Soft Swap and Cumming

[exploringRM 305]

We're a full-swap couple, but are friends with a soft-swap couple and at some point we hope to play with them (on their level). We've not asked this question of them, but I was wondering for those soft swap out there, what's your "rule" for this? (another post on when do you cum also helped me create this question).

 

In a soft swap situation do you expect to end the evening with your partner (normal partner, not swap) with intercourse, or do you swap and each swapped couple's male cums and there may or may not be intercourse depending on how well they recover?

[xxxcitement 15]

exploringRM said:

We're a full-swap couple, but are friends with a soft-swap couple and at some point we hope to play with them (on their level). We've not asked this question of them, but I was wondering for those soft swap out there, what's your "rule" for this? (another post on when do you cum also helped me create this question).

 

In a soft swap situation do you expect to end the evening with your partner (normal partner, not swap) with intercourse, or do you swap and each swapped couple's male cums and there may or may not be intercourse depending on how well they recover?

 

We ourselves are full swap, but numerous times we have "played" with soft swap couples, and I must say, with the right couple "Soft Swap" can be extremely exciting. The thing with "Soft Swap" is that it really depends on the other couple, we have played with a couple that did do oral, but did not want the husband to cum in her mouth, but she did give him a hand job "Happy Ending" Other couples class "Oral" as a "Not on the first date". But all the Soft Play couples we have been with have never had an issue with making my husband cum by ways of a hand job / stroking.

 

I think it is just like Full Swap Playing, if it's the first time, and you have issues with certain things, just bring it up in a friendly conversation before the temperature rises...

 

Good Luck with the Soft Play,.. it's very sexy!!

[The Fuse 1,012]

This is a good question. Personally I would just ask them when things got to that level. I'm guessing each soft-swap couple has their own preferences.

 

Like you, we are a full-swap couple. We may be starting something with a couple who are pretty new and are currently soft swap, but have hinted they may be interested in full swap at some point. If we play with them I think I will ask them this question, partly because of reading your thread. Thanks for getting to me think of it!

[lovinher 505]

There are a lot of versions of "soft swap". Whatever works for everybody is the rule.

[Paul&Audrey 21]

Baremama & I have had a soft-swing experience thta involved a lil intercouple oral, after which, we returned to our own spouses for a fantastic same room double fuck!

 

~~bare~~

[exploringRM 305]

This is a good question. Personally I would just ask them when things got to that level. I'm guessing each soft-swap couple has their own preferences.

 

Like you, we are a full-swap couple. We may be starting something with a couple who are pretty new and are currently soft swap, but have hinted they may be interested in full swap at some point. If we play with them I think I will ask them this question, partly because of reading your thread. Thanks for getting to me think of it!

 

We've been flirting with this couple for months and months. Have had some pretty hot interactions at some meet and greets and they have been a lot of fun. We've just not had an opportunity to be alone in a room where we can play. I do plan to ask them how they work as far as the final moment if/when the time cums.

 

I was sort of curious how other soft swap couples deal with this situation.

[Soft Swap 4 15]

Hi! We are the new member interview for this week and I thought I would weigh in on this topic.

 

We both know that soft swapping can be an incredible experience. It involves a lot more self control for everyone and the foreplay can last forever if there is no expectation of intercourse with the other spouse. We are still exploring new boundaries, but if a woman spent enough time on me to make me cum then my wife and I would be ok with that. We are still new to this and have only had 4 experiences with other couples and each one has gotten a little more playful. In the last one, My wife whispered asking me if wanted to make the other girl cum. So I agreed. Both girls loved it! We finished the night by having intercourse with our spouses and it was really hot!

 

I think that full swap couples who don't play with soft swap are missing out on a lot of erotic and sensual fun. I wish those couples didn't feel like intercourse was the pinnacle of the sexual experience.

[LagniappeDC 313]

As a soft swap couple we can chime in, especially since we've actually had more experience playing with full swap couples than soft swap (kinda ironic I guess). For us, soft swap means everything except actual intercourse -- so kissing, oral, fingers, etc, are all good for us.

 

On the actual question about cumming, we are happy to finish either way -- either through oral with our play partners or having sex together in front of the other couple. As the male, I actually have the biggest "hangup" with this because after a long night of dancing and drinking, getting erect isn't my problem, but finishing via oral can take forever. I start to get concerned that my play partner is having to do too much "work" to get me there...so I often opt to finish by having sex with my wife. I've been kidded by my play partners for this because they like to "finish the job" as they've told me. My wife agrees, she likes the satisfaction of satisfying her play partner orally. So, that's something for me to work on!!

 

Wife and I have discussed the cum in her mouth vs. pulling out. I'm fine with it, but have made it clear that it's her decision. Something like that is a very personal thing and want her to be completely comfortable. Luckily we've been with couples where the man has always alerted her and asked what she prefers. I've made a decision to not cum in partners mouth unless my wife has agreed it is something she'll do as well...kind of a "fair is fair" type thing.

