Wife no longer interested

[M1F2KTJ 473]

M1F2KTJ,

 

Welcome to the Swinger's Board! If your wife is no longer interested in sex, there could be a lot of reasons for that. We have had several discussions along these lines both for male and female loss of interest. Look through the forums and I'm sure that you will find information that will help you in your situation.

 

S

 

We don't have sex as much as I would like to but her loss of interest is in the swapping, threesome area. I loved watching my wife having sex with someone else and now she doesn't want to do that anymore. Thanks for your help!

[LFM2 1,482]

to the Board, M1F2KTJ. Do you still seek couples and singles for play? (With your wifes permission, of course!)

 

Do you know why your wife doesn't want to swing anymore?

[sweet_tna 680]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your wife is no longer interested in the lifestyle. What are her reasons for wanting to stop? Is she okay with you continuing to play?

 

I hope you find the information you're looking for.

 

 

=)

[mnd7398 46]

to the Board, M1F2KTJ. Do you still seek couples and singles for play? (With your wifes permission, of course!)

 

Do you know why your wife doesn't want to swing anymore?

 

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your wife is no longer interested in the lifestyle. What are her reasons for wanting to stop? Is she okay with you continuing to play?

 

I hope you find the information you're looking for.

 

 

=)

 

I've already asked permission to play alone (more than a few times) but she refuses. I'm still willing to help a couple because I know how frustrating it can be to find a playmate. She absolutely HATES me having sex with another woman so after that first time our experiences have been MMF. I'm not sure why she stopped. She gets irritated when I try to talk to her about it. It may be because she has had enough of less than satisfying playmates but I'm not sure.

[sweet_tna 680]

I've already asked permission to play alone (more than a few times) but she refuses. I'm still willing to help a couple because I know how frustrating it can be to find a playmate. She absolutely HATES me having sex with another woman so after that first time our experiences have been MMF. I'm not sure why she stopped. She gets irritated when I try to talk to her about it. It may be because she has had enough of less than satisfying playmates but I'm not sure.

 

You don't have to hang out on this board very long to find out what the prevailing opinion on this situation is. If your wife, for whatever reason, is not comfortable with you playing with anyone else then you have two choices. You can remain faithfully monogamous to her, or you can cheat.

 

Perhaps she doesn't want to talk about it because she didn't enjoy it and doesn't want to feel pressured to keep trying it. Or maybe, just maybe, she loves you so much she wants you all to herself.

 

And for what it's worth, single/married-play-alone guys are not tough to find in the lifestyle.

[Alura 2,775]

You can remain faithfully monogamous to her, or you can cheat.

 

There is a third choice. You can get a divorce. You don't seem to care enough about her to forego cheating, so why remain married? Perhaps she could even find a man who might be more compatible and thus, she'd be happier. You might find another woman who has the same attitude as you, "I'm going to (secretly) fuck others whether you like it or not." Then you'd both be happy... for awhile.

 

Communication is key here. I'm wondering if she's made it crystal clear why she feels the way she does but you refuse to accept her opinion and keep pushing the matter hoping she'll change her mind. It's likely she won't.

 

Mr. Alura

[Swing*8701 887]

Cheating is the most destructive form of sexual expression. Of course, if you are sincere in playing as a single man, then be truly single.

[VegasLee 1,486]

M1F2KTJ,

 

Only you can decide for sure but the bottom line is, what is more important to you, your wife and the relationship you have with her or a few cheap thrills with others.

[JTcamp05 9]

Why bother with the "swinging" lifestyle......? Why not just do what your going to do and understand that us "swingers" are not interested in your choice. There are many singles in the "lifestyle" who don't need to be put in "your" group.....

 

From a couples point of view, you just end up making it bad for all the legit swingers... I do hope you find peace, just don't think you will find it in this lifestyle!

[Rackir 159]

I have to agree that trying to swing as a single man, while married, and without the wife’s knowledge is just a bad idea. No real explanation is required for that, it's the same reason cheating is always a bad idea. It's saying to yourself "my marriage is worth less my desired sex life, but I'm not brave enough to actually end it with my wife" (okay, so I explained anyways).

 

What you need to do (IMO of course) is really figure out for yourself just how important being in a non-monogamous relationship is for you. If it's really very important, than you and your wife have a glaring incompatibility issue to work through. Alot of people will probably feel differently than I do on this, but I believe that this issue is just as serious and valid as so many others that come between marriages, and not something to be ashamed of. If one person hated sex, and the other loved it, most would feel it a valid reason to reconsider the marital status. Same applies to career choices, desires for children etc. A desire for a non-monogamous relationship is in the same camp. If you are simply not happy with a monogamous relationship, then it will keep you unhappy in your marriage, and eventually things will get bad.

 

So how important is this to you? Is it worth ending your marriage over? If so, take the appropriate steps (hopefully starting with honest discussions with your wife, and possibly counseling with a marriage counselor whose goal is to see you both happy, rather than just to see you stay married). If this is something you need, and something your wife cant give you, then you will both be better served by finding people who are more in line with your wants and desires.

 

If however this is not important enough to terminate your marriage over, then reign it in. Don't even consider doing it without your wife’s permission and blessing. Find other ways to keep your sex life alive and ways to indulge your desires. Is she okay with you flirting with other women? Maybe you can get what you need by the two of you going to a club, and chatting up other girls, getting that positive reinforcement, and then bringing only the fantasy back home with you. Or find some other way to get what you need within the boundaries of your wife’s comfort.

 

The key is, you need to know exactly how important this is to you, and do the right thing from there.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Cheating is the most destructive form ...

 

M1F2KTJ,

 

Only you can decide ...

 

Why bother with the "swinging" lifestyle......

 

I have to agree that trying to swing as a single man ...

 

I'm a little surprised but I understand I think because the original header for the topic I posted, if you'll look above, was "Married Single in PA" and here is my original post ...

 

My wife is no longer interested but I still am. I know from experience how frustrating it can be to find someone.

 

Somehow, magically the header for the post was changed to "Married,frustrated and wanting to play as a single man" which might reflect some editorial/moderator thing. I am in no way suggesting that I am available for or involved in "cheating". I am simply stating that I still would enjoy the lifestyle IF my wife was still interested and am expressing my empathy toward people who would like to experience the lifestyle but don't know how to "get started".

[Rackir 159]

I am simply stating that I still would enjoy the lifestyle IF my wife was still interested and am expressing my empathy toward people who would like to experience the lifestyle but don't know how to "get started".

 

Well that is certainly different, and I apologize for going on such a rant after being given so little information on which to base it .

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

Somehow, magically the header for the post was changed to "Married,frustrated and wanting to play as a single man" which might reflect some editorial/moderator thing. I am in no way suggesting that I am available for or involved in "cheating". I am simply stating that I still would enjoy the lifestyle IF my wife was still interested and am expressing my empathy toward people who would like to experience the lifestyle but don't know how to "get started".

 

I changed your title to reflect what you shared here. I wasn't the one who originally changed your title but title changing to make a thread title more appropriate to the thread (or search engine friendly ) is a common practice here. In this case, until your last post your thread read as tho you were looking to swing on your own without your wife (even in your post about having asked her for permission and being declined). I'm glad to see that is not the case, and I know there are many others here in your shoes that empathize with you as well.