Burn out or fade away... How did you exit the Lifestyle ?

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I haven't seen this question or discussion ever spoken of much here on the board and I think it should be. For posterity, if nothing else...

 

For those of you who have " walked away" How did you do it gracefully ?

 

We have had the discussion on the table. Like everything as a couple, we talk first.

 

We're just at a point that we could say, this would be a nice place to walk away. Why not ? It's been great, if not one of the greatest things we have experienced together as a couple.

We started knowing nothing, made a few mistakes, fell flat on our faces and now, feel like we have been on top of the world. (literally and physically)

 

We would prefer not to hear of someones cheating spouse or some small thing that happened and made you quit.

 

Thats not the idea here. Things change, sometimes for the good. We could look back now with so many fond memories and say, damn remember this or that, even them....

 

The end results are we say to each other.........." I love you, even more "

 

We think it will always be that way now. We hope anyone entering the lifestyle, leaves with the same feelings we have.

 

How did you go about it ? Did you feel the need to explain ? We don't think we could to anyone, at least not in a way that they could understand, without being where we are now......

 

Thoughts.......

[TheLorax 173]

I don't know if this is quite what you are asking, but I walked away the first time because of the reactions I got when my wife and I got divorced. Now, we got divorced because we'd grown up and apart. We got married way too young and eventually figured out that while we were good friends, we weren't really in love any more. It was a mutual thing, and we parted friends and still had regular contact for many years until she moved across the country. Friends often asked if we were still married when they would see us in social situations because we both were very friendly with each other.

 

But the swingers we knew didn't seem to want to know me any more. Every single couple we'd played with stopped all contact with me. They still wanted contact with her though, which made me feel like I'd only been "tolerated" so that the males of those couple could have access to my wife (and I can't blame them, she was gorgeous and great in bed). Since the clubs we'd gone to were "no single males", I was no longer welcome there either.

 

It left a bad taste for me that lingered for many, many years. I didn't hold a grudge against swinging in general, but it didn't appeal with me anymore. I still had open relationships (and I am polyamorous, so I've had multiple committed relationships at the same time in addition to playmates), but I stayed away from more organized swinging. Now that my triad has been stable for several years now, I'm testing the waters again. This time, however, I am approaching it with less naivete, and a much more mature ability to deal with the realities of the community.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We are thinking more along the lines of leaving, together.

 

We're happy and content, no complaints.

 

With ourselves and those around us in the lifestyle.

 

 

 

:

[bbarnsworth 2,639]

Not really sure you're going to get the answers you seek here. It's sort of like attending a football game asking the attendees how they came to their decision to stop being fans of football.

 

With that in mind, I'll try to answer as best as I can, given that we're fairly new to swinging, and have no interest in leaving swinging. This is all speculative, but some thought definitely goes into it:

 

I don't think we'd burn out on it. I think we'd just slowly fade away. We'd find ourselves becoming increasingly interested in other things taking our time, and we'd come to a point where we hadn't played with someone or a couple in a year or more and it would occur to us "Hey wow, it really has been a long time" and we'd just keep on doing the things that slowly took us away from swinging.

 

Neither of us has a "need" to swing. It's not something we can't ignore, either intentionally or no. I think there would just come a time when we found ourselves moving slowly away from swinging.

 

That said, I don't see it happening any time soon. We have both thoroughly enjoyed the experiences we have had so far, and found it to be very rewarding and uplifting. Though neither of us can speak to our father's sex drive in later life, we both know that our mothers maintain(ed) a high sex drive well into their 70s, and suspect it will remain so with us as well. Those two factors remaining the case, there will certainly be plenty of motivation to continue swinging.

 

It's possible we'll get bored with it. There's definitely a newness factor that remains, and eventually that will wear off. But then, if we spend a few years without having new partners, we might find that newness edge again. It's hard to know, hard to see that way into the future.

 

So, from an emotional stand point that's the best answer I think we can come up with. There are of course _plenty_ of other factors that could cause us to stop swinging.

[Chicup 41]

We've been toying with the idea or leaving all together, going low profile, or going back in balls out (pun intended).

 

All three options are appealing on some level.

 

But we have taken several breaks from finding new partners, often years. The way I look at it is this way.

 

Swinging, the lifestyle, whatever, isn't something you 'leave'. You don't get a membership card, there are no dues, no license renewal fee.

