Does your doctor know you swing?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

You don't need to tell your Dr. if you have gangbangs! They wouldn't write that in a chart anyway. You should say you are non-monogamous or have multiple partners. I recently went to a new gyn. On the form in the birth control section I just checked vasectomy and wrote husband above it and checked condoms and wrote boyfriends above it. She didn't bat an eye, didn't ask any questions except whether I wanted std testing. As medical professionals we're trained to be professional about any sexual situation. Half the nurses in the office are probably swingers anyway! We've met tons of nurses, dr's, OT's, PT's, RT's, etc.

[Playtou 15]

I will tell you what happened when I told my Dr. I had an ingrown hair on my cock. I did not know that, I just saw a bump and was concerned. He took a look at it and said it looks like an ingrown hair but to be safe have you been messing around on your wife? You know you can tell me anything? So I told him that WE played around but no penetration (soft swap). He said: So you are some kind of swingers? There was anger in his voice and he stood up and got in my face. I was told that I needed to be checked for everything because I probably had all kinds of STDs. He stormed out of the room. I got to thinking about this as the nurse at the checkout window was asking me what kind of test I wanted to schedule (mind you this is all in ear shot of the other customers). I asked to see the Dr. again and in the hall asked him how he went from an ingrown hair to several hundred dollars of test. Voice raised and arms waving I get a lecture. I just paid my bill and left. A few days later it was clear it was an ingrown hair and I picked it out. A year later my new Dr. was working with me on a sinus infection that kept reappearing. He said I am going to have some test including HIV run on you. I don't bother to ask questions because too many people don't tell the truth. The test will give me the answers that I need. I liked his approach and thought it would be a good idea to take some STD test from time to time so I took them. Everything was clean and the Sinus infection went away in time with some nose spray.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I will tell you what happened when I told my Dr. I had an ingrown hair on my cock. I did not know that, I just saw a bump and was concerned. He took a look at it and said it looks like an ingrown hair but to be safe have you been messing around on your wife? You know you can tell me anything? So I told him that WE played around but no penetration (soft swap). He said: So you are some kind of swingers? There was anger in his voice and he stood up and got in my face. I was told that I needed to be checked for everything because I probably had all kinds of STDs. He stormed out of the room. I got to thinking about this as the nurse at the checkout window was asking me what kind of test I wanted to schedule (mind you this is all in ear shot of the other customers). I asked to see the Dr. again and in the hall asked him how he went from an ingrown hair to several hundred dollars of test. Voice raised and arms waving I get a lecture. I just paid my bill and left. A few days later it was clear it was an ingrown hair and I picked it out. A year later my new Dr. was working with me on a sinus infection that kept reappearing. He said I am going to have some test including HIV run on you. I don't bother to ask questions because too many people don't tell the truth. The test will give me the answers that I need. I liked his approach and thought it would be a good idea to take some STD test from time to time so I took them. Everything was clean and the Sinus infection went away in time with some nose spray.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience with your old doctor. That sucks! At least you found out that he's not the right Dr. for you. There are bad apples in every field, but I think most medical professionals do their best to provide care without being judgmental.

 

I think your story is a good lesson. If you tell your doctor and they react negatively, don't feel like you shouldn't have been truthful about your sexual history. Recognize that they are not providing good care and get a new doctor!

 

Glad you're ok, too!

[DigginIt 1,132]

Unless my GP becomes a swinger...none of their business.

 

Very soon with HIE all of your records are going to go to a big data center in the cloud where ANY doctor you goto or visit will post your information and can be retrieved by ANY other doctor...even a dentist...who wants to look at your health records before providing treatment.

 

I work on large scale HIE initiatives and the one thing I have learned is even though HIPAA is very big about anyone in the healthcare field giving away your information...you sign a waiver at every doctor allowing them to share that data with people who need to know or deemed necessary. The Government has deemed all your private health information necessary to be shared with...not just your present doctors but by any doctor you may decide to see in the future.

