420 friendly

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I finally learned the origin of the 420-friendly that you see in so many on-line profiles. I had known what it implied; that they like to smoke weed. But why the number 420. Why not 260 or 289 or 999? Well, it seems it is a calender date -- April 20, National Pot Smoking Day. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I feel so out-of-touch with popular culture. I am really alone in this? Tell the truth. Did you know that 420 was a calender date?

 

Post Script: Before you start to dispute this fact, I'll tell you right now, I did not get it from Wikipedia. I heard it on NPR so it has to be right.

[TheLorax 173]

Actually, it's origin is lost. Even NPR doesn't always get the facts right

 

The 4/20 date came after the origins, and that's probably how most people know it. I did some extensive research on it about nine or ten years ago when I started seeing it as graffiti in some of the natural areas I frequent.

 

I have nothing against responsible pot use and might smoke it occasionally if it were legal (occasionally being once or twice a year), but it and most drugs (caffeine being the exception) hold little interest for me.

[Chicup 41]

One theory was due to when CA schools got out in the 70's or some such and 420 was when the kids would smoke after school.

 

All I know is it means we avoid the profile

[xxxboxy 139]

 

All I know is it means we avoid the profile

 

Same.

[socolais 696]

I thought "everyone" knew what 420 meant. I think it started as something of a secret code that only the insiders knew. The secret has been out so long that it is not news anymore.

 

I wonder what it is about being "420 friendly" that makes a couple less desirable as playmates.

[VegasLee 1,486]

I am with Chicup on this one.

 

We don't care if you smoke it but have a problem with people that feel the need to advertise it.

 

Seems most people we know smoke it but none of them feel they need to publicly promote that fact or do it around us.

[creamshot2112 16]

"High Times" says that 420 was a code used over the radio by LA police. It is said to mean "someone smoking pot in a public place"

[TheLorax 173]

creamshot2112 said:

"High Times" says that 420 was a code used over the radio by LA police. It is said to mean "someone smoking pot in a public place"

 

When I was researching the subject a decade ago, the only concrete fact I could find was that the first references in literature I could find was in LA, sometime in the mid to late 70s. There were equally credible sources for it starting in a specific HS regarding the times kids would agree to meet to smoke, and the police code. And it could be that the kids took that from the police code and vice versa.

 

As I said above, I don't have an issue with people who use it recreationally in a responsible fashion, but people who need to be high all of the time aren't really people I want in my life. I don't drink much (once every month or two I'll have a glass of wine and that's about it), and neither of my partners do either. I don't have any issue with people who use alcohol in moderation either, but I don't want to be around people who have to drink to cope with life. Most of my friends, if they smoke pot or drink, do so to a fairly light degree. We distance ourselves from people who have to be messed up to get through the day, people like that have issues that we really don't care to be involved with.

[Guest BamaRide]

Well I didn't have a clue about 420... nor does it bother me that I didn't... If someone has to enhance their mental state to enjoy themselves and others then I just don't feel drawn to that situation.

 

Does that make me 420 unfriendly? Not really...

[xxxboxy 139]

I won't keep company with anyone that I know has illegal possession of a controlled substance. I also don't hang out with folks who brag about speeding far in excess of the posted limits, or anyone who's proud of tax evasion...see a pattern yet?

[Alura 2,774]

The biggest problem with marijuana is that it's illegal. I, too, don't like to see folks overdo it but it's truly a sad thing that it can't be used for a myriad of purposes that would make life easier for some folks. California has made a step forward recently. Hopefully, the rest of the country will follow suit.

 

My idea is to tax it and use the proceeds to fund medical care insurance.

 

Now for my confession. (Don't call the TPD!) When Laura died in February, I was having a really bad time. I couldn't stop crying. Coping seemed impossible. An old friend came by and shared a joint. (I hadn't smoked pot in a very long time.) It was only moments before the tears stopped. (I don't know if this was a physical effect; weed is known to dry out the mucus membranes.) A few seconds later I was giggling, as was my friend. We spent a few hours together. Since that time I no longer have thoughts of joining her and my mind has been directed to the future. I don't know about cancer victims but I can assure you marijuana can be a boon to bereaved widowers.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Alura said:

The biggest problem with marijuana is that it's illegal. I, too, don't like to see folks overdo it but it's truly a sad thing that it can't be used for a myriad of purposes that would make life easier for some folks. California has made a step forward recently. Hopefully, the rest of the country will follow suit.

