Too many certs?????

[ClosetSwinger 112]

If you see a profile you are interested in on SLS but they have say more then five certs...does that turn you off?

 

Does the number of certs a person have make a difference in whether or not you contact them?

 

I found someone the other day with like 70++ certs and though....hmmmm...is that excessive? Then again who am I to judge what's excessive and whats not?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

ClosetSwinger said:

I found someone the other day with like 70++ certs and though....hmmmm...is that excessive?

 

They could be club owners.

 

We have certified, and have been certified by couples that we haven't played with. It just means they are "real", and are genuinely interested in swinging.

 

EDIT: As to the original question: The number of certs (or lack thereof) doesn't really affect us either way.

[exploringRM 305]

Just like many certs does not mean the couple has played with all, the lack of many certs does not mean the couple is not very active.

 

What is it about many certs that turn you off? Most any couple that has been swinging for years and years may have quite a history of play partners.

 

It also seems that many play partners implies bed notchers/people that will play with anyone. You can't make that assumption either. People can be selective yet still have more experiences than you can count on two hands.

[Chicup 41]

What would be the point of 70 certs?

 

It's more like a Facebook wall at that stage.

[ClosetSwinger 112]

exploringRM said:

Just like many certs does not mean the couple has played with all, the lack of many certs does not mean the couple is not very active.

 

What is it about many certs that turn you off? Most any couple that has been swinging for years and years may have quite a history of play partners.

 

It also seems that many play partners implies bed notchers/people that will play with anyone. You can't make that assumption either. People can be selective yet still have more experiences than you can count on two hands.

 

I think the amount of certs in my head implied that a person may be a "bed notchers" like you stated. You are right I really shouldn't assume that. WE did have one cert from someone we never played with so I am sure that happens more often then not.

[N&G 207]

Some people are "Cert Beggars" and ask you to certify them as soon as you meet which may expain why some have an unusually large number of certs. I've come across free profiles with no certs of people that we've known for years and also seen a few certified profiles that I strongly suspect are fake. I don't think much of certs and believe that a lot of people use them to find a reason NOT to meet. If they don't like something in the other profile or they met the other person or couple and don't care for them then they will never contact you. Keep in mind that everyone's definition of real is different. I don't consider anyone to be real until after I have sex with them. Other people will certify anyone that they talk on the phone with.

[The Fuse 1,012]

We have four on SLS. We only played with two of those. On AFF it's one out of two.

 

People have different reasons for wanting or not wanting certs. Don't assume. For instance, one couple we know have frequent parties. They ask their house party guests to certify them. We were happy to do so. Doesn't mean we played with them (we didn't).

 

A couple with no certs could easily have a longer "history" than you might like. A couple with many might just like having a way of showing they socialize a lot.

[Additude 457]

We have a couple of certs, but that’s all we want. Otherwise it turns into a "who knows who you've played with" and all that becomes of that knowledge. At least in our neighborhood anyways.

 

But as for total number of certs and contacting...I would have second thoughts of someone with a dozen-ish certs or more. My initial thought is that they would probably appear to "Superficial" to us, or myself. That's completely my personal perception and is not based on any definitive reasoning.

 

It would be a consideration in the selection process for us.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I think there plenty of people who have too many certs, club owners and VIP's aside.

 

We do not have any certs and we consider ourselves pretty active. I hate to admit this because it seems petty but I make assumptions really fast when I look at who a couple has played with. Most certs will give you a clue if they actually played. I've seen certs that are just like 'Wow, what a great couple, can't wait to get back in bed with them soon.'

 

And the first thing I do is I look at the pictures of the 'other' couple and I make decisions about 'would I have played with them' Yes, it's childish and silly but it definitely influences our decision if we are going to reach out to them.

 

The certs can also reveal a pattern. If I see that they play with extremely petite women with really big boobs, then we won't reach out to them either because we may think they wouldn't be interested in my wife which has smaller breasts or I don't have ripped abs.

[exploringRM 305]

I think there plenty of people who have too many certs, club owners and VIP's aside.

 

We do not have any certs and we consider ourselves pretty active. I hate to admit this because it seems petty but I make assumptions really fast when I look at who a couple has played with. Most certs will give you a clue if they actually played. I've seen certs that are just like 'Wow, what a great couple, can't wait to get back in bed with them soon.'

 

And the first thing I do is I look at the pictures of the 'other' couple and I make decisions about 'would I have played with them' Yes, it's childish and silly but it definitely influences our decision if we are going to reach out to them.