 

When you were single and you were having casual sex...was it important for your doctor to know to treat you? Why should it be any different now? All he needs to know is you want to be tested for something and the "why" when it comes to STD's is not important and I would be happy to tell my doctor it's none of his business of "why" I wanted to be tested. You could have been poked by a needle somewhere for all he needs to know.

 

Just my thoughts.

[WhatisTruth 41]

Unless my GP becomes a swinger...none of their business.

 

Very soon with HIE all of your records are going to go to a big data center in the cloud where ANY doctor you goto or visit will post your information and can be retrieved by ANY other doctor...even a dentist...who wants to look at your health records before providing treatment.

 

I work on large scale HIE initiatives and the one thing I have learned is even though HIPAA is very big about anyone in the healthcare field giving away your information...you sign a waiver at every doctor allowing them to share that data with people who need to know or deemed necessary. The Government has deemed all your private health information necessary to be shared with...not just your present doctors but by any doctor you may decide to see in the future.

 

When you were single and you were having casual sex...was it important for your doctor to know to treat you? Why should it be any different now? All he needs to know is you want to be tested for something and the "why" when it comes to STD's is not important and I would be happy to tell my doctor it's none of his business of "why" I wanted to be tested. You could have been poked by a needle somewhere for all he needs to know.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

I am personally for full-disclosure to healthcare professionals and our doctors know we are swingers. However, I recently discovered that your health insurance company can request a copy of any medical information or documents... I don't know if that sits well with me as they may try to use that against us if we were to ever file a serious claim.

[MN Tom 251]

Both of us work in the medical field and due to how we've seen records being handled (I personally have seen some records for thousands of patients and I dont work in the records dept nor am I a provider), we really dont feel inclined to mention to our doctors that we swing.

 

The thing is, we believe the doctors themselves will keep the secret, both due to how they are personally and their code of ethics. But, anything listed in the records (if something does get listed) is open game for dozens of people, many of which are not medical in nature. Insurance companies routinely request records from all past providers, and lawyers, claims handlers, and other providers all handle and can see these records at various times.

 

Keep in mind that anytime you file a claim (be it an auto accident, work injury, whatever) you sign an auth to release information. And then someone sends that auth out to all of your providers to get your records. And records handlers at those providers will all do their job (and look at the records if they feel like it, very few do, but it's possible), and then if their is an attorney involved, they also will see these records, and then the insurance company workers will also see them (claims reps and various office staffing). Then other review workers at insurance companies can see them too, ones that review claims for proper coding, past injury claims, history, coverage issues...

 

Now I know this sounds alarmist, but keep in mind a very high percentage of these people have no desire to view your records. To them you are just another number, another part of their job, old hat.

 

Those aren't really the ones I worry about. The ones I dislike are the insurance companies. They aren't on your side, they are in business to make money. And they run an insane amount of matrixes, analyses, and projections to figure out how to make more money. They take washed (names removed but data intact) versions of records and tabulate them with millions of others to build tables with to use for their calculations.

 

And they run estimates to see if they could nix this little bit or that little bit of coverage and make more money, and if so, they run all of their files through that filter and sort out the ones to deny.

 

Now, I do not know if swinging has been categorized as "risky behavior" of some sort and is being put into a denial category, but I do not want to find out either. It would most likely have to be listed in the billion pages of fine print they offer with your coverage terms, but who really reads that whole thing to begin with, or the many revisions they send you over time.

 

Not to mention I dont want some overly zealous and jaded special investigative claims rep pouring over my medical records and seeing "sleeps with multiple partners" or something of that sort listed.

 

Sucks, but that's how it is.

 

Funny thing is, I'm a proponent of digital records. I believe they are a big help, especially in the cases of emergency medicine and other unplanned hospital stays (which is an area where I really see modern western medicine shining). But, as we are finding out, help in one area can be a hindrance in another.

[Chicup 41]

Thats what I've been saying for years MN_Tom you just said it better.

 

The problem isn't the doctors, its the staff and outside agencies.

