The adult industry and swingers... odd

[2plus2fun 143]

I am curious and would like to have a discussion about adult performers and the adult industry in general and your opinion about porn in general.

 

Recently, I planned an event where I was going to book a pornstar to appear to sign autographs and take pictures with people. I thought it would be fun.... but I got quite a backlash from members of our club about it. I find it very odd that people in the lifestyle would have such an issue with porn and likewise... I find that a lot of people in the adult industry have an odd view of the lifestyle... This is very baffling to me. Anyone care to discuss it?

[Rackir 159]

You know, I would be surprised if the majority of swingers felt this way, but I can easily see it from a vocal minority.

 

Porn definitely carries with it the stigma of being dirty and a tool for lonely men with no other options for getting off. And while there are a large number of fairly "respectable and ethical" porn companies out there, the industry is still heavy with drug use, prostitution and disease. Add to that the number of porn videos out there which directly cater to the "demeaning women" crowed and I could see why some swingers would want to distance their lifestyle from that industry.

[2plus2fun 143]

You know, I would be surprised if the majority of swingers felt this way, but I can easily see it from a vocal minority.

 

Porn definitely carries with it the stigma of being dirty and a tool for lonely men with no other options for getting off. And while there are a large number of fairly "respectable and ethical" porn companies out there, the industry is still heavy with drug use, prostitution and disease. Add to that the number of porn videos out there which directly cater to the "demeaning women" crowed and I could see why some swingers would want to distance their lifestyle from that industry.

 

I think that much like the general public views swingers... swingers that view porn in that light (as you described) are making a large generalization of a very small minority of people. For example: I think most vanilla people think that swingers get together and have one large orgy free for all and that this is the rule. People in the adult industry think that about swingers... They also think that we spread VD or worse... it's just insane. I have worked in the adult industry as a webmaster for 8 years now and have met a ton of industry people... some of them are scumbags... there is no doubt about it. However, I find that the great majority of those with fame live a very tame lifestyle as real life people and actually tend to be very conservative in their world view... it's really kind of odd.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

I was not aware there was any issue here.

[Rackir 159]

I think that much like the general public views swingers... swingers that view porn in that light (as you described) are making a large generalization of a very small minority of people.

 

Undoubtably true, but then swingers are people too, and just as prone to overgeneralization. Of course some may know it's not true, but still want to distance themselvs from the stigma in the general public's eyes.

[Chicup 41]

As a rule I really don't care if we meet a porn star or not, and I'd rather not have the distraction at a swinging event.

[LagniappeDC 313]

We find this interesting too. In general, we have no problem with porn, except for the fact that it's become pretty boring to us. We are turned off by some of the hard core stuff like gagging, etc. Occasionally when a movie comes out with high production values we'll watch it (ie, the movie Pirates a couple of years ago). Our local club shows porn on its monitors which we tend to find more distracting than sexy. Showing modeling, striptease would be better.

 

We'd much rather watch shows like the old "Real Sex" on HBO and "Sexcetera" on Playboy Channel which feature real people in real situations -- so I guess you could argue that that is not really porn.

 

A local club had booked Nina Hartley and thought we might go to meet her, but she's very sex positive.

 

So no real answer to your question, except to say that at least you have a good "pulse" on what your club members like -- but good for you for exploring.

[2plus2fun 143]

As a rule I really don't care if we meet a porn star or not, and I'd rather not have the distraction at a swinging event.

 

Can you elaborate on what would be distracting? Do you mean that people would be focusing on the celeb and not on each other?

[Ed & Bunny 160]

I am going to take a guess here. It may be that swingers have sex for fun and enjoyment whereas porn stars do it for money. Some people just don't want to see the two mixed together.

 

On a personal level I could care less. Both Bunny and I find alot of porn quite boring. There was a series involving amature couples many years ago we liked, but now most amature porn seems to just be tryouts for the new gals. What we enjoy watching is real couples and the intamacy involved in the sex they have. That is something guaranteed to get us both going and why we like a club without doors. So with porn seeming fake, why would we want to meet someone who does it? It wouldnt be an issue that would make us complain though.

[Chicup 41]

Can you elaborate on what would be distracting? Do you mean that people would be focusing on the celeb and not on each other?

 

Well we wouldn't really care if we met a porn star or not. For the most part it's not really a thrill.

 

I think there would be almost an obligation to talk to them on the part of the group and we would be there to talk to other couples not the pornstar.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I think the only porn star I'd be interested in meeting would be Ron Jeremy. Not because he's a porn star, but because it seems like it would be a hoot to hang out with him.

[realcplub2 513]

Having met a few myself, before we were dating, let alone married, i was surprised at how quick the mystique went by the way side, and the genuine people they are came thru. Because I was a part time Bouncer for a local Gentlemans club, I was "safe" they could lower the act around me.