 

Its a hobby. I have several hobbies I really enjoy but for some reason or another I've not done in years. Take scuba diving. I'm fully certified, taking a real course not a cruise ship 'don't die' course, yet I haven't dived in 15 years. I still would enjoy it but life has taken me to where it is a low priority and not worth the time/money to do it. I could get back into diving very easy, I still LIKE it a lot, but just not right now.

 

So really in terms of swinging, one doesn't leave the lifestyle, one just goes on to other hobbies and priorities. If it comes up again perfectly, you can jump back in without skipping a beat, if not, its not a big deal.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I've never left completely but I've faded in and out of swinging for most of the last 10+ years. After my divorce I guess I faded out. I tried it a bit as a single girl but just wasn't comfortable with it so I just let it fade away (even my activity here was on the light side), I think my return to swinging has been as much of a fade in as my departure was a fade out... slow and gradual. No one major jump in either direction. I can't see ever completely being removed from the lifestyle, but I can see where there will probably be many times where I will fade in and out.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I think if one partner wants to leave the lifestyle and the other one doesn't, you have another category of people who leave.

 

Mr. Fuse gets frustrated with his inability to pursue the ladies, even the ones he really likes and wants to be with... actually, especially those. I cannot figure out how to help him overcome his fears enough to realize that rejection won't kill him.

 

If we leave the lifestyle because of his feelings of failure, I don't think we can call that a burn-out -- more like a flame-out. But if we leave anytime soon, that will be why.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I "left" for a while when I got involved in a monogamous relationship for a prolonged period of time... she knew about my past & my association with the lifestyle (and I still maintained my memberships in various groups & clubs associated with the lifestyle and kept those friends I made in the lifestyle) ... I just didn't "play" in the lifestyle while I was involved with her (after we'd both decided upon being monogamous)

 

After the (recent) breakup - I've been getting back in touch with more of my friends in the lifestyle and being open to getting back into things.

 

One of the gals I'm currently seeing was in the lifestyle in the past with her (now ex-)husband and she was interested in continuing that. (At present - we've gone to a few events together - but we've only played with each other at those)

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Not really sure you're going to get the answers you seek here. It's sort of like attending a football game asking the attendees how they came to their decision to stop being fans of football.

Well maybe we're thinking more along as we are the players..... Its time when many, walk away happy. There has to be others before us over the years. We will always be the fans no matter what.

 

With that in mind, I'll try to answer as best as I can, given that we're fairly new to swinging, and have no interest in leaving swinging. This is all speculative, but some thought definitely goes into it:

I know, we had that feeling that we would or even could leave.

 

I don't think we'd burn out on it. I think we'd just slowly fade away. We'd find ourselves becoming increasingly interested in other things taking our time, and we'd come to a point where we hadn't played with someone or a couple in a year or more and it would occur to us "Hey wow, it really has been a long time" and we'd just keep on doing the things that slowly took us away from swinging.

I "get that" thanks, your input is so rewarding sometimes.

 

 

Neither of us has a "need" to swing. It's not something we can't ignore, either intentionally or no. I think there would just come a time when we found ourselves moving slowly away from swinging.

This isn't something that came up slowly... But sometimes things change. How would you feel about the people you have met over the years. We came to know many. Now sometimes we don't even check our profiles. I'm sure their out dated and what should we say to those who will inquire. We know so many now, do we just change or profile, explain, delete them, wrere on break ?

 

It's possible we'll get bored with it. There's definitely a newness factor that remains, and eventually that will wear off. But then, if we spend a few years without having new partners, we might find that newness edge again. It's hard to know, hard to see that way into the future.

 

We are not exactly bored we love it as well. Mabe just, retirement. We don't have all the influences to even answer our own questions. Kinda why we posted. Hoping someone out there that can say, we know how you feel, we walked away also, with no regrets.

 

How do we leave something to perhaps others, who might feel the way we do now ? Shouldnt we ? We helped many new people find the joys we have come to know. Shouldnt we as who we are, leave something for those who feel like we do now, for them to see someday, seeing Its OK.... Its allowed.