[WildMiCouple 325]

The problem isn't the doctors, its the staff and outside agencies.

Nahhh......couldn't be the doctors

 

We don't divulge the fact we're swingers to our doctor. Never had a reason to.

 

Brett

[amorvincitomnia 15]

We are extremely close to our family doctor, and we're in such a small town (10,000 people) that we often see him out and about. I'm not sure how I'm going to approach it. I may just ask for an STD test and hope he won't really question it. It'd be a PITA to try to find a different doctor just for testing.

[HisLioness 15]

I told our new GP (Lion was sitting next to me) and she got all interested in the LS. I don't think it was something she wrote in either of our charts, but it sure did pique her curiosity! Almost to the point where the questions were a little TOO personal (does that sound odd?)

[DigginIt 1,132]

Maybe your GP thought that was a hint...

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I work on large scale HIE initiatives and the one thing I have learned is even though HIPAA is very big about anyone in the healthcare field giving away your information...you sign a waiver at every doctor allowing them to share that data with people who need to know or deemed necessary. The Government has deemed all your private health information necessary to be shared with...not just your present doctors but by any doctor you may decide to see in the future.

 

When you were single and you were having casual sex...was it important for your doctor to know to treat you? Why should it be any different now? All he needs to know is you want to be tested for something and the "why" when it comes to STD's is not important and I would be happy to tell my doctor it's none of his business of "why" I wanted to be tested. You could have been poked by a needle somewhere for all he needs to know.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

I have not worked on HIPAA/HIE/EMR in a close to a decade now. We worked on a number of initiatives to protect information and still share what was needed, often in aggregate, but sometimes in specifics. It looks like much of what we were trying to achieve has failed.

 

But Digginit is correct, it is none of their damn business if you choose to keep it that way.

 

I do not share the specifics of WHY I want test done, just that I want them. What concerns me is that if I ever do test positive to anything (so far so good), then I will loose some of those privacy rights as they are required by law to report them in many states depending on the STD.

 

The other problem is with HIPAA forms themselves. I have had administrators drop an overly broad HIPAA form in front of me on every visit to certain offices. I have refused to sign a couple of the ones that were too open ended. Once I they told me I they COULD NOT treat me before I signed it, before I explained to them they could and said I would take my healthcare business elsewhere. I have only run into a couple of forms that were truly well designed, i.e. specific enough to give them what they needed AND protect my privacy. I have added my own disclaimer to a few and asked for a copy, lol, you should see their faces when I do that.

 

The bottom line is that it is your information and you have the right to control how it is used, except in certain cases set out by law. I recommend giving the doctor the info s/he needs to treat you, but you do not have to sign a blank check to them NOR should you put up with any medical personnel treating you poorly, as in a previous post.

[MN Tom 251]

I would imagine plenty of doctors are swingers.

 

One of my playmates is a doctor, and my wife is a nurse, which seems to be one of the most common professions in the lifestyle.

 

Would be kinda funny having a doctor asking personal questions. They barely have enough time to ask enough medical questions on most visits.

[mikeb 15]

It is not necessary to say you are in the Lifestyle. Most of the world can't deal with that yet. It is important to say that you are not monogamous. If your doctor cannot deal with that - get a new doctor.

[Brian and Jo 344]

Yes, our family doctor knows that we swing. Our old doctor retired recently (he was a bit old-fashioned and conservative so we did'nt tell him) and we have moved to a female doctor in her early thirties. In our first meeting with her she enquired about our sex life and we told her we were quite active (!) not just with each other but with other partners too. She took this in stride, reminded us about the importance of using condoms when we were having sex with other people and recommended that an STD test be included in our regular blood work. The discussion was just like a regular part of our annual check-up with our doctor and we were both very comfortable with it.

[intuition897 2,179]

Those aren't really the ones I worry about. The ones I dislike are the insurance companies. They aren't on your side, they are in business to make money. And they run an insane amount of matrixes, analyses, and projections to figure out how to make more money. They take washed (names removed but data intact) versions of records and tabulate them with millions of others to build tables with to use for their calculations.

