Mixed poly/swinging vacation situation needing advice

[couplers 4,614]

Hi, Petra here. I've been a member for a couple of years, a regular reader and occasional poster. This is the first time I am seeking advice from the community.

 

 

If anyone is familiar with my background situation from my posts, you can skip to the next paragraph; otherwise, read on. I am in a sort of mixed poly/swinging situation - married to my husband David and have a boyfriend, Red, that I have been with since before my marriage. Red lives nearby and is monogamous with me; these are the only two sex partners I have. The guys get along really well. We sometimes have an MFM, but usually I play alone because while David doesn't care one way or the other, Red would rather not watch. Another part of this is that beginning several years into our marriage, hubby has had several no-emotion sex partner girlfriends, which I have arranged with single vanilla girls that are unattached. His current girlfriend is Clair. Clair and I met at the gym, became friends, began to discuss intimacies, became social non-sexual friends with her and her bf, and after she broke up with her bf she jumped at my offer to start screwing hubby. In the past David usually played alone because it was difficult enough recruiting single girls just to be his sex partner without the added requirement of satisfying my desire to watch. Clair is one of only two that has let me watch and even participate a little, doing things like touching her breasts and clit while hubby is screwing her, and sucking hubby's dick after he pulls out. As to frequency, Red and I have sex about every other day; David and Clair a couple times a week; hubby and I every day. When David or I have to travel there is no problem with the other spending that time with our other sex partner.

 

 

Now the situation for which I need some advice. Three times a year or so David, Red and I go on vacation together, always at least twice in the winter we go skiing. All three of us love skiing almost as much as sex, but get to enjoy it much less frequently. (David says that Red doesn't ski - he wanders, like everything else he does. Mean.) This year we have made arrangements to go out West on a two week trip at the end of December / beginning of January. We don't party; just ski, eat, sleep and screw, then start all over again the next day. In the past we've gotten a room with two queen beds, one for each guy and I would sleep with one of them. It worked out pretty well, except for a couple of practical things in our usual pattern. First, Red is an early riser (I know, hah-hah) and doesn't like me sloppy, so I would have sex with him first early in the morning, but sometimes this wakes David WHO NEEDS HIS SLEEP! Then later in the morning I would have sex with David, and Red would leave since it bothers him to watch. After skiing Red would want more sex, by which time I am happy to accommodate, but then so would David again before we went to sleep. I know that vacation time is sex time, but four times a day plus skiing really tires me out. So this year to solve our practical problems we reserved two adjoining room with king beds, one for each of the guys, where I could go back and forth with no disturbance when screwing to either David's sleep or Red's male sexual ego. Now to the point. I was thinking that since we have two rooms, why not invite Clair? Clair knows the entire situation among Red, David and me. She has skied regularly in the past, so she should be fun on the slopes, and the two of us enjoy socializing. I see a lot of advantages:

 

for Red - he will have more of my attention and less angst about hubby screwing me (beta male syndrome);

for David - he will have an extended chance to play with his new toy, Clair;

for Clair - she will get to go on a free ski trip (we always are generous with David's sex partners), she gets more time and sexual attention from her new toy, David, and the two of us can do some girls things like shopping or going to the spa;

for me - while I love the attention of two men, this will give me a chance to not have so many demands put on me (I'm the one that ends up being sleep deprived from all the vacation sex); I'll probably get a chance to see hubby and Clair in action which I find really hot; I'll get to spend more time with Red, whom I still love, and I can do things with Clair.

 

So to the question: should we invite Clair along? I'm almost certain she would go if asked. The fear is with the more people, the more that can go wrong, but the only negative I can see is if the dynamic between Red and Clair turns out bad. But they already know about one another and won't be mutually sexually involved. This was my idea and David, as always, says "Whatever you want, Pet."

[oldrrob 20]

Damn, I've tried to find a downside to you inviting Clair, especially since she already knows the whole deal. Hey, it may even be theraputic for Red to see David with Clair, kinda takes his focus off of seeing you with David and would surely give him more one on one time with you. I'd go with David's philosophy, 'whatever you want, Pet'.

[couplers 4,614]

Good point, I need to test the waters on that. But I don't know if Clair would go another step or not. From what she has told me she has never had a threesome before David and me, not even just soft watching. And Red is pretty self absorbed, interested in who he is screwing and not much else, not even porn. Either way is fine with me, but I've learned from recruiting women for David that it is best not to push it past the comfort level, just to be open.