 

So ultimately, no easy answer here. Get to know your partners, chat about what their rules are and have fun. I firmly think that most of us have "rules" that are often relaxed as we feel more and more comfortable with our partners...

[WesternSwing 504]

We haven't soft-swapped in years, but what is the point of doing anything if you're not allowed to cum? And that goes for both genders..

 

Mr. WS

[Swingercast 91]

WesternSwing said:

We haven't soft-swapped in years, but what is the point of doing anything if you're not allowed to cum? And that goes for both genders..

 

Mr. WS

 

I don't think the soft swap posters above are "not allowing" their play partners to cum, seems to me it is just simply a matter of "where" they are cumming...just a different "style of play" choice or preference.

 

I don't think there is a swooping generalization in regards to "style of play" that can be placed on full or soft swap couples-every couple is different.

 

Communication is the key as it is always. Whether you are playing with full or soft swap couples it's the same. You need to know how they play...just ask them if you don't know.

 

I also think that whether a couple is soft or full, it is much better if the couple does not have different boundaries for each other and if so, they should communicate that to the other couples or stay within their boundaries during play.

 

I was placed in an awkward situation with a full swap couple recently regarding "where" the male was allowed to cum. She is allowed to cum anywhere at any given time with anyone she chooses. They full swap and are not shy about it. In a very heated hot tub impromptu group play session she was cumming multiple times with multiple people...hubby and I were having sex, not involved with the group "action" but near it. The male came over and put his dick in my mouth and came (she did not see-was in the throws of her own orgasms with 3 women). Hubby and I got out of hot tub and went to the bar for a drink. Later she went ballistic, threatened to kick him out of the house, to throw his clothes to the curb-screaming at him! We watched this and had no idea what they were fighting about. The owner later came back to the bar and said he had been out front dealing with some major drama with one of his host couples. He said the male came in some woman's mouth and she apparently does not allow him to do that. Neither the owner or the woman knew it was me...and the owner was just as surprised as I was that she had this rule with him. I found this out a little later when I went to the owner in private to find out more about the situation, to confess to him and apologize. I got the 411 and had he cum in my pussy that would have been ok with her but she does not allow him to cum in a woman's mouth. Whoops! I felt icky for being a part of that and was relieved that the male did not tell her it was me and I did not have to get involved with the drama.

 

I went off topic a bit there,sorry... just needed to get it off my chest. There were other aspects of that situation like when a couple has different boundaries for each other, doesn't openly communicate those rules with others and breaks their rules in play situation that probably belong in another thread. But, to tie this into the OP, that recent situation with the full swap couple reinforces to me that it really doesn't matter if the couple is full or soft swap EVERY couple has their own style of play and comfort levels and to try and limit uncomfortable situations...just ask them.

 

I was also reminded, since our style of play is anything goes except penetration swap, that I shouldn't assume that all couples that swap penetration are going to be automatically comfortable with our oral play either...I need to take my advice and just ask more specifics, I guess!

[YesYesYes!!! 15]

We are an experienced soft swap couple and find ourselves playing with full swap couples often. Since we are the ones with the rules we feel that it is our job to inform our playmates of what we are comfortable with. In some cases it is the women that say I can’t take it any more I need a cock in my pussy now, and we finish off with our own partner. A lot of guys like to finish off having breast sex with my wife. She has large natural breast and if they aren’t used to that it is a real treat for them. If you allow grinding coming in from the back and bumping against the clit is a great feeling for both parties. There is only so far you can go with soft swap and I think that leads to more creative sex. Bed notchers will often come back for another shot at us in hopes of converting us. We are quite happy about that.

 

One thing you should never do if you are soft swap is inform your playmates of this information when the condoms come out. You must tell them before the play starts.

[realcplub2 513]

I dunno, while I am the first one to agree with what turns you on, is cool.. We are a full swap couple.. and let me explain why

 

To us, it would be like packing a picnic basket to go have dinner at a fine resturaunt.. enjoy the wine and appetizers.. and then break out the basket..

 

Again, to each their own.. But the key would be to spell out what in and out of bounds well before things get behind closed doors.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Seems like whether your play partners are soft or full swap, it can never hurt to tell them if you have any rules about where climaxing is or is not allowed. Conversely, if they don't speak up, it might be a good idea to ask.

 

The OP was about this question in relation to SOFT swap, because the couple asking was a full-swap couple. It's not a question about the merits of soft versus full. The full swap couple, used to a situation where orgasming during intercourse with your playmate is part of a usual play experience, is a little hesitant about things when intercourse is not on the table. Many people, especially men who many have one orgasm a night, are wondering whether they can still orgasm with their play partner in a soft swap situation, or whether there is a different etiquette for soft swap.

 

Some people have pointed out that even if intercourse is on the table, there may still be rules about where to climax. Yes, there might. But I hope this thread doesn't degenerate into another "soft vs. full" debate.

