Am I a bi guy?

[weatenan 16]

My wife and I generally do mfm threesomes. When we are not enjoying another's company we still like to branch out and try new things. I was always curious with the male g-spot and her finger wasn't cutting it. so she used a strap-on with me and low and behold it worked!

 

we had one male partner we would have a mfm threesome with that was a consistent thing for about 6 or 7 months and we often made accidental contact while trying new positions and there would be the occasional "oops" or "sorry" thrown in there.

 

One night he accidentally made contact and apologized, not a split sec later and my wife replies, "No, don't be, he likes that". He wasn't shocked at all, just asked if I was bi, and I said no not really. She told him about the strap-on and he asked if I had ever been with a man? Obviously saying no, he told me I could touch him if I wished. So I did. The whole thing got out of control. Nothing over rated, just hands and mouth involved. I have had a creampie from my wife before so I don't know why I didn't swallow.

 

I enjoyed myself, just wish I hadn't had done it. But the other part of me thinks about it all the time and my wife asked me if I would go all the way if she was there? I haven't gotten back to her about that. I don't know what to think about all of this. It happened quite a while ago but I could still get in touch with him if need be. What do you think?

[hhead 15]

I just turned 70 and have quite a few experiences that I can draw on to answer your question. First , sex is just that, sex. It's a pleasurable release. It can come about thru m/m or f/m contact. In the absence of any female contact for a while(wife died) I found a few guys that thought like me and we partied and had fun until I finally found a lady who loves sex and can handle all kinds of situations. You're not Bi, but rather a lover of sexual pleasure. I think it's not a state of mind ,but rather a state of being.

 

Get hard and get off.

[qreskupl7476 137]

I would have to say that IMHO, you probably ARE bi, or at least bi curious, but I wouldn't call it a bad thing, especially if your wife has no problem with it. From the sound of things, your wife may even be turned on by it, so what's the problem? You say you wish you wouldn't have done it. Is that because you didn't enjoy it, or because you have some shame issues because of the boundaries society and probably your upbringing have placed on you? You're obviously open minded enough to enjoy sharing your wife, so why not be open minded enough to allow yourself to experience something outside of conventional boundaries if you enjoy it? I have no idea why, in a community like the swinging lifestyle, occupied by supposedly sexually open minded people, there is such a stigma about bi men while women are allowed, even encouraged, to be totally and openly bi and it's all good. If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever you and your wife enjoy and feel comfortable doing together. If you're worried about other peoples' perceptions, just don't make it public knowledge. You can always reserve that portion of your sexuality for "special" friends that are open minded enough to handle it, and keep it to yourself otherwise.

 

I'm not bi myself, but I would never presume to deny someone else the right to be if they so desired. To me the thought of it is pure hypocrisy. You have nothing to be ashamed of IMHO, and if you enjoy it, I say go for it and have fun. Just my $.02.

[weatenan 16]

Wow, thanks to the both of you. You are probably right that my regrets are drawn from my raising and surrounding social community life style. I've always felt that when the door closes nothing has to be let out of that door so one should be themselves and not hold back on desires or fantasies. I just wouldn't want to disrespect the other person involved by ensure the fact that it would not be an open door policy on discussion or that I have desires of anything that my wife would not be involved in or at least there in the room. We have been out of touch for a while and have a new mate my wifey enjoys, but maybe I will have to bring the other guy back. Will be some food for thought that I will have to think about.

[lardub 170]

You only live once, me thinks society labels stuff to much. Gay, lesbian, queer, Bi-sexual, transgendered, straight, curious, and a few others I've come across lately that tend to put a twist on any of the afore mentioned labels.

 

To be honest, I've had same sex relations (oral) and loved it, is it a main staple of my sex life no, but in noway would I rule it out with the right male. One of the things I like to get right out in the open is that if that something lets say by "accident" happens like a touch, lick, or even some pre-cum gets spread around, no biggie. Just don't hit me in the eye lol...

[IvoryTowers 380]

My understanding of orientation is that it involves attraction to a gender, not just an act. That's why men in all male settings (like prison or boarding schools) will have sexual contact with other men without considering themselves gay (or bi).

