Is having a straight female a handicap in swinging?

[Hedo2forus 15]

My wife and I have been in the life style for almost three years, and we have met some very nice people. Our question that we would like to put out there is, Would the fact that the female is straight, be an issue, would it prevent you from playing with the couple even if you were bi? It seems to us that when ever people find out that Di is straight, they back off. Some people have even put pressure on her to change. We would like some responses to know if this is a handicap, or is it just the area that we live. From what we can tell, from the swinger sites that we have been members of, it appears to us that the lifestyle is mostly a place for Bi women and there husbands to play?

 

Tony and Di

[VegasLee 1,486]

Laura is not Bi and we have been in the Lifestyle for many years.

 

Don't let others put pressure on her, it is your life and what you are into.

 

Be upfront when asked and leave it at that. If they can not accept the fact she is not Bi you don't want to play with them anyway.

 

There are many bi and straight couples out there that will be more then happy to party with you without dealing with those that have no common sense.

[femnewb4u2 328]

I am a bi female. I play alone and in a relationship. A woman being straight does not deter me at all from playing with a couple. Not as a single female or one half of a couple. All I ask is that she be up front with it. Another way you might look at it is this....just because two women are bi in one way or another does not mean they will have the chemistry to play with one another even when the chemistry is there to play with the male(s). Play can still be wonderful when everyone is on the same page.

 

As Vegas said, do not let others push your wife into something that is not who she is or comfortable exploring. It does not work out well for anyone in the end. Swing is your gift to share with each other and best enjoyed when it works in a manner best for each of you....

[The Fuse 1,012]

I am mostly straight, and it does seem to me that it causes many couples to rule us out as play partners. There are also plenty of couples with women who are not bi, or not bi enough for it to be a factor.

 

We are up front about what we're looking for and not looking for. If girl play is important to another couple, they move on. I wouldn't want to pressure anyone to give up their priorities any more than I'd want someone to pressure me to play with women.

 

Overall, we have been surprised by the prominence and relative importance of female bisexuality in the lifestyle. It has been kind of a pain to us. But what can we do? We work around it and try not to waste anyone's time.

[Tia Vampire 167]

Hedo2forus, we also have been in the life-style for 3 years and have had a hard time finding straight couples. IMO we do not think that there are that many bi women in the life-style, but there are that many insecuer guys. From the 6 sites that we have been members on, it looks like 90% of the women are bi and 10% are straight. We think that there is more of an issue with the guys seeing their wives/gf with another man. So when these kind of couples get in the life-style, a man feels more comfortable seeing his wife with another woman because the husdand feels less intimidated. We think the reason that bi woman seem so prominent is because when the female half is attracted to the female half of a couple and some bi women have to be attracted to both the female half and male half to want to interact with a couple. The couples with bi female will approach a couple and are sometimes agressive because that is the only way the husband is willing to play and maybe that will be the only time the wife will be able to play. I the female half enjoy reading the forum sections on different sites. I have also read threads on women who will start with the female half of a couple for about two to three minutes then turn around and play with the guy half of the other couple until orgasm. These are the straight woman that get with a couple with a bi female who starts with the female just to want to really get with the male half. Then this leaves the woman of the other couple who was truely bi upset. So if your wife does not want to play with bi women, don't let them change her. It will only make people angry and confussed. We have also ran into couples that when they find out that the female half is not bi, they want to move on. We agree with VegasLee. Let them move on.

[The Fuse 1,012]

To the OP:

 

So, you are not having much luck, and you think it's because your wife isn't bi, or because there's something wrong with your profile (your other thread).

 

I suggest you try clubs and meet and greets to find playmates. Talk to people. Find out what they're into. See if they have interest in you. But be honest -- don't mislead by claiming "bi curious" like you did on your AFF profile, or in any other way. Nothing makes me turn off faster to someone I might have been interested in, than finding out they are trying to mislead me.

