What if he has a much larger penis than me?

[tmayou 15]

I would like my wife to have sex with another man. My concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine?

 

And, if so, how would that effect us?

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here-- Well, how would a woman with a tighter pussy affect you?

 

Odds are it's just a nice treat, if size does make a difference to her, but is no replacement for a lover that you are in love with.

 

You're worried about the wrong stuff. Besides, what does she have to say about this ? If you cannot communicate about this, Swinging may not be for you.

[CXXC 435]

There is absolutely no way of knowing how ANY man being with your wife will affect you! The only way to know that is through personal experience.

 

Regarding a larger penis:

Truly, you should be happy for her! Remember, you have both given each other the gift or eros. Sex with another is not an emotional tie but a physical pleasure you get to share and share again! If she happens to find a man who is better endowed than yourself, she has multiple orgasms and truly enjoys the activity, you have actually made her that much more happy in this life. That should be your greatest concern.

 

You will feel what you feel no matter what happens. Right now, you need to communicate with each other, discuss the potential fears you both have and, before you take one step forward, be open and honest with both of your desires and thoughts.

 

If you are so frightened of her being with a man with a larger penis, you may actually have deeper issues to consider.

 

Talk it out. Be open and honest! Communicate!!!!!

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Hi and Welcome!

 

Your concern is not uncommon to men who are contemplating swinging. If you and your wife decide to swing you will undoubtedly come upon men who are larger - and even smaller - than you. Your wife may find that a larger penis does give her a pleasure that she does not experience with you, or she may find it uncomfortable. You won't know until she has the experience, but the important thing to remember is variety is one of the main reasons swingers seek out sex with others. Variety is fun and you both should want each other to enjoy exploring new sexual pleasures with people.

 

A secure couple should not fear losing their spouse to a playmate that provides them with something different or even better, sexually speaking. Swinging is about recreational sex, at least I think it should be. If you continue to feel that including others in your bedroom would threaten your marriage, you're not meant for swinging.

 

I don't know how you and your wife would be affected by her having sex with a playmate who has a bigger penis. Talking about this kind of "what if" before you begin to swing would be something you and your wife need to do.

 

Most important though, FIRST you need to find out if your wife has any interest in swinging. Have you brought the topic of swinging up?

[xxxboxy 139]

What if he's smarter? What if he's stronger? What if he's richer? What if he's funnier? What if he has more stamina? What if he's more skilled?

 

You can't worry about these things, she's your wife for a reason, she chose you.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

tmayou said:

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.

 

And if so how would that affect us.

 

It doesn't matter... I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm NOT going to be the most "well endowed" partner that they've ever experienced. But I *know* that she's ALWAYS going to be going home with me.

 

If y'all are really THIS insecure ... I think there needs to be a lot more talking & reassurance & trust between y'all before you start playing with others.

[Additude 457]

What if he doesn't have a bigger Johnson and your wife still likes him more?

 

Chances are, your wife didn't marry a "dick" and she likes having a marriage with fringe benefits better. Cause that's like like having your cake and getting to eat it too!

 

I wouldn't worry about it. If I was you I'd be thinking more along the lines of feeling happy that your wife is having such a great time with this guy's cock, not being worried that she might like his cock more than yours.

[lovinher 505]

Questions like this are normal for somebody just beginning to think about swinging. I think some of these posts were too harsh and condescending. People come here to learn things and alleviate their petty fears or insecurities. Most of us had them at some point.

 

tamyou, Likeminds gave good advice. I would suggest you keep reading the threads before you go to your wife. You will find out in time if you can get over your concerns.

 

This should be about sexual pleasure as a couple, for you AND your wife. So if a bigger dick does that then you should be glad for her. Do you want to do this and have her not have a great time?

 

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask questions, any question.

 

BTW-welcome to the SB.

[vanillaknot 99]

my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me

 

To echo others (semantically, if not literally), you worry about the wrong things.

 

Ten days ago, we played at our club with a very nice woman, S, who nonetheless developed an inferiority complex about her bust size, when compared to MrsVK, who is as busty as any woman you will ever meet in the normal world. I told S then, several times, that she worries about the wrong things. Women as a class worry about a huge number of the wrong things. "I'm too fat" "My curls will come down in the hot tub room" "I can't dance well" "This dress isn't fashionable enough"...

 

But men do so, too. Worry about penis size is right at the bottom of the list of things with which to concern yourself. If you really are concerned about it, STOP, DO NOT PASS GO, and do not attend any swing event, because you are shining a bright, gigantic red light whose luminescence is rated at approximately 23.7 million candlepower.