 

Jump ahead to when we moved down here, and started meeting and talking to others here into the lifestyle.. We quickly found we have a few retired and semi retired porn folks that are into lifestyle here. The unfortunate part is, they keep the act up.. the one Semi retired, still searches for playmates to be her next co stars.. for video and photo shoots.. And for "hire".. with subject matter part of the "price".. Let the imagination wander. the subject matter, when it gets to the dark places.. yep you are in the neighborhood.

 

Now Our personal take on Porn in general, is its like Sci Fi, or any Other Fiction.. it has nothing to do with reality.. and like bad Sci Fi, rarely has a decent storyline..

 

As to why folks within the lifestyle would have an issue.. Hard to say, the club we went to featured porn on 4 big screens.. each a different movie..

[mixtupcpl 169]

Well we wouldn't really care if we met a porn star or not. For the most part it's not really a thrill.

 

I think there would be almost an obligation to talk to them on the part of the group and we would be there to talk to other couples not the pornstar.

 

I can definitely see the above being the case. Not sure a "guest star" would fit on a normal night.

 

But I think the OP was planning an actual event that would be sort of designed around meeting that person and got pushback. That I would probably attribute more to the fact that for a lot of people, there just wouldnt be a lot of interest (even if they love porn).

 

The Mrs and I met a very big name porn star in a totally vanilla setting and she was terrific. Really nice to chat with and I got a great pic of her and the Mrs (Mrs complete with school girl costume on as well) that I still keep "handy" for "special occasions"! That said, I don't think I would find myself being drawn to a "meet the pornstar" event at all. In our case, she happened to be at another event shilling some non-adult products.

[Meetussoon 68]

Our discussion and decision to enter the lifestyle can be largely attributed to "Real Sex" THANK YOU HBO.

[2plus2fun 143]

I am planning to book them for a hotel event where we are giving away prizes. They won't be participating in the actual swinging... they will be there purely for celebrity appearance, photo opportunity and to MC the contests. We are giving away trips to Hedo II, Caliente Resort as well as many other prizes including cash.

[Chicup 41]

Sounds like a great party. In my view it would be a great party with or without the porn star, but obviously I don't know everyones thought on that. I'd view it as an additional expense on your part that might not be needed. I'm sure it depends on the porn stars personality on how well it would work. It's not like they get their jobs based on personality

[2plus2fun 143]

For the record... I am not throwing the party itself. I run an amateur paysite host (for people who want to run their own adult site but don't know how or want to keep their investment low). I am promoting that site with our event which will be AT the hotel party. BTW, this party typically has 500-600 couples in attendance and we (Carolina Friends) takeover the whole hotel... which is HUGE. This is a Halloween Bash where we have a costume contest. I am sponsoring the contest along with some other vendors where we will give away alot of prizes... so this is why I had figured that it might be cool to hire some personalities to come and MC the contest results and give away the prizes. I am also hiring a celebrity DJ for the main event.

[Rackir 159]

For a party of that nature I would think the porn stars would be an added draw and would contribute positivlly to the overall atmosphere. But then again, I really like porn!

[lizandtom 512]

I think the only porn star I'd be interested in meeting would be Ron Jeremy. Not because he's a porn star, but because it seems like it would be a hoot to hang out with him.

 

When we first got into the lifestyle, our conduit locally was a website where the guy running it threw some great M&G's. He had a great following and it was a lot of fun. Then he thought it would be a great idea to converge the porn industry and swinging, so started to have Ron Jeremy come to the M&G's in local clubs. We met Ron in a suite pre party, and you're right, he was hilarious; had us all in stitches, and a really nice guy.

 

Eventually the convergence of porn and swinging was the promoters downfall, as the majority of swingers valued how discreet it should have been, rather than the notoriety that the porn side brought to the events.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Eventually the convergence of porn and swinging was the promoters downfall, as the majority of swingers valued how discreet it should have been, rather than the notoriety that the porn side brought to the events.

 

I have to agree with this. We went to a "national" swinger's event last year where a number of porn industry people were there. We were going through the vendor floor looking at what was there when here comes the port people and the still and video cameras. I almost had a fit and hustled both of us out of there. That is one of the reasons that would would not attend that event again.

[Chicup 41]

I have to agree with this. We went to a "national" swinger's event last year where a number of porn industry people were there. We were going through the vendor floor looking at what was there when here comes the port people and the still and video cameras. I almost had a fit and hustled both of us out of there. That is one of the reasons that would would not attend that event again.

 

Bingo. You know I couldn't quite place WHY I had a distaste for porn stars at swinging events, and I couldn't remember exactly why. This is exactly it, I really don't want to end up on Playboy TV or 'Real Sex'.

