Why do people drop out of swinging?

[drziggy 89]

I have been asked by a large popular magazine to comment on the number of people that drop out of swinging and the reasons why.

 

Although I do I know a few couples that have quit swinging, I would like to ask if you either know people that are no longer swinging (and why), or if you you ever thought that you may drop out (and why).

 

I would appreciate any feedback or commentary.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Dr. Ziggy,

 

Your question is a timely one for me and my husband. Feel free to look at my blog entry on the subject: https://www.swingersboard.com/blogs/entry/528-taking-a-few-steps-away-from-the-lifestyle/ . We are not stopping, just slowing down, but I think the reasons are probably relevant.

[FitCpl30s 17]

We dropped out of swinging to start a family, but now we are slowly easing ourselves back in when finances permit.

[fun4Ds 1,097]

Well, we never thought we would "drop out" if thats even the correct thing to say...

 

Not sure about a good analogy of ourselves ? We just found ourselves one day making a full circle. From our beginning with the ones who introduced us many years ago, to seeing them again many years later. That had allot to do with it....... You would just have to know us personally to understand.

 

We took swinging to many levels, sailed as far as we ever dreamed together. But recently we just decided to let our sails down. We will always be a swinging ship, plenty of maintenance and polishing to do and who knows, maybe tomorrow we will hoist our sails again. Because we can....

 

But for tonight, we will have our memories.....

 

Not sure what we might chat about, unless you want some smoking hot details

[drziggy 89]

Not necessarily looking for the "hot" details albeit those could prove interesting, I'm sure...LOL

I'm looking for reasons why people would completely quit swinging...or take a hiatus for that matter.

Drop me a line if you like.

Cheers!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

You drop out of swinging for the same reasons you stop doing other things, money, bored, moved on and my p-p hurts. That would fall under medical reasons:lol: Not because we matured/grew-up, most of refuse to do that.

[Chicup 41]

Family requires more time.

Business needs more input.

Babysitting hard to find.

Taking couples we are interested in takes a lot of time with a lot of failures.

 

I'm sure its priorities for most people. Swinging takes a lot of energy if you are 'active' in the lifestyle. As the initial excitement dies down and you become experienced that cost in energy/time can be more than is worth it.

[ViSexual 1,008]

We were young, and our marriage was young, when we had our five experiences. My wife enjoyed it during but always had problems dealing with her emotions afterward.

 

She agreed to explore with me again about ten years ago and things were much more fun. But, I just didn't find the perfect other (s) and she lost interest in the hunt.

 

So, as you can see 'we've' dropped out but 'I' haven't given up hope. LOL!

 

I guess a lot of swingers do drop out because one half of the couple wants to.

[swinger5 31]

In the beginning it was fun looking for people to be with, the people were funny, real and cool.

 

For me, now, it gets BORING trying to find someone both are interested in. It also gets so expensive that I would rather buy a new outfit or a few pairs of shoes, then go to the movies by ourselves.

 

Medical issues have stopped us once, life with kids, work, etc. It's like anything, too much of a good thing makes you sick.

 

It's good to take a vacation.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

I've swung off-n-on for nearly a decade now...

 

When I was "off" ... it was because I too busy to actively participate -- I've got a very time consuming side-hobby which sometimes takes up much of my leisure-time... and sometimes months will go by and then I'll suddenly realize, "Wow - I haven't played in the lifestyle for almost a year"

 

Other times, I've been "off" because I would get into a monogamous relationship with someone who had no desire to participate. But I'd still stay in touch with my friends from the lifestyle ...I'd hear about their events & parties & whatnot and smile... remembering those fun times. And because I wasn't participating in any sexual activities with these friends in the lifestyle - I was technically no longer a "swinger" during those times.

[jimbaker 15]

The wife lost any interest, and I have no desire to go it alone. However, in my heart and in my fantasies I will always be in the lifestyle.

[sweet_tna 680]

We're on sort of a hiatus ourselves right now. It's nothing we consciously decided, but life has thrown us a curveball or two and we need to field 'em first. (My mom is seriously ill and my hubby has been traveling a lot)

[Guest MrsVan]

We have had similar situations as others. We were fairly active for a couple years in the lifestyle but then life went down hill. We have been hit hard by the economy so we cannot really afford to go out. On top of that I am dealing with a lot of issues some being a sick sister, stress levels of not having a job and feeling down on myself just to name a few.

 

I know that down the road things will get better for us and that maybe then I will be ready to start being active again. Until then I am trying to focus on life and what is important at this time in my life. When the time is right I hope that we both still have an interest in the LS and are ready to get involved.

[realcplub2 513]

Frustration tends to lead to either a "I quit" or at the very least a lets stop for a while

 

And the next logical question asks what frustration? as chicup said..

 

its all too easy to have demands placed on us that makes out extra curricular fun take a backseat..

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

MrsVan said:

. . . We were fairly active for a couple years in the lifestyle but then life went down hill. . .

Even if lifestyle activities are on hold, I'm pleased you're keeping pace with us here. Hope you think of Swingersboard a reliever of stress. We'll all look forward to a better year, 2010.

[J & K 16]

We didn't say we stopped, but more of a delay due to moving to a new area and a teenager who has kept us more home bound. It has been 2 yrs since we last got into the LS, but it is always there for us if we want to go back. So...in a nutshell it has to be: Family time.