Swinging/Divorce/Infidelity

[kellimc 229]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this, but I guess the mods can move it if they like.

 

A swinging couple who have known my mom and dad (and me) for years are getting a divorce. They are very well off financially but all the money is his. She married him when he was already rich and she didn't have anything. She is claiming that she is divorcing him for infidelity because he is a swinger. She also says that she wasn't unfaithful as a swinger because he forced or pressured her into the lifestyle. If anything, she was probably the one who got him into swinging. I know these people and know that she wasn't forced into anything. She is just wanting to get everything he has, including their son.

 

Has anyone here ever seen a situation like this before and how did it turn out for the people who were involved?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Has anyone here ever seen a situation like this before and how did it turn out for the people who were involved?

 

No, thankfully I haven't. This could, and probably will get ugly fast.

 

If I was dude, I'd figure out a way to make an agreeable settlement pronto.

If we were their former play friends, I'd beg them both to settle it out of court, pronto.

[CXXC 435]

I am most certain the media blitz on this will be quite horrific. I know of only one couple within the lifestyle who are going through a divorce. unfortunately, the Lifestyle is one of the issues that drove them apart. After 7 years of playing, the woman no longer wants to be a part of it. He still does. So, that, along with a few other matters (The real reasons they are divorcing) has caused what everyone thought was a great and fun couple to split! As for the monitary issue; They are being very fair and splitting everything down the middle.

Its unfortunate, but it happens.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Did they have a prenuptial agreement of any kind ?

[kellimc 229]

There's no prenup, but it's funny you mentioned it. My dad made a comment about how strange it would be to include a paragraph in a prenup that mentions that they are swingers and any swinging they do together wouldn't be considered infidelity.

[cocpl2007 170]

The male half here... been through this. Didn't make the newspapers, but could have. Financially we were equals, so just dividing the "marital estate" was left to the lawyers until our DS got involved and negotiated a settlement we could both agree to. Never made it to the courtroom.

 

The Ex made a big deal to our adult children and her family about "me" forcing her into swinging. Funny, she subsequently married one of our playmates, after he divorced. WE had played as couples prior to their breakup. Also she went out and got her tubes tied, back when we decided initially to get involved with others. Something she "forgot" to mention to her family and our kids.

 

People can say anything, and often do in a divorce. Even if it isn't said, as much damage is done through inference. It does seem that divorce can be an ugly process, and can get much more so when one spouse seeks to destroy their former spouse, along with chucking the marriage.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

Such a sad thing to even hear of someone gettings a divorce, especially this time of year......

 

Swingers or not....

 

Yea, he's going to pay..... like it or not.

[xxxboxy 139]

Isn't Cali both a no fault and community property state?

[kellimc 229]

Isn't Cali both a no fault and community property state?

 

They don't live in California.

[xxxboxy 139]

In any case in the absence of a pre-nup he'll most likely lose 50% or more of his assets and the locals will get a salacious and juicy bit of gossip. All bets are off as to how someone will react when money and kids are involved.

[TnHappyCpl 48]

Seems that the only way she could prove infidelity on his part would be to force play partners to testify thereby outing them.

[ncmd_couple 597]

I have to agree with TnHappyCpl, without evidence, what can she do. Personally, I would change the passwords on all swinging related sites. Delete all pics. Change the zip codes on the profiles, and clean out the profiles to look like your typical newbie profile. Then I would have my lawyer, and he/she would be the best, and would make her an offer that she will feel compelled to take. The worst part is if they have minor children, and it sounds like the wife is willing to use them as a weapon. He might be able to keep it from getting ugly, but probably not. Depends on how big a shark of a lawyer she has.

 

S

[VegasLee 1,486]

The hard part of trying to figure out what is happening in someone else's divorce is there is always there sides to the story.

 

Her side, His side and the truth.

 

I have found it best to always stay out of any of it. I have no dog in those fights.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

She is claiming that she is divorcing him for infidelity because he is a swinger. She also says that she wasn't unfaithful as a swinger because he forced or pressured her into the lifestyle.

 

I'm no expert lawyer, but that line of logic seems shaky at best and a competent attorney should make short work of tearing it apart. Forced/pressured in what way, and what proof is there of that? I think it may be a bluff. Give me what I want, or I'll out us both but I'll claim you made me do it. We'll both get splattered, but me less than you, and the payoff is worth it to me.

 

He could very easily turn that one around on her too and make the same accusation, but that she is leaving him for someone else, and make her try to disprove it.

 

Sounds like it will be ugly regardless, but my guess is that line of attack will get dropped pretty quick if challenged.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

All I know is you never truly know what is going on in a relationship unless it is your own.

[ncmd_couple 597]

All I know is you never truly know what is going on in a relationship unless it is your own.

 

And unfortunately, even then sometimes you don't know...

 

S