 

And they run estimates to see if they could nix this little bit or that little bit of coverage and make more money, and if so, they run all of their files through that filter and sort out the ones to deny.

 

Now, I do not know if swinging has been categorized as "risky behavior" of some sort and is being put into a denial category, but I do not want to find out either. It would most likely have to be listed in the billion pages of fine print they offer with your coverage terms, but who really reads that whole thing to begin with, or the many revisions they send you over time.

 

This is why I love the Canadian health care system. We don't have penny-pinching assholes screwing our health to put money in their big, fat, fucking pockets. Okay, maybe we do. But although our health care system is far from perfect, I mean that, because it's not profit-driven, people are treated when they're sick, regardless of what their illness happens to be. And it's covered. I can name several people who would be dead right now if they lived in the US.

 

And as for telling my doctor, she is super cool about it. She has never been judgmental in the least, and has been supportive. She sees both me and Mr. intuition, she knows that we are completely open with one another, and knows that we are normal, sane, balanced people (more or less). She's been my doctor for 21 years now and has seen us through every bump, bruise, cough, broken bone and childbirth. I would be devastated if she stopped practicing.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

The Mrs. and I have the same family doctor. Our doctor knows that we both have sex with others (we told her that together), and she was completely cool, non-judgemental, and practical about it.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I agree about the HIE issues. Plus, "depersonalized" data is not really reliably depersonalized. I'd be reluctant to share anything I couldn't handle getting out.

 

With that in mind, my doctor has always been aware I have a fairly active personal life. To my amusement, when we came back from Asia and I have some very unusual stomach trouble (which prompted me to ask him about a parasite test), he cagily asked about multiple partners and mentioned that many of his patients who take trips to Asia - including with partners - told him stories that made his head spin and that if there was anything I needed to disclose, I should.

 

I think he was really disappointed that I didn't have any stories.

 

I certainly wouldn't tolerate the flailing, angry lectures some of you are describing - on any topic. I could barely tolerate the ER doctor who asked me what I had for lunch then laid into my diet, as if that was a representative sample.

[Sophy 568]

My family has a medical history of cervical cancer, so I get medical test once or twice at year.

 

I have informed my doctor only about the other men apart of my husband that I have had condom-less sex with, my doctors knows that we have these special couples-friends and that sometimes we get together and we have condom-less sex with them. I haven't told my doctor about the other occasional encounters with couples, mostly because I consider he doesn't need to know -> we use condoms with them, so there is no fluids exchange in my vagina.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I am, coincidentally, in the PCP's waiting room even now as I type. Yes, he knows about my non-monogamous activity. I have know idea what he might have written into my chart. The urologist knows too. I have lent marital advice to him once or twice -- that included no king of suggestion that he should try swing.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I looked at my chart this time at the gynecologist. It says something like, has sex partners with significant other in a social setting. I thought that was pretty accurate and non-judgemental.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I looked at my chart this time at the gynecologist. It says something like, has sex partners with significant other in a social setting. I thought that was pretty accurate and non-judgemental.

 

I don't think that could be improved upon. That is pretty much perfect.

[J&Wu 408]

J is a Physician, not in Primary Care but if he were would want his patients to be OK with open dialog about this important part of their preventative care.

[Jare1998 62]

We live in a small town. Only 2 lady docs to pick from. I'm a nurse in our local hospital and work very closely with them both. My doc is an older man and isn't shocked by much... at least he didn't seem too shocked when he saw my nipple piercings! But to tell him I'm a swinger - no way! I don't think I could work with the man anymore. In my situation there has to be some secrets.

[PeterJ 934]

We live in a small town. Only 2 lady docs to pick from. I'm a nurse in our local hospital and work very closely with them both. My doc is an older man and isn't shocked by much... at least he didn't seem too shocked when he saw my nipple piercings! But to tell him I'm a swinger - no way! I don't think I could work with the man anymore. In my situation there has to be some secrets.