 

The certs can also reveal a pattern. If I see that they play with extremely petite women with really big boobs, then we won't reach out to them either because we may think they wouldn't be interested in my wife which has smaller breasts or I don't have ripped abs.

 

That's funny, I do the same thing..if there is a wide variety of people who have certed versus a trend in body type. Would we fit into their range of people.

[exploringRM 305]

We have a couple of certs, but that’s all we want. Otherwise it turns into a "who knows who you've played with" and all that becomes of that knowledge. At least in our neighborhood anyways.

 

But as for total number of certs and contacting...I would have second thoughts of someone with a dozen-ish certs or more. My initial thought is that they would probably appear to "Superficial" to us, or myself. That's completely my personal perception and is not based on any definitive reasoning.

 

It would be a consideration in the selection process for us.

 

I'm really confused by the whole idea that a couple who has 12-15 (whatever) certifications is a turn off to people. I thought swinging was about finding other couples to play with. Yes i understand some just want a close couple and that's it. While we don't have certs from all, we have played with 12+ couples in less than a year (hey perhaps we are sluts). And for a small subset we've played a number of times with each couple.

 

I consider us very selective, we don't just find a couple and head off to play, we take the time to get to know them a bit. We've just had alot of time to partake of the lifestyle.

[xxxboxy 139]

We just can't have too much promiscuity in our promiscuous friends, it wouldn't be seemly.

 

I'm still of mixed feeling on certs in general...it's too much like having professional references on your resume for my taste. I understand that it's supposed to give you an indicator that the couple/person is real and genuine, but they're mostly going to be certified by other people that you don't know either. Quite the conundrum when you factor in that no certs could be bad, too many certs could be bad, too many certs from a "type" could be bad...damn, that sounds like a whole lot of passive drama...

[SAMnTINA 362]

We are on these sites to find play mates and fuck, do not understand why any one would be turned off by certs. Guess there are some out their that think you can be an almost virgin or a little pregnant. Don't expect that we will be anyone elses only playmate. We already have spouses we are nuts about all we want from our play partners is hot sex and attention while we are having sex, who and what they do before and after is none of our business (unless they are hot then by all means bring them along). Come on people it's just sex, and even bad sex is better than most other things we can think of.

[Chicup 41]

Come on people it's just sex, and even bad sex is better than most other things we can think of.

 

As a vanilla I'd have agreed with this.

 

As a swinger who has HAD bad swinging sex, I'd have to say no.

 

There are a few encounters where I'd rather have been home playing video games or perhaps mowing the lawn if I could do it over.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I'm really confused by the whole idea that a couple who has 12-15 (whatever) certifications is a turn off to people. I thought swinging was about finding other couples to play with. Yes i understand some just want a close couple and that's it. While we don't have certs from all, we have played with 12+ couples in less than a year (hey perhaps we are sluts).

 

You sluts!!

 

All kidding aside, I said I believe that you can have too many certs but it's not a turn off or a deal breaker by any means. It's really just a distraction. When we look at a couple, what carries the most weight when deciding to contact them is still all about the profile. Also, there are other things to take into consideration such as how long they have been swinging. Is that 12 - 15 in six months or 36 months?

 

If their profile pretty much reads "Looking for fuck buddies this weekend" (yes, I have seen that in a profile) then I'm likely to move on quickly. If they have a well thought out profile, maybe not a book like ours, but a sincere profile that gives us a warm and fuzzy about them then we will not think twice about reaching out. We wills still check out all of your certifications, lol.

 

In my mind, it's really do I want the couple reading my profile or reading the profile of everyone that has certed me? If the purpose of a certification is really just about saying 'hey look, we are a real couple' then why does anyone need so many?

 

We are on these sites to find play mates and fuck, do not understand why any one would be turned off by certs.

 

I don't think it's the certs completely as much as the whole profile and the certs. To this day, I know women who have fucked everyone of my friends. I don't want to be 'added' to her collection. I think the same way with couples. There are too many choices out there to to waste my time on bed notch collectors.

[ItTakes3 19]

It depends on what the certs say, and what the certifier's profile reveals. As a general rule, unless we would also be attracted to the certifier, we pass on by. No particular reason...just a gut feeling.

[xxxboxy 139]

Yet another wrinkle...everyone that they fuck must be attractive to you as well... What's next? The certifiers have to be named Bob and Gail too?