 

My idea is to tax it and use the proceeds to fund medical care insurance.

 

Now for my confession. (Don't call the TPD!) When Laura died in February, I was having a really bad time. I couldn't stop crying. Coping seemed impossible. An old friend came by and shared a joint. (I hadn't smoked pot in a very long time.) It was only moments before the tears stopped. (I don't know if this was a physical effect; weed is known to dry out the mucus membranes.) A few seconds later I was giggling, as was my friend. We spent a few hours together. Since that time I no longer have thoughts of joining her and my mind has been directed to the future. I don't know about cancer victims but I can assure you marijuana can be a boon to bereaved widowers.

 

I'm with you, Alura. I haven't tried pot since graduate school, and basically I don't do it because it's illegal. I don't want a bloody trail to end with me getting high. But it can be a good thing, just like alcohol, and I had to smile when a friend quoted the adage that "no one ever got in a bar fight after smoking a joint".

 

That being said, if someone feels being 420 friendly is important enough to include on their profile, that makes me a little suspicious of their judgment. I figure that means they are inclined to include pot in their swinging activities, and I don't want to be around when they get busted.

[Chicup 41]

That being said, if someone feels being 420 friendly is important enough to include on their profile, that makes me a little suspicious of their judgment. I figure that means they are inclined to include pot in their swinging activities, and I don't want to be around when they get busted.

 

Exactly. Its not so much a judgment about pot but a judgment about the couple. I'm most likely in the minority in that I've NEVER tried it, nor will I, but I'm not naive enough to think that everyone we know is clean too. They just don't make it a part of their life thats important enough to find people who make it a part of their life too.

 

Its like putting your political inclinations in your profile. It will turn off those who don't share your views, because obviously your views are so important to you need to share them with anyone.

[RDfnd 180]

Exactly. Its not so much a judgment about pot but a judgment about the couple. I'm most likely in the minority in that I've NEVER tried it, nor will I, but I'm not naive enough to think that everyone we know is clean too. They just don't make it a part of their life thats important enough to find people who make it a part of their life too.

 

Its like putting your political inclinations in your profile. It will turn off those who don't share your views, because obviously your views are so important to you need to share them with anyone.

 

Quite opinionated responses that may or may not be warranted. Loosen up! Perhaps those that state it are just attempting to communicate it's OK not mandatory. 420 and politics? In Swing Lifestyle- Drinkers OK/ Smokers OK. Just some indications of habits. Hypothetically, all of us that participate in this alternative lifestyle want unique sexual experiences. There is an abundance of advice to communicate, communicate, communicate. Even if one doesn't like it or for various reasons or didn't want to be around it, is it worth eliminating a potentially otherwise great couple? Would it be better for them to not raise the issue and just show up expecting that it is OK? I am continually fascinated by those that can presumably think "outside of the box" sexually, but may be considered so judgmental on other issues. We don't indulge regularly, but sex and 420 can be a great experience.

[xxxboxy 139]

It's not judgmental, it's called not breaking the law and not putting yourself in a position to come under legal scrutiny. I may not personally agree with many laws but that doesn't mean I get to ignore them and do whatever I want.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I don't see people putting 420 in their profiles any different than saying your smoke or drink. I think some people do it because they enjoy mixing it with their sex. I saw a profile once that read "no IV drugs" and it made me wonder what all that included, maybe a little ecstacy with their sex too? I have no idea and no curiousity to find out. We too avoid profiles with 420 in their profiles, only because it's something we don't have in common and I'm looking for a closer match than that.

[VegasLee 1,486]

I don't see people putting 420 in their profiles any different than saying your smoke or drink.

 

The main difference and why 420 is not allowed at our club is that most of the time you can't be arrested for Drinking and Smoking.

[Alura 2,774]

VegasLee said:

The main difference and why 420 is not allowed at our club is that most of the time you can't be arrested for Drinking and Smoking.

 

Oklahoma held with the "illegal alcohol" nonsense until 1969, VegasLee, before it was legalized. It was many more years until it was legal to go into a bar and order a drink in the Sooner state. And y'know what? As soon as it was legalized, crimes like drunk driving, armed robbery and even murder were reduced.

