Having a few couples over with kids in the house

[Mr&MsRasmus 15]

Me and hubby are 3 days away from hosting our first house party,we're probably gonna have 4 more couples coming over and our daughters(age 1 and 3) will be at home since we have no family living nearby and we've had problems with sitters before...For couples that swing with kids at home often or have hosted get togethers like the one we're about to host we'd like some opinions,suggestions,past experiences in situations like that???

[PB&J 1,086]

First of all, welcome to the board. It's a great place to hang out.

 

My suggestion is don't do it. Sure having a house party would be fun, but how do you ensure that your children don't see or hear anything that they should, as children, be protected from? 1 and 3? Certainly old enough to be climbing out of bed and looking for mommy if they need a drink/have a nightmare/whatever. Now picture what they might encounter. And how they'd react. And how you'd feel.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

 

I have to agree with PB&J that it's a bad idea to have any children present during a swinger party. In my book of rules, kids should not be present where swinging is likely to occur.

 

Even if I were open to it, I think it would be difficult to completely relax and enjoy hosting a party knowing my children may need my care or attention at any time. Will I hear them cry if they are upset or hurt? Will they surprise me and walk in when they shouldn't?

 

Have you let those you've invited know that your children will be present? If I learned this, I wouldn't attend a party. And if I wasn't told in advance and discovered it when I arrived, I'd be upset and would leave immediately.

 

I wouldn't have the party unless I could send our kids to a babysitter.

 

With all the work - and money - it takes to plan a swinger party, I don't understand why parents couldn't find a babysitter if they put the same effort into that project...but then, I don't have children so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

 

LM

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Have you let those you've invited know that your children will be present?

 

That was my question and thought as well.

If you haven't let them know, you could have some very pissed off guests come party time.

 

Bottom line for us: If babysitting or other child care arrangements can't be made, then there is no party. If we go to a party, expecting the possibility of play-time, and there are kids present, we're not going to be there very long.

 

Please, do what you can to find a child-care alternative. You'll have a lot more fun that way, and you will have some very happy guests.

 

Good luck!

[wpafuncpl 15]

If we go to a party, expecting the possibility of play-time, and there are kids present, we're not going to be there very long.

 

Please, do what you can to find a child-care alternative. You'll have a lot more fun that way, and you will have some very happy guests.

 

Good luck!

 

Agree completely. We know a couple that hosted a party with their kids there. The invited guests were completely surprised by their presence. No one wanted to play because of it. Not a good thing no matter how you plan it.

[Guest achtung73]

Dont do it!! Postpone the good times until the children are elsewhere..otherwise theyll be scarred for life, over your 8 hours of good times...not worth it..murphys law dictates them kids are gonna be curious about new people in the house, and they will certainly walk into something that will not understand.

[Alura 2,774]

With that many people, I think the children should go somewhere else for the evening. When our kids were that age we sometimes played when they were at home, but never with more than one other couple. Even then, we would keep our play well away from the kids. The pool worked well since we had a good view of the back door and a motion-sensing light would alert us should the kids come out. We would have had plenty of time to "get right" before they got to the pool. The bedroom worked well because the doors have locks.

 

Five couples can make a bit of noise when playing. Worse, the noises would be some that your kids are likely not really used to, which are more apt to wake them up.

 

Drop-in baby sitting services are available. We, too, didn't like them because the care for the kids tends to be a bit "impersonal." Still, it beats hell out of a situation with two young kids in the house while ten people are fucking with not a single thought of the kids in their minds. Both y'all and your guests would be far more at ease if the kids are away.

 

Mr. Alura

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Agree with the above. We would not host if our children were home, and would not be comfortable at any party with children present, no matter the age.

 

And to Likeminds point - I would not be able to relax as a mother if my young children were home. I would constantly be worried that it's too loud, I wouldn't be able to hear them, will the 3yr old get out of bed and come into party area....

 

No, it's not a good idea. We know how difficult it can be to find babysitters with no family nearby, but we kept trying until we found one we were comfortable with.

[good times 991]

I agree with the others, don't do it. If I showed up to a house party and the hosts had their kids there, I would be pissed. I would also guess that when word gets around you would have a hard time getting anyone to play with you in the future, let alone come to your house parties. Kids and swinging do not mix.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have to ditto everyone else! Please please please postpone the party till you can get a sitter.

 

At the very least make sure your guests know that your kids will be home before they arrive, do not surprise them with it.

 

That said, I'm sure that others who are coming also have kids and perhaps they can help you with finding a sitter to take yours.

[LFM2 1,482]

to the Swingers Board!! Since I agree with those above, I have nothing new to add, I just wanted to welcome you and hope to see you around the various forums.

[JTcamp05 9]

More than one other couple would be very hard to control, I would not be having any thing like that with my children present.

 

I think you could have another couple over & enjoy each other in privacy after the kids are tucked away for the night, but more than one other trusted coulpe...I think not!

[livinitup77 15]

Agree with everyone else. and curious as to what you have decided to do.

[VegasLee 1,486]

In over 30 years in this Lifestyle I can promise you this is one of the worst ideas you can possibly come up with.

 

You don't have to believe me, hit google news and do a search about the people that have ended up on T.V. and in court for trying nonsense like this.

 

You HAVE to put the kids first. If you can't find a baby sitter, go do something with the kids and have a good time.

