell and sometimes we don't.

 

Sometimes we want to hear and sometimes that's just too boring.

 

But the good part is the game we play -- sometimes telling sometimes withholding when the other is eager to hear. It's a tease, of course, and it can be a delicious tease.

 

Just writing about it is getting me excited. John is away, it's Sunday and the wife next door isn't free, but my Lelo is fully charged.

 

-- Big Nikki

[weplay 20]

We've done some separate play, mostly with one couple. On one of those occasions, we dated separately and spent the night roughly 100 miles apart.

 

It wasn't a perfect storm. There were cell coverage issues so she didn't call as promised. When we regrouped the next day, she told me that he fucked her FIVE times during the night and morning. That little gem was a tad intimidating. He's around 15 years my junior, too.

 

Recently, we've met and spent time with another couple. She has a bf who is probably the poster child for the perfect single male. Good looking, lots of class, knows his place and gets along well with the husbands, me included.

 

She has shared her bf with my wife. During a recent outing, they got a little time alone. The couple also plays alone and wifey really likes the hubby. She has a hall pass to see either of them alone.

 

Yes, I enjoy hearing about her experiences. We won't play separately all of the time, but she likes having some alone time and I'm cool with giving her that experience.

 

We celebrate 33 years of married life next week. We're very tight and best friends. Just letting our hair down and having some thrills while we still can.