Are most male swingers bisexual?

[carrysmith 57]

I've been going with my husband to a great upscale swingers club and we've done eight full swaps with other couples, but to our surprise, during the heat of the moment the male half of the other couple wants to have sex with my husband (my hubby is 100% straight). The wives of these guys are totally cool with their husbands being bisexual and encourage them to have sex with men. We've noticed this is very common among the swinging couples in South Florida.

 

My question is this normal among swinging couples everywhere?

 

I have another question too. We've noticed that among swingers here in South Florida it's never enough sex! At the clubs they will have sex with 5, 8, 10 people or couples and it's 5:00 a.m. and they are still searching for more sex. I've come to the conclusion that it is either motivated by sex drugs or mental issues or both. Is this normal with swingers everywhere too?

 

What do you guys think on both of these issues? I would really appreciate your feedback and experience on this. Thank you very much.

[WeDive 57]

Although there are some, it would be a stretch to say the "most" male swingers are bi-sexual. Mr. WeDive is not.

 

Umm.....a lot of swingers do enjoy sex just for the pure enjoyment of it....not fueled by drugs or mental illness.

[TheLorax 173]

As a bisexual male, my estimation is that about half of the men I've known who were swingers were completely and totally straight. No interest in any male contact at all. Of the other half, maybe four in five didn't mind some contact with another man to varying degrees from didn't mind casual touching to being ok with another man doing things to them but didn't want to reciprocate. The other one fifth of the remainder was bisexual from the point of enjoying male-male sex to "could have emotional relationships with another man."

 

That's my unscientific sampling as a keen social observer.

 

As far as the unsatiated sex goes, I suspect that's sampling bias. This means that the types of people who go to swingers clubs or get togethers where sex is allowed are more likely the types of people who like to have sex often with several partners in a night. Some might call these folks hard-core swingers (pun intended), but again, my experience has been that most swingers I've known over the years who considered themselves part of the "Lifestyle" (as opposed to couples who dip their, errr, toes into the water and do it for a little while then stop) have a few regular partners they swing with, are open to meeting new couples, but might only have sex with another couple from a few times a month to a couple times a year.

 

Don't fall into the trap of thinking "your" type of swinging is superior. That's an ugly way of looking down on other folks..

[Chicup 41]

No, it's not normal for our area at all and most people seem to be one couple for the night types.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Mr. Fuse has never had a man come on to him in a swinging situation. This surprises me because we've had enough experiences that I expected it to happen at some point.

 

We have never been to an on-premise event (except house parties). It is much easier to seek many partners in one night in the on-premise situation, so I'd expect a higher percentage of people at those events to be doing that.

 

We know a few people who enjoy having sex with multiple people for hours on end or in several sessions during a house party. But most of our friends prefer either one other couple or maybe a few in a night. Personally I am happiest with one, because I enjoy focusing.

[Guest BamaRide]

We have only had one time when there was an expressed interest in male on male action... this one time really shocked me as it was clearly the gentleman of the 'other' couple that had designs on me... me ... straight as a string! I simple stated that I was flattered and beyond that not the least bit intersted.

 

So when I saw the topic asking if 'MOST' male swingers were bi it was a suprise because it seems more rare than common from where I sit.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

In my experience... nope, it's been closer to a 80% / 20% split for straight / bisexual (or even bicurious) males in the lifestyle.

 

It really will vary depending on your location & the particular groups that you run in.

[carrysmith 57]

ive also noticed the type of swinging or so called swingers that we have here in southflorida are like no other ive met upnorth,we perffer the swingers outside southflorida personally,,,,id say out of 10 couples we have met at our club,8 of them the male is bisexuall & usually ends making a pass at my husband & to our surprize when he declines all of a sudden that couple isnt interested in us anymore(sad isnt it)...and also is heavy drinking/drugs the norm with swingers allover or is just a southflorida thing?...the club we go to & the private house parties we've attended heavy drinking/drugs is pretty muchthe norm, 2 hours into the party, they are sluring,getting aggressive or jumping aruond like idiots due to all the coke theyve done..agin i dont if its just a southflorida thing here or what?...ill be honest the word swing or swingers doesnt even apply to southflorida belive me......

[Chicup 41]

And here I was thinking how much more attractive and fun the South florida swingers seem to be.