 

So, from an emotional stand point that's the best answer I think we can come up with. There are of course _plenty_ of other factors that could cause us to stop swinging

Ours would be because it has or is either taking away from our family or causing a problem in our relationship. Thats not the case though, we would have stepped on the lifestyle in a split second for family first...That never happend though... This is more along the lines of our asking each other..... Is this our time to walk away. And if so, how would we talk to others about it. We have friends that are so caring, if they see this there will be phone calls, people stoping over with genuine caring concerns just making sure are we ok. Because we have stoped..... Its was just the wright time to do so. We have been on what we believe the top of the world. Maybe we just want to go back home, we have no regrets...... It's Good

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I think if one partner wants to leave the lifestyle and the other one doesn't, you have another category of people who leave.

 

Mr. Fuse gets frustrated with his inability to pursue the ladies, even the ones he really likes and wants to be with... actually, especially those. I cannot figure out how to help him overcome his fears enough to realize that rejection won't kill him.

 

If we leave the lifestyle because of his feelings of failure, I don't think we can call that a burn-out -- more like a flame-out. But if we leave anytime soon, that will be why.

We both have so much admiration for you as a patrtner, Fuse. We dont have any times we could look at each other and think either of us didnt have our weaknesses our falts that we couldnt understand, with our hearts. We believe thats how we overcame many things and encouraged each other. In the end of any date or hook ups if nothing happened and there were plenty times its was my insecurities, we always new it didn't matter. What we had was always more between ourselfes. I guess thats why we never once sweated being stood up. Thats one thing we never understood why people got disgruntled. But I see what ya mean

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I "left" for a while when I got involved in a monogamous relationship for a prolonged period of time... she knew about my past & my association with the lifestyle (and I still maintained my memberships in various groups & clubs associated with the lifestyle and kept those friends I made in the lifestyle) ... I just didn't "play" in the lifestyle while I was involved with her (after we'd both decided upon being monogamous)

 

After the (recent) breakup - I've been getting back in touch with more of my friends in the lifestyle and being open to getting back into things.

 

One of the gals I'm currently seeing was in the lifestyle in the past with her (now ex-)husband and she was interested in continuing that. (At present - we've gone to a few events together - but we've only played with each other at those)

 

We have come to respect you allot SAM, you've earned that. Perhaps we missed interpreted you in the beginning. We should apologize for that. We can only hope someday you find a loving partner to share everything with, on a new level. If not, you deserve that some day.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

We've been toying with the idea or leaving all together, going low profile, or going back in balls out (pun intended).

 

All three options are appealing on some level.

 

But we have taken several breaks from finding new partners, often years. The way I look at it is this way.

 

Swinging, the lifestyle, whatever, isn't something you 'leave'. You don't get a membership card, there are no dues, no license renewal fee.

 

Its a hobby. I have several hobbies I really enjoy but for some reason or another I've not done in years. Take scuba diving. I'm fully certified, taking a real course not a cruise ship 'don't die' course, yet I haven't dived in 15 years. I still would enjoy it but life has taken me to where it is a low priority and not worth the time/money to do it. I could get back into diving very easy, I still LIKE it a lot, but just not right now.

 

So really in terms of swinging, one doesn't leave the lifestyle, one just goes on to other hobbies and priorities. If it comes up again perfectly, you can jump back in without skipping a beat, if not, its not a big deal.

 

Thank you, this is not only encouraging to us. But maybe some day someone else will read this and think.... well, at least they might "GET IT"

[bbarnsworth 2,639]

I "get that" thanks, your input is so rewarding sometimes.

 

Coming from you, that means a lot. We're relatively new, been at swinging about 15 months now. We put a lot of thought into things we do and care about, but I'm sure inexperience shows through at (most?) times. Thanks!

 

 

This isn't something that came up slowly... But sometimes things change. How would you feel about the people you have met over the years. We came to know many. Now sometimes we don't even check our profiles. I'm sure their out dated and what should we say to those who will inquire. We know so many now, do we just change or profile, explain, delete them, we're on break ?

 

"We're likely to be offline for a while, and may not respond quickly. If we don't respond right away, even if we happen to get on, please don't be offended."

 

You're in flux right now. Wording it something like that leaves your options open.

 

 

 

We are not exactly bored we love it as well. Mabe just, retirement. We don't have all the influences to even answer our own questions. Kinda why we posted. Hoping someone out there that can say, we know how you feel, we walked away also, with no regrets.

 

I'm just not sure we can adequately answer, with true perspective, because the people you want to really talk to aren't the people on this forum. Is there a so-labeled "Retirement Home for Ex-Swingers" up your way?