 

Sooner or later, every single man except one will encounter someone more largely endowed than himself. Do you seriously think this is consequential? Is your woman so shallow as to think that this is the definitive qualifier in a lover? Come on.

 

Seriously, if you think cock size is the leading question of importance, you have much re-thinking to do.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

tmayou said:

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.

 

Celebrate your [wife's] good fortune. If he really pleases her in bed, fantastic! Try to keep him around for as long as your wife wants, for as many repeat opportunities with your wife as she wants.

 

tmayou said:

And if so how would that affect us.

 

Lots of smiles?

 

If you're honestly worried about negative effects of another man having a bigger penis than you, I'll readily agree with what everyone has said above. You're not ready to swing.

 

My wife and I have been swinging for a bit over a year now. Of the several men she has had sex with in that time, only one was as thick/long as I am (average length, above average girth). The others have not been noticeably longer, and definitely not as thick. I am disappointed for my wife. I would love it if she found a man with a very large penis, one just barely small enough to get in her without pain, and a man with great talents attached to it. "Thanks John! As you can tell, my wife really enjoyed that! Can you come back Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, ..."

[sahajacpl 95]

lovinher said:

Questions like this are normal for somebody just beginning to think about swinging. I think some of these posts were too harsh and condescending.

 

tamyou, Likeminds gave good advice. I would suggest you keep reading the threads before you go to your wife. You will find out in time if you can get over your concerns.

 

This should be about sexual pleasure as a couple, for you AND your wife. So if a bigger dick does that then you should be glad for her. Do you want to do this and have her not have a great time?

 

We fully agree with this advice from lovinher.

 

Provided the two of you have discussed swinging between the two of you, and have a secure marriage, the size of the guy's penis or the tightness of the other woman's pussy, should be the least of your concerns. When the guy with a penis larger than yours, fucks your wife and she enjoys experiencing intercourse with him, you should be happy for her. Let her have the time of her life. And, you will be thrilled to watch your wife have orgasms as the two of them fuck.That's what swinging as a couple, and, exchanging mates for play followed by sexual intercourse is all about.

 

Welcome to the Board and happy swinging for you and your wife.

 

[Suncouple 32]

What if he has a Ferrari?

 

Anyway ... I know what you mean.

 

If you want to find out you could order a nice, large toy and experiment at home to see how she likes it!

 

Amazon.com: California Exotics Love Vibes, Big Boy Lover, 9": Health & Personal Care

 

So ... if she doesn't like it you only have everything else to worry about.

 

If she does ... well ...? Then what?

 

I think you can both have some fun experimenting, though!

[Miss Sunshine 29]

It won't matter how big he is, it's a matter of playing and having fun. If he is bigger then go with the flow!

[lv2prty 17]

I agree, let your wife enjoy it. If she loves you she will know that it is a treat and she won't just give you up. Think about it like this, I like ice cream and eat it a lot. Sometimes I get nuts on my ice cream, but I never toss the ice cream aside to just eat the nuts. ha ha

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Size is so not everything. And sex is not making love. So there are two things. She may enjoy him a lot and she may even develop "new toy syndrome" where she wants more of him and it may make you feel "less than" but it's important to understand that that doesn't mean she enjoys him more, wants him more or even loves him. He's just different. You are still the one she loves.

[willyoats 324]

If swinging is really right for you, size won't make any difference.

 

We have had probably 100 partners over the years. Out all of those, at least one was bigger, one was smaller, one had nicer breasts, one had nicer ass, one had nicer hair, one was more romantic, one was better built, one was ... Get the picture? If swinging is right for you, none of that will matter in the long run. You will still love your primary partner more than anybody else.

 

If that doesn't happen, then you will have found out that swinging is not really right for you. Then, you'd better patchup your primary relationship or get out.

[Swing*8701 887]

Ed here--Sometimes it surprises me that people claim to be interested in Swinging for sexual variety then, when faced sexual variety exclaim,"Oh, not that kind."

 

It's like going to a steakhouse then telling your hosts you're a vegetarian. Sheeesh

[The Fuse 1,012]

If swinging is really right for you, size won't make any difference.

 

We have had probably 100 partners over the years. Out all of those, at least one was bigger, one was smaller, one had nicer breasts, one had nicer ass, one had nicer hair, one was more romantic, one was better built, one was ... Get the picture? If swinging is right for you, none of that will matter in the long run. You will still love your primary partner more than anybody else.