 

Ah well grass is always greener

[VegasLee 1,486]

In 30+ years I can only remember finding a club like you are talking about maybe six times. That is not the normal at all.

 

Not sure what club you are talking about and I know a few of them in Florida but I know that the owners of the ones I know would not allow that type of nonsense to be going on with the drugs. Most "real" clubs will kick out anyone that even thinks about using drugs in their club.

 

Sounds to me like you have found a bi-sexual underground club and not one of the main stream swingers clubs. If that is not your scene as you have stated I have to wonder why you keep going back?

 

Since you have stated that you have gone to other clubs up north and they are not like that you have the answer to your questions.

 

Good sense says don't go where you are not comfortable or you end up in trouble.

[dumbasarock10 49]

I think alot of that has to do with the person individually. Some guys may seem more approachable than others. I, myself have been hit on a time or 2, but not at the swingers clubs; just vanilla clubs. Go figure. And although I'm not bi, I will admit I am curious. I just haven't done anything yet. But my point is; because maybe I'm a bit curious, those who are may pick up on that and decide I'm worth talking to. Others may not be. That's my perspective.

 

As for the all-night-sex issue? I haven't seen any sex drugs and wouldn't entertain any myself. Nor would my partner. Only guess I could offer is they're just really horny. Nothing wrong with that. But I'd just suggest trying a different club if that one bothers you. Best of luck, have fun.

[hamlet 53]

Up until recently, I would have brushed this question aside, as we'd almost never run into bisexual males in the lifestyle. We've been to clubs all over the United States and a bunch in Europe as well, and the only time we've ever seen bisexual activity was an MMF threesome we observed in Vienna. Even then, we didn't believe it until we took a more focused look at exactly whose organs were lodged in exactly which orifices.

 

Lately, however, my wife has become more open to the idea of meeting single men--we've played with single men at parties, for sure, but rarely done private MMFs. I've been on Adultfriendfinder a lot, trying to weed out the many volunteers so that she can choose from a short list. And I've been downright astonished at how hard it seems to be to find straight males. Don't get me wrong: we think bisexual males are cool--after all, my wife's as bisexual as they come, and that's entirely cool--but me, I'm completely straight and, for the sake of keeping our health risks down, we'd rather stick to straight guys. After 11 years in the lifestyle, I never would have dreamed they'd be the apparent minority of single men. But, based on the wholly unscientific sample derived from my search, I'm beginning to wonder. Maybe it's just starting to feel more safe for men to reveal their bisexuality (and, if so, bravo!) or maybe there have always been this many men who are bi and out about it, and I've just had my head in the sand about it. Whatever the case, it feels to me as if it's on the rise.

[TheLorax 173]

Whatever the case, it feels to me as if it's on the rise.

 

We recruit, you know. Once you've tried bi, you'll never go back!

 

Bwaaahhahaaaahhaaahaaa!

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I'm not familiar with the South Florida region... is that a very gay-/bi-friendly region? (i.e., San Francisco... West Hollywood)

 

If so... that could explain the prevalence & skew that you're experiencing.

[Guest BamaRide]

I'm not familiar with the South Florida region... is that a very gay-/bi-friendly region? (i.e., San Francisco... West Hollywood)

 

If so... that could explain the prevalence & skew that you're experiencing.

 

Key West.... male chastity belt recommended!

[SheLovesTheSun 40]

My boyfriend wouldn't mind having more bi interaction, but in his experiences, the guys were totally straight and not interested in playing with another man.

[carrysmith 57]

yes in Miami/Shout Beach/Key West there's alottttttt of gays & two our surprise in the last couple of years it seems that every guy we meet is either 100% bisex or bi curious. That's basically becoming the normal down here... and we do agree with you (BamaRide) about the male chastity belt in Key West, many public officals in keywest are openly gay.

[jim41537@sbcglo 15]

I'm a single male and I have had several experiences with the mmf wher this has ocurred.I am selectively interested if mutual with all 3 but only oral no anal. I think most men are bi and I think the prison system would support that when no females are available the latent bi sexual inhibition diminishes and thus the need to share sex with another be it female or male surfaces ou t of that need to share sex.