 

How do we leave something to perhaps others, who might feel the way we do now ? Shouldnt we ? We helped many new people find the joys we have come to know. Shouldnt we as who we are, leave something for those who feel like we do now, for them to see someday, seeing Its OK.... Its allowed.

 

This is one of the reasons why I've always respected what you've said. You care. Maybe the moderators here could start a sub-forum related to ex-swingers, with a sticky note at the top regarding fading out of swinging, and another regarding flaming out, where people could post their thoughts.

 

Ours would be because it has or is either taking away from our family or causing a problem in our relationship. Thats not the case though, we would have stepped on the lifestyle in a split second for family first...That never happened though... This is more along the lines of our asking each other..... Is this our time to walk away. And if so, how would we talk to others about it. We have friends that are so caring, if they see this there will be phone calls, people stopping over with genuine caring concerns just making sure are we ok. Because we have stopped..... Its was just the right time to do so. We have been on what we believe the top of the world. Maybe we just want to go back home, we have no regrets...... It's Good

 

Lots of people obviously care about you. To the ones who care about you and you care about them, who are people you have engaged in swinging with, you might send them something to the effect that you're bowing out of swinging. There's nothing wrong at all, you're just at a point in your lives where you're ready to move onto other things. You can express an interest in ongoing friendship as the case calls for it.

 

I have a relative (vanilla) who is single. She dates lots of men, semi-seriously to seriously. She has had sex with most, if not all of them. By her own account, she's had sex with at least a hundred men. She's wonderful, classy, eclectic, educated, and a thrill to spend time with. I really, really enjoy her. It is no wonder that so many men want to date her. With many of her relationships with men, there comes a time when she wants to move on, wants to put the relationship in a different frame. She refers to this moment as "recycling"; she turns her boyfriend into just a friend, and friend only. She has a dizzying array of past boyfriends with whom she hasn't been in anyway amorous for years, and in some cases decades. They add to the panoply of her life.

 

So you have many friends who are swingers with whom you've had a swinging relationship. You can 'recycle' them into vanilla friends, at least the ones you truly wish to remain friends with, and you can do so without offending them.

 

Like the couple that recently moved back into your community. I know your wife wasn't ready to see them yet. But, they can be just friends.

[The Fuse 1,012]

We both have so much admiration for you as a patrtner, Fuse. We dont have any times we could look at each other and think either of us didnt have our weaknesses our falts that we couldnt understand, with our hearts.

 

Well now I feel even more guilty... because I often get upset with him for it; I don't understand it. Even when he knows in advance that the lady likes him, he often just blows it by being completely passive. It's frustrating to me and to him. Then even during a year like this year, when we've had so many wonderful experiences, he can't see anything but his own faults and failures. I keep trying to remind him of all the fun we've had, but his mind keeps going to the negative. He might decide he doesn't want to swing due to these things.

 

If we leave swinging for a reason like that, I will, frankly, be resentful. So what I was trying to say without indicting myself earlier, is that we could exit the lifestyle because he feels like a failure for no good reason. And like all problems, this one isn't just a problem in swinging... he has become grumpy and negative over the past couple of years in many ways. It's a real problem in our marriage, which could affect not just our social life and lifestyle. If we stop swinging, this attitude will still be a problem.

 

So there's a little of our dirty laundry... I figure it is relevant to your question.

[PB&J 1,086]

Fuse, your husband sounds JUST like mine. One bad experience outweighs all the good ones for him, be it swinging or whatever. I've weathered those storms for 22 years now, but yes, it is very frustrating to live with a "glass half empty" guy. At least once this year he briefly wanted to quit, until a good experience turned him back around, and there is some resentment on my side when he starts heading in that direction. Right now we're on an even keel, but if he feels rejected by one woman/couple, he's ready sometimes to throw in the towel. That would NOT be a good way to leave the lifestyle.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I'm just not sure we can adequately answer, with true perspective, because the people you want to really talk to aren't the people on this forum. Is there a so-labeled "Retirement Home for Ex-Swingers" up your way?

Not really, unless I suppose it actually becomes the fun house. Is that possible ? I don't know....

 

So you have many friends who are swingers with whom you've had a swinging relationship. You can 'recycle' them into vanilla friends, at least the ones you truly wish to remain friends with, and you can do so without offending them.

I don't know, most are active we know. We would hate to turn into the dreaded waste of someone else's time. We used to swing, now we are looky Lou's. That just sounds wrong, I aint never heard that before

 

I know Like the couple that recently moved back into your communityyour wife wasn't ready to see them yet. But, they can be just friends.