[xxxboxy 139]

Hedo2forus, we also have been in the life-style for 3 years and have had a hard time finding straight couples. IMO we do not think that there are that many bi women in the life-style, but there are that many insecuer guys. From the 6 sites that we have been members on, it looks like 90% of the women are bi and 10% are straight. We think that there is more of an issue with the guys seeing their wives/gf with another man. So when these kind of couples get in the life-style, a man feels more comfortable seeing his wife with another woman because the husdand feels less intimidated. We think the reason that bi woman seem so prominent is because when the female half is attracted to the female half of a couple and some bi women have to be attracted to both the female half and male half to want to interact with a couple. The couples with bi female will approach a couple and are sometimes agressive because that is the only way the husband is willing to play and maybe that will be the only time the wife will be able to play. I the female half enjoy reading the forum sections on different sites. I have also read threads on women who will start with the female half of a couple for about two to three minutes then turn around and play with the guy half of the other couple until orgasm. These are the straight woman that get with a couple with a bi female who starts with the female just to want to really get with the male half. Then this leaves the woman of the other couple who was truely bi upset. So if your wife does not want to play with bi women, don't let them change her. It will only make people angry and confussed. We have also ran into couples that when they find out that the female half is not bi, they want to move on. We agree with VegasLee. Let them move on.

 

We've had that happen. It sucks when the "bi" woman really isn't.

[Hedo2forus 15]

Thanks for the input. We try to be as upfront and honest as possible.

Thefuse and xxxboxy, we did have bi-curious on our profile for awhile,but we thought that meant willing to dance with other women, with some touching. But not kissing and or sex. We never said that she was Bi. We agree with Tia Vampire that it also seems to us that 90% of women are bi. Perhaps they put bi on their profile thinking that they are going to get more action, because so many women are saying that they are bi. We have gone to clubs, and meet and greets, we've met alot of people, and we love to dance!

 

Tony and Di

[xxxboxy 139]

I'm straight and I don't want to dance with or touch another man in anyway that leads someone to believe that there is the slightest possibility of a sexual encounter. Perhaps in your profile you could describe Di as being "Bi-friendly" or better yet explain that she likes to dance with and perhaps touch another woman but that's the limit.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Thanks for the input. We try to be as upfront and honest as possible.

Thefuse and xxxboxy, we did have bi-curious on our profile for awhile,but we thought that meant willing to dance with other women, with some touching. But not kissing and or sex. We never said that she was Bi.

Tony and Di

 

Well, the classification is for sexual orientation, not dancing orientation. But I think you knew that. "Bi-curious" seems to cover a wide variety of preferences, but they all involve the possibility of sex with other people of the same gender.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Here are the results of a "poll" that we have had on one of our sites for the last three years:

 

Ladies, are you really bi?

 

Yes, I am truely Bi. 27%

I am passive Bi, I like the touch of other women. 39%

I am bi to keep my spouse happy. 6%

I am bi to fit into the lifestyle 6%

I am not bi at all, I like the men only. 18%

 

Remember, this is on a Swing Clubs web site so most people answering should be considered in the Lifestyle.

 

It appears there are not as many "real" Bi women as some think.

[cari and mar 45]

Well, the classification is for sexual orientation, not dancing orientation. But I think you knew that. "Bi-curious" seems to cover a wide variety of preferences, but they all involve the possibility of sex with other people of the same gender.

We agree with this assessment. Cari is bi, and she would be somewhat disappointed if she got all worked up on the dance floor with a wonderful lady, only to find out that the ladies definition of bi-curious had already been pretty much fulfilled.

 

As Cari like to say though, she can play it straight too - and we know a number of other couples that are the same way (or pretty close to completely straight). Just be yourself and let others know... it'll work out in the end.

 

C&M

[ALilOEverything 901]

I absolutely don't mind it if the woman's straight. I love to play with women but it makes it even easier to play with couples if there doesn't need to be a match between the women. As I said a week or two ago, I'm not in this to explore my Bi side, I've already done that.

[sexycouple1 36]

I know my wife who likes women would be fine with a woman being straight if as a couple we liked both the guy and the girl.