[WesternSwing 504]

Swingercast said:

I don't think the soft swap posters above are "not allowing" their play partners to cum, seems to me it is just simply a matter of "where" they are cumming...just a different "style of play" choice or preference.

 

I may be taking it too literally, however this:

 

exploringRM said:

In a soft swap situation do you expect to end the evening with your partner (normal partner, not swap) with intercourse, or do you swap and each swapped couple's male cums and there may or may not be intercourse depending on how well they recover?

 

says "you don't cum with your swap partners and/or only the male is allowed to cum with his swap partner."

 

That is totally fine if that is how you play. Both scenarios are ripe with jealousy and potential drama, especially with the latter scenario.

 

Just my thoughts on the subject. You're mileage may vary.

[YZF 8]

This is something Mrs. YZF and I make clear when we get together with another couple soft or full swap. Mrs. YZF goes down on a partner for one thing and that is to get a prize at the end. She will suck him back to an erection if wants more play but she loves the coming in the mouth thing. So much that she will not do oral on a guy if his woman has a problem with it.

[exploringRM 305]

As The Fuse posted, I wasn't looking for a swap versus full debate or even the merits of what makes sense in rules. We try to respect all rules, and if we don't agree with them or feel they are not something we like then we won't play.

 

As pointed out, the fact that many men (myself included) need time to recover makes you think about who cums with who. As far as where, I guess that depends on the partner. For us, my wife really wants to be penetrated to get the most enjoyment. So that means in a soft swap situation that would be me. But if I'm out of ammo, then where does that leave her. On the other hand (pun intended), I would not mind cumming with my swap partner, regardless of soft or penetration. So many choices and combinations, lol.

[exploringRM 305]

This is something Mrs. YZF and I make clear when we get together with another couple soft or full swap. Mrs. YZF goes down on a partner for one thing and that is to get a prize at the end. She will suck him back to an erection if wants more play but she loves the coming in the mouth thing. So much that she will not do oral on a guy if his woman has a problem with it.

 

Where do I sign up for Mrs. YZF

[kenandjan242 39]

exploringRM said:

We're a full-swap couple, but are friends with a soft-swap couple and at some point we hope to play with them (on their level). We've not asked this question of them, but I was wondering for those soft swap out there, what's your "rule" for this? (another post on when do you cum also helped me create this question).

 

In a soft swap situation do you expect to end the evening with your partner (normal partner, not swap) with intercourse, or do you swap and each swapped couple's male cums and there may or may not be intercourse depending on how well they recover?

 

I guess for now you can call us a soft swap couple because so far all our encounters have ended with us being together for actual intercourse. Up to that point it has mainly been oral and manual stimulation of all partners. I am very multi orgasmic. So I cum no matter what. However Mr. has only cum with me. it takes him awhile to be able to cum again after the first time. I had a bad swinging experience with a prior partner and Mr. knows that and does not want our lifestyle experience to be another bad one for me so we are taking things slowly. So to answer your question for us anything goes up to the point of actual intercourse.

 

Jan

[ratimadan 75]

This is a great question since we also prefer full-swap with the other couple/s, that means doing intercourse with the other couple's mate as a finale to the swing play.

 

However, there are exceptions when we play with a newbie couple that is not quite ready for intercourse, or, a couple is decidedly soft-swap. There is much to be said for soft swap play where everything-blow job, pussy eating, 69, etc., is permissible with the exception of the guy sinking his dick in the females's pussy. The key is that you clearly set the rules with the other couple before play starts.

 

Not so long ago wife's gf from college and her hubby were visiting and spent a few nights at our house. We were definitely interested in swapping mates and fucking the other's mate. Over drinks, during the evening, we asked whether or not the two had considered swinging and partner swap for social as well as sexual intercourse. As it turned out, the two were open to the idea but had not actually played with another couple. Also, the female was not sure about letting another guy's dick in ther pussy but was open to soft swap of mates, short of intercourse. So we all agreed to soft swap play where the guys pleasured the ladies with pussy eating, 69, and, the ladies sucking the other guy's cock. Then we fucked our own partner and cuming or ejaculation before intercourse was outside the other gal's pussy.

 

We did soft swap with this couple about twice and then the third time during the play the other gal had sucked hubby's cock to a hard erection. She then went on to the astride position and without a word guided his hard, erect, dick into her slick, wet pussy, riding him witth moans of pleasure. This was the signal for her hubby to spread his swap partner's thighs and sink his dick in her pussy in a jiffy. Well, we fucked bare back until both guys exploded with their cum into the respective partner's vagina. After that we lay exhausted, but excited and ready for more sex. Thereafter, on other meets, we had several full-swap sessions with this couple. The two still thank us for initiating them into swinging, and what has become for both, a great way for a couple to invogorate their sex life and enjoy social and sexual life to the fullest.

 

So, to us soft swap is a great way to initiate a couple to full-swap of respective partners for intercourse, as well as to enjoy soft swap sex with another couple who will not consider intercourse with the other's mate, whatever their reasons for not going full-swap.