 

However, (to get back to the subject at hand) every couple, in my opinion, has the right to pick their playmates based on what ever criteria they choose. If you like mud wrestling, put that in your profile. You may find like-minded folks.

[RDfnd 180]

xxxboxy said:

It's not judgmental, it's called not breaking the law and not putting yourself in a position to come under legal scrutiny. I may not personally agree with many laws but that doesn't mean I get to ignore them and do whatever I want.

 

If one holds your opinions, then it would seem that they would appreciate knowing up front in the profile to avoid "breaking the law and not putting yourself in a position to come under legal scrutiny".

 

Many "lifestyle" activities themselves were "illegal".  How many states have changed and in what ways would be interesting to know. My guess would be a minority.

 

On the other hand these states have adopted policies to decriminalize the personal use of marijuana:

 

From NORML:

 

States That Have Decriminalized

 

The following states have passed laws decriminalizing marijuana. Typically, decriminalization means no prison time or criminal record for first-time possession of a small amount for personal consumption. The conduct is treated like a minor traffic violation.

 

Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi

Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon.

 

Quote

I don't see people putting 420 in their profiles any different than saying your smoke or drink. I think some people do it because they enjoy mixing it with their sex. I saw a profile once that read "no IV drugs" and it made me wonder what all that included, maybe a little ecstacy with their sex too? I have no idea and no curiousity to find out. We too avoid profiles with 420 in their profiles, only because it's something we don't have in common and I'm looking for a closer match than that."

__________________

~Lilo "

Lilo's post really sums it up.

 

Openly communicating about likes, dislikes, preferences, limits etc. in profiles I feel is an effort to find the most compatible partners as efficiently as possible. Of course it can be overdone but perhaps as in other aspects of life, more knowledge is better than less. All must decide for themselves. If you see real potential attraction, but one aspect or even more may need to be negotiated do you just pass a couple by or address the issue? We'd most likely address the issue and see where things went from there. Engaging in all activities at a speed that is comfortable to all is one of the primary codes of swinger conduct is it not?

 

Quote

The main difference and why 420 is not allowed at our club is that most of the time you can't be arrested for Drinking and Smoking.

Vegas Lee

 

 

In club possession/ use certainly may have different implications for owners and others many steps removed from consenting couples or singles privately and therefore those restrictions are understandable.

 

Quote

Oklahoma held with the "illegal alcohol" nonsense until 1969, VegasLee, before it was legalized. It was many more years until it was legal to go into a bar and order a drink in the Sooner state. And y'know what? As soon as it was legalized, crimes like drunk driving, armed robbery and even murder were reduced.

 

However, (to get back to the subject at hand) every couple, in my opinion, has the right to pick their playmates based on what ever criteria they choose. If you like mud wrestling, put that in your profile. You may find like-minded folks.

 

We agree with you Mr. Alura

[DE_BBC 15]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_(cannabis_culture))

 

this is what I found.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

I am with Chicup on this one.

 

We don't care if you smoke it but have a problem with people that feel the need to advertise it.

 

Seems most people we know smoke it but none of them feel they need to publicly promote that fact or do it around us.

 

Ditto for us. If you advertise it, it's obviously very important to you, more important than other aspects of your profile. I wouldn't avoid them if we met them in person, but I wouldn't reach out online to contact them.

 

And yes, I did know what 420 meant, but only because of someone I used to travel with that had to educate the naive blonde.... A few years ago, no.

 

Mrs NC

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Actually, it's origin is lost. Even NPR doesn't always get the facts right

This is like when my Aunt Shirley told me that Santa Clause was not real.

[TheLorax 173]

This is like when my Aunt Shirley told me that Santa Clause was not real.

 

I know, it's hard to accept sometimes. Good thing the Easter Bunny is real!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

One theory was due to when CA schools got out in the 70's or some such and 420 was when the kids would smoke after school.

 

All I know is it means we avoid the profile

 

ditto on both counts. The time 4:20 theory was what I've always heard as the reason behind the number.

 

As far as being 420 friendly... I have no problem if you do it, but to me saying you are "420 friendly" implies that you are likely to do it in my presence. What you do in your own home I have no issue with. I tried it, I even inhaled... it just makes me feel worse than any hang-over I've had from drinking.

[Chicup 41]

On a side note we were once contacted by a couple with this in their profile.

