Should we tell them up front we aren't interested in them?

[exploringRM 305]

Recently we received an email from a couple and they wrote: they like our profile, are interested in meeting and will look for us at an upcoming M&G that we are attending. We are on the event list (as well as our tag line) on sls so that's how they know we are going.

 

I checked their profile and we're not interested in this couple from a play time standpoint. On the high end of our age range and there's just no physical connection based on the profile.

 

I'm on the fence as to how to respond. I don't want to seem rude and say no, we don't want to talk to you..always willing the chat with people. But I also want them to understand there's no interest on our part of a sexual nature.

 

I can either send an email now and say...thanks, be happy to talk at the M&G but I don't think we are compatible, blah blah. Or just meet (if they find us) and then email later that we are not interested. Had they just inquired about meeting I would have said we're not interested but I don't want to come off like an asshole and say no..we will NOT talk to you..lol.

 

The M&G at the end of this week so I need to decide soon.

 

Thanks for your e-pinions!

[The Fuse 1,014]

I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there. They can figure out in person that you're not interested in play, either by your body language, by the fact that you express no interest, or by your polite refusal if they get as far as asking you. No harm in being friendly and it's not like it would do you any good to say "no" before they've even asked.

[exploringRM 305]

I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there. They can figure out in person that you're not interested in play, either by your body language, by the fact that you express no interest, or by your polite refusal if they get as far as asking you. No harm in being friendly and it's not like it would do you any good to say "no" before they've even asked.

 

Lol, I had forgotten, early on WE had received a reply like that "Always happy to meet new people" but not much more. I got the hint pretty quick

 

Thanks for kicking the dust out of my brain.

 

But I am interested in hearing how others may deal with this differenlty..always good to have a variety of replies.

[sweet_tna 680]

I'd keep my reply friendly but non-committal. People are often not the same in person as they are in their profiles. More than once, Mr. Sweet and I have met someone at a party or M&G that we wouldn't have given a second glance to based solely on their profiles. But in person, they were great. Perhaps they were new, and didn't know how to create a good profile, or just hadn't updated it recently.

 

Of course, there's also the chance that they're exactly as advertised, and just don't do it for you. In that case, they'll probably catch on to the lack of interest as soon as you meet.

 

=)

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I have never met anyone interested in us, from (online personal sites) in the lifesyle, that I wouldn't chit chat with a little bit, in person. Especially at a meet and greet/party.

 

They didn't ask to have sex in the PM, it sounds like they just want to say hello.

 

Tell them if they do see ya, to be sure and say hello

 

The toes we step on today may somehow be connected to the bodies we want to lick tommorow.....

[spvcouple 123]

Regardless of whether you want to play with them or not, it seems to me that common courtesy demands a reply e-mail. Yes, even IF you are going to see them this weekend at a party.

 

Sometimes us old codgers cannot connect a face with an e-mail address. The response assures that they know you are not ignoring them.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Here is an exact response we gave a couple the other day. I'd be curious to see what everyone thinks.

 

"Hey, sorry it took us a day to get back to you. We did get a chance to talk last night and look at your profile. You are both attractive but we just didn't feel the initial connection to move to the next step - maybe you felt the same after we opened our pictures Thank you very much for your consideration of XxxxX and I and maybe we will catch you at a social sometime. Thanks. XxxxX & XxxxX"

 

Since you are meeting them at a social then you might want to reword it with we would love to chat with you at the social and meet new friends in the lifestyle, etc but this is our typical thanks but no thanks.

[Additude 457]

Fuse said what I would have said.

 

No sense in burning a bridge. Just be polite and act uninterested. You never know, meeting in real can be quite different than meeting on paper. Don't rush to conclusions. There's no harm in telling them face to face there is no connection.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Additude said:

You never know, meeting in real can be quite different than meeting on paper.

 

Yea, sometimes it can be much scarier!!

 

[Additude 457]

Agree.

 

That prospect is absolutely part of that equasion also.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

A polite, "Yes, we'll see you at the Meet-n-Greet" would be fine. You're in no way committing to anything more than just saying "Hello"

[gator8r 41]

It is just a meet and greet, not a paid hotel room for the 4 of you. There will be other couples, maybe some that you already know. You can always just meet and greet them and then move along to the other couples that you are more attracted to.

[good times 991]

The Fuse said:

I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there.

 

That is exactly what we always say when we respond to similar inquiry's, and it has always worked out fine. Funny thing is, every once in a while we meet and actually hit it off, even though we were certain that we had no interest based on their profile.

[LFM2 1,484]

That is exactly what we always say when we respond to similar inquiry's, and it has always worked out fine. Funny thing is, every once in a while we meet and actually hit it off, even though we were certain that we had no interest based on their profile.

 

[exploringRM 305]

Thanks for the responses. I emailed them inviting them to come say hi. I can based on the profile that we are 99.99% sure we have no chemistry.

[twoforone100 45]

The only thing I would add to what the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

[The Fuse 1,014]

The only thing I would add to the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

 

Very good point!

[Learning 160]

We got asked to send some face pics and shipped some over to the couple and we got the one liner of "thanks but were not compatible" note. I thought to myself like okay f u but looking at it now it's like hey at least we didn't waste any time. Their loss!

[exploringRM 305]

The only thing I would add to what the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

 

Good point, didn't think of that. I was just a little put off by the original email in that it didn't really leave us any choice in the matter. But I guess it is no different than if they just introduced themselves with no email.

[JustAskJulie 2,597]

We get these types of emails pretty often in regards to events we sign up for. Our typical response (whether we might be interested or not) is simply "See you there" or "if you see us there be sure to say hello". And leave it at that. We figure we don't really know if we are interested in until we meet them and neither do they, but at the very least it's nice to have some pre-contact with a few people, it makes the night go easier. And no sense is turning down someone who hasn't even propositioned you yet... just seems rude.

[The Fuse 1,014]

I just remembered another, similar situation. We got an email from a couple that said, paraphrasing, "Oh my, what a couple! We're going to xxx party on xxx date (about a week and a half from the date of the email). Can we meet sooner?" This just rubbed me the wrong way because they seemed to be assuming we would automatically want to meet them in any case (we didn't).

 

I wrote back something neutral to the effect that we wouldn't be available to meet anytime soon, but maybe we'd see them out at a M&G sometime.

[exploringRM 305]

Never did meet them. I think I saw them from across the room (large nightclub so hard to say) but I was trying to track down my wife (she was having fun!) and figured we'd run into them at some point. But never saw them after that so perhaps they left? Due to the size of the club it's easy to miss people. It may also be that they are not into the nightclub scene so much.