 

This is one of the downsides of living in a small town, I'm afraid. You are on the horns of a dilemma; it's important for One's primary-care doc to know everything that's relevant about your health, but he's also a colleague. In this case I believe you are wise to choose discretion over candor. Still, if you should be so unfortunate as to contract an STD, you may face another dilemma, just how much to reveal about the circumstances in which you caught the bug.

[Fundamental Law 2,884]

We live in a small town. Only 2 lady docs to pick from. I'm a nurse in our local hospital and work very closely with them both. My doc is an older man and isn't shocked by much... at least he didn't seem too shocked when he saw my nipple piercings! But to tell him I'm a swinger - no way! I don't think I could work with the man anymore. In my situation there has to be some secrets.

 

That's a matter of personal judgement. As a physician, I long ago learned to make no assumptions about anyone. Rather, guarantee privacy and confidentiality and let the patient tell the story. Over the years, a number of colleagues have come to me as patients with personal health issues that make non-monogamy look like a skinned knee by comparison.

 

Physicians, particularly older physicians, know two things. First, trust matters. The Hippocratic oath has meaning. Second, how people conduct their lives is their choice. Keeping them healthy and safe is our responsibility. Trust me when I say that we look at STI testing as utterly routine. While certain infections have to be reported to public health authorities, those reports are strictly confidential as well.

 

Non-monogamy is hardly unusual. An asymptomatic swinger who presents him/herself for STI testing is either smart, worried or both. Every responsible physician is happy to do the testing and provide treatment or reassurance as needed.

[wildones8474 21]

No. She knows I'm very active but not how... I'm sure she could guess

[let's do it again 412]

We both have the same doctor and he knows because we get tested regularly. I don't mind getting tested, K hates going to the Doctor's office. 

[Rock n Tits 184]

On 3/19/2002 at 10:40 PM, TammyandDon said:

One of us can speak pretty truthfully about doctors and patients (which one, hmmm? Not tellin' *LOL*)

 

You have to find a good doctor, one that you can talk honestly to, and trust -- which is not easy, but certainly possible, even in this day and age.

 

The problem is that unless you tell your doctor, honestly, about your concerns and 'activities' you can never expect to get the best medical care. It's a little like not telling your mechanic that your car is making a funny noise and expecting them to find, prevent and fix problems around that noise 'by magic.'

 

This is ESPECIALLY true for women (you should have good regular gyne care at least once a year -- preferably every 6 months.

 

Why? Because it makes a difference. From PAP smears preventing cervical cancer deaths, to early detection of prostate cancer from rectal exams, there is a lot that your doctor can do to help you.

 

That said, most good doctors, if they see you for a while (especially if you request certain tests, drugs, etc.) will know pretty much that we are up to what we are up to

...and really, truly, most of them don't care one way or another what you do in your sex life, as long as you are willing to listen to a few things that we know about STDs/pregnancy/AIDs/herpes/HPV. We know that people are having sex, and we have it too (some of it just a kinky as anyone) but we also know that we can HELP you have it, and stay healthy, keep your partners (and swap partners) healthy, if you are honest.

 

It IS our business, because good doctors care about patients as friends, lovers -- and yes, as clients in a business. However, I can tell you that we'd rather keep you happy and healthy and have you as a paying patient for a long, long time, than have you get sick (hopefully) from something that we could have helped you avoid, and can easily treat. You don't want to know what it is like to have a patient make a fatal or lethal mistake, simply because they felt you didn't need to know.

 

People resent doctors, mothers and clergy because they see us as the three types of people that 'can tell us what to do.' But honestly, most of us do this as a calling, we are not millionaires who golf every wednesday, and we genuinely want our patients to be happy and healthy.

 

So, if your doctor tells you to wear a condom if you have sex with someone you don't know well, or to smoke less *or not at all,* try not to get mad. We have a duty to pass on what we know to you, and then you make your own choices.