[N8ture Girl 318]

I dont know how you do it, I hardly have enough time pleasing one man, much less two! Hats off to ya! Anyway, if the guys are ok with Clair coming then I would go for it and ask her to come. Might take some of the pressure off you.

 

Good luck!

[sexcupid 809]

What are Clair and Red supposed to be doing when you are wanting to sleep with/have sex with your husband? Are they supposed to share the other room? Are you going to reserve a third room for Clair to have on her own for the nights that you want to spend with your hubby?

 

Unless you are going to basically split up into 2 couples for those 2 weeks (you/Red, David/Clair), aside from the time spent having a FMF, when are you going to connect with your hubby?

 

Although, I do agree...having another lady along to do girly activities would be much fun.

 

Most people do need a vacation to recover from their vacation...

[lizandtom 512]

I don't think you can even begin to think about asking Clare until she meets Red face to face. If Red has issues seeing your own hubby with you then a compatibility/chemistry check is in order asap. It can be as simple as drinks, dinner or coffee. If one person gets in a pissy mood over any of the possible dynamics during the weekend, it could get very uncomfortable. I think the conclusion will be apparent at that time.

[couplers 4,614]

I dont know how you do it, I hardly have enough time pleasing one man, much less two!

 

I don't watch television. Actually, I'm not complaining, I'm loving it. From the time standpoint, it is usually 30 to 45 minutes whenever I have sex during the week, a little longer if it includes me being licked. So even on a "busy" day, I start with hubby in the morning at 5:15, I'm at the gym at the gym by 6:30 at work by 8:30; I can have an interlude either at lunch (1 1/4 hours) or on the way home with Red, then with hubby at night until 10:30 or 11. On Saturday morning I can be done with both of them and back from the gym by noon or so.

 

One thing that caught my attention last week was a story about some Playboy model that went on a TV program to tell of her sex addiction. She had to go for treatment and therapy. I thought woah, is this me, might I be headed for disaster? She said that some days she stayed in bed all day masterbating. That made me realize that I don't have a problem. After sex I am energized and can jump up ready to go. The guys usually get the sleepies. As I said before I don't drink, gamble, smoke, use drugs or watch TV so I'm entitled to my 2 hours or so of sex.

[couplers 4,614]

I don't think you can even begin to think about asking Clare until she meets Red face to face. If Red has issues seeing your own hubby with you then a compatibility/chemistry check is in order asap. It can be as simple as drinks, dinner or coffee. If one person gets in a pissy mood over any of the possible dynamics during the weekend, it could get very uncomfortable. I think the conclusion will be apparent at that time.

 

They have met socially, several times, on weekends when I was meeting Red at the coffee shop after the gym with Clair and she came along. As I said she knew the full situation before starting to have sex with hubby and wanted to meet him out of curiosity. Red is a great guy, introverted, not shy but hard to get to know. I would say there was pretty much no chemistry between them, good or bad.

[couplers 4,614]

One concern that I forgot to mention, or perhaps repressed, is the possibility that Clair could get clingy with hubby after being with him for an extended time. Having some caring feelings is not a problem, but this is not dating, like looking for a mate. We are always cautious and I have not pursued some interesting possibilities because of this concern. The women thus far understood very clearly what the situation and what my crazy offer was and accepted it accordingly. I guess we have screened well up to this point because each of the women hubby has had moved on after a year or two, looking for a more traditional situation. And with every one we have remained on genuinely good, affectionate terms with her, even continuing to socialize with two of the women and their SO.

 

After typing this I realize no one else can help me make this assessment. From Clair's behavior thus far, however, there shouldn't be any problems.

[The Fuse 1,012]

If you aren't looking for deeper feelings to develop between Claire and your husband, spending two weeks together on vacation seems like asking for trouble. People bond during times like that.

[Guest rdy46227]

I'd invite her; hold a group meeting to review the anticipated combinations and prepare some alternative Claire can use to "escape" if things are too stressful for her.

 

For example, with 4 beds you and one of the boys can be in one room, and Clare and the other boy can be in the second room. If Claire asks, you could dynamically adjust where the 3 of you sleep in order to keep her in the same bed every time she sleeps by herself (as opposed to her having to seek the bed in the non-sex room).