[Rackir 159]

According to some studies, the overwhelming majority of all men (and women) are at least to some degree bisexual. So from that point of view it would follow that most swingers are also bi.

 

However the portion of those that have ever, or will ever, engage in bisexual conduct is a MUCH smaller number. And of those the majority (it seems) are those who have tried it in the past, but have no intention on ever trying it again, making the active bisexual population even smaller still.

 

So even if the swinger community has a higher than average rate of male bisexuality (which wouldn't surprise me), I think it's probably far short of "most", and casual non-scientific observation seems to back that view (though I suspect there are allot out there who simply wont admit it for fear of ostracism). Certainly not enough by my count anyways! Just think, if everyone were bi, than everyone’s chances of hooking up on any given night would automatically double !

[ConnieJim 40]

While a large precentage of the females tend to be Bi. Here in middle TN the precent of bi men is rather low with couples in the lifestyle.

[694fun 15]

I think it depends on the wife, we enjoy seeing them with other women. We had one couple that the wife was really turned on by male male contact, it made her so hot she could not stand it. So I did it, it was OK, but not what the the same as being with women.

[carrysmith 57]

St the club we go to it is full of bi men. I'd say a good 80% of the men in there are bi or gay & we even have men that specifically come in looking for men. The couples/orgy room should be renamed the cockfest room..lol.....we & other memebers have noticed that the single/bisexual men have scared off a lot of good looing swinging couples.

[bitNtim 84]

We would agree with the 80/20 split up here in Ontario. At house parties we have found the male/male contact is rare with the exception of some touching etc. Lately we have found male bisexuality more common in our couple to couple encounters.

[wild stud 17]

Why is it such a big thing for a male to enjoy another male in a MMF threesome? If a female does in a MFF threesome not a big deal. I was straight 8 when we started to swing and all the males we enjoyed in a mmf threesome were also, then we hooked up with a bi male. Well this made a mmf threesome a whole lot more fun for all of us. I did not have to set and play with my cock while another male fuckedthe wife. We all got involved and touching that other male was not a big thing or him touching me. The wife also enjoyed. So I guess you can say I turned bi.

 

But there have been a number of polls on MMF threesomes and 90 percent of the females say in a MMF threesome they prefer the males to be bi, bicurious. or at least bi friendly, so what does that tell us guys. Just my two cents.

[TheLorax 173]

Why is it such a big thing for a male to enjoy another male in a MMF threesome..

 

Because, for whatever reasons, many men are not only not interested in male-male contact of any sort, many are uncomfortable with it to a degree varying from a little to "touch me and I'll punch your lights out." Why do something that turns you off?

 

I don't see any real issue with it. While some folks may expand their horizons while swinging, swinging isn't all about pushing those horizons either.

 

I am, of course, a completely bisexual male who respects guys who aren't. If some guy wants to play, or to experiment, I'm fine with it. If they don't, I don't have to play with them any more than I would with a woman who wasn't interested in me.

[carrysmith 57]

One thing that doesn't make any sense to us is, yes we have realized there's a lot of bisexual men in swinging, at least in our city, but the club we go to, men on men contact sexually isn't allowed, they will actualy get kicked out for that. They have security staff looking for men/men contact. I was woundering is it like this in most swingers clubs or is men/men contact alllowed?

[slevin 1,374]

Male/Male contact isn't banished at the club we go to, but it also doesn't happen. We've never seen it at all anytime we've been there. The club owners have mentioned that they have no problem with it at all and would like to be able to let gay male couples in to party. The trouble there is they know that two straight guys would come in as "a couple" and it would be a pain to manage. They only let single guys in on particular days and keep most nights as "couples only".

[PB&J 1,086]

There's now a Toronto club that advertises Sundays as "Bi nights", to cater to the bi of either gender crowd.

[Rackir 159]

There's now a Toronto club that advertises Sundays as "Bi nights", to cater to the bi of either gender crowd.

 

Our club has a once a month "Omnisexual" night.

[realcplub2 513]

One thing that doesn't make any sense to us is, yes we have realized there's a lot of bisexual men in swinging, at least in our city, but the club we go to, men on men contact sexually isn't allowed, they will actualy get kicked out for that. They have security staff looking for men/men contact. I was woundering is it like this in most swingers clubs or is men/men contact alllowed?