Our doctor knows because they have swung with us

[Rock n Tits 184]

On 3/22/2003 at 1:43 PM, babydragon said:

I admitted to me GU doctor about being in the lifestyle, after about a hour of tutting and asking me questions about if i was using precations ect ect. he made sure I had a bag full of condoms and a reg appointment for every six weeks for a check up

Wife had to tell her doctor after she went to him for surgery after anal sex with a well hung stranger that ripped her for the second time. 

[Rock n Tits 184]

19 minutes ago, Rock n Tits said:

Wife had to tell her doctor after she went to him for surgery after anal sex with a well hung stranger that ripped her for the second time. 

She suggested because of her age she only have anal sex with small cock guys but her Pusey is open for big business lol

[PeterJ 934]

1 hour ago, Rock n Tits said:

Our doctor knows because they have swung with us

RnT, if you are not pulling our legs here and if your sexual relationship with your physician did not predate and end before your professional one, your doc is skating on very thin ice. The AMA says sex with patients is unethical. (See first link below.) 

 

Most of the legal websites I looked at (see second link for an example) agree with the AMA position and make note of potential legal liabilities in such cases.

 

I did find one legal source (third link) that argued for some gray areas. One was almost ridiculous in its narrowness: A physician at an Antarctic research station perhaps should not be forced to be celibate. One I found thought provoking: The sole medical care provider in a relatively isolated rural community.

 

https://code-medical-ethics.ama-assn.org/ethics-opinions/romantic-or-sexual-relationships-patients

 

https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/sexual-relationships-with-patients.html

 

https://medicaljustice.com/is-sex-with-a-patient-always-unprofessional-conduct/

 

Putting that last example aside for the moment, I would be leery of seeking care from a physician who flouted medical ethics. What other ethical or legal dicta, some of which might compromise my care, might they be contravening? 
 

I’d be interested in the thoughts on this matter of some of the medical and other healthcare professionals on this board.

 

And pruriently, Rock n Tits, was your doc a good fuck? 😉😂
 

[Rock n Tits 184]

13 minutes ago, PeterJ said:

RnT, if you are not pulling our legs here and if your sexual relationship with your physician did not predate and end before your professional one, your doc is skating on very thin ice. The AMA says sex with patients is unethical. (See first link below.) 

 

Most of the legal websites I looked at (see second link for an example) agree with the AMA position and make note of potential legal liabilities in such cases.

 

I did find one legal source (third link) that argued for some gray areas. One was almost ridiculous in its narrowness: A physician at an Antarctic research station perhaps should not be forced to be celibate. One I found thought provoking: The sole medical care provider in a relatively isolated rural community.

 

https://code-medical-ethics.ama-assn.org/ethics-opinions/romantic-or-sexual-relationships-patients

 

https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/sexual-relationships-with-patients.html

 

https://medicaljustice.com/is-sex-with-a-patient-always-unprofessional-conduct/

 

Putting that last example aside for the moment, I would be leery of seeking care from a physician who flouted medical ethics. What other ethical or legal dicta, some of which might compromise my care, might they be contravening? 
 

I’d be interested in the thoughts on this matter of some of the medical and other healthcare professionals on this board.

 

And pruriently, Rock n Tits, was your doc a good fuck? 😉😂
 

It was 20 years ago and yes she was

[Rock n Tits 184]

And they are friends still  we don’t need a lawyer on here

[couplers 4,591]

Our doctors know of our poly family situation because of the fundamental reason for sex - children.  Each of us women have had babies by both men, but that of itself isn’t the reason for the doctors to know; lots of people have had their kids with different partners.

 

It's because when one of them has to be taken to the doctor it isn't always the bio parent who takes them.  (Enter the lawyer who knows all our intimate details.)  So there isn't a problem when nappy haired Lora shows up with Clair's blue-eyed child for care.

 

The only one of our kids whose paternity wasn't planned in advance was my first.  Clair had gotten inadvertently pregnant by David (she wasn't fucking Red at the time).  She and I had previously talked about going through pregnancy and birth at the same time, so I went for it "pot luck" with hubby and Red just to get the job done.  We didn't know which man had won the race when I visited my obstetrician, so sometimes Red would go with me, and sometimes David.