[couplers 4,614]

Thanks to all that advised me. I asked Clair this morning if she wanted to go with us to Tahoe and Vail. She was excited, said yes, and we talked about all the things we are planning to do. She had been to Vail before, but not Tahoe. Eventually, she brought up the question that sexcupid did about whether she and Red would have to share a room at any point. She thought maybe it would be boys in one room and girls in another, but when I told her that the plan was for her and David to share a room, she asked if I was OK with that. I told her sure, it was my idea. Clair was even more pleased when I told her that we would cover her airfare and lift tickets. I like Clair and she makes me feel very comfortable with her openness, sexual and otherwise, and her clear-headedness about love and sex. David, who usually doesn't say much about the play arrangements I make, said that this is over the top and has him excited. Red is still processing, but said it would be nice to spend more time with me.

 

 

The only wrinkle is that because of work Clair has to go back two days earlier than the rest of us. Everything else is good, just got to jump on those plane tickets, prices seem to be going up.

[couplers 4,614]

Hi, Petra here with a follow up post. Well, I am an optimist so when I say things went better than expected, that's really saying something. We knew we wouldn't have adjacent rooms in Tahoe and at first we were disappointed that despite a confirmation it was the same in Vail, but ultimately it turned out for the better. In both places we had two rooms on the same floor at the same end of the hall. What made me feel special was as we checked in Red got a key for one room, David and Clair each got keys for the other, and I got a key for both rooms. So Red and I stayed together while Clair and David stayed in (and I visited) the other room. The whole thing worked out really well, both socially and sexually. This isn't a travel log site, so I skip the ski report (which wasn't as good as previous years) and other things (which were great, particularly with another woman around) and just say that the pattern that we fell into was the pairing of David & Clair, Red & me except that after skiing before dinner I would visit hubby and Clair for some foreplay then run across the hall for an intense session with Red. As I said before, it was great that Clair would not only let me watch, but also I could help hubby with her, and this became my first lezzy experience (this is what my sister and I called it growing up, not bi- or bi-curious). Up to this point I was not attracted to female genitalia, it sort of put me off. Touching breasts was OK, but it had taken a lot of courage to just touch her clit with my fingers and begin to slip one inside her vagina a couple of months ago. There's a lot of varieties possible with three people and we tried a bunch of different things, all firsts for me. With Clair on her back at the edge of the bed I laid on my back on top of her and hubby fucked us both alternating pussies after a few strokes while she played with my breasts. In regular missionary position I rested my head on Clair's pubis from the side and had hubby alternate between her pussy and my mouth. With me on my back and legs spread, Clair laid on her back between my legs with her head resting on my right thigh so hubby could screw her and lick me at the same time. But two of the highlights for me were while hubby went in Clair from behind I would lick Clair and hubby from underneath. In what was a first for both of us, she let me eat hubby's cum out of her pussy and I made her orgasm. Thinking of it as if I was helping hubby have sex with her made it a turn on instead of a turn off. Having hubby's cum to lick and not just her pussy gave me the incentive I needed. None of this involved hubby cumming in me and usually not even entering me, so that after I was wet and horny I would run across the hall for an intense screwing from Red. Another thrill were the times when in the middle of the day hubby and I would "sneak" back to his room for a quickie. The bed hadn't been changed yet and the smell of sex from what went on earlier between Clair and hubby drove me wild. Sex with hubby is always great, but this made sex with my spouse a really charged event.

 

Red and Clair got along fine, but there wasn't any chemistry between them. We certainly wouldn't have minded if they had played together, but nothing indicated that was going to happen. Like all of us, Red has his emotional fetishes, one of them is his declared monogamy with me, the other is the satisfaction he gets from me saying I'm still there for him. Red is one of those near geniuses that can do many things well, but does his own thing. This gives him an attractive cool demeanor, but women that try to get to know him are stumped by what he wants to talk about. Actually, the "chemistry" between Clair and Red consisted of Red's discussions of organic chemistry once he knew about Clair's biochem undergrad degree. Clair is smart, but that was too much like work to her, so nothing came of it.

 

 

In some ways, the two weeks every night with Red was sort of a melancholy flashback to our earlier times when we were still living together and considered getting married. Particularly to the time when I knew it was really over, that I was falling in love with David, running to Red to talk about it, cry, and make love. We talked a lot. All in all, however, we agreed that we wouldn't have worked as a married couple and that the way things now stand life couldn't have turned out better for all of us.

 

 

As I said before, Clair had to leave two days early to get back to work, so after that it was me and my two guys. Originally I complained about the demands of satisfying them both. But the nice part is that since these vacations are the rare times we will have an MFM, it is a good way to satisfy Red's occasional desire for anal. By itself having a dick in my bum doesn't get me off so then I need him to lick me afterwards which, even when he used to use a dildo, still wasn't as good as regular vaginal intercourse from any direction. But while Red is usually out of there when hubby and I are screwing, he likes doing the anal part of a DP. (Makes him feel special, I guess.) So while having Red in my bum doesn't get me to orgasm, in combination with a regular vaginal intercourse it really gets me off, plus I can satisfy both of the guys at once instead of doing a double marathon. A moment that keeps coming back into my mind is when I was an early evening when I was in bed naked with the sheet up to my waist and I saw my two guys getting ready for me, David naked, Red with just a T-shirt on, both facing me and not yet erect.