[2plus2fun 143]

Well... Sharon and I are swingers... even by your definition, Chicup. We also value our privacy... the only cameras at our Halloween parties are ones that photographers have set up to take portraits and they have come every year with no issues... just because a pornstar is there doesn't mean that is going to change. Honestly, I kind of view some of the responses as almost paranoid. I am not sure how anyone else does it... but Carolina Friends has very strict rules to protect it's members... and security at every event.

[Chicup 41]

Well... Sharon and I are swingers... even by your definition, Chicup. We also value our privacy... the only cameras at our Halloween parties are ones that photographers have set up to take portraits and they have come every year with no issues... just because a pornstar is there doesn't mean that is going to change. Honestly, I kind of view some of the responses as almost paranoid. I am not sure how anyone else does it... but Carolina Friends has very strict rules to protect it's members... and security at every event.

 

It's not an attack on YOUR event, but what I've seen at others and on TV.

[Sunswept 161]

Ya know, I don't really see any substantive connection between swinging and porn stars, yeah sex is a shared aspect of both, but it seems to me inviting a porn star to a swinging event is not that different from inviting Hugh Laurie who plays "Dr. House" to an AMA meeting. I really don't see that either would bring much to the party.

 

I would not be outraged and if some people would get off on meeting a porn star fine, but I would stay away because it would be a distraction as Chicup already pointed out.

[mixtupcpl 169]

Ya know, I don't really see any substantive connection between swinging and porn stars, yeah sex is a shared aspect of both, -but it seems to me inviting a porn star to a swinging event is not that different from inviting Hugh Laurie who plays "Dr. House" to an AMA meeting. I really don't see that either would bring much to the party.

 

I love this analogy! LOL! But I get the feeling that maybe Hugh HAS attended AMA meetings. I have some relatives who are doctors and I can SWEAR I've heard in the past that "TV Doctors" *have* spoken

 

Sometimes when it comes to celebrity thrill (for those so inclined), a tangential connection can be enough.

[good times 991]

I really wouldn't be interested in going to a swinging event that featured a porn star because it is a distraction which gets in the way of why I went to the event and adds nothing.

 

This reminds me of a couple of times that we have gone to a swinger club that thought it would be cool to have a stripper come and perform for us. Totally ruined the mood of the event for the night. A stripper is not a swinger, so what is he/she doing at a swinger club? If I wanted to see a stripper, I would go to a strip club.

 

While a costume contest is cool and fun for everyone involved, it is mainly fun because everyone, or most everyone is involved. Same with the fact that it is a swinger event, theoretically at least, everyone there is a swinger. Whereas the porn star would basically be viewed by most as an outsider who is not involved. In other words, the porn star is not a swinger, so I see no useful function he/she could perform at a swinger event. In fact, in my opinion, a porn star, or any non-swinger celebrity, would be a definite mood killer for any swinger event. Additionally, I would feel uncomfortable doing what one does at a swinger event with a non-swinger there.

 

So, if I was planning to go to an event, and they announced that they were going to have a porn star there to sign autographs or whatever, I would not go to the event.

 

Now if the porn star is a swinger, and is participating in the event as a swinger, I have no problem with that. In fact, I have meet a several porn stars, strippers, and even legal prostitutes at swingers clubs who were there as guests just like myself, and I enjoyed their company very much.

[2plus2fun 143]

I really wouldn't be interested in going to a swinging event that featured a porn star because it is a distraction which gets in the way of why I went to the event and adds nothing.

 

This reminds me of a couple of times that we have gone to a swinger club that thought it would be cool to have a stripper come and perform for us. Totally ruined the mood of the event for the night. A stripper is not a swinger, so what is he/she doing at a swinger club? If I wanted to see a stripper, I would go to a strip club.

 

While a costume contest is cool and fun for everyone involved, it is mainly fun because everyone, or most everyone is involved. Same with the fact that it is a swinger event, theoretically at least, everyone there is a swinger. Whereas the porn star would basically be viewed by most as an outsider who is not involved. In other words, the porn star is not a swinger, so I see no useful function he/she could perform at a swinger event. In fact, in my opinion, a porn star, or any non-swinger celebrity, would be a definite mood killer for any swinger event. Additionally, I would feel uncomfortable doing what one does at a swinger event with a non-swinger there.

 

So, if I was planning to go to an event, and they announced that they were going to have a porn star there to sign autographs or whatever, I would not go to the event.

 

Now if the porn star is a swinger, and is participating in the event as a swinger, I have no problem with that. In fact, I have meet a several porn stars, strippers, and even legal prostitutes at swingers clubs who were there as guests just like myself, and I enjoyed their company very much.

 

So... you are cool with pornstars as long as you have a chance to fuck one? Is that your story?