 

I replied politely that we were D/D free and that wasn't part of our lifestyle, or something we were interested in.

 

They removed it from their profile.

[AuburnCpl 15]

Quite opinionated responses that may or may not be warranted. Loosen up!

 

I agree. This isn't the first time I've seen this topic brought up on here only to have an overwhelming response of that's just wrong. Really surprising to hear from this group of "open-minded" folks.

Some of you are really demonizing those who are "420 friendly" and you're using it's (quickly-changing) legal status as an excuse. If you're hosting a party and you don't want it in your house, that's fair. But you sound like everyone who smokes a bowl is in the same group as those who are sitting behind a dumpster shooting up heroin after robbing someone to buy it.

 

Pot is just like many other things - ok in moderation. It's one thing to take a hit or two at the end of the day. It's another to get baked and feel the need to be stoned 24/7. Just like it's one thing to have a glass of wine with dinner as opposed to getting sloppy-drunk. 420-friendly doesn't mean 420-mandatory.

 

If you're judging someone because their profile says they're 420-friendly, you're probably doing them a favor by not contacting them if you're going to have such a hair up your ass.

[Rackir 159]

I'd always heard that 420 came from the ideal time to sneak off and smoke a bowl to get the full effect right after work. Smoke at 4:20, be good and baked at 5:00. Interesting to hear all the other origins of the phrase (my wife actually asked me what 420 meant just the other night due to an email we received from some potential playmates).

 

For me personally, I'll smoke a little pot maybe once a year, or even every two years and then I remember why I don't smoke. Pot makes me feel stupid in a way that alcohol can't even begin to touch, and I just don’t like feeling stupid. If others want to do it though I have 0 problem with that. I drink, others smoke, or work out, or do coke or whatever. Their all just ways of helping yourself feel good and I have no problem with any of them until they become a problem.

 

As for putting it in your profile, I think this thread shows why its a good idea. Some people do have a problem with it, and even have a problem with people who indulge in it. So rather than get as far as a meeting before finding out that this couples habit makes them incompatible, they allow themselves to be disqualified right out of the gate.

 

Just seems polite to me.

[AuburnCpl 15]

As for putting it in your profile, I think this thread shows why its a good idea. Some people do have a problem with it, and even have a problem with people who indulge in it. So rather than get as far as a meeting before finding out that this couples habit makes them incompatible, they allow themselves to be disqualified right out of the gate.

 

Just seems polite to me.

 

Pretty much along the lines with my last paragraph but much more eloquent.

 

Putting it in the profile doesn't mean that they're going to try to make you do it. Most 420-friendly people I know are WELL aware that it's not for everyone and don't have a problem with not doing around those that are not comfortable with it. If they're not willing to respect that, they may not respect a lot of other things and you're better off without them. But don't assume that everyone that smokes it is Cheech and Chong. Saying you're 420-friendly doesn't necessarily mean that THEY smoke - just that they're tolerant. It just seems that there are a wide-range of things that it could mean so it may be worth at least talking to them to find out what it means to them and see how well that matches with what you're comfortable with.

[xxxboxy 139]

Pretty much along the lines with my last paragraph but much more eloquent.

 

Putting it in the profile doesn't mean that they're going to try to make you do it. Most 420-friendly people I know are WELL aware that it's not for everyone and don't have a problem with not doing around those that are not comfortable with it. If they're not willing to respect that, they may not respect a lot of other things and you're better off without them. But don't assume that everyone that smokes it is Cheech and Chong. Saying you're 420-friendly doesn't necessarily mean that THEY smoke - just that they're tolerant. It just seems that there are a wide-range of things that it could mean so it may be worth at least talking to them to find out what it means to them and see how well that matches with what you're comfortable with.

 

Well...see, that's where we have a difference of opinion but clearly have some of the same thoughts. My view is if you're not going to respect the law then you're likely to not respect other things and I'm better off without...

[TheLorax 173]

I agree. This isn't the first time I've seen this topic brought up on here only to have an overwhelming response of that's just wrong. Really surprising to hear from this group of "open-minded" folks..

 

I have two responses to this.

 

First, my read has been of the folks that have responded, the majority is split between the "I don't do it, never would" crowd and the "I don't do it, or only occasionally, but don't have any real problem with those who do it casually."

 

And then there's a minority of people who actively smoke who respond.