 

It was a long trip back, but I felt soooooo special sitting between two of the most wonderful men on earth, holding both their hands. When hubby and I got home we never even made it to the bed room. We grabbed each other in the living room, screwed like teenagers while reciting our take on the past two weeks. We were hungry after that so we went out for dinner, got home and guess what? Screwed again and fell asleep. I have hubby to thank for such a wonderful life. I used to be a Catholic girl guilt-ridden just for having sex before marriage with my boyfriend. Now I feel a calm freedom and happiness.

[couplers 4,614]

Sorry for the long post. I wrote most of it in Word as we went along then just pasted and it got a bit out of control. My posts are pretty infrequent and short because I don't usually have much to contribute. Other than having my husband and my boyfriend (I've only been with three guys my whole life), my sex life wasn't anywhere near as varied as most people that are on this forum until this vacation. I found this site only when I first encourage my husband to play and I was dealing with jealousy.

[couplers 4,614]

Clair called me today and asked if I could meet her for lunch. I was a bit concerned about what it was she wanted to discuss; we hadn't talked since she left to come back home. What a surprise! She had a present for me, a sweater that I had been coveting in a shop at Vail. I didn't buy it because of the price, but she got it for me. So sweet. We talked for a long time before we had to get back to work. This is the Swingersboard, so I'll spare you all the other things and jump to the relationship talk.

 

Clair said she really appreciated the entire trip experience and said she was impressed about the way I have everything figured out. If she only knew that I'm really just making it up as I go along. She apologized for not calling because she has been really busy catching up with work but said she would like to see hubby again soon. Actually, she said it the way she always does, she asked, "Is it OK with you if I see David this week?" I told her "sure, anytime" because I know what it's like to need it. I told her that despite what I may have said early on, she no longer needs to arrange visits with my husband through me. I like her more than hubby's other play partners. But the most exciting thing was what she said about the two of us. Clair said that I have been her first female experience and she liked it, but wasn't interested in just the two of us playing sexually together. She would, however, like to get together again with hubby and me. At this point we started whispering because of all the people around (funny how the entire restaurant goes quiet when you start talking about something intimate), she told me that she liked what I did to her, but she didn't want to lick my pussy, finger fuck me or anything like that, but enjoyed the play I had with her and David. I'm cool with that. She said it would have been nice if I stayed the entire time and didn't run off to see Red. I told her that it would all be fine with me. So we have a threesome date for this Sunday afternoon. I told Clair to bring her bag in case she wanted to stay all night. I was so wet after lunch that I know I will need to get some soon. The interesting thing will be to call hubby before I leave for home tonight to see if he is screwing Clair and where I should go. God, it makes me horny thinking about all this.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Sorry for taking so long to reply to your post.

 

The fact that Claire is still communicating through you is a sign of respect. Several times I have read where the playmate starts talking to a spouse and cuts the other out of the loop and things get bumpy. So, though it good for you to offer direct communications, enjoy the comfort of knowing that she respects you enough to not do so.

 

S

[couplers 4,614]

Hi, this is Petra. I feel compelled to give an update because of how this has gone farther than with hubby's previous partners, but I promise this will be my last post on this.

 

Clair called yesterday and asked if I would have some time soon for just the two of us to get together, if that was OK with me. (She always says, "If that's OK with you." Damn, girl, everything you want is OK with me.) "Alone?" "Yes." "You mean alone alone just the two of us, or meet somewhere for lunch?" Clair said, "Your place or mine." I said, "Ah, how soon?" and she said, "At noon." My house is closer for both of us.

 

It was what my sister used to disparagingly refer to as "Lezzie action." Nothing out of the ordinary, I guess, but a lot of first time stuff for Clair on the giving end and me on the receiving side (from a girl, anyway). Before this she let me lick her and fondle her as part of her play with hubby, but didn't want to do that to me (which was totally fine with me). She really jumped into it hard and fast, a mixture of proving herself (I think) and that we had to get back to work. We both came hard. Couldn't wait to tell hubby last night and looking forward to what has become our usual Sunday afternoon threesome.