[Mr&MsRasmus 15]

Hi again guys,thanks for all the replies and me and hubby thought about it and u guys were right it would be too many people,kids would probably wake up in the middle of the fun because of the noise,so only two of our most trusted couple are going to be coming over,they even know my kids and everything,so it's only going to be a really small get together,with couples we know,they know our kids situation,they have the same situation themselves so i think it's going toa really smooth and fun night.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Even with 2 couples, 6 people.... can get noisy.

 

So are you still planning this as a "house party", or just a vanilla get-together with friends?

[PB&J 1,086]

Even with 2 couples, 6 people.... can get noisy.

 

Agreed. Two couples, four couples.. you are still planning to play in your home with your two young children upstairs. What is your priority here... your fun or your children?

[swing_style 15]

Welcome to the board! I have to agree here with everyone one else here. I can't imagine having a house party with children in the home, I would constantly be worrying about the kids seeing/hearing something they shouldn't, and it wouldn't matter rather it was one single person or 20 people.

[Swing*8701 887]

Wow, everyone tried to fix 'stupid' and 'stupid'; just kept going in a new, yet same, direction.

 

I know if we went to a swing party and there were kids in the house, we'd be out the door.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Okay, I'm going to don my flak jacket and speak for the other side.

 

We don't have kids. But... our swing partners who've had kids appear to be good parents. Their kids seem well-behaved, well-loved, and well-adjusted. If they say their kids won't wake up, and they seem really comfortable with the idea of playing downstairs while the kids are asleep upstairs, then we're not going to contradict them when it comes to their parenting. We have sometimes not chosen to play under those circumstances, but we have also done it.

 

I know as well as anyone that anything can happen, but again, I feel like if a parent is comfortable and feels very relaxed about it, who am I to tell them they are wrong?

[sweet_tna 680]

I have young children, and they've never been ones to come downstairs to our room when they woke up at night. So when we first started swinging, we tried having a couple over to play while they were sleeping. I gotta' tell you from personal experience, I had trouble really relaxing and enjoying. And I'd feel guilty afterward. It just wasn't worth it, so now if we can't get a sitter, we don't play.

 

If you proceed with your plan, I hope it doesn't backfire on you, for the kids' sake.

[xxoticangel 99]

We have played with another couple with kids (sometimes theirs sometimes ours) in the house. They were vanilla friends that became playmates so all the kids were used to being around each other and the adults. After the kids are asleep lock the bedroom door.

 

That said, I think hosting a house party or even more than one couple is a bad idea. Too much opportunity for the kids to be exposed to something they shouldn't.

[Additude 457]

Well then, tell us how it went. Did all end well? No problems?

[todesireu 16]

we attended a house party once where one of the couples brought their kids because of babysitter issues. certainly put a damper on the party and two couples even left on account of it.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

My wife and I decided early on that we would never even tangentially involve our kids in anything swing related. This means we don't host at our house, and most likely never will until the kids are out on their own.

 

Now, if after they are out on their own with their own lives, and they walk in unannounced at 1 a.m. and find mommy on the couch with three men, that's their problem

[Willing29 66]

First priority needs to be you kids. If you cant get out of the house or get a sitter then it's time to hold off on playtime w/ others. Just my 2 cents!

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Lets talk reality here. If the kids accidentaly see sexual activity I doubt it is going to harm them or ruin their lives. I dont think there are probobly many of us here that didnt walk in on our parents in a compromising position and we arent messed up. So it will most likely not hurt the kids.

 

The problem is that kids talk with other kids. So at minimum there is a chance to be outed. The biggest reason not to have several couples over though is much worse than being outed. If little Billy tells his friend than he saw mom and dad naked and doing stuff with Mr. and Mrs. x and y and a teacher overhears the problems can start. Next thing the school counselor is talking with Billy and then Child protective services is brought in.Trust me it wont be good. While couples x and y probobly wont be charged they will be questioned and outed. Since there is more than one couple over at the house and I am sure all will have a drink or two there is no way in hell you can defend that it wasnt a sex party. Your kids are now gone and in a foster home and it will take lots of time and money to get them back, and thats if you can get them back.

 

So my advice, is dont hold a swing party with kids in the house.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Ed & Bunny's description might seem paranoia like or severe. But, regardless, remember this: When it comes to Child Protective Services, you are assumed to be guilty until there's iron clad proof you're innocent. I've had two different extend family members fall victim to them. Jack booted thugs is a nice, appreciative term for them. I could think of more choice words, but none would be an inappropriate exaggeration of how terrible they are. You just don't want to begin messing with them.

[tnt69couple 64]

I agree with everyone else on the house party. But I do not agree that they cannot have a couple or two over and still have some discreet fun. We play with another couple while our kid is asleep. We use discretion. Well and our kid only gets up about once a year anyway. Usually during a storm. I think you can have fun with a small group without causing any problems.

[AskMeOk 148]

Just say, "NO!" This is an incredibly bad idea. Whatever it takes.... find a responsible sitter. Problems with a sitter is miniscule compared to the damage that could be done by one of the kids looking for a glass of water.

[xxxboxy 139]

I can just hear it now "GET OFF OF MY MOMMY!!!!" ringing through the room quickly followed by several people levitating about 3 feet into the air....not a pretty image...

[tscpl 93]

When a child sees its mother apparently having sex with a stranger,this is the kind of activity which gives Swinging a bad name.Not to speak of the effect it can have on the child.