 

Edited April 9, 2023 by couplers

[Fundamental Law 2,884]

From a physician.

 

The doctor-patient relationship is delicate and sacred. It is not a contract, it is a covenant, much like marriage is a covenant. 

 

 Professionalism has to be maintained at all times. There's no good defense for the evolution of sexual relationship when a physician is actively treating a patient. If it can't be discouraged with a clear explanation of why the relationship cannot go beyond the professional relationship,  the patient should be referred to or seek a different treating physician. 

 

It's not just the patient, by the way. It's not unusual for a family member of the patient to flirt with the physician. It's best to stay away from immediate family as well. 

 

[lcmim 1,081]

I said either in this thread or one very much on the same topic , that I felt very comfortable talking about the LS with my current physician. She was younger than I am, then again most doctors are. She was likely 35+. She inspired my comfort level.

She was a PA.

 

Since then she gas been recruited by a medical college  to  train PAs. Their gain is my loss. 

Her replacement an MD is younger still. this means she cannot be far from her residency.

She seems nice enough, she likely has the ethical part down, as a theory. What I question is whether her life experience is deep enough for me to open up to her.

So again I am back to building my comfort level.
 

I guess that when this 72 year old guy asks for a reup on his Cialis and a full STI panel I will have all the info that I need while watching her face.

 

[Ed23 32]

On 12/31/2016 at 11:14 PM, Fundamental Law said:

We live in a small town. Only 2 lady docs to pick from. I'm a nurse in our local hospital and work very closely with them both. My doc is an older man and isn't shocked by much... at least he didn't seem too shocked when he saw my

You never know. Wife and I have (both docs) have played with a few nurses and a few docs too.  

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Of course.  Though not in detail, just disclosed multiple partners and non-monogamous.  Changed my vaccine schedule(notably to get the Hepatitus and HPV vaccines) and a periodic ask for STI screening but that's it.

[couplers 4,591]

On 4/9/2023 at 7:26 AM, couplers said:

The only one of our kids whose paternity wasn't planned in advance was my first.

I feel compelled to add that when Clair gave birth, my husband David was in the delivery room since we knew that he was the father.  When it came time for me to deliver, I expected Red to be there because we suspected that he was the one that did the job.  He was hesitant due to the bloody nature of the process, so I had Clair.  It was the better decision, the beginning of a continuation of the bonding between us women as we became mothers, which started when we were pregnant together, and I had already suckled her child.

[NYirCPL 38]

I (male half) would never tell my primary (totally conservative and a friend of my parents) but my urologist recently asked me WTF why I always ask him to add an STI panel to the quarterly HRT related blood work. 

 

I thought about just putting it out there, but left it that I was pretty active and just want to stay safe...  he probably assumes I'm a cheater.

Edited April 11, 2023 by NYirCPL

[PeterJ 934]

16 minutes ago, NYirCPL said:

I (male half) would never tell my primary (totally conservative and a friend of my parents) but my urologist recently asked me WTF why I always ask him to add an STI panel to the quarterly HRT related blood work. 

 

I thought about just putting it out there, but left it that I was pretty active and just want to stay safe...  he probably assumes I'm a cheater.

NYirCPL, I am not judging you. I honor your decision not to out yourself to your urologist. And when I was younger I would also have probably preferred that my docs think I was a cheater than a swinger — sexually open marriages were rarer then, or least they were less spoken of.
 

Over the years, and without particularly noticing it, my attitude changed. My wife and I share a PCP in NYC, but we have a sort of "secondary-primary" doc in the small town where we spend most of our time. Seven or eight years ago I contracted a UTI following an MFM with a couple who were regular lifestyle friends. My only hesitation about telling the doc — she’s an aging counterculture progressive, but also a down the road neighbor — was outing my wife to her as well as myself. But I told the doc we had an open marriage because I really didn’t want her to think I would cheat on my wife.