 

It's the area you are in, Being as close to Miami as you are, it's a fairly easy thing to assume that's the reason. The clubs in central Florida aren't that way at all.

 

There was a club in the Indian River area, not sure if they are still there, and another in Melbourne.

 

And no, it's not often allowed, in any capacity. But what goes on in private rooms is supposed to be no one's business.

[carrysmith 57]

We personally don't like to meet or associate with bisexual men, tho we have 10 full gay male friends that are super cool, In our experinces/opinion, we have bad experinces with bisex men, the ones we've known are way too much drama/problems/confusion. They have either gotten in arguments with us or with their wives at a club/party. From what we have seen, high drama follows bisexual men, at least the ones we've known...

[SwingCpl2 41]

I tend to agree with the orginal poster.

 

The first time we swung, I had NO idea who was sucking my dick (with a woman sitting on my face). A guy sucked my dick without my knowledge, so does that make me bi?

 

When a woman is riding my face and I'm getting the best head of my life, am I going to care if it is a male or female who is doing the sucking? Never even entered my mind at the time!

 

My experience at the Chicago area clubs is almost ALL single guys wanting to be with a couple are open to m/m contact during a 3some. The same goes for AFF and other swing sites.

 

Just as an experiment on AFF, I put up two profiles, one as a bi couple and the other as a straight couple looking for a male to join us. Pretty much the same group of single guys replied. Many stating, "my profile says straight but I would want to suck your dick." In their response to the other profile, they were completely straight!

 

My guess is 80-90% of single guys looking for couples are bi to some degree.

 

With couples, I was suprised how many guys are bi. When we meet other couples, we do tell them that we are OK with m/m contact, but do not expect me to recripcate. We have been with about 30 couples, alot of "straight" men wanted to feel or suck my dick once I told them I was open to it. My guess is only about 10% admit being bi when asked, but behind closed doors with an couple who is accepting of the other guy being bi and it jumps up past 50%.

 

I always felt I was 100% straight until I started swinging. I still am very passively bi, but it certainly doesn't bother me if a guy wants to feel my dick and size me up before I give his wife the ride of her life... If he wants to suck his his wife's juices off my dick when I'm done, more power to him.

[nxgn1 40]

According to some studies, the overwhelming majority of all men (and women) are at least to some degree bisexual. So from that point of view it would follow that most swingers are also bi.

 

However the portion of those that have ever, or will ever, engage in bisexual conduct is a MUCH smaller number. And of those the majority (it seems) are those who have tried it in the past, but have no intention on ever trying it again, making the active bisexual population even smaller still.

 

So even if the swinger community has a higher than average rate of male bisexuality (which wouldn't surprise me), I think it's probably far short of "most", and casual non-scientific observation seems to back that view (though I suspect there are allot out there who simply wont admit it for fear of ostracism). Certainly not enough by my count anyways! Just think, if everyone were bi, than everyone’s chances of hooking up on any given night would automatically double !

 

 

I tend to agree with most of this stuff. I have had a few bisexual experiences before and all though they where a turn. It really was not my thing. For me I find that if things happen in a 3 some and your not paranoid about being overly close to another man and just letting general things happen and I'm really not talking about giving another man head. It can be fantastic. When married to my ex wife we swung fairly often.

 

We had one friend my wife enjoyed because of his rather thick cock.. She loved nothing more than me licking her clit and all her pussy while he was fucking her. For this you better not be to gun shy. Also probably the best orgasm I had every had we where both inside her at the same time. We could literally feel each other all three of us came at the same time filling my then wife with and extreme amount of come that ran down all her legs. She loved it.

[sahajacpl 95]

Most swinger males bi? No way. Sounds like sampling bias. It appears the original poster went to a "couples club" primarily for gay men.

[GerdOEvert 51]

Well, my psychiatrist says we are all bi, it is just a matter of degree.

 

My opinion is that bi women have easier acceptance than bi men.

 

When we were at a club and there was any bi action, it was always in

a closed room and private. Often an aggressive bi guy would want to

meet some place else for a MMF later.

 

I am bi. We had some adventures, but I prefer women. But the best BJ

I ever got was from a guy. He really knew what he was doing, and completely

drained me.