[Chicup 41]

So... you are cool with pornstars as long as you have a chance to fuck one? Is that your story?

 

That's not the story at all.

 

He's cool with swingers, and it doesn't matter if they are a porn star or not. He's not cool with non swingers at swinger events, and it doesn't matter if they are a porn star or not.

[2plus2fun 143]

Thats not the story at all.

 

He's cool with swingers, and it doesn't matter if they are a porn star or not. He's not cool with non swingers at swinger events, and it doesn't matter if they are a porn star or not.

 

I was kidding... >>> see

 

We have decided to try it anyway and see what happens. I don't think it will be a huge issue at all and although some of you are giving me negative feedback I think it will be a different story when they are there. If it were the average club event I wouldn't even consider it... but this is a hotel takeover with 500-600 couples expected to attend and noone that wants to be associated or be around the girls will be subjected to it. We will have our own ballroom separate from the main activities.

[Chicup 41]

I was kidding... >>> see

 

Sarcasm often gets lost on the internet

[NCfuncouple98 367]

I was kidding... >>> see

 

We have decided to try it anyway and see what happens. I don't think it will be a huge issue at all and although some of you are giving me negative feedback I think it will be a different story when they are there. If it were the average club event I wouldn't even consider it... but this is a hotel takeover with 500-600 couples expected to attend and noone that wants to be associated or be around the girls will be subjected to it. We will have our own ballroom separate from the main activities.

 

I think that because it's a special hotel event and not just at a club event, I personally don't see the big deal. Mr. NC could care less - it doesn't interest him at all, but it also doesn't sway his opinion on whether or not to attend the event.

 

Let us know how it goes!

[VegasLee 1,486]

Guess it is time to jump in here.

 

Since I have been in the real "Porn" business for 30 years now, in the Lifestyle longer than that and running a very known club for half that time.

 

EVERY TIME that any well known porn people have showed up at the club the "Swingers" left. The others, nonswingers, which is most these days, were all excited and hung out. For those that go to clubs and don't swing they seem to be very into porn and porn stars but it puts a big damper on a good Swingers Party.

 

Same pretty much holds true when a group of "Internet Girls" shows up. The Swingers hit the door and some of the single guys are cool with it until they meet the girls then wonder why they wasted their time.

 

Even at the National Lifestyles conventions they found "most" of the time Porn and Swingers did not mix. There where a few exceptions but very few.

 

Take it for what it is worth but over the years we have found it is not a good mix. It can be good for business if you are mostly catering to "todays non-swingers" that hang out at Swing clubs and parties but that is not the crowd that we try to attract.

 

Good luck to you.

[Chicup 41]

Thank you, its been so long since we have been to a club we forgot about the poser crowd.

 

I think you summed up how we would react as swingers nicely.

[Mr.Essex 264]

I've had the "pleasure" of visiting a club that had to deal with a surprise visit from a porn star. It was dead from the moment that she'd arrived until a few minutes after she left. During a post-porn star conversation that I had with one of the English-speaking regulars, she made less than conciliatory comments about her "perfect body" and "magnetic personality". From her comments (as well as comments from others), I came to the conclusion that the vast majority (including the single men in attendance who would have normally "fancied their chances") were unnerved by her attendance due to her being, well, "her". A decent percent (maybe even more than 50%) of swingers (regardless of what part of the world you're living in) are in their late 30's and above, and that leads to a high amount of less than perfect bodies and less than exciting lives in any club that you'd visit. For the people at the club that I'd visited(on that occasion, I will stress), she was a lass than welcome reminder of time lost (for the older patrons) and lives "wasted" (because being paid to fuck is more exciting than being a middle management drone at Novartis, to give a literal example from that night.) So I can see why things don't readily mix. Now, if the "porn stars" were of the "amateur" (read: Internet a la Carol Cox) variety and cameras weren't present, then things may turn out differently.

[carrysmith 57]

WE HAVE BEEN IN THE ADULT INDUSTRY FOR ABOUT 10YRS AS PRODUCERS AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT MOST(we work with) ADULT (FEMALE) FILM STARS LOOKDOWN ON SWINGING & THE LIFESTYLE, WE'VE INVITED MANY OF THEM 2 OUR CLUB & THEY REFUSE 100%, AND THE FUNY THING IF U ATTEND A PRIVATE ADULT INDUSTRY PARTY ITS BASICALLY DRINKING,DRUGS, AND SEX ALL OVER, WHATS THE DIFFERNCE,BUT IN 10YRS. WE HAVNT BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT!..

[NealnAnji 30]

There have been precious few porn movies that are worth watching and that are made in good taste. Most of them are pretty boring because they lack true eroticism and just show sex in a mechanical and almost clinical way.