 

If that doesn't happen, then you will have found out that swinging is not really right for you. Then, you'd better patchup your primary relationship or get out.

 

My thoughts are along these lines too.

 

Personally, I'd take a playmate with a small cock over one with a big belly. If a man is fat, are we going to advise him not to swing because his wife may discover she prefers a thin man? Nah... she may prefer another's body, but that's why it's so important to have a strong relationship and satisfying sex life before starting to swing.

[Powerglide 235]

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.

And if so how would that affect us.

 

If you get into swinging, well, then, unless you're the second coming of John Holmes, it's not a question of if your wife is going to have sex with some fellow packing a bigger schlong, it's when. This has already happened to just about every guy here on this board, and guess what? We're all still in great loving relationships and still having terrific mind-blowing sex with our partners.

 

Swinging is not a competitive sport! It's about the joy you both experience when you each give each other permission and encouragement to experience ultimate sexual freedom and pleasure. The greatest experience I ever had swinging was not fucking another man's wife -- although those have been some unbelievably wonderful experiences. The greatest experience I've had swinging was holding my partner's hand and gazing into her eyes as she was having her brains fucked out by a guy with a bigger penis. As she screamed out her orgasm, her eyes locked onto mine, and I saw a kind of love and thanks in her eyes I'd never seen before. I felt so good that I was helping her reach such intense ecstacy. I almost came right then, but held out so I could give her a good rousing fuck when he was done. Which I did, while she sucked him off. We tag-teamed my dear woman for nearly an hour, and when he left, she curled up like a little girl in my arms.

 

I should add that the more we swing, the more we've learned, and the better and more intimate our times together become.

 

A final comment: size is not anything you can do anything about (Pay no attention to those ad on tv!) But you can devote yourself to giving the best head, and knowing your wife's body and what it craves better than anyone. I know exactly where Leslie's g-spot is and exactly what kind of stimulation she craves most and when and how hard and how fast and what precise movements of my tongue on her clit she likes best, and so on. Make yourself an expert at pleasing your wife and you'll never have to worry about size issues.

[jmw81 15]

What your facing is some thing in a similar situation we had. We have always loved the freedom in sexual experimenting with others. In fact, we like MMF the best.

 

I used to think that if the Mrs would have a larger cock, she might not like mine as much anymore (which I'm a little above average). Anyways, I was always a little nervous about that concern until one day it hit me that it is just sex and can't replace what is between the 2 of us. So as fate would have it, she starts to talk to a nice looking black man (which is one of her fantasies at the time) and they hit it off great. I then talked to him to get a feel and see if I was comfortable with the situation. Making the story shorter, we went back to a motel room and continue to have some drinks and talk. Wife goes into the bathroom to get ready for the fun. She comes back out and starts to make out with the dude. As she was making out with him, she was undressing him and bam, he has huge cock.

 

At this point she excuses herself for a moment and asks me into the bathroom with her. She ask me if I was alright with it being that I had concerns before. At that point I was really more turned on by it as this could be a different experience then the previous ones. I tell the mrs to go on ahead and enjoy herself. I then sit down and watch them. She was a little uneasy at first being he was so big but after 5 minutes, it was like fireworks.

 

Needless to say, I'm glad we went through with it. One of our top 5 encounters. Now I'm just about 7 inches myself but this guy had at most 11 inches. To this day, there is no change in our sex life. In fact it is better. You have to feel out the situations and never proceed with anything your not sure about. For us the concern was there, but communication was the biggest payoff. I was really happy for her to be able to enjoy something that was so wonderful.

 

I hope this helps you out but you should always voice your concerns to your partner before setting out on this wild adventure.

[mnd7398 46]

I searched for someone with a bigger penis than mine for her first threesome experience. I had gotten her a dildo that was a lot thicker than me to warm her up to the idea of "playing".

 

She never liked the big dildo saying that it hurt her but she had no problem having sex with a guy with a penis just as big as the dildo. She LOVED it. I thought that she would be permanently stretched to the point that she would no longer enjoy having sex with me. I found out that a woman's pussy is very flexible. I can't speak for a woman but my wife and girlfriends always felt just as tight after fucking someone with a big dick as always.

 

It was described to me that my cock was "comfortable" compared to the guy whose cock was "pleasantly painful".

 

Ladies?

[maggoo 23]

I suppose first: Does your wife want to have sex with another man?

 

Assuming: A positive answer to that you can then contemplate the logistics and whether or not you would be able to accept her having sex with another man?