Well that has turned into a get together now, we made the call on speaker phones. He and I have Bdays coming up real soon. Were getting together for dinner on my birthday. We laughed and talked about many old things. You know me I had bust out the " hey, you still got that stick on monster Dido you used have on the fridge ? " They so busted out laughing and said no.... I just cant let a good opportunity pass by and kinda went with " Ill bet that thing would have some good monetary antiquity value now " More laughter....... Said they had updated toys now . We just let it go.... We'll see what happens, we hope something happens. He was built like a Greek god and If we remember his dad who he resembled. Age probably favored him. We are thinking no resistance on our part if it does, but we just cant say till that night. It might be the last game night though, we dont know. If we do walk away then, It couldnt be their fault...

[SecretAsianMan 348]

We have come to respect you allot SAM, you've earned that. Perhaps we missed interpreted you in the beginning. We should apologize for that. We can only hope someday you find a loving partner to share everything with, on a new level. If not, you deserve that some day.

 

 

Thank-you. I can understand some people's worries or misunderstandings about a "single-guy" in the lifestyle... there's a LOT of bad characters out there who're just thinking this is a cheap/easy way to score. And it really does almost become the "job" of every single guy to prove that he's not "THAT GUY" when talking to folk in the lifestyle.

 

There's no need to apologize.

 

Yes, I too really hope to find that loving partner to share everything with - in the lifestyle or in a polyamorous situation or a monogamous one. Hopefully, it'll be something the two of us can openly talk about and come to a point of mutual happiness in.

[CXXC 435]

I believe I speak for both Mrs. CXXC and myself when I answer this question.

 

I truly thing the only way we would leave the lifestyle would be if we simply became too busy for it with our other pursuits. Like chickup, we have so many hobbies and look tot he lifestyle as another one in the list.

 

We are presently taking a quasi break (Not meeting new people but playing with those we have connected with) due to our schedules and work loads. Eventually, this will open up again and we will jump back in with all four feet.

 

We have actually discussed an end period for the life style. We both figure our involvement may end after we hit our 60's. by then, the amount of time necessary to keep up with play dates, new meetings, and all that is required by the lifestyle, will get in the way of our shuffleboard playing.

 

As with everything in our lives, we will communicate openly and honestly before making and decision!

[magiriano 84]

We tried and had a couple bad experiences, then we met and fell for this awesome couple.

We just hit it off from the start, loved them both.

Anyway, they liked us too, we chatted for a bit and planned a meeting when the night before they cancelled on us. Then they turned their AFF profile off all together.

My wife and I still talk about E and S every now and then but never tried finding another couple.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . .My wife and I still talk about E and S every now and then but never tried finding another couple.

I wonder just how many people give up their search after experiencing too many discouraging on-line episodes. And it has me thinking that quitting cold turkey might actually be the most graceful way of exiting this so-called lifestyle.

 

~Michael

[sexypairca 41]

As a couple who has apparently quit, I would venture to say the the lifestyle quit us...it wasn't a conscious decision. Over the years that we were actively involved, our favourite clubs closed and our couple friends split up (all of them). Aside from getting a "black widow" complex, it became discouraging to meet new people. The thought of meet new couples became tiresome and the overall appeal was reduced to a chore. Thats not to say that presented with the opportunity it would not be seized, just not sought after.

I do not believe that if the lifestyle was a positive experience, you ever leave it. The evolution and thought processes that were experienced along the way become a part of who you are and in turn I believe change your outlook on many things.

 

Annette

[MrXxotic 18]

We've taken several breaks from swinging over the years. The first was due to burn out after we let swinging start to take over our lives. The others have just been fade outs due to other priorities. Our latest hiatus has been for three years. Nothing was done or said, there was no bad expierence that made us stop. Without discussing it we just stopped checking our profile and there were always other things on the agenda that prevented us going to a club. Eventually the topic didn't come up.

This summer we were vacationing in FL and met an attractive couple from MI. The four of us hung out during the day and went to dinner a couple of times but nothing happened. On the drive home we talked about it and found that the girls had talked about but Angel was not sure how I would react and didn't broach the subject. We also decided that we were in a position to "fade" back into swinging. Through social networking sites we have made contact with some single men that have possibilities. We're not rushing. If it happens great. If it doesn't that's great too.