[Chicup 41]

Yet another wrinkle...everyone that they fuck must be attractive to you as well... What's next? The certifiers have to be named Bob and Gail too?

 

Actually yes in a way.

 

Call it risk management.

 

Let me explain. Lets take couple X who we like the look of their profile. Couple X seems to be in our strike zone, and sound like people we would like to meet.

 

Then we look at couple X's wall of certifications, lets call them A,B,C,D.

 

Couple A seems a bit less attractive to us but thats not an issue.

Couple B mentioned they are open to bi-male activities.

Couple C seems ok.

Couple D goes on a long rant about how they refuse to use condoms (I've seen this before).

 

We are now going to pass on couple X.

 

Now maybe the couple we contact, couple Y, who has no certs, hosts Haitian gay orgies every Tuesday. We dont' know that. Maybe couple X just met couple A,B,C, and D at a meet and greet, we don't know what exactly their relationship was with certainty. But I do know that I'm willing to err on the side of caution.

[ItTakes3 19]

Yet another wrinkle...everyone that they fuck must be attractive to you as well... What's next? The certifiers have to be named Bob and Gail too?

 

It's not the attractiveness, it's the information. Chicup explained it better.

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Actually yes in a way.

 

Call it risk management.

 

Let me explain. Lets take couple X who we like the look of their profile. Couple X seems to be in our strike zone, and sound like people we would like to meet.

 

Then we look at couple X's wall of certifications, lets call them A,B,C,D.

 

Couple A seems a bit less attractive to us but thats not an issue.

Couple B mentioned they are open to bi-male activities.

Couple C seems ok.

Couple D goes on a long rant about how they refuse to use condoms (I've seen this before).

 

We are now going to pass on couple X.

 

Now maybe the couple we contact, couple Y, who has no certs, hosts Haitian gay orgies every Tuesday. We dont' know that. Maybe couple X just met couple A,B,C, and D at a meet and greet, we don't know what exactly their relationship was with certainty. But I do know that I'm willing to err on the side of caution.

 

 

What Chicup said. I was trying to figure out how to word it the other night and all I needed to do was wait for you to post! We feel the same way.

 

Is it risk-free? Nope. Judgemental? Yep. But that's human nature.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Yeah, you can only go by the information you know. I think it's important to realize that there's a lot we don't know about people... but when the information is out there we have to take it into account.

 

However, just the number of certs does not constitute information that is really meaningful, because it doesn't tell you the couple has played -- not normally. Even our certs -- there are probably two certs that make it sound like we've played with people we haven't.

 

We did turn down a cert once from a couple we've known almost since we started. We have played with them, but they were just getting into some stuff that doesn't reflect what we're looking for in the lifestyle. So basically, we turned down the cert because we didn't want people to think we were looking for the things they had in their profile.

[ClosetSwinger 112]

DigginIt said:

You sluts!!

 

All kidding aside, I said I believe that you can have too many certs but it's not a turn off or a deal breaker by any means. It's really just a distraction. When we look at a couple, what carries the most weight when deciding to contact them is still all about the profile. Also, there are other things to take into consideration such as how long they have been swinging. Is that 12 - 15 in six months or 36 months?

 

If their profile pretty much reads "Looking for fuck buddies this weekend" (yes, I have seen that in a profile) then I'm likely to move on quickly. If they have a well thought out profile, maybe not a book like ours, but a sincere profile that gives us a warm and fuzzy about them then we will not think twice about reaching out. We wills still check out all of your certifications, lol.

 

In my mind, it's really do I want the couple reading my profile or reading the profile of everyone that has certed me? If the purpose of a certification is really just about saying 'hey look, we are a real couple' then why does anyone need so many?

 

I don't think it's the certs completely as much as the whole profile and the certs. To this day, I know women who have fucked everyone of my friends. I don't want to be 'added' to her collection. I think the same way with couples. There are too many choices out there to to waste my time on bed notch collectors.

 

I totally agree with all that! lol couldn't have said it better so I didn't!

[ViSexual 1,008]

When I was in sales management I had salesmen who'd solicit letters, from their customers, about how great they were. I was never impressed with a favorable letter unless I felt it was unsolicited.

 

Anyone with a lot of certs must have solicited them, don't you think?

 

And, after all, it isn't that difficult to get a good feel about someone through communication. And, for me at least, getting to know someone slowly is much better than any recommendation.