[skbaman 15]

You are thinking/worrying too much abou this. And probably read one too many stories of these women going crazy for a bigger dick. It just don't happen like that. Not from my experience. And I've been told I have a nice size cock.

[bendmeovernow 17]

Now take it from me. I have a 7 to 8 inch at home with my husband... and have many playmates that differ in size. I don't believe that bigger is better. I believe that if you know how to work what you have then you can be a 2 inch dick... or even can't keep it up at all. I have many guy friends that can't and I still enjoy them.... we just have a diff way of pleasure.

 

Issues like that aside... I don't think you need to worry about size. I'm sure you know how to please your wife and that will keep her wanting you no matter what size the other guy or guys are. You do need to talk with her about all your fears though first... it's the only way to swing.

[Guest cutecuple]

You are going to run into many "what ifs". Not sure your ready for this....we've been with couples that aren't ready and it will lead to disaster.

 

Might want to talk to her about....plus its about enjoying yourself. If she meets a guy with a large penis......good. You'll both be better cause of it if your communication is there.

;)

[PleasureO 15]

You shouldn't worry about something like that. If you & her are secure in you relationship that becomes an afterthought. Also if you two have a good relationship with your playmates it is not even a thought. I've been in this a situation couple times. In fact some playmates of ours the husband's cock is about 1-1-1/2 inches longer and about 1 inch fatter then I am, however he is 6'3" 290 lb. But since we all have a good relationship we not in competition with each other or each others wives.

[Mr.Essex 264]

If a larger than average penis was a woman's sole requirement in a man, then a microphallus would measure 8" x 6". Instead, microphalluses are always under the 2" mark and men are still being born and reaching physical maturity with penises that barely measure 5" on a good day with maximum stimulation.

 

Bottom line, if you're insistent on entering the swinging lifestyle, you'll eventually meet a man who dwarfs you in cock size. Hell, I'm well-endowed enough that 9 times out of 10 I'm the biggest guy in the room, yet that 1 time out of 10 has occurred enough that I don't sweat the measurement.

 

Believe me: you haven't truly entered into the swinging lifestyle until you've found yourself at a party or in a club surrounded by gossiping women who "accidentally" peeked in the shower and saw "Big Bad John". Allowing that fear to derail your desire is senseless to the extreme, and (unless you're literally under the 3" mark) your size is sufficient to satisfy any woman who crosses your path. And if you are under the 3" mark, there's always room for happyfunsquirt time!

 

Bring a woman or 5 to a squirting orgasm and they'll line up for a chance to taste your teeny weeny. Hell, you'll probably make yourself the most popular guy in the club!

[mjsocal 15]

It seems to us that the point of swinging is to experience someone different from your spouse. A bigger penis, a different race, a younger or older person are all part of the equation. I doubt you wife is with you because of the size of your penis and chances are she's already had bigger before you came along and yet she is with you. So relax and enjoy her pleasure and your own as well.

[actorstuntman 15]

My wife and I starting out wanting to have 3-ways with women. I thought it would eventually lead to her having sex with men too. I suggested we have a threesome with a male first. As it turns out I enjoyed that even better than the sex with two women.

 

We had sex with a friend of mine 3 times.I loved watching them.

 

I also had a fantasy to seek out a guy who was larger and see him with my wife. But as it turned out she played with it for awhile. But didn't want to actually go through with it. She preferred to be with a friend, where she felt more comfortable. Someone she knew and was at ease with. Someone we could trust to be gentle.

 

In fact we never did end up with a very large guy after all. Most of the time people worry about things that never even happen.

 

In a twist my biggest fantasy is still wanting to see her with a guy who is huge. To see her pussy tying to take it all in. To see her enjoy getting fucked by a large cock.

 

Every time we had a threesome with a male we fucked like mad over and over for 3 days afterwards. It was the best sex I've ever had and it started with seeing another man fuck her in front of me.

[oncewere 84]

Having been granted a much undersized penis, I understand. To compensate, I've had to practice, to be as effective as I can be. I avoided certain positions and made sure that I connected well in the positions that worked best. Foreplay made a big difference. That took a lot of experimenting and practice -- not a bad thing in itself.

 

If you are concerned about being on the short side, try advertising the length of your dick plus the length of your tongue.

 

Seriously, if you can satisfy your partner, you are OK. If she enjoys a bigger dick once in a while, treat it as your gift to her. Look at it this way, she doesn't have to give the rest of you up to find variety.