[lustylearning 705]

You don't need to explain really. You could just smile sincerely and say, "It's been a blast, but I think we're done now." I suspect, and this is just a gut feeling, because we've never met, but I suspect the true friends you've made along the way will understand, because they know you.

 

Lyrics from the Led Zeppelin song Ramble On come to mind... "Leaves are falling all around. Its time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now its time for me to go..."

 

By the way, you've been a delight on the board. If you do ramble on, I hope you and your lady continue to find happiness in all you endeavor!

[DigginIt 1,132]

My wife and I have had several things that we have enjoyed doing over the years that have all gone away. We used to go skiing every year with about 10 couples. Then it dropped to about 5 and then 3 and now we don't go. Half of those couples are no longer together, others are like us, kids taking all of their free time and some have just faded away and we have no idea what happened to them. Maybe the aliens carried them away. At the end of the day though, my point, is that we have no control in others lives yet we allow so many to affect our own lives. It's so emotionally draining.

 

The decisions we make to stay, don't stay seems more of a question of "is the end result worth the effort?" I hear what sounds like this in several posts. The effort just doesn't seem worth the reward any longer. I think this is a natural course in everything in our life.

 

Do I eventually see us reaching a point where we can buy the "been there, done that" t-shirt. Absolutely, but we live our lives always remembering "the good old days" and I think as long as I'm healthy enough for sex (and someone willing to have sex with me, lol) we will always find an opportunity.

[Meetussoon 68]

We have faded out as our kids entered late elementary and Jr. High. We just didn't have the time or make the time, which is fine. We also moved several times. We have discussed becoming more active lately, and hope to get out this fall/winter. M recently recruited a new boytoy, and I have always looked for naughty fun when I travel for work, generally (and understandably) without success.

 

There were times when we were more active that the drama we experienced (generally minor) turned us off for a week or so, but we have had so many more positive experiences and met some many great people, we stuck it out. HA.

 

AS another poster said, this is a hobby we have that we will enjoy for the rest of our lives on some level. When we started we were surprised at all the "older" swingers, now we understand that we too will be in that group as time passes.

 

Tom

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We faded out again in 2010 after I had some health issues. We tried to stay in and showed up at a party about every 6 months (but that was really all we did, show up). We managed to hang onto a few real friends we'd made and kept in touch - they knew what was going on with me. Then when I finally started feeling good again this year, we jumped back in "balls out" as someone said earlier.

 

I think the real friends you make will be there regardless of whether or not you swing, everyone else isn't going to care much so it's not really worth worrying about whether they notice you disappear or you tell them.

[sweet_tna 680]

Its was just the wright time to do so. We have been on what we believe the top of the world. Maybe we just want to go back home, we have no regrets...... It's Good

 

That is precisely what you should tell those genuinely concerned folk. Those who are worth your time will understand and remain your friends.

 

As for Mr. Sweet and me, we've faded in and out of late. Most of it has been due to life happening. I think Chicup got it right with the sentiment that's it's not something that you totally walk away from. It's still a part of who you are (like all our life's experiences). We're currently trying to get back in the game, but not quite, "balls in."

 

I can only speculate that our most likely reason for "fading out" of the lifestyle would be similar to yours. It would simply be time.

 

=)

[drinnt 201]

Wife and I have been in the LS for 10 years this spring. We had this discussion just yesterday actually! We realized that we'll NEVER leave the LS but there WILL be times when we are / are not active. I think you are either the "type of person" or "not" and only our individual life STYLES dictate our level of involvement with THE LS.

 

We were debating if we were going to stop again, for how long and when or if we would get back into it. A conversation we've had two or three times before. For us we realized that we are always going to be in the LS, but at times we may have issues we need to work through, other things that are more important to us, or just no interest in playing. Just because we're not playing does not mean we have "left" the LS because we know some day we'll be lured back. So instead of looking at it as stopping / starting we've come to acknowledge that we're always IN, we're just active or not...kind of like the fading many of you have mentioned.

 

Sometimes things get heavy and we need a break, have to work things out to remain in a healthy place with it all, our relationship and life. It seems wrong to QUIT because that seems like running away from something like avoiding stoves because you got burned once / twice / three times. Well, expert chefs aren't afraid of burns - it comes with the territory. We realize it's a life-long work in progress and we will only ever be active or not, but we'll always be in the LS. It's in our personality, it's who we are.

 

S&J