 

If you would think about being with a man sexually and are attracted to men as well as women (although maybe less than women) you are probably bi (which is just fine, honestly). If you think about specific acts, you are probably just curious and open minded. Lots of people are willing to explore, especially in the context of a threesome where there's less pressure to go all the way. Labeling that as a specific orientation (I am bi) is overkill.

[joaninla 162]

Lots of people are willing to explore, especially in the context of a threesome where there's less pressure to go all the way. Labeling that as a specific orientation (I am bi) is overkill.

 

I agree. Our favorite sexual activity is an MFM. My husband who really enjoys going down on me after someone else as cum inside me, will not go down on a guy himself. Go figure; I'm fine with it-encouraged him, would probably even get turned on by seeing him take a cock in his mouth, but he hasn't (yet?) felt comfortable with it.

 

Whatever turns you on!

[Rackir 159]

You played with another man, and enjoyed it. Yup, you're Bi, though probablly only to a very minor degree. Now the question becomes, what do you do with that knowledge?

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I would say, it doesn't matter to anyone but yourself (and maybe your wife) what your sexual preferences are (straight, bi-curious, bi-sexual, situationally bisexual, whatever).

 

I would say that you're currently in an "experimental" stage where you're trying different things. (Much like we all did growing up and discovering our sexual preferences as children & adolescents)

 

Just because you try it a few times (just to see if it's something you'd like) doesn't automatically lock you into any specified label.

 

If you decide further down the road after trying different things that you wish to identify yourself by whatever label you choose... be happy with your choice and enjoy it.

[bathes 17]

Sounds good, you're a lucky man. I'm not bi but sounds like your wife wants it for you and her. What's the downside?

[bathes 17]

Do most women want their men to try bi? Is this a major turn-on for women as female to female is for males?

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Do most women want their men to try bi? Is this a major turn-on for women as female to female is for males?

 

Based on what I've read / seen ... most of the gals I know are still a bit uncomfortable with male-on-male interactions (bisexual or gay) ...however, there is a growing minority out there who REALLY like it and think it's just as hot as the guys who enjoy watching female-on-female stuff.

[biplayfulcouple 20]

There is a MF couple that my wife and i play with. Our play started out, the first few times, as the guys being straight and the girls being bi. Then it evolved to the girls encouraging the guys to try BI. So now, in addition to straight-guy and bi-girl play, the guys play BI too. The girls get extremely turned on to MM play and even more excited, when the play is shared, like MF on M, bj's. (ok the guys do too). A couple of times during our frenzied foursomes, there has been FF anal, MF anal and MM anal penetration; to eveyones pleasure and satisfaction. I never dreamed that i would engage in MM oral, much less, MM anal. My wife and I have always enjoyed anal and my wife has always enjoyed giving it to me. But I never really contemplated "doing it", with another guy. (found out, it has been "the other couples fantasy for a long time). Everyone had a great time and no one felt bad about it, one bit. We chalked it up to the; "its just sex", category. You only live once. Your wife obviously enjoys it, as does your partners. No one other than they, will ever know your secret. Quit kicking yourself and toss the guilt that society hangs, on us guys. You are with your wife and you have nothing to feel bad about. Its just sex.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I've experienced the unavoidable incidental contact with another man during a threesome with girlfriends and an ex wife. I've never considered it to be anything bi or gay.

 

I had a girlfriend who during foreplay started rubbing her fingers through the crack of my ass, over my anus, over my balls and up along my cock and repeated doing that each time pressing her finger harder against my anus until she started to penetrate it. She was teasing me. We were both extremely horny ( and drunk) and we were both in the stage of exploring each others sexuality. It was unexpected. No one had ever done that to me before. It felt good and when she knew it she pushed her finger as deep into my ass as she could. She had the most devilish look on her face as she worked her finger in my ass. It was the same thing as me working my finger in her pussy. I never thought that her having her finger in my ass was anything gay or bi.

 

She took it farther one time by taking the vibrator I had used to get her started and putting that into my ass and turning it on. I let her play. She was having fun and it felt good vibrating in my ass. That was a new experience for me. She loved using the vibrator in my ass as much as I loved using it on her pussy.