 

With that said we were advised by recent friends in this lifestyle that you shouldn't settle for what you think "you" would want in a couple. You should never base your decision of who you sleep with based on outside pressures even its from your own spouse such as trying to appease your spouse , (like the taking one for the team mentality) or caring about stroking another couples ego because they made you feel guilty for your honest feelings toward them. Sex should be healthy. It should be natural. It shouldn't be a chore. When its starts to feel like your trying to hard with a couple its probably for the wrong reason then. It should be exciting & fun just like when you were young and nervous with that first girl in the backseat of your car when sex was new and magical.

[twoforone100 45]

No it would not matter... Yes we are a straight male bi female couple... but as we have often said she can play straight. The couple matters more to us.

[JoCoCpl 99]

I'm certain that there have been couples with bi women who have seen our "both straight" profiles and moved on. That's ok though - it's all about what EVERYONE wants, and if there's not a match, so be it.

 

That said, we've had encounters and conversations with numerous couples with bi females. While the pool for us to choose from isn't as big as it may be for others, there are still plenty of fine people out there who fit our needs (and vice versa).

[FitCpl30s 17]

We have come across quite a few couples that when they found out we were both straight and didn't want to play. O'well plenty of other couples out there.

[GerdOEvert 51]

It seems to me that more than 50% of the women in the Lifestype are bi. It also seems to me after more than 20 years, that if they are not bi, the chances of being in the lifestyle are much slimmer.

 

There are at least two types of bi women. Active bi and passive bi. Some women who are straight, also discover their bi side later.

 

As a guy who is bi, I can tell you that as you swing longer, you find more guys, and you find places and ways to play. But it is almost always in a closed room, or at homes

and apartments later or on another day. There is almost no open guy to guy contact.

 

I would like to share the sexiest experience I ever had. Two cocks in Eileen Pussy. God,

that felt good. All of us came, and Eileen loved it. We only tried it three or four times,

but if you get a chance try it. I like that much better than the DP or pussy and ass.

 

Otto

[hppycpleus 40]

I am straight. I have no desire to be with another woman.

[good times 991]

My wife is straight and it really has never been a problem for us. The only things we have noticed are that a lot of women that list themselves as Bi admit that they really prefer men when they find out my wife is straight.

 

As far as people backing off when they find out that my wife is not bi is concerned, I have never really seen that as a problem. If the female of the other couple is only interested in playing with my wife and not me, we aren't interested in them either.

[joesharo 15]

We are a straight / straight couple as well. Usually has not been a problem as we are pretty up front about it. We still have a laugh about a party we were at where I overheard a couple of women discussing Sharon; "That blond is pretty hot" " Oh you mean the straight one" :-)

Most of our favorite couples have a bi or bi curious female, but we all have pretty good chemistry so bi play is limited to the girls kissing and cuddling, which the other females are fine with. As stated above, just a matter of being honest and things usually work out OK.

[exploringRM 305]

My wife always jokes she is a waist-up kinda girl when it comes to girl-girl play. We make sure any potential play partners understand that she is in this for the men. She has fun with the women and actually enjoys their touch..and she has been know to wander her fingers below the waist, but it's gotta be the right girl and the right mood.

[hotqld 15]

We are a straight couple from Australia and find much the same here.

98% of couples profiles list themselves as the females being Bi.

We do hook up with a bi female of a couple and make it clear we are both straight...in the bedroom they allways say something along the lines of "I know I cant touch but would love to"

How would the straight guys feel with a bi guy saying that in the bedroom?

 

We are allways coming across the excuse from the bi girls husbands saying the girls must play 1st....we agree part of this is male insecurity.

 

The other thing we are told is ...How boring a straight couple , they just want one on one swap and probably seperate rooms.

 

Us too after being in the lifestyle for 3 years where the norm you would expect to be sex with the opposite sex being the prioity but sadly the lifestyle is heavily slanted to sex with the same sex!

[sweet_tna 680]

The other thing we are told is ...How boring a straight couple , they just want one on one swap and probably seperate rooms

 

The folks saying this have obviously not hooked up with the right people!

 

=)