 

I love bi women. Sometimes at a club, a bi guy has a real urge and need, but

since it is not accepted widely, that is fulfilled in a private room, at least in my experience.

 

Our Club had a bi night, and that was Thursdays.

[viajero 40]

It seems to make sense that a lot of single male swingers would be secretly bi. If you were single shouldn't you be spending your time looking for a new girlfriend first rather than chasing couples? I understand a straight guy needing a break from the dating scene and jumping at the chance to swing but I expect his preference would be a bisexual female couple. If a guy is perpetually single and only swings you have to wonder don't you?

 

There are clearly many gay and bi men in South Florida but I feel that has more to do with the open sexual culture than anything else. As people become more open sexually they are more likely to act on their curiosities. Also I think Latin men have a less prudish attitude towards sex than most Americans. There is the attitude that any hole will do.

[DigginIt 1,132]

It seems to make sense that a lot of single male swingers would be secretly bi. If you were single shouldn't you be spending your time looking for a new girlfriend first rather than chasing couples?

 

I think I would agree with that statement but I'm sure you can't just make a blanket statement like that to be completely fair.

 

As far as the original question of 'are most male swingers by-sexual?' I am not homophobic but I have absolutely no desire or curiosity to know how anything would feel with another man. In a MFM situation or even MFMF there can be a lot of accidental or misguided groping but it better be accidental or misguided. Would I be able to tell the difference if it was a woman or man, maybe not but I don't care to find out.

 

In a MFM scenario, it's all about my wife and we (me and the other guy) are there to make her experience the best it can be. Keep your attention on her please!

 

I have no problem with others that are bi-sexual as they respect my boundaries. If your wife had boundaries and another guy or woman overstepped them I'm sure you would be pissed. It's the same with me. Be respectful or be with someone else. That's it.

[Mr.Essex 264]

No, most single male swingers in America aren't actively bisexual. To be honest, I've met my share of single male swingers who would... "go the extra mile" to have access to a woman (America), but I've never met a bisexual, "I'll take what I can get.", male swinger. Europe, OTOH, is full of heteroflexible men. And given the location of the OP, I'd assume that they've found themselves surrounded by people with "international" experience.

[Lalocaweta 15]

I can really only answer for my part of the world (Central Texas). My husband IS bisexual and we have pretty much given up on finding other couples via the traditional swingers clubs/sites where the male is open about his bisexuality.

For some reason, it is considered perfectly acceptable for the women to be bisexual, but there remains a stigma on male bisexuality. I really don't understand it. And as my husband says - if your eyes are closed - you can't tell who is sucking your dick and it still feels great.......(Hopefully)

[FitCpl30s 17]

I can really only answer for my part of the world (Central Texas). My husband IS bisexual and we have pretty much given up on finding other couples via the traditional swingers clubs/sites where the male is open about his bisexuality.

For some reason, it is considered perfectly acceptable for the women to be bisexual, but there remains a stigma on male bisexuality. I really don't understand it. And as my husband says - if your eyes are closed - you can't tell who is sucking your dick and it still feels great.......(Hopefully)

 

That is so true.

[SIR_DRAGONFIRE5 15]

I would say it's found on ocassion in couples, but not frequently. If it's not what you're looking for, say to them, I'm sorry We're looking for Straight couples for swinging. The couples where the guy is bi, should say so up front from the beginning!

[Guest lovegeneration]

I think women in such couples are bisexual!

[Miss Behaven 16]

I am Bi and my husband has recently said that he's curious. We haven't went down that road yet, it's been just talk. I'm on the fence about it, but am willing to let him explore his interest in it. That being said, I don't know if he'll ever get over the psychological mountain and actually try it. He wants me to 69 him while getting fucked from behind, so he can lick my clit. I'm game for that =)

[Tsman44 0]

I have to say and comment to this.
We are a married couple and we have had many experiences with MMF. Most of the men we have had experience with are either married and/or dating, but the minority are single men. Most of these men consider me lucky where as my wife is considered a unicorn, sadly another hypocritical label given 
The hypocrisy of bi male verses bi woman is crazy. I think a lot of swinging couples have bi men but the women partner,  has a hard time in thinking she can’t compete with it or believes they must be gay, which is sadly labeled by gay men who can’t except men being bi.
The very sad part about this is a bi- male partner will never be open about wanting to experience bi male. If they do they will only do it on the down low. 