 

She picked out a double ended dildo on one of our safaris to the adult store. I didn't think anything about it at the time. It was one of those "how 'bout this honey?" and "uh huh" as I looked at the huge dildos I was fantasizing about squeezing into her hoping she would pick one of those and considering getting one for her. She ended up putting one end in my ass and the other end in her ass. We pressed ourselves against each other trying to push as much of the dildo into each other as we could. We both masturbated ourselves until we came. I remember shooting my cum on her chest and stomach making her cum not long after.

 

I let her play with me anyway she wanted. There was not a moment that I thought that anything I was doing was bi or gay until she started bringing gay DVD's home for us to watch together. I was not interested in watching two guys having sex. I was thinking she was trying to get me back for her watching porno with me. There was some girl on girl scenes but it was never advertised as a feature. I was turned on by the girl on girl scenes and was hoping that maybe that would be something we could explore sometime. As she watched the gay porno she would masturbate herself to an orgasm. It soon became obvious that she wanted to turn the tables on me and wanted to watch me have sex with another man. That was just something I didn't want to do.

 

I like women. I LOVE women. I LOVE pussy for all the reasons that most men love women and their pussies. I get horny and hard thinking about having sex with women of all shapes, sizes and colors. I got horny and hard thinking about her putting her finger or a vibrator or a dildo in my ass. But whenever I had flashes of another man doing that to me my hard on went the opposite direction.

 

Natural selection?

[Karmickiss 28]

Hi All,...ooo, good one.

 

Being bisexual myself, I have endless comments about it all... But I thought of something when I was reading this thread. My late partner, was quite an bit older than me, actually his first born was my age! My partner, was a beautiful man, inside and out....and very much the "alpha male" some ways. He looked and fit the part, outwardly at least. Something about his generation...his son I mentioned is bi-sexual. It took a while for Sandy to get used to the idea that his son is bi-sexual , and he blamed it on how he grew up. He was able to go beyond tolerance. He felt ashamed that he wasn't more supportive years ago, when his son first came out to him. He did make amends the best he could.

 

I have always been very open about my sexuality. I loved talking about sex...he loved talking during, maybe but afterwards, it took a while. Once we did start two way conversing, he started an exploration process...that I feel honored to have been a part of, with him. It started off slowly, and completely by his idea and pace, but I started using my fingers,while giving oral, or while he self stimulated. We tried all kinds of things, gently, and he got more and more enthusiastic. We took a trip to the local adult store and purchased some toys. He was joking with the clerk, and so happy, I loved this period of time we had together. He said that by stimulating the prostate, the orgasms and pleasure overall was so magnified for him. When I was in school, I took every human sexuality course I could find...lol...along with intuition and fun loving exploration, I like to use my hands with either gender.

 

Back to what I started. I recall one sunny afternoon we were driving down a major highway, after a wonderful weekend alone with each other in southern Maine. We both love the ocean so..and the area...and had a excellent trip inside the hotel room, too . He was smiling and we were chitchatting, and he said to me, "I can't even begin to tell you how free I have been feeling, since we started to explore more, 'you know'" I said I was glad to hear it, and he told me, "(karmic), I thought all my life when I reached this age life would be over. But really, it's only now, at the age of 50, that I feel like a truly free man, and totally myself. I didn't even know who I was before". I will always remember that, it felt so good.The rest of our years together, this kind of play continued on and off. And that whole thing was brought on from the exploring things for him he'd never have felt able to explore. I recall at this time, I started bringing him with me to a few gay clubs...he was truly beautiful to look at, and everywhere we went he was a bigtime lure for gay men of all ages, as well as women. He absolutely loved and really started flirting happily back with the more charming men, with me right there and getting a thrill out of it, actually. He never did anything with a man...but said that had he started exploring earlier in his life, he probably would have gone there.

 

I don't know how to answer for anyone else, if they are "bi" or not. I think just going with the flow of what feels natural, and celebrating yourself, no matter what you end up deciding to identify as, is a good idea. You are the only none who can have the last say... Thanks for sharing.