A vocal few who are adamantly against is is hardly a majority.

Telling them that they're just uptight probably won't change their minds any.

 

Second, it seems like a lot of folks whose personal preferences are gone against by some number of respondants drag out the old "swingers are supposed to be so open minded" response. Well, I'm here to tell you that's a load of crap. As a whole swingers are no more open minded than the rest of society. Merely going against a social norm in no way makes someone "open minded." Swinging may attract a large cross section of white middle class society, but they often have little in common other than swinging. Most swingers either don't talk much about their beliefs, or they seek out other swingers who share their beliefs.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

If you're judging someone because their profile says they're 420-friendly, you're probably doing them a favor by not contacting them if you're going to have such a hair up your ass.

 

You're getting pretty uptight there. If only there were some way you could self-medicate in order to loosen up some...

 

I tried it and don't care for it. Mrs two4you does enjoy it, but never in my presence. It's a respect thing you see.

As for profiles, we're more interested in the swinging part, and less interested in whether or not you smoke.

 

 

FWIW, I do believe it should be legalized.

 

 

As a whole swingers are no more open minded than the rest of society. Merely going against a social norm in no way makes someone "open minded."

THIS X 1000!

+1 for you.

[Act Naturally 15]

RDfnd said:

I am continually fascinated by those that can presumably think "outside of the box" sexually, but may be considered so judgmental on other issues..

 

I think this is a very valid point! If one can understand the there are differences of opinion on something like sex, why can't there be deviations from the "norm" in other areas. It's illegal in Texas to have oral or anal sex but do people still do it? YES! In the military they also prohibit sexual positions and such that others see as release or foreplay. Just something to think about...

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Act Naturally said:

It's illegal in Texas to have oral or anal sex but do people still do it? YES!

 

No it isn't.

 

Citation

[xxxboxy 139]

You're getting pretty uptight there. If only there were some way you could self-medicate in order to loosen up some...

 

I tried it and don't care for it. Mrs two4you does enjoy it, but never in my presence. It's a respect thing you see.

As for profiles, we're more interested in the swinging part, and less interested in whether or not you smoke.

 

 

FWIW, I do believe it should be legalized.

 

 

 

THIS X 1000!

+1 for you.

 

Believe it or not so do I....but it's not.

[Guest BamaRide]

Kinda takes the fun out of things doesn't it?

 

Well not as bad a Alabama... here if it isn't missionary its bad!

 

Boring!

[Act Naturally 15]

Basically yeah! LMFAO!!! I guess I'm just trying to say that just cuz a group of people don't agree with something doesn't mean the participants should be ostracized or ridiculed for their individual choices. How far should one allow the "norms" of our society to dictate our individual views? Maybe the things that we find ourselves shunning from should be analyzed. Or rather our reason for disagreeing with a subject should be reviewed.

[rdy2playxxx 15]

I'm sure I'll get crucified for this, but here goes... I personally don"t smoke pot, it makes me physically ill and I end up being sick for several days afterwards. But just because it's something I don't do doesn't give me the right to chastise those who do.

 

I consider myself a very "Non-Judgemental" person and feel the what ever you do in your life is your business, unless your a murderer or child molester I really do care what you do.

 

I've read a lot of the replies about this topic here and I it seems to me that most of them are hypocritical and very judgemental with assumptions made about 420 users. I agree that smoking pot in most states is illegal, but that's all it is.

 

I enjoy an Adult Lifestyle just as much as anyone else here, but I do wonder how some can judge and put down the 420 users, or the people who "Speed in excess", or are "Tax Evaders"...all while they are fucking someone else's Wife or Husband. Just something to think about.

[xxxboxy 139]

No, not really hard to figure out at all. Pot smokers, speeders and tax evaders are all breaking the law. Fucking other people isn't. I really can't believe some folks are having a hard time understanding this distinction....even more surprising is the lack of respect for our laws. You don't have to agree with them, or like them but you should respect them and if you want them changed we have processes for that...and it shouldn't involve ignoring them.

[Guest BamaRide]

xxxboxy said:

No, not really hard to figure out at all. Pot smokers, speeders and tax evaders are all breaking the law. Fucking other people isn't.

 

Unless you reside in Alabama! LOL...

 

My ONLY problem with pot... is that I don't care to exist in an altered mental state... legal or not...I wouldn't do it.