We have many men who contact us through SLS that label themselves as straight but in private they open up to us as wanting that male bi experience. Also SLS logo rhythms also send us matches of men list as straight when we know it’s primarily not the case.

I want to be clear in this analogy that we look only for  mutual bi men experience. 
So to answer the question, Do male swingers want that bi experience ? My bet based on our experience, that is it’s more like woman, I think there is as many bi men as there is bi woman. In our experiences in talking with men on the down low if you will may present it softly but see there female partners shoot it down with disgust or displeasure. 
We have played with a couple with the wife being bi and the male was curious but the wife shut it down. That I can’t really explain but only that of my original belief.

Granted none of this is scientific, but I believe we have in our experience, that many men claiming to be straight or bi just won’t  be honest, but only in the down low or secret, only because of fear of judgement or losing their partner. Sad but true.

[Tsman44 0]

I have to say and comment to this.
We are a married couple and we have had many experiences with MMF. Most of the men we have had experience with are either married and/or dating, but the minority are single men. Most of these men consider me lucky where as my wife is considered a unicorn, sadly another hypocritical label given 
The hypocrisy of bi male verses bi woman is crazy. I think a lot of swinging couples have bi men but the women partner,  has a hard time in thinking she can’t compete with it or believes they must be gay, which is sadly labeled by gay men who can’t except men being bi.
The very sad part about this is a bi- male partner will never be open about wanting to experience bi male. If they do they will only do it on the down low. 

We have many men who contact us through SLS that label themselves as straight but in private they open up to us as wanting that male bi experience. Also SLS logo rhythms also send us matches of men list as straight when we know it’s primarily not the case.

I want to be clear in this analogy that we look only for  mutual bi men experience. 
So to answer the question, Do male swingers want that bi experience ? My bet based on our experience, that is it’s more like woman, I think there is as many bi men as there is bi woman. In our experiences in talking with men on the down low if you will may present it softly but see there female partners shoot it down with disgust or displeasure. 
We have played with a couple with the wife being bi and the male was curious but the wife shut it down. That I can’t really explain but only that of my original belief.

Granted none of this is scientific, but I believe we have in our experience, that many men claiming to be straight or bi just won’t  be honest, but only in the down low or secret, only because of fear of judgement or losing their partner. Sad but true.

[njbm 2,868]

If a man lists as bi, a lot of hetero males will skip over their online profile. Agree, many are on the downlow. A friend told us if the woman does not list as Bi or the man does list as Bi, you will lose a lot of online prospects. Too bad. 

[Numex 2,409]

I'm not bi, but I've had two gay experiences at my wife's and the other wives' insistence.  The wives thought it was very interesting, but none of us men really enjoyed it, although we did cum.  That was it, not to be repeated.

[herpob 563]

In our most recent travels with other bi couples and openly talking about the sex in adult settings in public, we were approached consistently by men wanting to join us. All we very open to the idea of biplay to varying degrees. Once they got to the point of asking to have sex we ladies would ask them to suck our men off right then and there. Over 3/4 were willing.  Then we'd add how much we'd like to see them get ass fucked and the number dropped to less than half. All but a few were willing to fuck any of us in the ass, even the men. All wanted to be sucked off and not a one cared who it was sucking them off. All wanted pussy. When asked how many were married, with the exception of a few here and there throughout our travels, all we married. When asked if they could get the wife involved the number dropped to zero. When asked if we could meet the wife before any sex with the men, that number was zero. When asked if any would have sex with the men first, no matter what, then they could so whatever with the ladies, the number dropped to almost zero. 

 

Our take as a group was that most guys out and about are horny sex needy blokes who talk the talk of willing to do whatever but when push comes to shove chicken out. Mention their wifes/gf/etc they back track fast. They appear open to bi situational but I doubt most ever follow through.  

 

In our circle, the men are definitely bi if not at first, definitely over time. 

 

I do not know if most male swingers are bi but I'd go as far as 'many say they are bi to get to the lady in a couple' or that 'many wish they were bi but are not able to be when push comes to shove.' I get both. I love bi men, most ladies I know do. I also get that most men need a good lady to help them over the edge. Push...